"Game of Thrones" Hello fellow writer. My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes. Title: It's just a sneezeFirst Impression: This is entertaining and believable. Married couples can and do irritate each other, intentionally, or not. Yes, a sneeze is a natural, uncontrollable reflex. We all sneeze sooner, or later. It can however be annoying. My husband tends to sneeze several times consecutively and never just a lone, single one. That noise is bearable. The blowing of his nose is something else. I refer to it as the goose call. Good for this wife sticking around and taping the noise level of her spouse's sneeze. He somehow does not hear its intensity and/or ignores it. What needs your attention: "It was sneeze, that was it." I believe the word 'a' is missing before the word sneeze. When Renee describes the terrible pain of hearing Robert's sneezes perhaps you could refrain from repeating "my ears" twice in the same sentence. May I suggest you simply write "them" for the second set. What part I liked best: I enjoyed the repartee between this couple. It is humorous and believable. The action of a cold shoulder as a rebuff also is a reality. The husband believing his wife is unreasonably shunning him rings true. He is sensitive to her reactions, but does not consider her reasoning. She sticks around to tape his explosive, high-pitched, natural function. To hear the truth is revealing. It is undeniable proof. I love this line." You know, you could break the sound barrier with that high-pitched sneeze you got going on."Overall Impression> This little slice of marital bliss is amusing. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure. What does the fox say??? Listen carefully.(1815 characters) DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hello fellow writer. My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes. Title: Buggers the Cat First Impression: This is a cute story. So, this is a typical campfire creative. You started the story ball rolling and then other writers joined in with their contributions. Each addition further highlights the adventures of Buggers, the cat. The sidelines, the tangents are random and funny. The exploits are only limited by imagination, aren't they? Until you ended it this story had the potential to carry on indefinitely. Each little bit resembled the vague ramblings of a feline. What part needs your attention: Once you unleash this there's not much you can control other than the beginning and the end. You can contribute your creative thoughts, but then other writers continue with their own ideas. You cannot correct their spelling, or grammar. This exercise is to stoke creativity and I suppose free form writing. "Scrambling to his feet, Buggers took one last jest at Fido..." Jest?? Swipe? Peek? Jeer? a jest is a joke, not a verb. Is this a typo, or autocorrect? What part I liked best: I like your introduction. "Light hearted and silly is good." Yes, not all writing need be serious. The storyline rambled everywhere and Buggers lived many of his nine lives with his various escapades. The spontaneity is fun and the surprises prove entertaining. If only it were true that Buggers would amend his explorations and wanderings in favour of staying home where he is safe. Perhaps there will be a sequel? Does Buggers wander off again? felines are the perfect animals for this kind of story-telling. Overall Impression: This story chain proved to be amusing and somewhat believable. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure. What does the fox say??? Listen carefully.(1905 characters) DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hello fellow writer. My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes. Title: The Whatever ContestFirst Impression: This was an impressive contest to create and promote. The prompt to write with the number twenty-two in mind is intended as a WDC birthday celebration. That magic number makes for short poetry, or short stories. It may seen like an easy assignment, but sometimes being brief is difficult. Each word matters and must do double duty. I imagine run-on sentences would be discouraged. What needs you attention: I cannot think of anything to suggest. I have never hosted a writing contest here at WDC, or anywhere. What part I liked best: You have created a clear format here. The rules and expectations are not difficult to understand. They are concise. I like that you inform any entrants their offerings could potentially be judged at The Quills level. That is an encouragement. You promote that contest as well. You explain that any writer may nominate a piece of writing to The Quills. You remind others that it still exists. I appreciate that posting links are provided. Half the battle is knowing the how and the where at this site. Newbies aside there is always a first time, isn't there? Given the opportunity to read past prompts, past entries and note what past winners did gives other writers a confidence boost. This also provides new reading and reviewing material. This page is user friendly with highlighted links. Just click and the rest happens. "Judging will be completed...eventually." Hey, you are transparent and honest. Plus you hint that the judging will not be hasty.Overall Impression: This is a great contest. I appreciate that you invested a lot of your energy and enthusiasm to it. Thank yo for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure. What does the fox say??? Listen carefully.