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26
26
Review of Diet Dying Days  
Review by Happy Adore♥
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi AmyJo- only 2 steps behind -

This funny little poem called, "Diet Dying Days" of the times either leading up to or in the midst of a strict diet right before Thanksgiving. Oh what a struggle the diet can be, especially when we know that we will consume so much food those days of Bacchus hedonistic dining and consumption.

The struggle is real and the speaker has only one answer to quell and stay the horror of the impending dietary implosion.


Impression: This is definitely written from the perspective of one who has struggled but knows how to live another day to diet. I genuinely enjoyed reading this poem and chuckled at the cleverness of the prose.

*Heart* What I loved: It was so likeable and succinct...really a fun quick enjoyable read.


*Leafr* What needs work: Nothing in this poem needs improvement.


*Note1*Final thoughts: You are one who has fought this diet battle and maintained life though you often felt it might defeat you. Funny, keep on writing these poems and I thank you for the opportunity to read and review your writing today.


"Noticing Newbies"  [13+]


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27
27
Review by Happy Adore♥
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi SandraLynn Team Florent!


Impression: This review is for your short story, "May Introduction to Camping", and without further adieu, let's begin. *Books1*

The story appears to be the funny part of a family's camping trip with the pets, for the first time. The family is fairly large, four kids and a couple of dogs, make up those that need oversight on the trip.
It's always the dropped bowl of chili, or the mishap with the tent that make up the memories that seem to stay for all time. This story felt so hard warming and sweet that I wanted to only focus on how cute it was and not look at layout and the like. A very enjoyable story and I'll break out my favorite parts below.

*Heart* What I loved: I loved reading a story of a family outing with kids and pets that is just them being together, living their lives and that is enough to make a story. The little segue with the pets who got into trouble and Dad had to save the day with defunking the dogs made me chuckle.

*Leafr* What needs work: I enjoyed the story so much so I hate bringing up some obvious things like story layout (probably need to double space), paragraph spacing and separating the word count from the very last paragraph since it is not part of the story but that's an easy fix. Your story was great and I really enjoyed reading it today.

I hope to see more writing from you and I'll check out your port for more work. Oh, and hope you are enjoying the 22nd WDC celebrating this week! It's a festive time of year so hopefully you can have fun here with the rest of us this week.

Adore


"Noticing Newbies"  [13+]



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28
28
Review of To (Lost Love)  
Review by Happy Adore♥
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi PennMan


Impression: This poem, To (Lost Love) in memory of your mother and your relationship with her is so gently expressed in this poem that the love is shown in every word and transition.


*Heart* What I loved: I thought your poem unabashedly revealed the depth of your love, and how much you'll miss her and why she is so deeply missed. This was a very special woman and she raised a very loving person as well.

*Leafr* What needs work: Nothing here needs rework.


*Note1*Final thoughts: It takes a strong constitution to openly let others into your world and you have let us into your world, and it is one filled with love.

Thank you so much for this opportunity to rate and review your writing.♥


"Noticing Newbies"  [13+]



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29
29
Review by Happy Adore♥
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi 🌕 HuntersMoon

This review from the read and review thread and what a treasure your post Christmas poem, "Christmas is Over" is for anyone who stumbles across this work.


Impression: This poem was very beautifully laid out and structured in tightly woven yet flowing like wine that made me wish there were more to it than five paragraph lines. While your poem very pointedly described, the loss in most of our lives, this work gave me hope for more on the other side.

*Heart* What I loved: I loved ALL of this poem and only wished when I grew up as a writer like yourself, I could pen such a beautiful piece of writing and fill others hearts with joy at reading a great poem about Christmas.

*Leafr* What needs work: Ha! Really? Nothing in your poem needs anything but more lines of text, but it's absolutely perfect where you ended it.

*Note1*Final thoughts: I very much enjoyed reading and reviewing this fun and peppermint flavored bit of writing from you today. I hope you have a blast this anniversary week and thank you again for granting me the opportunity to read and review your work.

"Noticing Newbies"  [13+]


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30
30
Review by Happy Adore♥
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Wandering Thoughts


Impression: I am completing this review for your entry, "Historical Reasons For Wars Being Fought," and without further adieu, let's begin.

