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126
126
Review of Shaman's Trance  
Review by bob county
Rated: E | (4.5)


What is fair? Saint Bernard was born at the castle of Fontains,
in Burgundy. He renounced the wealth of the Burgundy vinyards
to pursue a life of piety with the monks of Citeaux.
His younger brother was left to care for their elderly parents,
"You leave me earth, and keep heaven for yourself;
do you call that fair?"
Saint Bernard's fervor and miracles kindled the splendid armies
of Christendom and defeated the infidel. The saint died in 1153.
"If you desire to enter here, leave at the threshold the body
you have brought with you from the world; here there is room
only for your soul." the saint proclaimed to those who would
follow him.+

There in is the conflict between the spiritual and worldly realm ..
Your poem is a splendid example of this dementia.
I liked the your format and stream of consciousness.
Have you tried automatic writing? Keep a dream journal.
Do not feel shame in you ID.

Keep writing!

Muzzy
127
127
Review of Number 9 1/2  
Review by bob county
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Very reflective.
Helping others is a passport to Heaven.
It allows the individual to think outside of their own means
and perhaps touch God.
Gandhi wrote ~ "To change the world, you must change yourself."

Take care,

Bob
128
128
Review of I Wonder  
Review by bob county
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Yes Angel,

There is a Santa Clause.
But, how do we prove it?
After all Santa moves from house to house at night,
while we are asleep. No security system can stop him.
How does he knows if we are naughty or nice?
By what surveillance does Santa watch us?
Is Santa human? So many different moral compasses
dwell in our multiculture .. . What is naughty or nice?
Can Santa be fair?

How can mear mortals know?

Thank you for your thoughtful prose.

Bob

129
129
Review of Payday  
Review by bob county
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Kid Dyno-might!

Well, I was visualizing Andy Tailor fishing with his boy Opie at the old creek.
But, this was more like Deliverance. .. I guess it takes all kinds.
They blow up the lake to catch fish and then their bush wacked with a flat tire..
Kind makes you want to go to the supermarket.

But, that wouldn't be sporting.

I can't find any spelling or syntax problems.
Good Job!

Muzzy
130
130
Review of Rain  
Review by bob county
Rated: ASR | (5.0)


This tomb reminded of The Dead, John Huston last film.
"The snow fell down on the righteous and sinners." the narration begins.
Unfortunately, most rain is filled with carbon acids.
Check a copy of The Fate of the Earth. It outlines the extinction of all
life by pollution and over population...
This planet Earth is an oasis in a vast universe.

You have touched a cord.

Keep writing!

Muzzy
131
131
Review by bob county
Rated: E | (5.0)
Raza Hussain Zaidi are you a woman?

You write like one. You passage through this commoner is very sensitive.
Sadly, most of us are commoners searching for prestige ..
But, we cannot change the world until we change ourselves.

This is a pleasant peasantry.

Keep writing Raza

Muzzy
132
132
Review by bob county
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Well, this feels like an Indiana Jones series.
I love those old cliff hanger flicks.
You never know what will pop up.
I recall the Vatican hid a lot of NAZI money and helped
a lot of NAZIs escape Europe after the war.
Maybe, that can be included in your yarn?

Keep Writing!

Muzzy
133
133
Review of i am a geniuss  
Review by bob county
Rated: E | (3.5)


This is an inspiring tale.
I have struggled with dyslexia and it is encouraging to
read about your success.. Nina.
The essay does need a proof read, however.
"Hiah Tech Academy"
"Each an enevy dar"
"She did this dne .. prject."
My spell check catches most of my scrambled thoughts.
But, the thrust of your essay is radiant ~ genius is earned.
If you need any more advise just drop me a letter at :

Muzzy
POBOX 821
Kittery, ME
03904-0821

Keep writing!
134
134
Review of The Cat  
Review by bob county
Rated: E | (4.0)


Tiger, tiger, in the night
what immortal hand made thee?