(1938 characters)DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hello fellow writer. My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes.Title: No Dialogue Contest First Impression: This presents an interesting challenge. Writers are prompted to write without any dialogue whatsoever in their pieces. So often, we concentrate upon speech because it defines who we are and what we say and do. Speaking is our main form of communication. We speak when we share oral stories. The creator also states that the entries must be short stories with a maximum word count of seven hundred. No poetry is accepted or anticipated. This would be an intriguing challenge.What needs your attention: I cannot think of anything to suggest for improvements. I have never created and/or hosted a contest. The ones I have entered I accept the stated rules and comply.What part I liked best: The contest specifications are explained succinctly and easy to comprehend. The idea of no dialogue is stressed and examples are provided for edification. The expectation of short stories is emphasized and no poetry is specifically expressed. The rewards are presented in a legible manner. The creator states that spelling and grammar are judging criteria. Reviews of submitted pieces are not promised reviews. No promises are made. Even assistance with the mechanics of linking is offered. I like that any genre is acceptable. This permits the writers to expand their possible entries and perhaps stretch their imaginations. I interpret this as encouragement. No one is coerced or bullied for their entries/attempts. I also like the brief, but sunny line " Have fun." Yes, do not stress over the creative process, or the contest entering.Overall Impression: This is a fantastic contest to consider entering. What have any of us to lose? Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure. What doe the fox say??? Listen carefully.(1955 characters)DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore do no reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hello fellow writer! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes. Title: You Did That On PurposeFirst Impression: Is it any wonder many couples require or should investigate counselling? They certainly know which buttons to push. They are able to bewitch and bother each other with ease. The actual, exact, precise time is not important. The honey-do list is revealed in a series of consecutive questions that serve to delay their departure. Has one of them scored points and secured them upon an unseen scoreboard for future gloating? Ten minutes early, or whenever. What needs your attention: Nothing. I did not notice any glaring spelling errors, or awkward sentence structure. What I liked best: This dialogue, this scenario is lifelike and believable. Married couples can and do nag, nit pick, and tease. What does a mere ten minutes signify? Why can't they depart "ten minutes early"? Why does one ask all the needless questions to delay their departure? What does any of this matter in the grand scheme of things? Petty, irritating things like this occur. One partner has already been nagged to forsake television viewing. Is one of the pair laidback and the other an attention-to-detail fretter? One query proffered and a single word answer as a reply. One 'yes' after another. Who is eager to go now? Who is impatient? This is communication at its finest. The humour of the absolutely unnecessary delay made me chuckle. The lines could be spoken by either partner and it would still be funny. Overall Impression: This is a hilarious slice of married life. I appreciate the laughs. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure. What does the fox say??? Listen carefully.(1815 characters)DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hello fellow writer! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes. Title: It Was All Her FaultFirst Impression: I had to read to discover whose fault it could be. Okay, someone , the narrator, is stranded in a tree after a night of carousing. He cannot escape while a mountain lion prowls below. He considers several scenarios and settles upon lighting a fire to discourage an attack from the wild creature scoping him out. The ending is probably not a surprise. Fires can be deadly under any and all circumstances. At least the person is free of both the tree and a wild animal. He does retrieve his cell phone which is wonderful because he needs to call for firefighters. What needs your attention: I do not believe you need the word 'though' in the opening sentence. "I didn't explain where everyone went." Should it be 'it' not 'I'? I suggest dropping the word 