This work started out with asking the reader a few questions, which did tie into the theme of this month's Quotation Inspiration contest. This did show a keenness of eye in keeping the writing in step to lead the reader where you wished them to travel. I think that having a solid idea behind what you are writing is key to confidently leading your readers to the conclusion. You like to keep your work fast, no frills and what an interesting journey you took us on.

*Heart* What I loved: There was brevity to this writing that I might have seen as lax except for your deft knack for writing.


*Leafr* What needs work: There were a few places in this writing where a punctuation and space might've been useful but that was all that I saw with this work.


*Note1*Final thoughts: Really nice job with this entry. I enjoyed it for the contest today.

thank you again for your entry and I will keep an eye out for more writing from you!


"Noticing Newbies"  [13+]



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31
31
Review of Tower Moment  
Review by Happy Adore♥
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Author Ed Anderson


I am reviewing your entry, "Tower Moment", as a judge for
 
Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest  [ASR]
Use the quote provided to write a story and win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support
. Thanks for entering!


*Lightning2* Impression: For this story of a life changing event, you used the Quotation Inspiration prompt in a directive way to lead the reader on a journey that involved a deposit to his bank account which changed his life forever and enabled him to make those he wanted in his life to live fabulously. This was the stuff of fantasies but this fantasy was his and those he loved to live the way they wanted, all reservations left alone.

*Heart* What I loved: This story just took a leap and had fun with the Quotation Prompt leaving caution to the wind. And what a blast it had with it.



*Leafr* What needs work: I did not see any area that needed rework.


*Note1*Final thoughts: This story used the Quotation Prompt strongly in its direction for the contest entry and gave us a story where the questions of life were answered in way that no one saw coming.

Best wishes in the contest and I will look for future writings as well.


"Noticing Newbies"  [13+]



I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.

Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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32
32
Review of Why just me?  
Review by Happy Adore♥
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi LightinMind


I am reviewing your entry, "Why Just Me?", as a judge for
 
Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest  [ASR]
Use the quote provided to write a story and win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support
. Thanks for entering!


*Lightning2* Impression: This post apocalyptic story where there are several characters lost on a dark road, in war time, disoriented, looking for the safe place to regain their bearings, this is where we meet our main protagonist, whose mind is beset with countless questions that don't seem to have any answers, any time soon. It felt dark, it felt stuffy, and dangerous and I'm not sure if there is any positive parts but we sure do hope there is for their sake.


*Heart* What I loved: I really liked the tension that was felt throughout the writing. There weren't any sure answers but there were a load of questions and not a place to figure any of them out.


*Leafr* What needs work: I did not see any area that needed rework.


*Note1*Final thoughts: This is a solid story with dangerous situations and characters that we wish will arrive to their destination safely but we don't get many assurances of this in the story. It was tense and dank...I liked it and think others will too.

Best wishes in the contest and I will look for more of your writing.


"Noticing Newbies"  [13+]



I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.

Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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33
33
Review by Happy Adore♥
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Sumojo


I am reviewing your entry, "Koen's Story," as a judge for
 
Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest  [ASR]
Use the quote provided to write a story and win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support
. Thanks for entering!


*Lightning2* Impression: In this story built around the Quotation Inspiration story prompt, you have weaved a beautiful tale of a redemptive journey that actually has a positive and hopeful ending simply because someone stepped in to help save a life that was headed for usual dead end. We are told of a young boy called Koen whose life began on a stormy night, filled with tempest and looked as if it would crescendo on the rocks but it took a turn for hope and future. I loved the ending but will leave that for the gentle reader to see how it unfolds.

*Heart* What I loved: I love a redemptive story where the main protagonist looks as if they are finished and this is all over but something reveals itself. The thing that reveals itself provides the impetus for change. This provides the reader with a story that they can cheer with the main protagisnist and wish them a successful journey.


*Leafr* What needs work: I did not see any area that needed rework.


*Note1*Final thoughts: I truly love a story where there is a hope when most have given up on this hope and those who were entrusted with ensuring that this person makes it on the journey, well, they've stopped helping and only are looking out for themselves. I thought you did very well with this story and absolutely stuck to the story prompt with ease. Thank you again for this story!

Best wishes for the your entry and I will continue to look for more work from you.


"Noticing Newbies"  [13+]



I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.

Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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34
34
Review of Patterns  
Review by Happy Adore♥
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi debmiller1


I am reviewing your entry, "Patterns", as a judge for
 
Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest  [ASR]
Use the quote provided to write a story and win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support
. Thanks for entering!


*Lightning2* Impression: As I read your short story, I saw you really made a definite effort to use the Quotation Inspiration prompt as the basis for this story, which really helped to be the guiding light into the story development. In this story, we read of a young man, who was born with developmental problems but whose parents found a way to keep his consciousness alive in a mechanical body and he, with mankind, could travel the stars.

I love the effort with this story and the heart you put into the characters. The starkness of the main protagonist stating that if he would respond if he had a mouth or a head to nod was chilling. So much emotion in these few lines.

*Heart* What I loved: This story spoke on a family who technically "loved" their child, their only child, but this person felt unloved, and well, believed himself to not been loved by the only people he knew in this world. Outside of this sad and lonely life, this man, Eric, as he was called, loved looking at the stars and seeing the patterns in them. What a consolation he found!


*Leafr* What needs work: I did not find any area that needed further work.


*Note1*Final thoughts: This story of a redemption of sorts where the main protagonist and the world that he knows all come together in a perfect harmony was a victory of sorts and he found the patterns all come together in the end.

This story for me brought more questions than it answered but I believe that is what was warranted for keeping in line with the contest. This definitely worked in the end.

Best wishes for the contest and I will look for more work from you.


"Noticing Newbies"  [13+]


I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.

Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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35
35
Review of Time Flies  
Review by Happy Adore♥
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi PureSciFi


I am reviewing your entry, "Time Flies" as a judge for
 
Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest  [ASR]
Use the quote provided to write a story and win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support
. Thanks for entering!


*Lightning2* Impression: In this story, "Time Flies", we are introduced to some characters who help us to understand the story plot. These beings are trying to locate what has nearly eradicated most of their world by testing the "Time Fleas" to discover if there is a link. Unima and Pazzine, both Savintins, are working tirelessly to the link before they, along with everyone else is decimated from their world. I think that this story did a great job with tying in the quotation prompt into their story plot and making it a believable fit.

*Heart* What I loved: I thought it was quite clever to use the play on the words, "time flies" to "time fleas" and we could just go on from there.


*Leafr* What needs work: I did not find any area that needed work.


*Note1*Final thoughts: In recap, we read of a race of beings called the Savintins who are trying desperately to stop the spread of a virus, and they have turned to some "time fleas" which might have the traits needed to produce a cure through further research and time. Very clever piece of writing and I enjoyed reading your story.


"Noticing Newbies"  [13+]


I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.

Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
36
36
Review by Happy Adore♥
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Sumojo }


I am reviewing your entry "Reluctant Homecoming" as a judge for
 
Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest  [ASR]
Use the quote provided to write a story and win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support
. Thanks for entering!


*Lightning2* Impression: This story of a young man who left home more than ten years and sees many changes in the world that he left behind but that some of the changes, might turn out for the best for all involved. In this story, we meet Michael, who returns home only to find that he is needed in not only in the life of his family but in the life of someone he thought had moved on without him.
The movement and direction of this story is even and well paced. I thought it played up the quotation line very well.

*Heart* What I loved: I loved that though this story might have leaned too heavily on the quotation line, it developed into a very likeable story with a plotline that many readers could get into.


*Leafr* What needs work: I didn't see anything in this story that needed work.


*Note1*Final thoughts: The story was well planned and engaging, it led me to want more from this writer and to find out what, if anything, develops further in the life of this character and his family in Australia.


"Noticing Newbies"  [13+]


I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.

Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
37
37
Review by Happy Adore♥
In affiliation with Circle of Sisters  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi 🌕 HuntersMoon

Good day to you! This is a sitewide review of your entry, "Memory's Winding Road", which is a poignant and lovely look at the funny and never the same route of aging. It's really a trip but let's move on to your review! *Smile*


Impression: This poem really found so much tongue in cheek humor about this journey (yes, I'm on it too) of moving into the "older" years. Indeed, much has changed around us, some for the better, like the Internet, and others, restrictions on free airwaves. Wow! I never knew, until they did, restrict what stations work on the television or on the radio! My children can scarcely process a time prior to the digital age and I, marvel, at so many changes in such a short time. However, yes, your poem struck several chords and I really loved how I engaged with its content.

