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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/mousethyme
Review Requests: ON
78 Public Reviews Given
92 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Casual. More my opinion than, say, most reviewers.
I'm good at...
Finding grammar and punctuation errors.
Favorite Genres
horror, fantasy, YA.
Public Reviews
Previous ... -1- 2 ... Next
1
1
Review by Mousethyme
Rated: E | (4.0)
I am a casual reviewer who gives mostly my opinion. Basically, I know what I like.

Structure: is good. Listing goals is always a great way to gain perspective.


Subject matter: As said in structure. A tongue in cheek look at one's life.


Overall impression: It gave me a chuckle which isn't easy to do.


Notes: A lot of writer's struggle with similar feelings. Just know that you are not alone.


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Review of Hey, Listen.  
Review by Mousethyme
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
I am a casual reviewer who gives mostly my opinion. Basically I know what I like.

Structure: It's an interesting form for poetry. Rhyme and astatically. With the repeated verse it seems almost lyrics....


Subject matter: A little hard to follow but still very nice.


Overall impression: A great piece of work that you can see the effort put into it.


Notes: The "what're" in the third verse irks me somewhat. could just be me.


I have just reviewed you
3
3
Review by Mousethyme
Rated: E | (4.0)
I am a casual reviewer who gives mostly my opinion. Basically I know what I like.

Structure: It has an interesting rhythm to it.


Subject matter: Sometimes hard to follow but very moving.


Overall impression: I applaud your effort. Non-rhyming poetry is something that few can pull off. You've done an excellent job here.


Notes: The 'of my favorite song" in the second verse seems repeated unnecessarily.
The last verse "you of know me" seems like a typo of a sort.

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Review by Mousethyme
Rated: E | (4.5)
I am a casual reviewer who gives mostly my opinion. Basically I know what I like.

Structure: when you first look at it you think it is a poem. when you realize it is not the standard rhyming type, you are pleasantly surprised


Subject matter: How many of us are no longer willing to take a man at his word? This piece gives us hope that there might just be men worthy of it still out there.


Overall impression: A short choppy piece, but one definitely worth taking a look at.


Notes: There were no spelling or grammatical errors detected.


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5
5
Review by Mousethyme
Rated: E | (3.5)
Starts out good so far. It leaves a lot of questions though. What kind of friend? What kind of relationship do you have? What gender is this friend? I'm left with all sorts of possibilities floating around my head.

Like I said though. A good beginning. You don't have to be an open book like me.

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Review of OI! DRAGON!  
Review by Mousethyme
Rated: E | (4.5)
Cute story. I would correct some of your grammar, but it fits your character's cadence. I like this story a lot. The way it is told makes it all the more entertaining. It may not fit everyone's tastes, but as I have said, I like it....

You have been reviewed by Mousethyme
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7
Review of JUNE  
Review by Mousethyme
Rated: E | (4.0)
Nice acrostic and good definition.

One slight misplace that I see.... Your E line first word is not the start of the line. I would suggest moving it to Everyone and just delete "as we enter the final stages of the month". Just the opinion of a fellow poet (even though I don't write much of it anymore)

You have been reviewed by Mousethyme
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8
Review by Mousethyme
Rated: E | (4.0)
An honest look at love from someone who was never taught how to.

Leaves me wondering if the author ever found that selflove that comes before any other kind. To be loved and accepted one must believe they are worthy of it. That is a personal step that no one can take for you.

I hope that you find contentment with yourself at the very least.


You have been reviewed by Mousethyme:
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9
9
Review by Mousethyme
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
What a beautiful story.

I remember stuff like that for different holidays. Me and my friends used to run through the neighborhood with scissors asking at each house with flowers if we could cut some to give to our Mothers for their day. At the end of the block was a huge lilac bush that we knew we didn't have to ask for, so our Mothers got mostly lilacs. We would go down and take bunches when we were in trouble to say that we were sorry.....

