Wow, what an original, effective story. Very chilling, very well written. It makes the reader think that you did something horrible on your fourth birthday and everyone was angry at you for some reason. Very chilling. Added to the fact the only person missing is you. I wish you added more though. Maybe going up to your parents and ask if something happened then, but it is your story, do as you wish, just a suggestion. Thank you for the read!
I love your story, dark and suspenseful. I found some grammar mistakes in the second paragraph though (farther not father, e.g.), otherwise pretty good. Great job! Hope to see more stories from you!
I love your story. It is very interesting, very well written, very emotional, and very shocking. It is dark, but not too physically out there. I felt so sorry for the characters, the boy, his mom, all the victims, and loathed the villain as should. 10/10!
What a beautiful story, but did he have two mothers (Samantha and Amber)? That part was a bit confusing, and you did say "mums always sat in front", not trying to be nitpicking just making an observation. Otherwise, what a very beautiful story, very well written, very meaningful. Five stars from me, but please look over what I mentioned. It might be very confusing for readers. All the best!
First off, not to sound picky, but I noticed a grammatical error, "They didn’t go a home a different way this time" (the a should not be there), the error is very small, but I just thought I would mention it.
Second, this story is probably the best story I have read on Writing.com so far, I mean that. It is sad in some parts, but that makes it all the more realistic, and very, very heartwarming, a great feel good story for the whole family! You should definitely look into publishing this. Excellent job! A+
I love this story. Great job, but it is missing something at the end. Perhaps you could do a second part, but up to you. It might be more fun though if you have the boy actually turn into a demon at the end (and his family as well if they did attempt to save him), but again, up to you, your story. I still enjoyed reading it though. Kudos!
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