For your entry, you submitted the poem, "Stained Shadows", a work of embracing the stains one bears and finding solace inside the shadows.
This is pretty deep, introspective and thought provoking in design. I like the style and feel that you expressed your work in the appropriate genres.
My favorite line is: "Others who have stains scaring their empty souls.
Loving me for my stained soul; stained beyond light's warmth.
Forever I will be one with the shadows." You really give the reader something to think about after reading your work and it is always interesting each time.
Thank you for entering your work and I wish you all the best in the new year, my friend!
For your entry, you submitted the poem, "Pigeons Snowball Fight", a fanciful prose that muses over the piegons from the zoo having a snowball fight, and two people are there to witness it. They even get involved in the snowball fight, and it turns out to be a quite amazing day.
This poem was funny and brought a smile to my face, as I am sure, to many of your readers faces'. Good job on this one.
Thanks for entering the contest and best wishes for the new year.
For your entry, you submitted your poem, "Mom and Son, About Dad", "Invalid Item" , a thoughtful prose between a mother and her son about the ideas that the son has on mirroring his life, in his father's image.
I thought that it was an introspective look, kind of in the line of aesop, that makes the reader involved in the subtle ways in which the mother redirects her son's thoughts, and makes him consider whether he would really want to follow completely in his dad's footsteps.
Very nicely done and I do think that you are a thinking person who shows it in their writing.
Good luck in the contest and best wishes for the new year.
For your entry, you submitted your poem, "Beach Scene" a lonely heart is captured by the beauty of nature and finds comfort for the soul. This work expresses some of the most beautiful life that is out on the beach, and when you add the waves, the birds, and the sky, it is just an overwhelming thought. Very lovely!
I thank you for entering the contest and wish you the best for the new year.
For your entry, you submitted your poem, "Missing in Action", a poem that is based on a family member of yours. It seems to be a poem about a brave man who rallied his men as a diversion(?) even though it cost him and them their lives. While I think it is a nice work that attempts to memorialize their efforts, it doesn't seem clear at all.
My suggestion to you is to go back and re-think why you were writing this and what you wanted to convey. I mean, I could tell that you wanted to be cynical about the final report of this man's bravery, it being conveyed quite bluntly and without feeling, and that is a start but there is more missing from this work.
I do thank you for your entry and best of wishes for the new year!
This is the third review from your winning bid in the Hummingbird auction and for this review, I had to review this piece, "In My Hands" because it is just an awesome bit of writing in acrostic style.
While I know that you had to think of the beginning letter in this acrostic, you can not tell that this was even the intent because the language of this work flows so well.
I love this line: "Hurting hands will not hold what I seek
A memory long forgotten
Never knowing" This speaks so strongly to me. It is many times what I will never know that bothers me the most, and I want to find out, even though I cannot know. Great job here, Staine!
This work really feels inspired and you throw your pain into your writing so well without sounding redundant or tiresome. Nice style.
I have not suggestions for this piece except to keep on writing.
Well, I'm off to complete the next review...see you then!
This is part of your winning (5) reviews from the Hummingbird auction, and I do thank you for being such a dear about your reviews! So, without further adieu, on to your review!
For your first review, I have chosen your thoughtful, touching poem titled, "Angels Listened", a poem based on a prompt, both in title and form, but you were able to transcend this in the content of this work. I was not fixated on the structure, but on the introspectiveness of this piece.
It is contemplative to think of the angels looking on the death and destruction of this world in horror and wonder at our turmoil. Not able to get involved, to stop us, or interfere but only comfort themselves at our shame. I liked it and it shows your style of writing off very well.
I had no suggestions for your work, except to keep on writing.
This is your fourth review from your winning bid in Fishie's Auction. For this review, I have chosen the joyous story, "Angelic Voices" an inspiring look at the people who are out in the urban battle fields, trying to help inspire the youth and give them positive choices.
A youth in the church choir calls one day to say that he won't be in to sing, and two nuns who are overseeing the youth choir go to see him, despite the dangers involved. They learn that he lost his younger brother, as retaliation, to him leaving a gang and they decide to set up some positive alternatives to help keep the youth from being out on the streets. There's struggle, resistance to this change, but in the end, the good people win, and all the kids, despite their gang affiliations, come together as one to sing and enjoy themselves.
