I saw your request for review. Please know that this is only my opinion and that I giveit with the utmost respect for your work.
Summary: What a great piece of work...how personal and uplifting. To expand upon your list of favorite things had me thinking of what my own favorite things are and to start my own list. This is an inspirational piece of writing....I can also sense the gratitude you've found in between the lines....and how you can celebrate the person you are.
Suggestions: None. I think this is great work. You have written and edited with care.
Overall: I can't wait to read more of your work. I am inspired by this piece.
I saw your request for review. Please know that this is only my opinion and that I give it with the utmost respect for your work.
Summary: Quick action....lots of movement and excitement. I like the title...it drew my attention so that I was curious about the story. Your description of the battle was stormy...the attacks moving along quicly and efficiently.
Suggestions: I would have liked to see the names of the wizards rather than you refer to them as red and black figures. I would have related better to the characters had they been named....it would have been less confusing wondering who was who? I would also separate the sentences more rather than have one long sentence with commas.
EX: A hooded man dressed in flowing red robes, glances up and down the dirt track, he spots his opponent.
Could be: A hooded man dressed in flowing red robes turns. He glances up and down the dirt track and he spots his opponent.
Overall: A good story with action, excitement and fire. I enjoyed reading it and can't wait to read it again once the revisions are done.
I saw your request for review. Please know that this is only my opinion and that I give it with the utmost respect for your work.
Summary: An interesting and somewhat sad story that is so true to life it is almost scary. How many young girls starve themselves for that perfect body...or what they perceive to be perfect. How you expressed your main character measuring herself against models in magazines was fitting and crucial to this work. The title was fitting...considering the nature of this work. I especially liked the ending....proof of the real disease that affect so many women and men.
Suggestions:
Lardass. (I believe this should be two words)
Always picked last for team sports, she could never run fast enough, never get a basket, never do anything right ( I would reword this to : (She was always picked last for team sports. She could never run fast enough. She could never sink the basket. She could never do anything right.) Perhaps its just me...but I find this a little cleaner and less run-on.
She had two weeks. (This is an incomplete sentence)
the dj yammering ( Ibelieve D.J. should be capitalized.)
Lastly, I would separate the paragraphs with a double space between the way you did the first paragraph. The one long group is almost too much on the reader.
Overall: I liked this story very much. Your grasp on such a painful subject is a credit to the sensitivity of this issue. I can't wait to read more of your work.
I came across your poem. Please know that this is only my opinion and that I give it with the utmost respect for your work.
Impression: Sad, happy, gratitude, passion. These were all the emotions that this short poem created for me. I loved the title, We Danced. How fitting for this work. What a love story in so few lines!
Suggestions: None. This is a tender and perfect piece. It flowed easily and created a plethora of emotions for me.
I saw your request for review. Please know that this is only my opinion and that I give it with the utmost respect for your work.
Impression: Fun, fast and a time of childhood innocence. (sp?) It made me smile and I could just envision riding in that car with the characters. The tempo kept this poem quick and lively.
Suggestions: But I knew enough to wander (recheck this sentence. Did you mean wonder?)
I saw your request for review. Please know that this is only my opinion and I give it with the utmost respect for your work.
Impression: Chuckle, chuckle, chuckle. What a quick and witty piece. So like people to judge with out knowing the person they are judging. So like some to be so righteous that they fail to recognize the flaws in themselves. A good, short and to the point story.
Suggestions: laughing a little inside I said "No, why am I going to hell?" ( Laughing should be capitalized)
later I wrote this: (Later should be capitalized.)
I saw your request for review. Please remember that this is only my opinion and that I give it with the utmost respect for your work.
Impression: I like the message of this poem. It is full of inspiration and hope. I especially liked the first two lines of this poem...it set the uplifting tone for the rest.
Suggestions: I would like to see you edit this piece as there are many misspelled words and typos, grammatical errors that detract the reader from the beautiful message you are trying to convey.
Overall: It is an inspiring, uplifting piece and with a little more work, it will be fantastic. I'd love to see it again after it has been reworked.
I saw your request for review. Please know that this is only my opinion and that I give it with the utmost respect for your work.
Impression: I find that this work is helpful and informative. It gives guidelines to work with that will improve the writers skills in writing, reviewing and editing. I will use these rules/suggestions in my own writing as I am one who finds that I tend to forget the rules while I am writing and then have to clean up and look up the rules when I am editing my own work. You give clear and concise examples, provide simple explanations and provide further resources for anyone wanting more in-depth information.
I saw your request for review. Please remember that this is only my opinion and I give it with the utmost respect for your work.
Impression: Sadness, hopeless, despair, defeat???? Wow, this is one sad piece. I like though the way you have worked through what you see as Life/pain. It is a difficult subject to write about and with so much self-help guru's telling us we should always be happy....always be positive.....always be. Why can't we just feel our misery and let it work through us? Your short piece brings out a lot of questions, as it should.
Suggestions: Formatting should be double spaced to make it easier on the reader.
Overall: A painful piece but good in its truth for the writer.
I saw your request for review. Please remember that this is only my opinion and that I give it with the utmost respect for your work.
Overall Impression: I enjoyed this story...it is well written. Sensual with out being vulgar. Gentle eroticism...you make the mind and the imagination have to work.....great job.
Plot: O.K.