'and'. "I searched the bag again and all my pockets. I couldn't find it." It is not 'laying." It is 'lying.' The mountain lion is lying not laying. The final set of quotation marks is missing at the end of your final sentence. I am not sure this entire story needed to be written with quotation marks. We understand who is doing all the talking. What I liked best: I appreciated the understated, subtle humour in this piece. The hero accepts he is in a dangerous predicament and he runs through various measures in his head. He decides upon a risky manoeuvre not anticipating the equally risky outcome. Burning boxers as a mountain lion deterrent is unique. I am assuming it was a successful ploy because the now unstranded speaker reminds the forest ranger he used his phone to call for help with his unintended fire. Overall Impression: This is quite the tall tale and one to share at many future get-togethers. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure. What does the fox say??? Listen carefully.(2001 characters)DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hello fellow writer! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes. Title: The Forever DreamFirst Impression: Whew! You describe quite the tumultuous dream sequence. This lives up to its simple title. The dream repeats on a continuous loop. This is definitely not the type of dream a beloved parent may wish upon a child. There's no sweetness whatsoever. What needs your attention: Nothing. I cannot suggest any edits, or corrections.What I liked best: This is a dark, terrifying, inescapable nightmare. The pace and the descriptions emphasize this. "It seemed the night itself was pressing against me like a living creature." That sets a foreboding tone and a dismal picture. The night is not inanimate, but reactionary. I have seen tress that could be categorized as 'colossus.' So much better than 'large', or 'tall'. I like the impressive verbs that describe the narrator's attempts to escape, "scuttling, scraping, hitching and humping." I can feel the struggle. "Some trees were so heavily veined with termites that the wood looked leprous." That is fantastic imagery. The first person point of view fuels this story and pitches it along especially in the turbulent water. The struggle seems real and violent. The dread builds and never ceases. The large, black font lends itself to this story's theme, too. The descriptions of the splintered and smashed trees further supports/reiterates the non-stop bleak nightmare. No matter what the subject does or doesn't do he returns to the same damaged trees and the same cold river. Repeat, react, repeat, react.Overall Impression: This is one powerful , horrific, frightening, repetitive nightmare of desperation and futility. Cue the thundering, ominous music. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure. What does the fox say??? Listen carefully.(1934 characters) DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hello fellow writer! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes.Title: A Ghostly PoemFirst Impression: This is not at all what I anticipated. The ghosts, a young boy and girl, seem to want to play and interact with the writer's children. There is no malicious , malevolent intent. They seem to be like living children, curious, active, mischievous. They are still occupying their family home. Over time the ghosts are accepted and adopted into the family of the current residents. What needs your attention: Nothing. I did not notice any obvious spelling errors and such.What part I liked best: Reading this aloud I noted the rhymes. They are pleasing to my ear and do not seem forced, or awkward. This poem relates a story. A house requiring renovations/touch-ups is discovered by a new family who move in to make it their own. Surprise, they are approached by the apparitions of former residents. There is a happy ending in which the two little ghosts are accepted and loved as if part of the existing family. I like the air of optimism radiated from the fourth stanza. "The apparitions of children in all their splendor." Yes, I know 'splendor' rhymes with 'door', but this a wonderful way of describing ghosts. The writer shows her love for wee folk, living and deceased. "So now I had two more children." Meh, the narrator seems to say. What are two more? "We lived there together and we all got along. This home sweet home is where the little tykes will always belong." This inclusion is beautiful. There is always more than enough love to go around. Overall Impression: This is a heartfelt piece of poetry exuding a mother's love and compassion. A home can be created anywhere and shelter anyone seeking its safe haven. I wonder how an illustrator would envision these two ghosts? Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure! What does the fox say??? Listen carefully.(2133 characters) DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hello fellow writer! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sky foxes.Title: Them Buttons First Impression: I like the conversational , aw shucks good ol' boy charm of this narrator. Nothing seems to disturb him. He is imperturbable. He takes things in his stride. He does not expel too much energy or thought bemoaning his abduction. What could he do but start touching the buttons and reacting to what they instigated. Even his story telling seems modest. He does not consider it boastful.What needs your attention: "Deesintigreated." I realize you are imitating a dialect here ,but could this word still be spelled as 'deesintigrated'? "Well, Miss. Beauty's jaw drops, she shakes her head, and , "poof", she's gone!" I suggest these changes. "Well Miss Beauty's jaw drops. She shakes her head. (And) Poof. She's gone!" "Saved the world from a alien invasion." Okay, the narrator has a unique way of speaking. Is the word 'an' necessary before the word 'alien'? Maybe not. "Hellishish bright light"? Are there too many 'ishes'? What part I liked best: As I already mentioned, I like the easy going way in which this abductee talks and I like his accent. It is funny that he repeatedly says "not the real..". "Not the insect." "Not a real slice." "Not real nails." "Not real straw." I love that he is not at all surprised to be attacked by a bear aboard an alien spaceship. He is also accepting of a strange, beautiful woman claiming to be pregnant with his baby. Oh well. He "wrastles" one and offers to marry the other. Hooray, mankind is now safe from invasion. He saved us all. No big deal. No sweat at all. Overall Impression: This is a delight to read. I laughed all throughout. What does the fox say??? Listen carefully. (1834 characters) DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hello fellow writer! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes. Title: Whisker's Tale First Impression: This reads well and has an engaging quality to it. The active voice of the self-professed confidante cat is appealing. Of course, he/she notices everything and is quite involved in the mistress' life. A viewpoint from a feline is fun and direct. This cat speaks its mind and does not mince words or observations. Ella's happy ever after is guaranteed and facilitated by her beloved cat. Things that need your attention: I spotted one minor faux pas and I would consider it a keyboard slip/ glitch. The final sentence needs a period at its end. No spelling errors or grammatical issues. This is written as speech from the cat. What I liked best: This feline has an attitude, but ultimately it serves Ella well. There are dashes of light-hearted humour sprinkled throughout this piece. The cat is blase about house cleanliness and only deigns to hunt rodents as sport/amusement. It objects to being hampered with a bow to spruce up its appearance. "I'm a cat, not a decoration." "I may or may not have sharpened my claws on a tapestry or two."" Another part is miffed that my prey has been turned into unappetizing equines." "I may have to find new prey to hunt in the palace." With the action and descriptions I envision the illustrations for a children's book. Of course, this cat will be a stunner, very handsome and sleek. The happy ending will appeal to children and they would be delighted with the feline narrator. Overall Impression: This is a fun story as told by a feline privy to its mistress' life. According to the cat, it ensures a happy ending for Ella and itself. They will live a new, luxurious life free of the stepmonsters. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. it has been my pleasure! What does the fox say??? Listen carefully. (1971 characters)DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hello fellow writer! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes. Title: The Whispering WillowFirst Impression: The idea of a willow tree drew me in to read this piece. This is a lovely, serene, gentle story full of the magic of hope and love. What a wonderful method of teaching. Write about a curious child listening to an ancient tree which in turn weaves a spell about a star and a sad little girl. A child could empathize with this. I envision beautiful illustrations accompanying this tale. You painted them with your imagery. What needs your attention: Nothing. I cannot see any need for corrections, or editing.What part I liked best: As I mentioned your rich imagery conjures up wonderful pictures. Imagine a sprawling, leafy, humongous willow tree. I can see the curious, open to learning child with the "wild curls and eyes like dew-kissed petals." A glimmering star visiting a lonely, sad girl in a garden presents a colourful spectacle/scene. I like the idea of compassion and the art of listening being described as " starlight". These are indeed magical properties. My favourite lines: "She whispered hope into her dreams, and Elara's heart bloomed like a forgotten flower. They laughed under moonbeams , and Althea's light grew brighter." "Pain carves space for love." Eloquent, evocative, inspiring. Enchanting wording. The final sentence is also beautiful. "Even in loss there exists there exists magic--the kind that binds stars to souls and whispers across centuries."Overall Impression: This is a fantastic, heartfelt children's story. If it were in print, I'd purchase it for my granddaughters. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure! What does the fox say??? Listen carefully. (1853 characters) DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hello fellow writer! My Name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes.title: Bobby-QFirst Impression: I laughed at the title, Bobby-Q. I anticipated this would be a story of a child describing a barbecue. Whoa, you have almost transcribed a whole other language here. This is fun to read out loud, but, of course, I could not replicate the necessary Southern accent. I do ask myself if people really do speak in this manner. Thanks for the clarification re 'onct.' I never expected to see or read that word with a pronounced, emphatic letter 't' attached to it. Yes, I will admit to hearing 'y'all spoken in movies. What needs your attention: Although you are writing with/in a dialect, I do not see any glaring errors , or need for editing. Wait a minute. Perhaps the speaker would not enunciate the letter 'd' at the end of 'told'. Might he say, "tol'?"What I liked best: I sense an exuberance, a joy in these words. The speaker possesses a great deal of vitality, a joie de vivre. He/she exudes enthusiasm. It is funny, but we hear 'bobby-q'. We also still comprehend what the speaker is sharing. I can appreciate this would all be rattled off quickly. It is an art form to slur all those words together. The speaker also clearly has fun with him or herself. I know what a "knee slapper" is. "Yer nose'll lead t'way." What a delightful yet insightful direction. I cannot argue with "I might could hep wit' dat." Colloquialism lends an enchantment to speech and you have captured it in this piece. Overall Impression: You have positively convinced me I need to travel wherever there is and sample me some delicious Bobby-Q ribs. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been a pleasure. What does the fox say??? Listen carefully.(1850 characters) DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hello fellow writer! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes.title: Mall MisadventureFirst Impression: Whew, Aunt Marcy had to embrace her inner superwoman capabilities for her niece and nephew. She endured and survived one action-packed trip to the mall. Spending time with young children requires stamina, ingenuity and lots and lots of patience. Never mind ballroom dance classes. Marcy learned the ultimate workout is toddler-care boot camp. What needs your attention: I have been taught that a comma is placed before the word 'but'. "No thats silly" should have an apostrophe as in 'that's'. "Her nerves were stained." Do you mean "her nerves were strained"? "But the much larger adult was quickly loosing steam." It is "losing steam." In the food court "it absolutely packed" could be "it was absolutely packed." What I liked best: I love the flow and action in this story. It is fast paced and a whirlwind non-stop that frazzles Marcy. The humour utilized to describe the exuberant Addie is spot on and believable. I laughed when the obviously childless aunt refers to the kids as small "power plants." Catching Addie "the fastest land animal alive" sparks graphic imagery. Yes, how could anyone fail to see that as quite the accomplishment. Also amusing: "half the attention span of a goldfish." Marcy claiming her arms were almost ripped from their sockets is not a blatant exaggeration. Kids are strong and determined. I loved how Grandpa seemed oblivious to the chaos. He enjoyed his outing with cherished grandchildren.Overall Impression: This is a delightful insight into the struggles of an aunt to keep pace with her exuberant nephew and niece. Thanks for the laughs! Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure! What does the fox say??? Listen carefully.(1912 characters) DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hello fellow writer! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes.Title: First Dates First Impression: You had me with that first sentence. "I woke wearing nothing but a single sock." Cue the eerie, heavy-note mystery music, or the theme from The Twilight Zone. Of course, I had to wade into the rest of your story. You convince me you are not yourself in that you are groggy and apparently in a strange(ers) place. The missing sock is the least of your conundrums. The explanations unfold without any peril to your person.What needs your attention: "And that man seem to be staring at my date..." I believe it should be 'seemed'. I will not debate or insist upon the placement of commas. They serve their purpose, but then again they are a contentious punctuation. Perhaps sprinkle liberally, or not. What I liked best: Your humour is subtle and understated. It does not whack me over the head. Just the manner in which you tell the tale is laid back. Oh shucks, my sock is missing. What's-her-name brings me a coffee. Why was I not more concerned about the whereabouts of my other clothing? Shoulder shrug followed by an offhand comment: " The two couples who left the restaurant weren't the same pairing as those who'd entered two hours earlier." I did snicker at your worries re the type 'Jake' might possibly be. Thanks for the advice. I shall endeavour to never ever wear a dog-slobber sock. What a relief that dog-sock-coffee-angel has a name and that you remember it.Overall Impression: This story is hilarious! It epitomizes the everything happens for a reason philosophy. Thanks for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure! What does the fox say??? Listen carefully.