A very cute story. Great imagination, and the word pictures are excellent. No grammar issues that I could tell; I was too involved in the story. It flows nicely and is very easy to understand. And in 26 sentences at that. Bravo! Good job. Thank you for sharing. I enjoyed reading this. Keep writing.
You need to keep that keyboard! It matches your fingers so well; all these stories seem to come effortlessly. I know better, but they do appear that way. I love them; I can read one and know it will have a happy ending for someone, and it seems all will include a pet or animal. Thank you for sharing such intricate stories and bringing your talent to fruition in front of us. As you can see, my reviews are complimentary.
Such a cute story! I did read part one as well and had to finish it. Good job! I love it; it took me to a different thought. Is this through the eyes of a child? Or is this fantasy? To the child, it's very real. I love the grandmother picture you painted, exactly as a grandmother is expected to look. Her actions as well, just as a grandmother would. Good job with the action as well, wasn't too abrupt and fit in nicely. I enjoyed reading this. Thank you for sharing. Keep on writing.
A very good poem on the birthday of Captain Kirk. I picked this up through Read & Review. Nice rhyming poem with a smooth flow. I even enjoyed reading this aloud. It seems Kirk is caught up in same issue most senior are running into, the past looked so much better then the future. It so often is true when looking at it from that point of time. But the ending brings us around to not living in the past but building a future upon it. Good poem, Jay. Thanks for sharing. I really enjoyed reading this.
Such a lovely poem of those the ladies of war. Their battles were some times on the gurney table and most always life or death. They face the same dangers as the men and kept on going. I believe the ladies of war are owed as much respect as all war veternens and your poem describes this. I enjoyed reading this. Thank you for sharing. Keep on writing.
Neat free verse poem. To me, it sounds like a muse trying to be let out. We hold our creativity close to our chests sometimes. It should be shared as much as possible. The poem's form is good and guides the reader through it. The punctuation and words give the thought of 'hurry'. Like someone out of breath from running is trying to tell you to hurry, whatever it is you're doing. Good job with the emotions; brought forward very well. Thank you for sharing. Keep on writing.
Good story. Great starting line. Pulls you in from the beginning. I love the premise, but had a hard time bringing it all together. The content seems to slow down immediately. It seems like a lull in things in a place you would think should be exciting. I would bring both of these together in a Book Form. Maybe be a bit clearer on what appears to have happened. Only more than halfway through it was figured out that he did something in the past to bring on a catastrophe for her. Is she a robot? Or an Android? One of his inventions? It's not clear even by the second chapter. I believe if you solidify the storylines and show little progress through it, this has a good chance to be a very interesting story. This is just the opinion of an old man; take it or trash it, just keep writing. Thank you for sharing.
Such a heartwarming story. You wanted it perfect, and he made it that way! Many may have made the same mistake, but few ended as this. A wonderful story with a lot of insight between the two of you. Good job, I enjoyed this. Now I have to go find a piece of apple pie! Keep on writing!
Such a beautiful story with a surprise twist, even. Technically, it looked good to me; the content was spot on! I loved the story, showing how we only see parts of a life sometimes and do not really understand motives. This held my attention very well and was easy to understand. Thank you for sharing. Keep on writing.
Excellent story! Very easy to follow and understand. The picture it painted of the lonely girl named 'Happy' was perfect. I found no stand-out technical issues. With all the whitespace, I would think of this as a child's story of a child. Would look good with images. But a child's story or an adult's story, the message coming through is the same. Christ came to be our Savior. Good job with this, cause's one to think and forces the reader to answer. Thank you for sharing. Keep on writing.
I love this story. Technically, I saw no issues while reading. Nothing that would jump out and say here is a bump. The content was very clear and held my attention very well. I enjoy stories about other places and how other normal people react to everyday life. Our own sometimes hides what others would find exciting, but those living through it may find it mundane or boring. Your commute was very exciting to someone from backwoods towns as myself. The actions of the storekeeper and officer were 'icing on the cake' as far as holding interest goes. Wonderful story and good job telling it. I enjoyed this picture very much. Thank you for sharing. Keep on writing.
A beautiful, touching free verse. Brings the thought to mind that it was a relationship gone awry in some way. To see a loved one not returning the love is a hard view to live with. Not sure, but I think it is called unrequited love. The 'brown field' seems as an emotionless point, neither caring nor reacting, but overwhelming in showing what lies there. I enjoyed reading this and giving it some thought. It's a very provoking scene and reminds me of 'The Valley of Bones' from biblical scriptures. Thank you for sharing this with us. Keep on writing.
Good job! There are so many 'opposites' to follow sometimes. We miss the extremes often enough, but the simple night and day is one that pulls you back to understanding the whole concept. The word 'and' seems to eliminate any 'gray' area between and leaps from one extreme to the other. An easy, very distinguishable bridge. I enjoyed this simple, but complex thought. It caused me to think a bit more about it, which is one of the things I believe poetry should do. Make us think more. Thank you for sharing.