*Heart* What I loved: I loved how you wrote about a subject that I found immediate relatability with.


*Leafr* What needs work: Oh, absolutely nothing in this area needs improvement. You can show so many others how to write as well.


*Note1*Final thoughts: I really enjoyed jumping in and find this poem to read and review on the review page. It is a gem of a poem and I really think it's up there in the top of the best submitted but that is just my opinion! All the best in the contest though and thank you for penning this poem.

"Noticing Newbies"  [13+]



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38
38
Review of Sekhmet's Return  
Review by Happy Adore♥
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Graham Muad'dib


I am reviewing your entry "Sekhmet's Return", as a judge for
Short Shots: Official WDC Contest  [ASR]
Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support
. Thanks for entering!


*Lightning2* Impression: I am reviewing your short story, Sekhmet’s Return, for the short story competition for this month, and without further ado, let’s begin your review. This story is the tale of four young girls who seem to be adventurous, but it appeared more bored than adventurous as they found themselves in a very bad situation from their “curiosity.” The story flow moved slow, but you kept the interest of most of your readers in the suspenseful part as they dived deeper into the abyss of trouble that it seems they never pulled themselves out of.

*Heart* What I liked: I like to find something I love with the stories I’ve read and I could only leave this one liking the flow and movement as this story wasn’t written for the reader to fall in love with the characters, though they might root for their safety, to no avail.


*Leafr* What needs work:If I had to add any part for further work, I would suggest that you might read back into your story and ensure the continuity and sentence sense is solid throughout the writing, that is all.


*Note1*Final thoughts: This story ended in a cliff hanger where the evil spirit leaves with the sister and you can only know that only horror is in store for the rest of the world. Fortunately, this is all left to conjecture as there isn't any further writing to their fate but we can only hope for a better place. Yeah, right! Well, I do wish you all the best in the writing contest and thanks for your entry.


"Noticing Newbies"  [13+]



I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.

Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
39
39
Review by Happy Adore♥
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Kåre Enga in Udon Thani


I am reviewing your entry "Orange Dawn of My Deception" as a judge for
Short Shots: Official WDC Contest  [ASR]
Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support
. Thanks for entering!


*Lightning2* Impression: I am reviewing your short story, Orange Dawn of My Deception, for the short story competition for this month, and without further ado, let’s begin your review. This story is the feels like a dream sequence that doesn’t play out the way the dreamer expected. The main protagonist has dreams of visiting Norway, corresponds with a friend in Tromso, (don’t have the keyboard for the Norwegian O) and is troubled by a deadline they don’t think they will reach prior to problems arising in the night. It really felt like a tense situation that wasn’t going to end the way they’d been planning and it I think the story really plays out a sequence of events quite well in a short space of writing.

*Heart* What I liked: For this story, I didn’t feel tied to the character too well but I did understand that feeling of loneliness, coffee that won’t keep you alert and dreams you never quite reach. I thought this was a quaint touch to add more connectivity to the story.


*Leafr* What needs work: I didn't see any areas that need rework or sentence corrections, which is a good thing. :D


*Note1*Final thoughts: As we conclude this review, I felt an abruptness to the end as the we lost the main protagonist to the orange glow that swept them away in the night, but that was necessary since they left to start a new journey beyond the stars. This was very nicely handled and interwoven into the story in a way that helped me forget that I was reading a frightening story. I do wish you all the best in the contest for this month and I do hope you keep on writing.


"Noticing Newbies"  [13+]


I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.

Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
40
40
Review of Wandering Souls  
Review by Happy Adore♥
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Wickedfugitive


I am reviewing your entry, "Wandering Souls" as a judge for
Short Shots: Official WDC Contest  [ASR]
Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support
. Thanks for entering!


*Lightning2* Impression: In this story, you present to us a world that is truly dark and full of death, and this story is engrossing as it is full of the pensive energy that this world embodies. I immediately felt for the main character who found his brother, who he thought he’d engage with, only to lose this contact and be suddenly thrust into the harsh role of Soul Collector. I thought this story was way larger than the 2000 word limit allowed for so I left it really wanting to learn more but sadly couldn’t due to the story word limit. I think you did the best with the time and space allowed for.

*Heart* What I enjoyed: What I enjoyed about this story was the effort put into it but choosing a content that really needed more development and time which gave it a more grandiose feeling with the side characters who came and left in haste from the story pages.


