*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Creative fun in
the palm of your hand.
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/muse4u
Review Requests: OFF
171 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... -1- 2 3 4 ... Next
1
1
Review of Angel on the Line  
Review by Calli Seren
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Donna -
You were kind enough to review my piece Angel Musing some months back and I apologize for the delay in returning that kindness. I truly understand why you would now gravitate toward pieces on angels, having made a personal acquaintance with one yourself.

This piece was so beautiful and for me, not surprising. I truly believe that our lives are graced by angels in abundance, beyond the personal messenger assigned just to us. One of my favorite Bible passages is this...

Hebrews 13:2 Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.

I can see that though you have faced many challenges in your life, you have grasped the richest blessings for they are always internal vs. external. Beauty shines brightest from the soul, not from the skin. It takes such courage to trust God with our disappointments, even anger sometimes but He absorbs it and His answer is always simply a larger dose of love. His wisdom is eternal so you can't ostracize him because he understands our depths, and his shoulders are wide. I think angels rejoice simply because someone is trusting their souls to divine care, as you so obviously have spent a lifetime doing.

You have a beautiful gift. Your writing lifts others, just as this piece did. It was crafted in a way that I felt I shared your journey, and the promise of healing and growth supported by faith. I look forward to enjoying your lovely portfolio and return visits - to refresh and renew. Thank you for sharing such memorable pieces. I have no doubt you touch many and at the end of the day - this is the sign of a great writer.


Much love and always blessing ....

*RainbowL* Calli *RainbowR*

Click to go to the WDC Power Reviewers
2
2
Review of My Muse In Spring  
Review by Calli Seren
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Wow - I am catching up on my return reviewing and I CANNOT believe I haven't wandered your port in the past! I truly adore it when this happens; this lovely moment of discovery and complete satisfaction and of having stumbled upon art in its richest form.

I had SO much trouble selecting one piece as who you are sings off the pages and what a gorgeous soul it is. Yes you have a gift but it is obvious that gift is simply the heart of you being manifested though some divine connection that makes what you write and how you write truly touching.

This piece was so incredibly rich - I felt the life, smelled the blossoms, the loam and soil, your oneness with the creatures you shared the journey with...thank you.

But a couple of my favorite lines...

Pregnant
with anticipation and expectation

strolling
among the peaceful creatures
of contemplation,


You are amazing. This piece no less so. I hope many visit your port to be refreshed and touched. Your ability to wed the emotional to the spiritual is beautiful, rich, and consistent. I will be the first to say there is no bad expression but once in a while, there is simply exceptional - this was one of those.

Much love and always blessings...

*RainbowL* Calli *RainbowR*


Click to go to the WDC Power Reviewers
3
3
Review of Heart Shaped Box  
Review by Calli Seren
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Ida - thanks for you patience as I come out of my busy season and get back to writing - and "return" reviewing!

I enjoyed wandering through your port. You obviously dig deep and your emotions flow directly onto paper. Being more a poet than other type of writer, I appreciate someone who can so readily put pen to paper and share their deepest emotions. Crafting them into art however is the truest gift. I believe every poet has the opportunity to recognize and respect their audience. What can I bring to paper that will paint a picture, envelop my reader, and leave them with a bit of something to take with them?

I selected this piece because of the imagery. A simple box of chocolates became an analogy on life, love, vulnerability, challenge, and journeys. You managed in a few short lines to encompass much but never lost site of tying your word choices in with your theme. There was a sprinkle of a spiritualism in the final line of this verse and I think it was my favorite because of it.

But they have to be eaten

Some tastes of true love

Others the bitterness of being beaten

All candies from above


Well done - this was a "sweet treat"!*CupcakeB*

Much love and always blessings...
*RainbowL*Calli *RainbowR*

Click to go to the WDC Power Reviewers
4
4
Review of My Angel  
Review by Calli Seren
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Wow - I have now read many of your pieces and all I can say is this is yet another example of exceptional writing.

You do have a knack for suspense but you also have a gift for imbuing your pieces with emotion, heart, and pathos.

I felt the searing pain Joanne was enduring at the loss of the person she loved so deeply - and lost so senselessly. There were textures "soft duvet covers" - and descriptions that painted a picture of the exhaustion - and you wove the tale with expert precision.

Every movement was rife with adjectives and observations of surroundings. We knew how she felt through her eyes and her breathing.

This could've easily simply been a "scary" story - and it could've ended in some expected manner. It didn't. I think that is what I liked the very best.

You created a persona that we felt for and cared about. More we wanted to see her triumph and to find some reason to move forward. The loneliness that was dripping off the paper was assuaged in a supernatural and wonderfully satisfying manner.

All this done in a remarkably short piece. This is a gift - well done!


Much love and always blessings

*RainbowL* Calli *RainbowR*

** Image ID #1787886 Unavailable **
5
5
Review of Darkened Muse  
Review by Calli Seren
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Well hello again my dear JellyBaby - I'm on to day 2 of our Dozen Delights and once again selecting one of your fine Anthology pieces to review!

Ok - I must confess - I'm the poetry goddess - I don't do many story reviews and fewer yet in the horror/scary genre. Why? Because I am basically a
"chicken" and these little critters *Monster7* that pop up in these things make me shiver*Shock* !!! However I'm making an exception here! Why? Because just everyone on the panel said woo hoo - read this. (I might have to hurt them now).