Style and Voice: Good
Scene/Setting: Very descriptive scenes and setting. Easy for reader to visualize the characters and scenes.
Characters: Clean, well described characters
Dialog: Easy flow...quick moving
Grammar and Mechanics: N/A
Suggestions: None, it is great as it is.
Thank you for sharing this story with me. I enjoyed it very much. Write on and write happily.
I saw your request for review. Please remember that this is only my opinion and that I give it with the utmost respect for your work.
Overall Impression: I enjoyed this story...it is well written. Wow! Way creepy. Lots of suspense, great descriptive sentences and fast moving story. Full of emotion, on his and her part.
Plot: O.K.
Style and Voice: Good
Scene/Setting: Very descriptive scenes and setting. Easy for reader to visualize the characters and scenes.
Characters: Clean, well described characters
Dialog: Easy flow...quick moving
Grammar and Mechanics: N/A
Suggestions: None, it is great as it is.
Thank you for sharing this story with me. I enjoyed it very much. Write on and write happily.
I saw your request for review. Please remember that this is only my opinion and that I give it with the utmost respect for your work.
Overall Impression: I enjoyed this story...it is well written. I can feel the emotions, doubt, fear, frustration, love. The agony of being in a relationship with someone you know is not going to change.....
Plot: O.K.
Style and Voice: Good
Scene/Setting: Very descriptive scenes and setting. Easy for reader to visualize the characters and scenes.
Characters: Clean, well described characters
Dialog: Easy flow...quick moving
Grammar and Mechanics: N/A
Suggestions: Check spelling as I found an error or two. Nothing that would detract from the story.
Thank you for sharing this story with me. I enjoyed it very much. Write on and write happily.
I saw your request for review. Please remember that this is only my opinion and that I give it with the utmost respect for your work.
Impression: Comic, grisly, suspense, disgusting.....a story filled with all the great elements of an interesting and entertaining piece. I especially liked the ending...how gluttonous this man and he got his just dessert? Very good.
Flow: Quick tempo and easy to read.
Suggestions: A couple of spelling errors..
Overall: I enjoyed reading this short story. It had a great beg, middle and fantastic ending. I can't wait to read more from you.
I saw your request for review. Please remember that this is only my opinion and that I give it with the utmost respect for your work.
Impression: A very well written piece with vital information for the general public.
Flow: Good
Suggestions: None
Overall: I think this piece is very informative and well researched. I find though that on a more personal note, I would like to see you add in more research on raw milk vs the milk we drink today(processed) and I'd be curious to see your findings. I am a student of Whole Foods Nutrition.....so I have alternate views of what we call nutritious foods/beverages of today.
I saw your request for review. Please remember that this is only my opinion and that I give it with the utmost respect for your work.
Impression: I love how you based this sad tale on the Cats Eye View. It made for an interesting read. For such a tragic subject, I found myself interestingly immersed in the story. I especially loved the last line. Thier is hope for mankind....a slice of sunshine in the darkness of our human actions.
Flow: Perfect. The story flowed and moved along quickly. The dialogue clear and focused.
I saw your request for review. Please remember that this is only my opinion and I give it with the utmost respect for your work.
Impression: I liked this story very much....I was completely surprised as to where it had gone...I started out reading it thinking it was a story of a tragic accident and found to my delight that it was so much more. Great job with this.
I saw your request for review. Please remember that this is only my opinion and that I give it with the utmost respect for your work.
Impression: I can see it now.....the hell raising, the stunts and the rowdy companions. You did a wonderful job with this poem and I enjoyed every minute of reading it.:) It brought a smile to my face.
Flow: Great flow...an easy read.
Suggestions: None. It is great just the way it is.
I saw your request for review. Please remember that this is only my opinion and that I give it with the utmost respect for your work.
Impression: I thought this short story was well written, interesting and the last line was extremely funny. I enjoyed reading this.
Flow: Good flow...the entire story read smoothly
Suggestions: Check formatting....double spacing is easier on the readers eyes. Check spelling; a few errors here and there. Lastly, try to avoid run on sentences. It loses the readers attention. Try shorter sentence which carry the same impact you are shooting for.
Overall: A great story....I can't wait to read more of your work.
I saw your request for review. Please remember that this is only my opinion and that I give it with the utmost respect for your work.
Impression: Congrat's! I like the tone, I like the truthfullness, I like the overall picture you paint of where you've been and where you are planning on going. I can't remember who said it but I'll quote it anyway and ask forgiveness later,
'Change is when we become so sick of being sick that it is more painful to stay the way we are than it is to change to what/where we want to be.' I think you have hit this point in your life.
Flow: Good flow, zippy and to the point.
Suggestions: Format...double spacing is easier on the reader. Spell check...I came across a few spelling errors. Proof read and you should be all set.
Overall I enjoyed reading this piece. You bravely laid out all your plans for the next year and made the decision to follow through...the decision is the hardest part.
I saw your request for review. Please remember that this is only my opinion and that I give it with the utmost respect for your work.
Impression: Great story:) I couldn't help but smirk and chuckle all the way through it. How many times have I experienced this situation with my own children. Your setting, descriptive sentences worked so well with this piece.
Flow: A good, quick flow to this story.
Suggestions: Double space format to make it easier to read.
Write on and write happily:)
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