*Leafr* What needs work: What I thought might be helpful for this story is that if you take another stab at it in a larger word form so that the reader can understand the needful backstory development that felt a bit rushed for the story limit.

*Note1*Final thoughts: As we close this review, I just wanted to thank you for this story, though the story content is not a happy type but is necessary at the time of year it is placed in and the year it was set within. Consumption was the killer in that time period for sure!


Thank you for your entry and I do wish you the best in the story competition.


"Noticing Newbies"  [13+]



I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.

Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
41
41
Review by Happy Adore♥
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Hi dogpack:saving 4 premium: DWG


I am reviewing your entry, "ME, MY FRIEND, AND HALLOWEEN NIGHT"
as a judge for
Short Shots: Official WDC Contest  [ASR]
Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support
. Thanks for entering!


*Lightning2* Impression: In your short story entry, this story has this air of exasperation about it because the speaker doesn’t really want to leave their home on Halloween evening but because friendship is so strong, they feel that they must for friendship’s sake. This story felt kinda of funny in that sense, though the setting was not a comedy, it seemed as though some slap stick things were on the horizon. The last scene, which I will leave for the gentle reader to learn of, was this kind of slapstick that I alluded to that made this feel more lighthearted than maybe was its original intent.

*Heart* What I loved: What I enjoyed about this story was the relaxed air about the various scenes that were described yet none were calm, in actual reality, and though we learn that a friend might decide to use you for a sacrifice, it still felt silly as we run with the main character crazily back home.


*Leafr* What needs work:What I think might need more work is nothing as I didn’t see anything that needed extra punctuation or sentence sense work.


*Note1*Final thoughts:As we conclude this review, I would just want to encourage you to keep on in your writing journey, as it can go on as long as you wish it to, and I hope this character can find better friends down the road. Here’s to best wishes for the competition and thanks for your entry.


"Noticing Newbies"  [13+]


I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.

Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
42
42
Review of The Frog King  
Review by Happy Adore♥
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi DoXx, The Renegade Monkey


I am reviewing your entry, "The Frog King" as a judge for
Short Shots: Official WDC Contest  [ASR]
Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support
. Thanks for entering!


*Lightning2* Impression: For your short story entry, your story surrounds a satirical story that ties the picture prompt for the contest in your story directly, which I found clever, and then you used the idea of the Frog King and President Trump for main characters in the story. The story was suspended around locating the hidden picture in President Trump’s home and then, the call for his atonement by death, self-inflicted, to fix the pandemic that has hit the world. The premise was spotty in places but played out by the end of the story.

*Heart* What I enjoyed: What I enjoyed the most was the clever way your story integrated the picture prompt as part of the story instead of ignoring its place as the prompt for the short story creation. You get a star for that one!


*Leafr* What needs work: What I thought might need improving – Just a suggestion that you might want to go back into the story to clean up a few areas where there was lack of capital letters used and or punctuation in the story. It’s not a major fix; only minor but good effort overall.


*Note1*Final thoughts: As we reach the conclusion of this review, I want to say that mostly you used the photo prompt cleverly in the story and integrated it to make it a major part of the storyline, and this worked very solid for your entry. Definitely want to wish you the best in the competition and thank you for your entry.


"Noticing Newbies"  [13+]


I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.

Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
43
43
Review of The Rising  
Review by Happy Adore♥
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Espero


I am reviewing your entry, "The Rising" as a judge for
Short Shots: Official WDC Contest  [ASR]
Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support
. Thanks for entering!

*Lightning2* Impression: In this story of a young man called Bruce whose life changes one afternoon and sets him on the course of an adventure of his lifetime. This story rang so true because you can have this one encounter that impacts your life in such a strong way that things change, and you change with them. This is the story of Bruce who saves the life of a voodoo Priestess and he no longer is the same quiet, unassuming man he once was. This story was very solidly written and keeps the reader interested until the ending, where they hope for more of this story.

*Heart* What I loved: What I enjoyed from this story is how this encounter the main character Bruce adjusts his life forever, and it isn’t a negative change but a strongly positive one. This was a very good touch for this story.



*Leafr* What needs work: What needs work – I did not see anything that needed punctuation or sentence sense correction in this story which is a plus for you.