I was reading along - feeling sorry for the elderly gentleman writer - borrowing from life. Using his poor flu ridden daughter as his muse - and his lovely wife as caretaker. It was REALLY quite engaging - I was really enjoying the story line- it was great. It flowed well, the dialogue (however internal) faultless and THEN...

Yes - I understand - you HAD to do it - you took that darkened path (well it is called Darkened Muse after all) - and slipped into the fantastical and Macabre. That slippery place of slashers and things that go bump in the night - ewwwww.

Ok - so you did it "really" well - you lulled me into a false sense of security (bad you) - and I didn't want to go on - but I did (aren't I brave?)*Sick*.


I won't be a spoiler but this piece grabbed on and while I should've seen it coming - I didn't and the ending Y I K E S - so for those Stephen King fans out there - well Cujo's got nothing on you - you wickedly twisted Brit!


Yes indeed - this was very excellent and this coming from "me" says something. No Twilight Zone for me tonight - my mamma cut me off years ago!

Much love and always blessings (and maybe some nice chamomile tea & my teddy bear tonight...)

*RainbowR*Calli*RainbowL*

Oh and P.S. BOO! *Ghost* - just returning the favor...








6
6
Review of Dragon Slayer  
Review by Calli Seren
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi there Blue Jellybaby!
I'm here to begin our 12 day journey through your port to fulfill your generous "Dozen Delights" bid on my package! I thought what more obvious choice could there be than this MOST excellent work you submitted to the WDC Anthology and thus was on my review list to offer appreciation and kudos for fine work*StarStruck* !

First - rhyming poetry is no easy task even in short pieces but when it is employed to create a fantasy poem in semi-epic fashion, it can fall flat in a hurry if not granted much care and technique. This one flew *Bird* and didn't touch ground until the well rounded conclusion! In fact, the moment I began reading this piece I couldn't help but recall a piece by Friedrich von Schiller called "The Fight with the Dragon". I have a weakness for the great poets of the late 17th and early 18th century who employed such time tested and imagery filled language - you might enjoy this one but here's a brief excerpt to give you feel for the analogy I'm making between your piece & his written roughly 220 years ago!

"Then from my steed I nimbly sprung,
My sharp-edged sword with vigor swung;
Yet all in vain my strokes I plied,--
I could not pierce his rock-like hide.
His tail with fury lashing round,
Sudden he bore me to the ground.
His jaws then opening fearfully,
With angry teeth he struck at me;


Ok - I wander but the point being is that "your" piece was able to bring to my mind the work of a great poet/playwright - and thus quite brilliant to my mind! Fast forward to today and we shall highlight "your" version of a bit of the "fight" -
"The dragon lunged forward with talons sharp,
Maximus dodged and found his mark.
He thrust the sword high up into the paunch,
and felt the beast stumble, fall on his haunch.
Black blood flowed a river of oil,
damping the earth, enriching the soil.
The fight was over, Maximus won,
he turned his face toward the sun"


Hmmm - no less skillfully wrought - this was a poem of thought and vision. I could feel the tension, the imagery was flawless, the tale woven to build to a satisfying climax that engaged the reader from the very first lines.


Many blessings to you and yours...
*RainbowL*Calli*RainbowR*

** Image ID #1787886 Unavailable **
7
7
Review by Calli Seren
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Kate,
I'm "multi-tasking" today! WDC Power Reviews are doing a "Birthday & Anniversary" review raid - and I am helping to judge the WDC Anthology! Thus I've decided to review some of the authors who decided to submit pieces to the Anthology on "writing". What better way to honor and recognize WDC's 12th Anniversary than to showcase the very reason this community was created and still thrives today!

Now on to your fine piece! We had many excellent submissions in the category of "Writer's Writing" and this stands on it's own merits.

This piece was simply a joy. While writer's will often write about the torture (we've all been there) of finding the perfect phrase, lost sleep, deadlines, etc. - this poem was gorgeous and upbeat!

The way you married nature's images with the writer's soul and inspiration was gifted. The language was intelligent and fresh. You swept us out under the sun as it rose and created ambiance. This piece had a beautiful voice - and it sang...

"Embracing daybreak's rhapsody"
"With poet's eye the song consigned"


Just lovely...make sure to check out our wonderful auction benefiting great causes!

Blessings always to you and yours
*RainbowL*Calli*RainbowR*

A Dozen Delights Auction  [E]
Auction is over. Please Fulfill your packages. Thanks
by Maryann

This image is on share for use with it's auction.


8
8
Review of Always Autumn  
Review by Calli Seren
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Dear Iva*mae,
I'm here on behalf of the WDC Anthology and as one of the poetry division judges. I must say I had a VERY hard time deciding between this piece and other submitted
 Instincts  (E)
A love finally found, then lost.
#1794728 by Iva Lilly Durham
as both were such loving tributes.

I decided on this because the images were so lovingly portrayed. It carried such intimacy and warmth; the complete accord between two who understood and loved each other so well.

You were certainly well blessed to have been given such a love, to be able to look back and remember, and I know from your other piece - look forward as well in faith to that time and place of reunion.

I always admit it - it's difficult for me to "highlight" favorite passages as I'm frequently reviewing pieces I simply love overall. (That's the case here as well *Smile* ) Still - I always like to lay out a "tickler" for anyone reading public reviews...some morsel to make others delve into the delights I've discovered. What I found in this verse was the imagery of heaven in lovely land alive with flowers - and a couple united in faith and awe of God's wonders - and deeply in love with one another...just beautiful...