This is a lovely, inspiring, heartwarming, if not, rose colored viewed story, but I like it. I want to believe that people can change, and that there is something real inside of us all that wants to be loved and show love, so this really made me smile.
Great work, Intuey and now I'm on to your final review...
This is part of your winning bid in "Fishie's Upgrade Auction" and you have won five reviews in either the short story/poetry categories and I have chosen to review your short story work.
For your first review, I have chosen the noir tale titled, "You Can't Leave Me!", about a relationship that has turned sour, and the woman who won't be denied the love of her life. This one really had me guessing as to how it would turn out, so I must credit you on good suspense building in this story.
It is amazing how quickly love can turn to hate or the "me-or-you" life and death decision, but you just have to wonder if love is the true motivator for the rage.
Though we didn't really get a chance to see more of this male character, one could surmise that he was a loser just based on the lack of action on his part to show any affection to the girl.
All in all, I did like the story and thought that you did a good job with it.
Well, I'd better keep on going so you will see me on the next review.
This is your third review from your winning bid in the "Big Auction For Charity" and this looks like a sweet memory indeed.
First thing I noted is that it was written in the form of Pi and you did not have any trouble with maintaining all of the correct form, and content.
Your poem, "Blackberries" is a tribute to a wonderful ritual you shared with your mom when it was time to gather the fruit from the orchard. Your mother would bring you to carry the pail, to share in a time that someday would only be a memory that no one could affect or change.
My favoriite line from this poem is: "Today, that memory stays alive,
since old bushes stand in solace without theatrics
reaching to a higher perch where misfortune can’t kill," No matter what, nothing can take this warm, loving and tender time from your grasp.
Again, I think that it is wonderful that you are able to capture so many warm times for us all to share in.
This is the second review from your winning bid in the "Big Auction For Charity". I have chosen to review, "She Said..." a poem about the painful way Alzheimers disease extracts all loved ones from memory, but never from their hearts.
This is a hard one to review, Joy because your writing is beautiful, and it is so haunting the way you describe your Mom's descent into the shadow world. To protect your emotions, you tried not to feel it too much, but she was on your mind in all things, as one cannot subtract themselves from their parents, even for the sake of preservation.
Your writing is incredible, or did I already say this? This gives me the chills, it is so good. I find myself inadequate to review your poem. Your use of mastery of the metaphorical line is scary, and I just don't know where to start. This line here: "In the torrent of blood, I cannot say if her work was finished or if it was my silence that pushed her down." Anyone who has read the Bible knows that 'it is finished' was said on the cross, there a blood and the way you link that thought process to your own poetry is very striking.
This had to be painful to write but therapuetic in the very least for you. The way that you channel your pain, your joys, your emotions into the written form is inspiring.
Well, I'd better get to your final auctinon review.
For your entry, you submitted the poem, "Little Lost Sheep", a heart touching tribute to your mother who we can see is to be admired.
Your metaphor of a lost sheep who has lost their way without her guide, your mother, is so beautiful, in a bittersweet way. Your words make the reader enter into this painful state and hold their own mothers closer to their heart.
My favorite part of this poem is: "Retaining faith I desperately strive to keep,
as I wander aimlessly like a little lost sheep.
I want her back, and cannot stop the tears,
for only she could quell my fears." I thought this was so honest and open, you reveal yourself to the reader and it only makes us feel closer to you as we read your work.
This is a haunting piece, and I thank you for sharing this with our contest. It was truly an honor to review it and I do wish you the best in the contest!
I just wanted to do another review for you since you are so new and to help get your work out there for others to see.
In your poem, "I Already Know", we read of two lovers who are so intimately connected that there is very little that the other can share without them already knowing this.
It is a sweet, cute little poem, the rhyming at times feels a bit forced for the rhymes sake, but I still thought you carried the theme throughout the entire piece.
I would sugget that you watch for spelling, capitalization and/or grammatical errors your post. These can detract from the readability of the item.
All in all, I enjoyed this piece and do wish you the best on the site.
Welcome to WDC and to help get your work out there, I would like to give you a review of your work.
Your poem, "For She Will Return to Me Again Soon", speaks of the enduring spirit of love that never dies and memories that will linger for all time.