*Note1*Final thoughts: As we conclude this review, I am so pleased to have completed a review of your work and left it feeling positive about the words I’ve read and the interaction from this solid and concise story. I wish you all the best in the competition and I do hope you keep on writing!


"Noticing Newbies"  [13+]



I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.

Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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44
Review of Magrev's Mistake  
Review by Happy Adore♥
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Beholden


I am reviewing your entry, "Magrev's Mistake" as a judge for
Short Shots: Official WDC Contest  [ASR]
Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support
. Thanks for entering!


*Lightning2* Impression: This short story of a mage who allows himself to be buried many ages ago only to be reborn in a later time with an ancient orb of power that he would wield along with the aid of his trusted servants, backfires due to time and nuclear destruction. What should have turned out well, backfires as this powerful mage is upstaged by a nuclear explosion in the area he was buried within, that contaminates all of the fresh water for hundreds of miles around. This was a clever little story and brought a backwards grin to my face.

*Heart* What I enjoyed: I tend to enjoy when a writer uses the tools they are given in a clever way and this is what happened in this story. This keeps the writing interesting for the reader to continue engagement in the story and characters.


*Leafr* What needs work: Nothing needs work from what I have read.


*Note1*Final thoughts: As we conclude this review, we must revisit the mistake this ancient mage made so many centuries prior never calculating for a nuclear accident, as this kind of power was outside of his thinking to calculate it occuring. Ah! Well, hope things turn out for Magrev and I do wish you the best in the competition.


"Noticing Newbies"  [13+]


I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.

Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
45
45
Review by Happy Adore♥
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Kotaro


I am reviewing your entry, "Halloween Battle in Shibuya" as a judge for
Short Shots: Official WDC Contest  [ASR]
Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support
. Thanks for entering!


*Lightning2* Impression: In this short story, there is a being who can transform himself into Ty Cobb and baseball player are used in these battles against the alien forces, which is a clever use of utilizing well known names to imprint on ones mind when you appear to end their life force. Some of the names were a bit unfamiliar, forgive my ignorance but I thought this was a very nicely handled story for this entry.

*Heart* What I loved: What I enjoyed from this entry was the clever use of a baseball player as the “cover” disguise when you appear to rid the space of the alien forces.


*Leafr* What needs rework – Nothing needed correction.


*Note1*Final thoughts: As we conclude this review, I find myself smiling at the story telling from this story that made it so enjoyable of a read. I love reading good writing and this qualifies as that in my book. Thank you so much for your entry and best wishes in the competition.

"Noticing Newbies"  [13+]



I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.

Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

Image #611986 over display limit. -?-
Logo for Writing.Com Moderators - small.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
46
46
Review of Nightmares  
Review by Happy Adore♥
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi THANKful Sonali LOVES DAD


I am reviewing your entry, "Nightmares" as a judge for
Short Shots: Official WDC Contest  [ASR]
Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support
. Thanks for entering!


*Lightning2* Impression: For your short story, you wrote the story to tie into the picture prompt in a very solid way that it wasn't an afterthought but one that worked as something that some of your story's characters found "disturbing" to the point that they stated they would have nightmares from seeing it. I do applaud the cleverness of utilizing it so heavily, and not disregarding it or not even mentioning it at all. I thought the story moved very well and the you created character's who were interesting and solid from beginning to end. Great work with this story.

*Heart* What I enjoyed: I thought that the use of the photo prompt was cleverly integrated so that it didn't feel forced, but a solid tool for the story's structure.


*Leafr* What needs work: Nothing needs work.


*Note1*Final thoughts: As we conclude this review, I must give your story a nod for the work put into the character development and for the organizational structure to work with the photo prompt both at the beginning and the end of the story. It was nicely woven into the the seams and it solidified it. Thank you for your entry and I do wish you the best in the competition.


"Noticing Newbies"  [13+]



I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.

Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

Image #611986 over display limit. -?-
Logo for Writing.Com Moderators - small.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
47
47
Review by Happy Adore♥
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Anna Marie Carlson


I am reviewing your entry, "Halloween Day, The Cat Inside the Moon, as a judge for
Short Shots: Official WDC Contest  [ASR]
Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support
. Thanks for entering!


