|So, to start out with the positives: I really love your way with words. The descriptions are beautiful and poetic and I just love the story of a dog playing at the dog park from the dog's point of view. Very nice! There were a lot of spelling, punctuation, and grammar errors, unfortunately, so I've listed them with some suggestions below if you decide you'd like to edit this story to submit for publication at some point.
The brilliance of Gods' (If you mean just one god you would use God's. If you mean more than 1, you generally wouldn't capitalize so it'd be gods')
gold painted leaves splashed throughout the scene before me; and tingling with excitement as if electricity was passing through me, I embraced all the input my senses were takinginjecting into my whole being. (Just a suggestion for better wording)
reminded me of my daysthe place where I was born
I reveled in my favorite memories and the early days of my young life briefly because, the vast expanse of my playground was calling me
following the scent up the tree, I touched the moss and felt the fuzziness of it. It clung to the tree as a baby clings to its' mother.
inviting me to explore further:. My favorite places
be alive and be able to roam
soldiers keeping watch
Fall, my favorite time of year, when the air is crisp, clean, and cool; full of the smell of the earth making preparations for winter; and occasionally creating gusts of wind, flowing through trees andcausing a rustling and scurrying of leaves as they flutter past me; andwhich I take in like a sponge drinking water.
The animals were actively storing their winter supplies as if their lives depended on it, and their storehouses must be bursting at the seams with an abundance for winter. My life was full of wonder like Disneyland and I felt like a kid in a candy store.
"Freddie!....Freddie,..common!" (You could use c'mon or come on
I had to race like a greyhound toward home. It was time to leave the dog park and say goodbye to my friends.
(The last paragraph is confusing. The entire story seemed to take place at the dog park. You're saying it's time to go home, but then saying it's time to go to the dog park. My changes are just a suggestion.)
I really did enjoy the piece and hope you will continue to write on!