After all was placed in proper order, you opened the wine.
We touched our glasses and thanked God for another year.
We sat looking at goldenrod sway as gentle winds puffed.
Fields were gold and green as far as we could see.
Your father's beautiful land was always like heaven.


A lovely tribute dear lady - well done!

Much love and always blessings to you and yours,

*RainbowL*Calli*RainbowR*

** Image ID #1576288 Unavailable **
9
9
Review of The Empty Cradle  
Review by Calli Seren
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Of Fire Born,
I'm stopping by as one of the judges for the WDC Anthology and to Thank-You for your heartfelt submission.

Rhyming poetry is often overlooked in the freedom afforded by non-rhyming free verse and the often rampant use of poetic devices such as metaphors, personification, similes, and others- with no nod to meter or rhyme. As a poet, I have the utmost respect for the form that made Frost, Wordsworth, and even Poe legends - and a poet who can employ this age old medium well.

Your poem was formed in the simplest structure - AABB - it didn't deviate and was a classic 4 line verse through-out. What gave this piece relevance was the message; it was not delivered with "run to the dictionary" erudite language - but vibrant emotion - equally as powerful when used well.

You woke the heart, you caused the reader to empathize and feel and in the end - this is what great poetry achieves - whatever form or direction taken.

This passage was especially lovely and poignant -

Beloved babe, you saw me not, and yet I loved you so...
throughout my life ~ across each thought ~ your tiny footprints go.
From the moment I was told you slumbered deep inside,
you drew me back into life's fold and would not be denied.


This was a beautiful and skillfully rendered piece and I hope others who have suffered the loss of a child will read it for it's message and it's promise of hope.

Much love and many blessings to you and yours

*RainbowL*Calli*RainbowR*

** Image ID #1576288 Unavailable **

10
10
Review of I Am  
Review by Calli Seren
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hello Nikola,
I'm stopping by as one of the judges for the poetry division of the WDC Anthology.

There are certain pieces of poetry that simply draw you in. Perhaps it's some remarkable metaphor, some clever simile, or someone using personification to breathe life into something you wouldn't expect to exhale or sigh.

Great poetry may use devices but what it must always do is capture mood and engage the senses. This piece wove a magical union of spirituality. This early verse set a tone that was carried to a lovely conclusion:

I am one with the stars
radiant, sparkling, distant
true essence



However one defines a union with the divine, this captured this essence that is common to all who know the joy, the peace, the "oneness" - that such a connection invokes when grasped fully and with true
"true purity".

Simply lovely and beautiful work...

Many blessings to you and yours...

*RainbowL*Calli*RainbowR*

** Image ID #1576304 Unavailable **
11
11
Review by Calli Seren
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello Lovely Lady -
It is always with such pleasure that I visit you!

Today I stop by as one of the judges for the WDC Anthology and as I circle the campfire with my fellow judges, I am honored to be able to select and review a few of my favorites.*Smile*

You have a generous way of turning a phrase that has never disappointed me. Your kind and gentle soul always peek through the syllables with reassuring ease and I'm caught and enchanted.

The symbolism of the Rose is employed with skill and perfection to capture the glow of youth, passion, seduction, and ultimately recognition that beauty (at least external) - is but for a moment.

I found this verse captured the essence of the young and vibrant powerfully:

Pick me while my pollen clouds
In yellow dust before your eyes,
Enticing you, with wanton sighs,
To make me all your own.


The redemption in this piece is that beauty as deep as yours dear one is worn long after the blush falls from the rose...for "true" beauty is always worn in the soul.


Much love and always blessings to you, Lucy & all...

*RainbowL*Calli*RainbowR*

** Image ID #1576288 Unavailable **
12
12
Review of A Mermaid's Tears  
Review by Calli Seren
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Dear Bertiebrite!
I'm here reviewing your piece as one of the judges for the WDC Anthology and I must say I thoroughly enjoyed your fine work!*Delight*

This was simply a lovely piece. You wedded fantasy with the whispering lull of the sea and two gentle souls walking and taking in the mood and the moment.

I admit I'm drawn to poetry that tells a story and completes a cycle. This one did that with truly beautiful imagery. I frequently view poetry and ask the simple question if all of my senses were engaged? The answer here was a resounding yes!

I could "see" the sea glass, "smell and taste" the tang of salt in the air, I "touched" the smooth sea glass tears and "felt" the warm hand of Dave in mine, and I could almost "hear" a mermaid song against the backdrop of waves that washed the shore.

It's difficult to select a favorite verse - but this one stood out...

“Mermaid, tears? They look to be
like plain old glass smoothed out by sea.”
I saw him smile and nod his head,
“they cry when one of them is dead.
The tears then float on toward the shore
where they must stay forevermore.
A reminder that we all must pass
and life’s a treasure that does not last.”


This is indeed a "treasure" dear lady - and the treat is all ours in the reading!

Many blessings to you and yours...

*RainbowL*Calli*RainbowR*

** Image ID #1787886 Unavailable **

13
13
Review of Oh No  
Review by Calli Seren
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Yellow Rose,
I'm stopping by to return your recent and kind review of one of my pieces. I have to confess that I woke this morning in the mood for a bit of "mirth" and wasn't "I" very pleasantly surprised to find your port gave me numerous fun items to choose from!