I like your poem of cat.
It truly is amazing to imagine
how a cuddly domestic cat came
from a man eating tiger.

Are they ever really tame ?
I don't think so ....

Keep writing!

Bob
135
135
Review of White Balloons  
Review by bob county
Rated: ASR | (3.5)


There are seven billion people living there lives.
The majority of these souls were born in the third world.
These are the people of the dust and mud.
They suffer great anguish and injustice and are ignored by the elite.
Why does God allow it?

Where is the justice in a world filled with slaves?

Your poem was thoughtful.
Keep writing.

Vertago <^>
136
136
Review by bob county
Rated: E | (3.5)


"David called the ball and the seed inside came forth." you wrote.
Is David calling on John or the creator? That was confusing.
I'm reminded of the Zen master retelling of creation to his student.
The student asked, "What does the world sit on?"
The teacher answered, "A turtle."
The student asked, "What does the turtle stand on?"
The teacher answered, "From there on it's turtles all the way."
You see the problem with linear thinking is it's finite.
If a God created the universe, then who created God?
Zen teaches that creation is an infinite circle, like the petals of a lotus flower
opening and closing.

Did I get it?

Bob
137
137
Review of Reality  
Review by bob county
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)


"If someone kicks me down a flight of stairs,
should I love them?" Friederich Hayek.
Should Charles Mason, do onto others as he
would do onto himself?
Your verse has a gift for happy tidings.
I hope to enjoy my golden years so gracefully.

Bob




















138
138
Review of Coping Methods  
Review by bob county
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)


Ants are known as "social insects" because of the way
their lives are organized selflessly and because of the way they work
together for the good of the group. In your story their is an implied betrayal. The narrator
is conflicted between acceptance of the separation with her lover
and her hatred for him. What arouses interest is the violent fantasy
the narrator leads the reader into. . The question raised is,
"Would you murder someone you love?"

It is a very effective and suspenseful tale of a woman's scorn.

Muzzy
139
139
Review of When He Holds Me  
Review by bob county
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
This is perfect. The flow of syntax is seamless.
I like the reference to cloud 9. That's an old idiom
about the 9th heaven .. In the 9th heaven you can see
all : the beginning and end of history at once.
It's also a computer application.

Any who great writing.

Muzzy
140
140
Review by bob county
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)


You dropped a y in everyone. Other than that typo the story is sound.
I like a good who done it. The Wrong Man with Henry Fonda is a classic.
Poor Uriah if he had felled a cougar , he'd have a nice coat and a tall story.
But, that's not the moral of this yarn. I wreakin it's about the injustice of justice.

Nice work,

Muzzy
141
141
Review by bob county
Rated: E | (4.5)


Sometimes I can scan a story quickly, but not this diddy.
Choices are of course limited by the evidence available ..
Perhaps, this is irrelevant to this psalm.
PERHAPS. The meaning is the passion behind the words.

A fun read.

Muzzy
142
142
Review by bob county
Rated: 13+ | (1.0)


Wow ! This is a novel.
At first I thought it was a stream of consciousness , but then it took a very structured turn.
Have you seen the movie One Came In From The Cold ?
Your tale reads like a spy thriller on crack.

Tighten up the syntax and your golden,

Muzzy
143
143
Review by bob county
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)


There are Moslem schools that train their students in martial arts
and handgun training. I wonder how the NRA feels about that?

I like your style . The use of capitalized words stresses your talking points..
If I had written about self defense , I would have included vigilante justice.
Did you know there is a law that allows juries to rule against an unjust law?
Northern courts would not enforce southern slave laws against escaped slaves.
The southern slave owners took their case to the supreme court and loss.

Did you know the constitution of the United States was declared treason by
King George of England ? John Adams and Thomas Jefferson put a clause
in the constitution that required a trial by jury , so that an unjust law could be
overthrown. .. King George was arresting Americans with unjust laws.