Excellent essay! It's very clear and to the point. Makes so much sense. An alien could be explaining the same thing to one of their siblings with changes for its culture.
Interesting story. A room full of exercising people that are meditating. They take no notice of the writer, then the writer realizes there is no sound of anything. As writers we stand the same way, often, in a story. Watching the story unfold in our minds. It held my attention very well. I see no technical issue and the content is definitely something to cause thought. Is this how we go through life? Observing only and feeling like someone else's imagination? Thank you for sharing. Keep on writing.
A beautiful poem. Solid rhyming aabb makes this very easy to read. The structure is inviting to follow it down to the end. The content was impressive, I could feel the desire and the love. It's hard to say I love you to one that is already gone but this come pretty close. It tugs at the heart and begs for us to read and understand between the line. It could have been many years or just few hours, love lost like that is tough on any soul. Good job with this. I enjoyed reading it. Keep writing.
Beautiful storytelling free verse. Easy to read and follow. Good picture drawn. The breaks seemed right and flowed nicely. I enjoyed reading this. The content was very interesting. What is ours, deep in our minds, are things we only used to progress then put away. This is the feeling I got from the whole poem. The tools in the shed were used at times we needed them. The excitement is still there as a sense of accomplishment. Thank you for sharing. I enjoyed reading this. Remember all this simply one persons opinion. Keep on writing.
A beautiful inspirational free verse. You give it all to Him and the return is always so much more. Good job using the abstract faith,hope, etc. The bits and pieces He asks of us to make a whole blessing from Him. Once we realize this, this becomes so different to look at and live. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful piece with us. I enjoyed reading and reviewing it. Keep writing.
A beautiful villanelle form! It flows very well and easy to read. Father time and sands of time. It just keeps going. Nice structure and you nailed the form! We need to pay more attention to things as time passes. We may not get the chance to see them again. A flower or a bee buzzing around. A bird hopping on a limb. These things pass by us so quickly we need to take the time to enjoy them now. Good job, this kept my interest. I enjoy reading it. Thank you for sharing. Keep writing!
Awesome story! Loved the ending. It wasn't so technical to lose me and was spaced enough to pull me through it. I noticed one typo, clime should be climb. But it didn't take away from the story and the skill that you used presenting it. The picture you painted was very clear and quite interesting. In reading it I found no technical issues and it all seemed to flow easily. I loved "What in Gods name told you to land a 737 on Route 80 at rush hour." I can see a plane flying over the top of the car that low. Would definitely clear the interstate without blowing a horn. Good job. Thank you for sharing. Keep on writing.
Love this poem, I can feel the 'wonder lust' building up. That's what Mom would call it when we get to wanting to travel and explore. Home was not enough when that would set in. Good poem, flows nicely and easy to read. Could picture standing on a mountain and looking around. Thank you for sharing. Keep writing. HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"
This is a nice little free verse poem. I feel like you are looking into my mind. Everything bouncing around it seems without rhyme or reason. Than bring it from abstract thought to physical feeling is good move. The reader can relate both ways very easily. The cage being mental or physical speaks of someone holding the writer back. But the hope is still there. Looks as if the cure is both mental and physical in this. Good job with it. It held my attention well and caused me to think beyond the words. Thank you for sharing this. Keep on writing.
A beautiful poem of Christ. His words. Since we now have columns I would put the top beautiful picture beside the words(adjust size) and the YouTube link below. The poem itself is beautiful, how often we have felt that sweet touch and hear that tender voice. Makes me feel sorry for the unbelievers, not able to experience this. Good job. Held my attention very well and what I mentioned before was only a suggestion. Its a beautiful piece as it is. Thank you for sharing. Keep on writing.
A nice free verse poem, of love and closeness. It's a good free verse, and very clear wording. The breaks are in good places and brings it to a good form. Very clear content of love for someone, the desire of close to physically feel that love. I would suggest making this rhyme a bit, it may bring out a lilt as it's said aloud. Only a suggestion, I think its a wonderful piece just as it is. I think put upon a card with roses would make this a wonderful poem for a love. Good job. Thank you for sharing! Keep writing.
Hey Sis,
Good job! You got this done and in on time. You did better than me. I never even got started, though I'll probably write one later anyway. Good plans, always plan. And you have bounced by very well from the ulcers. However, you have a lot of stressful things going on. This will cause Mr. Ulcer to rear hid ugly head again. I love all your projects and the meaning behind them. Definately a mountain of things that needs to be addressed. When you move a mountain though, remember is one rock at a time. I am so glad to see you coming on as often as you can. I understand life isn't really as easy as some folks make it out to be. Hang in there Sis, I think ya done good.
yer bro
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