While I was tempted by your heartfelt pieces honoring our military, and others cherished family members - even I believe a beloved pet - I couldn't resist this one!


Short and sweet - it was such a treat!*CupcakeP*
Allusion to a body part - yes I felt a giggle start*Laugh*
A lovely way to start the day - something bright to pave the way *BurstB*
So thanks again for penning this - bulls eye, laughter, ah pure bliss*Target*

Always blessings (and a few laughs don't hurt) - to you and yours...

*RainbowL*Calli*RainbowR*

** Image ID #1787886 Unavailable **

 WDC Anthology Pre-order/Order  (E)
Pre-order/Order for the FIRST EVER WDC Anthology now underway!
#1877259 by Fyn
14
14
Review of Whisper  
Review by Calli Seren
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Jim,
I'm stopping by to return your kind review of a few days past though admittedly visiting your port is always a huge treat and one I usually save just for "me".

I selected this one because of it's undeniable grace and respect. What I mean is I too often stumble upon love poetry that "disrespects" memory, or at best denies it. What is true and good is paved over perhaps by believing the only freedom is in diminishing the magnitude of what "was" with bitterness or regret. I believe the opposite - we love for a reason and the reason is good, the best is allowed to remain alive in our hearts. Allowing the "good" to remain beside the new, the movement of life, is to honor that.

As a Christian of deep faith, the spirituality of this touched me. Perhaps no verse more deeply than the concluding one:

So I’ll live my life and know I’m not alone,
She’s with me forever, I’m never on my own.
And when I die we’ll meet once more
Forever together, our spirits will soar.


This is so filled with hope. The promise of a return to a time when 2 hearts weren't interrupted and the purity that was once known is allowed to fly free again. I adored this.

You have a gift - thank you "again" for sharing it.

Much love and always blessings,
*RainbowL*Calli*RainbowR*

** Image ID #1787886 Unavailable **

 WDC Anthology Pre-order/Order  (E)
Pre-order/Order for the FIRST EVER WDC Anthology now underway!
#1877259 by Fyn
15
15
Review of Down On the Farm  
Review by Calli Seren
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Dave,
I'm on a WDC Power Reviewers "non-fiction" Raid and stumbled upon your port and this piece. I really ADORE these raids because this happens EVERY single time! I find myself going - who knew this author was out there?

What I loved about this piece of poetry was how vivid it was. It's funny, while its a rhyming scheme - I sort of forgot that it was. That's actually a great compliment because absolutely nothing felt forced.

It's hard to pen rhyming poetry that doesn't feel "contrived" - I should know since I'm primarily a poet. I struggle to find the perfect word that isn't obviously "searched for". Nothing here felt that way.

This was simply a "great" story told in verse. From the arrival "back home" on the farm and the comparisons to city life; you engaged all the senses at every turn. I tasted the biscuits and gravy, country ham - I felt the dirt in the fields and my eyes said "ah" to the wide open spaces. I felt the rumble of the pick-up truck and heard Conway Twitty playing from an old jute box as pool balls cracked in the background.

Excellent...I truly enjoyed your work and will amble on back another time...

Blessings always to you and yours...

*RainbowL*Calli*RainbowR*

** Image ID #1787886 Unavailable **

 WDC Anthology Pre-order/Order  (E)
Pre-order/Order for the FIRST EVER WDC Anthology now underway!
#1877259 by Fyn

16
16
Review of An Image Embalmed  
Review by Calli Seren
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome Devina!
It is always such a wonderful surprise to stumble upon someone so new to our lovely family here at WDC - I see you just joined us on August 5th!

I am visiting your portfolio because I am part of a wonderful reviewing group here on WDC called Power Reviewers and we are doing a "non-fiction" review raid. (A fun thing to call doing lots of reviews around a theme!)

I couldn't help but get caught up in your memories of your childhood in India. While some of the references escaped me, your references to the great singer Lata Mangeshkar and her Bhanjans (spiritual songs)tied the story together well.

You will find WDC is global indeed and this is one of our richest blessings, that we can share diverse and beautiful cultures.

I personally was captured by your beautiful writing almost from the very first paragraph. You have a lovely and vivid way of capturing images.

Some of my favorite passages:

Weird imaginings overflowed from occasional streaks of insanity like molten lava from a volcanic eruption.. I remained for the most part wrapped in myself, insensitive to the world outside. (Excellent character development, showing mind of a 13 year old, still embroiled in themselves.)

I have heard it is a heaven with plentiful Dahivadas, Panipuris which Shyamlal the kanjoos denies us. (wonderful sense of smell & taste - (Dahi Vadas, and Pani Puris) - as the children dream & imagine a time when Shyamlal the kanjoos (scrooge/miser) cannot take these away from them.)

Bhairu and Heeera, your angelic persona has filled a vacuum in my heart. Thank you Bhairu, thank you Heeera for lifting a torch beyond the streets of Pali Hill.
(Your closing lines summed up the circle the young girl made from child to woman, recognizing value beyond what money could buy and giving respect for all dreams and people, young or old.)

Welcome again - we're gifted that you have brought such a lovely soul (yourself) to our family. Please email me any time that you have a question or would like some help finding your way here, I am always available.


Many blessings to you and yours
*RainbowL*Calli*RainbowR*

** Image ID #1787886 Unavailable **

 WDC Anthology Pre-order/Order  (E)
Pre-order/Order for the FIRST EVER WDC Anthology now underway!
#1877259 by Fyn




17
17
Review by Calli Seren
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Kenzie,
I'm stopping by as part of the WDC Power Reviewer's "Non-Fiction" Summer Raid. I stumbled upon this piece and I'm so very glad I did.