The poem reads like an olden throwback to works from so long ago, and you can see the garden, the marble walls with ivy all along them as you read this work.
My favorite stanza is this one: "Recalling fond gardens bursting in bloom
Placed in memory above where you rest
Only then will my still heart's beats resume
Upon this mocking grave that I attest" This is just a beautiful line, and I really loved reading it.
Great work and I do look forward to reviewing more work as you put it out here on the site.
For your contest entry, you submitted your poem, "Mummy The Sky Is Falling", which speaks about the disgraceful mess that has befallen the world when it is ok for pregnant women and children to die all in the name of a holy war.
You have found your 'inspiration', if we would say this, from a time while watching a late night coverage of the conflict between Israel and Lebanon. The powerful way in which you describe, with creative tones, the ugliness that exists and is destroying the human side of the world today.
The best part of the poem to me is: "I am not a painter.
But when I see
The colour red
Flowing from the head
Of a pregnant woman
I want to dip my brush in.
And paint it on the face
Of the hideous disgrace
We call the human race." This is just a spell binding stanza that draws the reader into the pain of this situation."
I truly enjoyed reviewing your poem and I do wish you the best in the contest!
For your contest entry, you submitted the poem, "Mother", which is about a woman whom the poet feels is incredible, one of a kind and whom she would love to emulate in her own life.
While I think that it is a lovely dedication to your mother, I think that you might want to separate the stanzas, instead of running all the words together. It gives the impression that your thoughts are compressed this way, and you wrote them out in a hurry, which I am sure you did not do. This poem was borne of many years of watching a woman who you wish someday to emulate, and for that, it is a lovely way to honor her through your writing.
My favorite line is: "For all her strength
some would say she
inherits these gifts from her faith." This is the source of who she is, and it cannot be taken away. Beautiful way to say this."
All in all, nice work. Just revise the areas that I have suggested, make sure you put in proper punctuation where needed, and I think you will have this poem where it needs to be.
Thank you for entering and best wishes in the contest!
Welcome to WDC and as a welcome gift, I would love to review your thank you note to anonymous titled, "Dear Anonymous", a note of thanks to a generous benefactor who upgraded the writer's membership to their surprise and shock.
While this is a lovely tribute to a thoughtful upgrade, and the gifter is probably touched, the note is not as effective, I feel, due to some noticeable errors throughout the entire paper.
I am sure that this might have been written in the height of emotionalism but what one needs to remember is that if you are posting an item for review, that the spelling should be checked, as not to take away from a beautiful note.
The first thing that stood out is the spelling of 'anonymous', which is missing an additional n before the y in the word. The word 'can't' should have an apostrophe in it, but is missing it whenever it is used in the document. What I would suggest is utilizing the spell checker because this is a small correction to your tribute.
Best wishes in your writing and I hope to see you in the next review!
First off, welcome to the Writing.com and I hope that you are finding that your work is getting reviewed, and that you are able to mingle with others in this community.
For your poem, "Fading to grey", which is about the seasons through in the single voice of one that sees all, the life, the death, the rebirths and the changes.
I like that you do not need to use alot of words to make your voice known, and it is a beautiful thing.
This line stood out for me: "Once again to shadow those below
And protect the ones who love me so" Just like a watcher from above, full of love and warmth. Very nice.
I like your work, and hope you have more for me to review!
I appreciate your asking me to review some items from your port. I'm pretty excited to read your first poem, "A Reminder", a poem about a love you can't forget, even though everyone says it would be best for you.
I like the rhythmn of the lines and the empassioned pleas in your voice, you draw the reader into your loss-filled world.
What I liked best about your poem is the honest, open feeling of love in the spring, deeply felt, held close for all time.
Here are some of my favorite lines: "I stared at the sea,
like as though it was your deep blue eyes,
the doors to your beautiful heart.
I see a million stars,
that brightens the dark sky," This is such a lovely line, and you are creative with your words.
and this line:"As you are present, my love,
in every breath I take,
in every beat of my heart,
in every drop of my blood." He may not be physically with you, but he enveloped you so completely that he will never be far away. Wonderful work!