*Lightning2* Impression: Your short story is a celebration of those things that can still bring happiness on the fictional Planet U, a place where all things you can think of that are happy, bright peaceful, all animals live together and exist (along with the humans) on Planet U. Planet Earth is full of pain, and most want to escape this place but seek this wonderful place in spite of the pain that is so prevalent in the world today. The children (and grown-up ones, too) can play dress-up and forget the pain of their existence on one evening. This story is a great synopsis of this reality and you so wonderfully captured this with this tale.

*Heart* What I enjoyed: I thought this story did an excellent job of capturing this on this fictional planet U which sounds delightful if only we can get there.

*Leafr* What needs work: Nothing needs work.


*Note1*Final thoughts: What a lovely idea of this place on Planet U, forever Halloween day, where dressup is all the time, the black cat is in a safe space, and other animals too. I think your story was speaking of a broader subject but it was good that you stepped in this area for discussion. Thank you for your entry and best wishes in the competition.


"Noticing Newbies"  [13+]


I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.

Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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Logo for Writing.Com Moderators - small.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
48
48
Review by Happy Adore♥
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Quick-Quill


I am reviewing your entry, "The Wizard's Letter", as a judge for
Short Shots: Official WDC Contest  [ASR]
Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support
. Thanks for entering!


*Lightning2* Impression: For your short story, we are treated to a wizard traveling by plane with an important letter, one that might ultimately get him or whomever hands it falls into, killed. We meet the main protagonist, David Stout, and he runs into a fellow traveler, Randy, as he proceeds to travel with an important letter that needs delivering. I love the setup and story telling involved with these characters, and hope they are part of a bigger universe than what is shown here.

*Heart* What I enjoyed: I thought this story moved along with a smoothness and deftness of a masterful writing hand. it is always a pleasure to read this type of writing.


*Leafr* What needs work: Nothing needs work.


*Note1*Final thoughts: As we conclude this review, there are so many glowing remarks I want to make about your story but save them and simply say that I am glad that you submitted your writing for the competition. I do wish you all the best and thank you for your entry.


"Noticing Newbies"  [13+]



I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.

Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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Logo for Writing.Com Moderators - small.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
49
49
Review by Happy Adore♥
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Roari ∞


I am reviewing your entry, "Blind Revenge" as a judge for
Short Shots: Official WDC Contest  [ASR]
Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support
. Thanks for entering!


*Lightning2* Impression: For your short story, you have taken a tremendous time in history and young characters as your story content and what a tale you wove with them in tow. The characters are snatched from their lives and thrown into a different time in history with no family or funds to help them along. Life will be so hard, and yet, death evades them. The eldest vows revenge on the being who shattered their lives, and this is the story structure as it provides the back drop for a raw tale.

*Heart* What I enjoyed: This story was not the enjoyable type but I could relish a bit of satisfaction at the being getting his just desserts by the end.


*Leafr* What needs work: Nothing needs work.


*Note1*Final thoughts: As we conclude this review, what a powerful fantasy with solid characters and storytelling that is outstanding. I cannot tell you how much I love reading good edited writing and this story is pristine. I do hope you continue to share your writing with us and best wishes for the competition.


"Noticing Newbies"  [13+]



I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.

Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

Image #611986 over display limit. -?-
Logo for Writing.Com Moderators - small.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
50
50
Review by Happy Adore♥
In affiliation with Circle of Sisters  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi THANKful Sonali LOVES DAD


I am reviewing your entry as a judge for
Journey Through Genres: Official Contest  [E]
Write a short story in the given genre to win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support
. Thanks for entering!


*Lightning2* Impression: For your fan based fiction short story piece you chose the world of Hogwarts and J.K. Rowling for your story base. In your short story, "Jeeves at Hogwarts", where Jeeves decides to have it out with the House Elves of Hogwarts but this turns bad for all party's involved. While Hermione is busily examining a parchment, this all begins and it doesn't stop until someone is shrunk and turned into an insect to be squashed.

*Heart* What I loved: I am not that familiar with Harry Potter's world but as a reader I can appreciate it in all of its mystery and beauty. It was a fun and interesting story and I am able to follow from a few readings I've conducted from years past, so that helps.

*Leafr* What needs work: Nothing in the story needs work.


*Note1*Final thoughts: The Jeeves character is a funny character that you can have do a variety of fun tasks as shown in your short story entry and that is what made the story so delightful, to me, was your choice of protagonist in your story choice.

I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.

Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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