This piece brought back very fond memories for me of Mr. Rogers; I can still hear his kind voice singing "Won't you be...my neighbor?" I was nearly 9 years old when his program first aired in February of 1968. Most of my friends were "beyond" his simple and kind lessons - too old to watch "baby shows" but as I grew and babysat, I knew a safe place to share with my charges.

Later in 1990 when I gave birth to my daughter, it was reassuring to find Mr. Rogers singing the same song, donning the same sweater and shoes - and addressing topics with such gentle thought and love.

It did sadden me when he died and as your son mentioned, so little tribute was given him as celebrities of the day were hailed for drug overdoses and shattered lives with clips in the thousands, while recognition for his contributions could be counted in seconds.

Thank you for taking the time to pen something so eloquent and fitting. While your opinions were rendered clearly, you never lost sight of the reason for the piece - recognizing one of earth's angels. Beautifully done.

Many blessings to you and yours...neighbor *Smile*

*RainbowL*Calli*RainbowR*

** Image ID #1787886 Unavailable **

 WDC Anthology Pre-order/Order  (E)
Pre-order/Order for the FIRST EVER WDC Anthology now underway!
#1877259 by Fyn






18
18
Review of Southern Comfort  
Review by Calli Seren
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Thea Marie!
I'm stopping by as part of the WDC Power Reviewer's "Non-Fiction" summer raid!

I adored this bit of personal history. There are so many pearls in here I can't even begin to truly capture all the favorites but I need to highlight a few. Your gift for "painting" a picture is simply remarkable. You truly honored your Aunt Mamie, even more I wanted to borrow her- maybe bottle her and share her wisdom!*BigSmile*

Favorite lines:

She draped her large body in comfortable, shapeless, cotton sundresses that other people called tacky. Brightly splashed with busy florals, for me those dresses mirrored her disposition.

“You take what life give you, child," She would say. "And you make the best of whatever it is. Life give you a whole lot of rain, you take it and you drink it down. Least you won’t be thirsty.”

Sometimes the men in a woman's life can be a burden, but you have to decide if the burden is worth carryin’ or if it needs to be put to the side of the road so you can carry on better by yourself.

I also know how to put unnecessary burdens away from me when they keep me from carrying on better for myself.


This was such a wonderful coming of age tale. You brought us through family history with so much love and laughter, vivid images, and the big, beautiful, and wonderfully bold and wise woman, your Aunt Mamie. You shared challenges that might have broken lesser mortals, but then Aunt Mamie wouldn't have considered weathering anything without a smile.

Most of all I adore that the beautiful parts of you just shine through. Your respect for yourself, your commitment to teaching girls that respect and carrying on Aunt Mamie's legacy. You do her proud!

Much love and many blessings,

*RainbowL*Calli*RainbowR*

** Image ID #1787886 Unavailable **

 WDC Anthology Pre-order/Order  (E)
Pre-order/Order for the FIRST EVER WDC Anthology now underway!
#1877259 by Fyn



19
19
Review of Trayvon Martin  
Review by Calli Seren
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Kiya,
I'm always amazed at the pathways that WDC will lead you on if you take a moment to trust and respond. As is my habit, when someone reaches out to me in any way, I reach back with a journey into their port. What better way than this to recognize the bits of soul they've dared to bare than to acknowledge their journey. They are here, that is reason enough to celebrate.

That "I" am fortunate enough to be able to view and review is the gift back to me. I've yet again stumbled upon such rewards in wandering your port. So much spoke to me that the decision on what to highlight was difficult, but this piece needed exposure and voice. This is where "trust" comes in, and I always try to listen.

Here is what I "heard" - and may forever be etched in my mind:

Steeped knee deep in murky
Waters that swirl
With Prejudice
Hate

Forever burned into memory his final words; the haunting wails, a wounded soul

Until
We learn
That you are
Me and I am you


This is no place for a review "template"- this piece can't be broken down into sound bites and mechanics. It is the bare weeping of our hearts, the senseless bleeding that no triage can stem and the only answer lies in humanity awakening.

You captured every bit of this and I stand in awe of your talent.

Much love and always blessings to you and yours

*RainbowL*Calli*RainbowR*
 WDC Anthology Pre-order/Order  (E)
Pre-order/Order for the FIRST EVER WDC Anthology now underway!
#1877259 by Fyn


Sig for WDC Power Reviewers to share




20
20
Review by Calli Seren
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Amber,
Thanks so much for altering me that the next chapter was up! I'm thoroughly enjoying this series. Your writing is simply excellent and your style engaging. I did notice since my last review that you've given your characters a bit more description and I really think this as added a much richer dimension to your pieces. Lets take a quick tour
-

The Setting:
 A Man's Guilt, A Woman's Saving Grace  (13+)
The first chapter of a new story I just crafted. I hope you like it~
#1863128 by AmberThalinx~*
Wandering back to chapter one we're introduced to Edward Branson. A man of wealth and property living in the U.K. most likely in the mid 1800's? References to cobblestone and carriage rides, buggy drivers and tossing "crowns". Lays the framework for the story. This early u.k. setting is carried through-out.