While reviewing your poem, I came across this typo: "With so many remainders of you,
which can never be erased,". I am sure you meant to type reminder and it is a simple fix.
For your Lighthouse Challenge for the month of November, for my fifth review, I've chosen your last poem, "01-Starry Flight", which is about a woman who meets her muse, Blue Dragon, and her life changes for good forever.
What I liked about this poem: Again, you are such a storyteller, even in your poetry and you really take the reader with you on these magical flights.
My favorite part of the poem is: "And gave such a caress-
In this forbidden fortress!
Breaking this Blue Dragons heart,
as tears in mine eyes began to start--" I love the first encounter, as the young woman meets the who will help to set her free from bondage. It's so touching and moving!
I so enjoy your writing, and this poem just shows the lyrical side of your poetry. Completely enchanting!
I just wanted to review this wonderful program that you have started called, "Celebrate W.Com's Rising Stars" because I think more people should know about it and what's the simplest way, but through a public review?
This is something that takes only a few minutes of the donator's time to help an item publically displayed, and rewarded. If you are a Preferred Author or Moderator, you would select a black case author, send their name in to Gabriella, if the person hasn't been highlighted before an item from their portfolio would be displayed in the donator's public billboard for one week. At the end, the author will receive either an merit badge/or awardicon for their work, and you've just made someone's day by helping them gain more exposure for their work.
This program can always use donations, as they or the donator will pay for the awardicon/merit badge that is given.
I'm so excited about this program and I hope more people will select a deserving black case author to give them the exposure they really need.
Keep up the great work and I'll be by with my author post haste!
Welcome to the site! I was out looking around the forum when I came across your poem, "A Message...", about the love from one heart to another.
What I liked about this prose is the movement from one line to another ; the passion one feels as the words are read, you project your feelings so well. It is so reminiscent to the poems of old where the love drips from every line, and the you blush as you think of the love that is shared.
My favorite part is : "Oh air that I breathe!
When he breathes you in,
Whisper to his heart,
The unspoken words,This is just magical and sensusal all at the same time. Love it!
You did a great job and I look forward to reading more of your work!
For your entry, you submitted your story, "Chibi Chilli", a delightfully morbid little tale of revenge served up in a bowl. First off, I'd like to commend you for sticking to the prompt, and structuring your story around the story prompt. It makes a difference when the story is being judged for clarity and other issues.
The story is about a man who has had it up to here with the double crossing, so he decides to get even with the man who wronged him. He sends him some ingredients that the man thinks will improve his own chili making, but there is a special surprise inside that changes his life forever.
What I liked about the story is that it was cleverly done, with a surprise in the chili that not only was not expected by your characters, but I would think, to the reader, as well!
I enjoyed the movement and dialogue of the story from start to finish.
While reviewing the story, I did find a spelling error but that can be easily corrected. {...experience helplessness like he himself had inflcted.} Inflicted is missing an i.
Good job, Eiric and best wishes in the contest! Results will be posted later this weekend, so please be sure to check the forum for updates.
For your submission, you entered your poem, "Every Witch has a Wart" and I must say, I found myself chuckling at your warning about the modern-day form of the witch, and I think, you are talking about the ones that can be romanced and dated.
What I thought was funny about this piece is that you've taken a subject that you could be sore over and made a comical creative poem for all of us to read. Very nice work, Eiric!
I enjoyed your poetry and I wish you all the best in the contest.
For your entry, you sumbmitted your poem, "Spaces in Between", which muses about the how the connectivity with silence, space, noise, dreams and identity. This is a pretty artsy piece of poetry and I could see how you took your ideas on a darker side, and it was quite effective.
One of the most interesting parts, to me, is here - "So Many Lost
in Surface Dreams" The tide of people just seems to flow in the same direction, aimlessly seeking the same desires as the rest. Good point!
I enjoyed your poem and wish you the best in the contest! Don't forget to check in the forum for notification of winners.
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This gives me the chills, it is so good. I find myself inadequate to review your poem. Your use of mastery of the metaphorical line is scary, and I just don't know where to start. This line here: "In the torrent of blood, I cannot say if her work was finished or if it was my silence that pushed her down." Anyone who has read the Bible knows that 'it is finished' was said on the cross, there a blood and the way you link that thought process to your own poetry is very striking. 