Thank you for some beautiful memories......
10
10
Review by Mousethyme
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.0)
It is a beautiful page with tons of information. I would like to know how much xp my dragons have accumulated so far. Just a suggestion.
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11
Review of The Cave 2  
Review by Mousethyme
Rated: E | (4.5)
This one is turning out even better than the first! I love it!!!!
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12
Review of WDC Dragon Vale  
Review by Mousethyme
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Some of it is a bit confusing but if you hang in there long enough you will eventually get it. There is just a lot of stuff to take in.

I am honored to be a part of it and applaud Gervic for taking on such a massive undertaking.

I can't wait for my dragons to hatch!!!
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Review of My introduction  
Review by Mousethyme
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Where are you from? You seem to write with an accent which is very uncommon. It makes you an interesting read.

I look forward to reading some of your experiences.
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Review of Crash  
Review by Mousethyme
Rated: E | (4.0)
It's a little bit choppy on the rhythm.

I find myself wondering about things, like if Johnny has a job and is his drinking affecting that as well. I see a hard boiled detective or a private eye. I also wonder how old Colby is and a few things about Susan.

You caught my interest but this needs to be more than a short story....

Just my opinions. Blessed Be.
15
15
Review by Mousethyme
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This campfire is so much fun. I'm glad you started it for us.

How do you really review a campfire? It is more than one author with different styles of writing amongst them.

Still they are fun to participate in.
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Review of Shift  
Review by Mousethyme
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
"up the legs of her pants and shirt" may sound better as up the legs of her pants to her shirt

"all he could find was a blanket smelling stale from cigarette smoke and body odor"

Those are the only suggestions I have. It's a good piece of flash fiction that could easily be expanded to a longer piece....

You caught my attention and left me wanting to know more....Bravo.
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17
Review of The Cave-Part 1  
Review by Mousethyme
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
This campfire is so much fun. I can't wait to see what adventures we have next.

Campfires are meant to be fun and not worry about so much grammar and such.

I look forward to more shenanigans.
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Review of Make a Superhero  
Review by Mousethyme
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Interesting concept. I used to play D&D and the one from DC Comics, Heroes, I think. I also had my own RPG called Mansions.

Anyways, this is well thought out and creatively put together.

Bravo, my friend.

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Review by Mousethyme
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I feel like it is a typo in the title. If not, then it is a wonderful bit of attraction.

I love this piece. I am a fan of the dark and things that go bump.

Very,very nice.
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Review by Mousethyme
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Powerful love poem.

I especially like your use of the word "devour" at the end.....I had someone like this in my life but sadly she has passed on.....

A very strong sentiment.

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21
Review of The Weather King  
Review by Mousethyme
Rated: E | (4.5)
Such a great poem

You don't start thinking until more than half way through it that it could be about the groundhog. Then you have to go back and read it again....

Very nice.
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Review by Mousethyme
Rated: E | (4.5)
and their friendship grows by the day......

so cute. I'm glad I could help.
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23
Review by Mousethyme
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This was......interesting, to say the least. I don't think I'll ever hear of white albino naked lab mice the same again, nor will I stop wondering about the attraction of rubbing them on one's head.

It is a very cute story.
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Review of Star  
Review by Mousethyme
Rated: E | (3.5)
7th line - change "was seen" to "would seem"... just a suggestion.

Thank you for writing such an inspired piece! I see no spelling or grammar mistakes.

It may benefit from some WritingML making it easier to read. Maybe some color or something to make the lines pop. Again, just a suggestion.

very nice work!
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Review of The Quills Group  
Review by Mousethyme
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello and Congratulations!!!!
Kit Picked you as the benefactor of " Mouse Colony 50/30/20 Raffle"   by Mousethyme ....

You have been generously donated 61,500 gps!!!!!!

Your group here has no spelling or grammatical errors.

A very nice representation of a very fine group!
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