The characters:

We're introduced to Edward Branson in chapter 1 but this chapter takes a more personalized look at this character. He begins to gain depth as a family man with his obvious affection and doting father attitudes toward his daughter. While the business "deal" is referenced, I like this deviation into his "personality" beyond that.

The Storyline:
I'm intrigued by the story of the business venture that Edward is involved in and the "gathering" of potential investors that is about to take place. While the "woman" hasn't been introduced, the thought of her has and you've provided just enough illusions to her that anyone reading this from the beginning is going to be intrigued to see where she will fit into this piece.

The Dialogue:
You write excellent dialogue. It seems to flow quite naturally and creates dynamic interactions that always give the story added dimensions without getting grandiose or verbose. It "fits" and that's a gift.

Grammar/Spelling:
First I'm going to qualify why I'm giving this 5 stars and not docking this. The entire series is exceptional and a few typos should not lessen the overall rating. So here goes -
Paragraph 3: Edward perked up at this, taking the catalouge (catalogue) silently and rifling through it until he came to a page which sported the daintiest girl's boots in fashion,
Paragraph 11: He looked like any proper and respectable busniess (business) man should
Paragraph 12:He began to think of the guests he would be recieving (receiving)in a few moments. One in particular had been hiding in the back of his mind all morning and the night before, almost taunting him with his handsome smirk and confindent (confident) manner

Final recommendations:

Here's the tricky part. You've taken on something quite difficult. This is a historical fiction piece. This means research and maintaining a tone and "truth" to the times you're writing about. Not only have you chosen a setting in the 1800's - but you've set it somewhere in the U.K. There will be a voice to your characters that is not American if you're to stay true to this. It is "gentry" and "estate" owners as well which further defines it.

In this chapter - perhaps his Secretary is a "man of affairs"? The earliest true mail order catalogues weren't available until the late 1800's (Montgomery Ward in U.S. stared the craze in 1872 and U.K. was catching up)- HOWEVER - circulars delivered in Royal Mail carriages/coaches were directed to the gentry in "your" time frame. Briefcases weren't truly popular in your time frame - there were hinged carpetbags and satchels. Sticky notes are a very modern invention, (though bits of parchment may have been used) - and illustrations were more "drawings" than polished and slick as we think of them today. Mail did exist in this time frame but it was "Royal Mail" again delivered in coaches and later by rail. Addresses as we know them today and would use the term - didn't exist, but posting correspondence for delivery to one's estate did. The numerical system of addresses came later. Sidewalks are a modern invention and didn't exist alongside cobblestone pathways until much later. So the summary of this is - keep a close watch on your time frame for consistency. Hook up with some of the U.K. authors on this site so they can help. Perhaps read some British literature penned during your time frame, it will give you absolutely accurate descriptions and depictions to work with.


Overall - again amazing - and I can't wait for the next installment!

*RainbowL*Calli*RainbowR*
"WDC Anthology Pre-order/Order

** Image ID #1787886 Unavailable **




21
21
Review by Calli Seren
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Angie,
I'm returning a review since you were kind enough to wander into my port! You have a gift for crafting a good story that keeps a reader engaged.

Character's Personality:
You aptly painted a single Mom working nights and barely getting by in the process. I knew who this story was about. She was scared but determined. There was backbone.

Character's Motivation:
Well having 3 children and being a single Mom certainly and immediately imbued her with a "reason" to want to survive her ordeal. This was carried through-out the piece and I didn't find her tone or responses inconsistent with her reactions. Good job.

Plot Structure/Development:

Creating sound and movement in a place where there is no "interactive" dialogue is a challenge. I thought your repetition of the "bar sounds" - Swoosh - Spin - Clap - and finally "bang" created an eerie ambiance and was utilized with great effect. There was plenty of suspense as she moved through the "perils" until she reached the "true" threat. Again well done.

The Conclusion:

This story was brought around logically with just enough questions to allow for a continuation of the tale. Who was the attacker?
A pinky ring, and Amy asking "How could you" - led the reader to believe she knew this person. This is a tale ripe to continue so if this was your intent, mission accomplished.

Suggestions for improvement:
First I need to add a strong disclaimer. I'm a poor dialogue writer and I stand in awe of this type of imagination, but this is what stood between the elusive 5 and the 4 I rated this. I didn't feel the structure of this piece gifted it with the clarity it deserves. I would have liked to see paragraphs and breaks. Your hook of the bar sounds would've been more suspenseful had they stood alone and ended a paragraph.

In the area of description - you are a master of "tone" but I would've liked to have "seen" more. Amy. Is she petite, tripping on short legs, were her blue eyes frozen in fear, did tiny fingers grasp the utilitarian flashlight? What of the bar itself. Did the smell of garlic hang over the "checkered" tablecloths, were the pizza boxes that which tripped her? Where the bar stools red and cracked, did the flash of light connect with faded wallpaper?

Next, the repetition of "Amy" and "she" was frequent. We knew from the first paragraph who was musing. I would've liked to have seen less references to her, and perhaps more internal dialogue from "her". Somehow I felt the impartial references of the narrator took away from the otherwise brilliant storytelling. It's hard to explain this so I'm going to submit a few paragraphs of examples.


The bar was quiet that evening as Amy locked up both the doors and started in on the pile
of dishes that were waiting for her on the counter. It was an exasperating evening with all the fights and the drama that had happened. Stopping for a minute to listen, there was nothing but the night sounds of the bar and the silence of the evening as she sighed and put the dishes in the dishwasher. There was a familiar swoosh as the cycle began and she began to wipe down counters and tables.