Just my two cents. Keep writing!

Muzzy
144
144
Review by bob county
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)


Behind your fore head is the pine needle
and behind the pine needle is the pine needle gland.
This gland is called the third eye.
It regulates your euphoria.. but is this the soul?

We are ghosts in a maze ..

Muzzy
145
145
Review of Noah's Ark  
Review by bob county
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)



I loss of a child is unmeasurable .. As I read this I thought about all
the miscarriages and childhood deaths. I cannot fathom the emptiness
a parent must endure . Then, I ponder the spiritual consequence ..
Is there a fetus ghost ? Does the Creator hold any responsibility ?
What is the purpose of the afterlife ? Perhaps Noah has been reincarnated ?

There are 35 million people in California and the public water service has stated
that they can only provide water for 40 million thirsty souls...
The global population stands at 7 billion if it reaches 10 billion the infrastructure
of the global agriculture will collapse ... Lower Africa is already suffering mass starvation ..
Perhaps, Noah is in a happier place ?

Keep Writing !

Muzzy
146
146
Review by bob county
Rated: ASR | (4.0)



This is a sweet tale of feary magic.
I can't find anything wrong with syntax or spelling.
And the tale of a mysterious gift is an old feary trick or treat.
I like the twist in the ending ... Was it all a dream?

I guess the moral of the story is don't except mysterious gifts ?
But, then again most gifts are mysterious.

Keep writing!

Muzzy
147
147
Review by bob county
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)


Kind of Vampire slayer / Da Vinchi code story.

I like it. But, please don't fall into the same old good verse evil thing.
Sometimes, life is not as simple as a rule book.

In the beginning all was empty and void... That means everything can from nothing.
First there was darkness, then light and then the world.

Have you ever thought about how evil came to exist?
Well, essentially everything is evil and good. Nature is very violent and gentle.
Do you think a cat is evil for killing a bird? My pet cat plays with the birds he catches and tears them to ribbons.

Does God will good to come from evil? You know the artist from their work.
And can there truly be supernatural beings? How do such entities interact with the physical world?
Perhaps, we are a dream , but who is the dreamer?

Can you be certain what is God's will?
Maybe, this story is conjuring evil dreams?
Possession is a very subtle process...Joanna.

I hope to see more of your story. It is tantalizing.


~~~
<^>
148
148
Review of Eve  
Review by bob county
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
The Gnostic Gospel: The Origin of the World ~

"After the day of rest, Sophia(Wisdom)sent Zoe(Life), her daughter,
who is called Eve, as an instructor to raise up Adam. When Eve saw
Adam cast down, she pitied him, and she said, "Adam, live! Rise up
upon the Earth!" Immediately her word became a deed. For when
Adam rose up, immediately he opened his eyes and saw Eve.
He said, "You will be called 'the mother of the living,' because you
are the one who gave me life."

The Secret Book of John relates a jealous God ~

"In his madness God said, 'I am a jealous God and there is no other beside me'
But, by announcing this he indicated to the angels that another God does exist;
for if there were no other one, of whom would he be jealous?"

I like your poem very much joy ..
It shows wisdom.

~~~
<^>
149
149
Review by bob county
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
There was a Zen master.

His student asked him "What does the world rest on?"

The Zen master replied , "The world sits on the back of a turtle."

The student asked again , "But, what does the turtle stand on?"

The Zen master replied , "From there on it is turtles all the way."

Sometimes we cannot know the answer, but the truth is inescapable.

Are you Zen?
150
150
Review by bob county
Rated: E | (5.0)


What is good writing?
It is whatever you want it to be.
You are the dreamer and everyone is a genius in their dreams.
Critics, who focus on spelling or syntax are unimaginative.
It's the story the matters. I like to question authority and sacred cows.
And please do not measure your stories by a publishers interest.
It is a spirit journey. Let the spirit guide you.

Bob
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