This was the time of evening where a petite bartender began the transition back to mother of three and her mind began to wander to the morning’s agenda of getting her eldest daughter to a doctor's appointment. She calculated in her mind the tips that she had made and she knew that she had enough to call a taxi for a ride home and again for one for her daughter's appointment. A grin spread slowly as she thought, “Yes, great tips always made the night better!”

The floor of the karaoke room was littered with popcorn and the poker machines surrounding the edges of the room, ringed with too many spilled beers. Suddenly the lights went off and there was nothing but darkness. Bright blue eyes frozen, she heard nothing but the spinning of the fans in the darkened room. Spin. Spin. Spin, with the coolers adding a light clapping in the darkness. Clap. Clap. Clap. The dishwasher’s usually familiar and friendly cycle – Swoosh. Swoosh. Swoosh, no longer felt as friendly in the darkness as she stood perfectly still, and listened.

"Hello!?!" Amy called out into the darkness. “Right! As if any crook in their right mind was going to answer back!” she scolded herself. Sighing she felt her way in the darkness back to the counter and felt under the till drawer where she knew the boss had hidden the flashlight.


Bottom line - great story - and lots of talent!

Blessings always to you and yours...

*RainbowL*Calli*RainbowR*
 WDC Anthology Pre-order/Order  (E)
Pre-order/Order for the FIRST EVER WDC Anthology now underway!
#1877259 by Fyn


** Image ID #1787886 Unavailable **



22
22
Review of Flame of Hope  
Review by Calli Seren
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This review is coming as a way to simply say "Thank you" for taking the time to judge the July Short Shots contest and give the gift of encouragement and generosity of heart.

After wandering for quite some time through your port, I selected this piece because I was drawn to the imagery, and voice.


The Tone:

This was absolutely a piece of great encouragement and love. It was about recognition of struggle, courage, tenacity, and deep commitment to another human being. We knew there was struggle, the tone was set in the opening verse:
"the darkness - desiring life - not easily put out"

Characters/Voice:
The speaker was deeply engaged with the person they chose to define. There was no confusion about who was subject and who was author here. Well done.

Poetic Tools:
The ebbing movement of a flame was a lovely choice of symbolism. It allowed the author to capture the nuances of "personality" and parallel them to the traits of the subject very effectively. The subject was far from one dimensional so we felt their "passionate side", their strength, weakness - and even their quiet reflective nature at times.
"shadows dance - flares up up - sizzling, defiant - flickers quietly"
"heat - passion - strength - will - despair"


Timing/Structure/Meter:
The irregularity of the structure was used to great effect. The indentations highlighting the pauses more effectively than commas or other devices ever would have. It forced the reader to pause, consider lists or analogies and their correlation to the lines preceding them. There was a clear beginning, middle (analysis), and concluding thought that was consistent and strengthened the piece rather than taking away from it.

Satisfaction/Overall Impression:
I responded to all facets of this poem. It was written with deep emotion that captured a human in their entirety. The repetition from the opening verse of "small but strong - not easily put out" to conclude the piece a heartfelt testament to this person's commitment to another. It said, I know you're suffering but "I" see you. I see this beautiful person of many dimensions and whether you see it or not - your flame will not go out. It may dim, it may "flicker" - but you're made of stronger "stuff" and you will prevail.

Beautifully done -

Blessings always to you and yours

*RainbowL*Calli*RainbowR*
 WDC Anthology Pre-order/Order  (E)
Pre-order/Order for the FIRST EVER WDC Anthology now underway!
#1877259 by Fyn


** Image ID #1880331 Unavailable **


23
23
Review of Holding On  
Review by Calli Seren
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
This review is coming your way simply to show appreciation for having taken the time to judge July Short Shots and in the process, dispensing warm encouragement and guidance.

Poetry is my favorite type of writing to review so after a thorough journey through your port, I selected this piece for various reasons. Mostly because I "like" giving 5's and seek out opportunities to honestly do so!
*BigSmile*


The Tone:*Check*
So often pieces about separation are rife with bitterness, anger, or regret and the all consuming tones are generally "dark" in nature. What set this apart was the wistful gentle ambiance created in the first verse citing -
"wafts, nudges, and an autumn breeze"

Characters/Voice:*Check**CheckB*
When a piece is not abstract, and generally even if it is; I am looking for definition of the characters. This was rendered clearly in the reflections of the speaker.

Poetic tools:
*Check**CheckB**CheckV*
What makes poetry something other than purely prose is the use of symbolism, sensory devices, metaphors, and similes either in combination, or alone. Your use of "dance" took us into movement beautifully, staying true to your original "tone".
"our souls intertwined - a lover’s waltz. - floating carelessly"

Timing or Meter:*Check**CheckB**CheckV**CheckR*
All poetry has a "flow". Sometimes it is jarringly broken for effect and no less valuable but regardless - good poetry employs timing effectively and with purpose. Your "breaks" and irregular verse structures mirrored the musings and pauses of the speaker going back in memory. Perfect structure would've been inconsistent to the "wafting" mood so the choice here was excellent.

Satisfaction/X Factor:*Check**CheckB**CheckV**CheckR**CheckG*
This appealed to "my" sensibilities and need for definition. The image of someone staring out a window holding letters that mattered and even yet held a place in this person's heart. The conclusion was written with pathos and beauty, as was the entire piece. These concluding phrases were some of the strongest.
"a harmony I can’t touch - memory calls endlessly to me - signature of eternal bond.

Overall a powerful and beautifully rendered piece -

Thank you for sharing it -

*RainbowL*Calli*RainbowR*
 WDC Anthology Pre-order/Order  (E)
Pre-order/Order for the FIRST EVER WDC Anthology now underway!
#1877259 by Fyn


** Image ID #1880331 Unavailable **
24
24
Review of May Angels Watch  
Review by Calli Seren
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I wandered your port and apologize for my delay in this return review but there were SO many wonderful things to linger over! The piece I selected wasn't your newest, in fact it was penned many years ago but - Oh my - I couldn't resist this gorgeous piece. It is what great poetry is all about.

Painting pictures - creating ambiance:*Beach*
May Angels watch from distant lighthouses,
May Angels fill your blue skies,
May Angels steer you into morning dew,



Your analogies were so beautifully depicted:*Bird*
May they lift you up to heaven, on their wings
May they break your falls when in too deep,
May they bear the burden of your sorrow too,


The lyricism simply flowed in perfection:*StarStruck*
May they live through your memories to keep.
May they warm you and live in your heart


You chose to rhyme but it was never contrived or forced. It flowed perfectly. The sentiment was so obviously rendered from a generous heart that one couldn't help but fall into a wonderful and safe place.

Thank you for sharing this incredible word art - I'd like to place it on a beautiful painting and hang it on my wall!*Blush*

Much appreciation and always blessings
*RainbowL*Calli*RainbowR*
 WDC Anthology Pre-order/Order  (E)
Pre-order/Order for the FIRST EVER WDC Anthology now underway!
#1877259 by Fyn


** Image ID #1787886 Unavailable **

25
25
Review by Calli Seren
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I'm stopping by your port to return the kindness you showed in reviewing my piece. The first thing I'm going to say is I'm glad I resisted my natural inclination to gravitate toward poetry and review that! I enjoyed those pieces in your port immensely HOWEVER this morsel*CupcakeB* was too tasty to resist!

CHARACTERIZATION: I found the characters nearly 100% true to their persona. I ran into a couple of inconsistencies that may have been deliberate but I'll share my thoughts. This is written first person in Kenneth's voice. His internal musings are those of someone brilliant. His language faultless - grammatically without flaw, or slang. He is obviously of very high I.Q - even gifted. Even when speaking to the children - he is "primarily" still this person.
Paragraph 13 - Kenneth speaking to Victoria - “We only have what little water we brought with us. I told you that. We have to use it sparingly. You want coffee in the morning, don’t ya?”
Paragraph 21 - Kenneth speaking to Josh - “Well, hang on. I got a better idea. Here I’ll show ya.”

The use of "ya" - I sort of get it when he is speaking to Josh, i,e. someone young and perhaps softening his usual literary lingo to reach a child. It feels inconsistent with Victoria. This seems to bounce a bit through the piece and when Kenneth waxes into slang - it sort of distracted me. That's just me...I think it's meant to be used for effect and humor so I'm undecided if it enhances or takes away so I'm just pointing it out for consideration.


DIALOGUE:
Again, excellent. There was never any confusion concerning who had the reigns in the speech department. This is a testament to your ability to develop voices that are true.


FAVORITE PARAGRAPH:
This was very difficult to single out but this one was absolutely brilliant with it's literary reference - and perfectly penned and intelligent humor.
The scene unfolded like one from Lord of the Flies The light of the fire bathed the dark wood in an eerie glow and cast hideously menacing shadows among the trees as the children, harpoons in hand, jockeyed for position around the campfire. Survival of the fittest dictated that the four-year-old would lose her marshmallow in the fray.

OVERALL IMPRESSION:
It was hilarious! It was incredibly well written and the story line was believable. In fact, as a mother and a camper on occasion - it was spot on!

WHAT DID I SPY*Binoculars*IN MY JOURNEY THROUGH?: Honestly not a great deal but if perfection is the goal - I'll point out my thoughts.
In paragraph 1 - No, this sick bastard, whomever he is, should be made to pay for his foolishness... This should really be whoever, and whom vs. who is dastardly tricky noun clause territory. Whomever signifies him + him - while whoever signifies him + he. You're speaking "singularly" - the test is here. Sick bastard is "him" - "he" should be made to pay. Without waxing into object and subject rules - that's the best I can do here*Smile*

Paragraphs 9 & 10: nature-walk - well, in honesty isn't a compound word, though many have tried to make it so since it has gained popularity as a "term".

Paragraph 38: C'mon, uncle Ken. (Capitalize Uncle, you have everywhere else as in this case it's proper name so this is obviously nothing by a typo.)

Paragraph 39: The cabin door swung on its squeeky spring (spelling: squeaky, and I'm sure nothing but the victim of rapid fire typing *Smile*

So when all was said and done I had to rate this a 5. I don't believe something this exceptionally well crafted and brilliant deserves any less regardless of a couple of typos*Blush*

I'm so glad I stumbled upon your port and look forward to repeated visits!

Always blessings to you and yours...
*RainbowL*Calli*RainbowR*

** Image ID #1787886 Unavailable **

 WDC Anthology Pre-order/Order  (E)
Pre-order/Order for the FIRST EVER WDC Anthology now underway!
#1877259 by Fyn








88 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 4 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/muse4u