(1801 characters}DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hello fellow writer! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes.Title: Hammock Haters UniteFirst Impression: Well , with a title like this I just had to wander in and test out your hammock. You raise valid anti-hammock points here. They could be dangerous to one's overall health. Suspended above the ground and dangling without a care in the world sounds heavenly. Disaster may well lurk though. Accidents often strike when we are relaxed and not anticipating them. It is that void of fear that leads to our downfall.What needs your attention: I believe the correct terminology is ' lying on a hammock. ' To lay means to place something and yes, you do place your body to lie. Lie is the verb, the action of doing. May I suggest a well-placed comma before the word 'but'. What I liked best: I am interpreting this piece as a tongue-in-cheek warning. Maybe you have actual intentions to ban hammocks. I do not know. When I notice people reposing in them I think they appear content, relaxed and enjoying their opportunity to languish. I have personally sprawled in one in Cuba and at my Canadian seasonal campsite. They are rather comfy and sometimes they can be encouraged to sway with the breeze. I do understand your stance. I am an avowed klutz and as such do not relish the many falls I experience much less invite another one. Hammocks do not come equipped with safety railings, or stairs. Lounge chairs present their own challenges. They also may not be suitable for the faint of heart.Overall Impression: This advice/call to action has its merits. Have you initiated a support/protest group? Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure. What does the fox say? Listen carefully.(1822 characters) DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hello fellow writer! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes. Title: The TestFirst Impression: What could the test possibly be? The title intrigued me, piqued my curiosity. I was commiserating with poor entrapped and disoriented Norveg. He was an unwilling prisoner fearing that he was about to be gassed. I felt his building terror and helplessness. It did not help his predicament that he had heard horror stories. It only fueled his growing panic. What needs your attention: Nothing. I have not noticed anything requiring your attention and subsequent editing.What I liked best: The building tension and distress of Norveg carried me along. I only knew what happened as they occurred to Norveg the narrator. Hey, this could be a Viking's name. I suppose I reacted as he reacted. I am not saying I enjoyed reading about his near-might-have-been death. I am stating I liked the suspense and the relief when he realized he was not about to die. His terrible fears amounted to nothing. Haha, he was a test subject and he had passed with flying colours. Something known as FDA approved of his reaction. Perhaps Norveg would argue about the supposed "no harmful effects." He was left puzzled as to what had happened, but he was grateful to be alive. It was a funny moment when I discovered Norveg to be a lab rat. Without any studying, or undue prompting he was deemed acceptable and as a reward he was going home. Talk about bewildered. I like that this tail was told with the lab rat's viewpoint. He had the front row perspective.Overall Impression: Kudos for another humorous story making great use of given prompt words. This was not what I was expecting and I liked the surprise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work, It has been my pleasure! What does the fox say??? Listen carefully.(1911 characters)DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hello fellow writer! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes. Title: Coming Home First Impression: Aww, this is a heartfelt tearjerker of a story. I have never known anyone who served in the military. I respect it is considered a duty, an honour a flash of patriotism. It definitely is not all glory and heroism. It can create gaping chasms of grief and devastation. There is more than enough loss to go around. What needs your attention: "Gapping maw of the hole." This is a powerful image, but isn't it spelled 'gaping'? "She turned but nothing was there." I believe a comma is missing in action. Sorry, these are nit picky things.What part I liked best: I enjoyed reading this entire story. You presented stark imagery that coincides with grief. "Heard the jolting crack of rifle fire." I have never understood the gun fire salute. It sounds terrible and violent especially so if the deceased died because of gun wounds. Jack did come home just not in the preferred manner, or with the anticipated outcome. There was a surprise waiting for Lisa in her vehicle. Painting this scene you evoke bittersweet feelings and sorrow for Lisa's inconsolable loss. She faces a much different pregnancy now as a widow. Sad, but true. Life carries on. Jack has created a legacy. You utilized the given prompt words and crafted a moving, realistic tale. You display a deft touch with a constrained number of words. I do not believe this story could improve or needs to with extra wordage. It is brief like Jack and Lisa's time together. Your title says it all. Jack came home. Overall Impression: Nicely written sentimental story of an unforeseen homecoming for a military man. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure. What does the fox say??? Listen carefully.(1898 characters)DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hello fellow writer! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes. Title: PUN-ishmentFirst Impression: I have stumbled upon another nugget of comedy gold here. Should I wince like Oliver? I could and did groan as the plumber George did. I suspect it is an involuntary reflex. At least Tom is not overcome with the circumstances floating in his sodden basement. It takes a barrage of puns to spark the canine's reaction. He probably is thinking he is not the 'rough' one. What needs your attention: Okay, this is not a glaring omission, or mistake, but... Yep, I espy three instances in which a comma does not precede the venerable word 'but'. Is it a hard and fast grammar rule? "Thinking of sinking basement." His basement? The basement?What part I liked best: Okay, I will admit to guffawing at Tom's not-so-lame puns. He obviously likes to have fun with words. Why would I begrudge the guy his enjoyment? He is a go with the flow kind of fellow. I will not hurl a catcall in his direction, but I could bark, ruff, ruff. On the positive side Tom now has a pool table in his basement. I can picture Oliver swimming down there, dog paddling. This is a clever response to the prompt 'spring cleaning'. This succinct tale packs a punch and is not at all water-logged. Overall Impression: Why not throw in a few puns? They exist and they are hilarious. If only Oliver the beagle could speak English. Is it any wonder he howls? I suspect he is thinking "oh, come on. Doggone it!" Tom may well not be punning when he receives the plumber's bill. There's potential waterworks there. I appreciate the light-hearted humour and thanks for the laughs. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure! What does the fox say? Listen carefully.(1866 characters) DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hello fellow writer! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes.Title: For Whom the Trolls BellFirst Impression: Okay, I have taken note of your warning, so I will attempt to contain my groans. I anticipated humour and you did not disappoint. As the title so stipulates a troll did indeed fulfill his sacred duties as a bell ringer. I laughed and held my own noggin'. He of the mouthful of a moniker used his head in an admirable all be it headache inducing manner. He as it turns out thinks on his feet. He adapts to the given situation.What needs your attention: Oops, I believe a wee word is missing in action. "He went to rope..." Shouldn't there be a 'the'? Nothing else is amiss.What part I liked best: Any and all of it! Oorgmph is a problem solver. He has a good, solid, bell-ringing head on his shoulders. I suppose I could say he 'went ahead' and rang his own bell as well as that of the basilica. I love the reactions of the meandering cardinal and the acolyte's response is beyond a groaner. Isn't the English language a marvel? I wonder if this piece should be offered in ESL classes? If you understand this you're ready to mangle the language along with us so called native speakers. Try and get your head around this. Put your heads together if you think it is necessary. With a few deft strokes you created a funny story for the given prompt.Overall Impression: I laughed and loved this story. It is hilarious. Perhaps next time Oorgmph will elect to tie a knot at the end of his rope and hang on. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure! What does the fox say??? Listen carefully.(1739 characters)DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hello fellow writer! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes.Title : UnmaskedFirst Impression: I just had to read this piece because, well, I am currently a fox, a House Florent fox. Surprise, surprise as ol' Gomer would say. This was not about an animal. Or what is it a different type/ species of fox/animal? Now I know 'zorro' means fox. This is an aha moment. This particular Zorro was caught red-handed with his, no, her pants down, er, in his clutches. What needs your attention: Nothing unless I am too busy, preoccupied with laughing to notice. Wait a minute. I could suggest a comma before the 'but' in this sentence. "He stumbled out a confused explanation, but gave up." A minor, finicky thing.What I liked best: May I choose all of this ? I was anticipating a read about a marauding fox, but instead I am subjected to a woman's clothes thief skulking about in the darkness. You set the scene with a man on horseback committing a silent vigil beneath a balcony belonging to a slumbering female. He has time to contemplate his own cleverness and skill with a pun and the soothing of his steed. You tease with the description of his savouring the woman's clothing which eludes to something more such as a rendezvous. The ending is a hilarious reveal. He is nothing , but a panty snatcher. Oh, and apparently a cross-dresser, too. How fortuitous for him that his victim is the same size.Overall Impression: This turned out to be a flirty, fun bit of writing. Within a few words you introduce a mysterious cross-dresser thief and you utilize the given prompt words. Kudos. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure. What does the fox say??? Listen carefully.91819 characters) DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hello fellow writer! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes.Title: The Heart of a Writerfirst Impression: You sure love words, don't you? You praise, worship and exalt them in all their glory. You paint and sculpture with them thereby acknowledging words create art. You present strong imagery here. What needs your attention: "My own minds' movie reel." I believe that the apostrophe should be placed between the letter 'd' and the letter's'. You are expressing ownership there. What part I liked best: You believe writers to be runners, marathoners " on the track of prose, imagination and passion." This is a fitting analogy. We expel energy in our effort to combine the perfect blend of words to best portray our stories. And I like the idea, the possibility of checkpoints at which we check in and evaluate our progress. It can, at times, be an exhausting endeavour. And, yes, it is not a typical competition with someone crossing the finish line first. We strive to finish no matter the time taken to do so. Thank you for the final inspiring line. I agree with you about plot lines, or characters sacrificed for a movie. The original story as presented in a book is often totally different when transformed to film. As is said, something is lost in the translation. Yes, writing can be compared to "mental aerobics." Our writers' minds are always flipping, tumbling, dancing and leaping. We are indeed busy. One of the pleasures of WDC is stopping to peruse and review the writings of other like-minded individuals.Overall Impression: This is a positive, uplifting portrayal of the active process of writing. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure. What does the fox say? Listen carefully. (1843 characters)DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions in this review are mainly things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein.This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hello fellow writer! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes. Title: Never Goin Back Again First Impression: Haha, I mistyped the title and saw ' bach again.' This is a totally different idea and subsequent impressions, isn't it? I like Fleetwood Mac music. Good choice for your altered lyrics. Of course, I noticed your signature purple font, pretty, and surprisingly easy on the eyes. I do not know if this was your intent, but this reads as a threat. "She will see me again." Is this an ominous promise? Cue the maniacal laughter? What needs your attention: Nothing. This is succinct and well-written. I see no obvious, glaring problems.What part I liked best: The spare words pack a punch. I still interpret this as a possessive male stalkerish wanna-be boyfriend spewing threats. He has stormed her defences and wormed his way in. He intends to be sly and sneaky? He seems sinister. Is he perhaps too comfortable with what he has done? "Sinking down back again." Is he settling in for the long term? "She will see me again maybe one time maybe two." The ongoing involvement is implied. How can the object, the other person be prepared and protected? There is a crowing with "I always win." Is this inevitable? This is far different than the original lyrics. They conjure up vulnerability and being saved/accepted. They speak of redemption. A desire to never repeat past mistakes. Overall Impression: This set of lyrics is spooky. The creepy intent lingers and festers. I see foreshadowing of things to come. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure. What does the fox say??? Listen carefully.{1743 characters} DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
Well, it's great that we vanquished the troublemakers. What a violent hullabaloo. So, little ol' me was a fast runner? Are you certain? As for being knocked off a horse, ouch! I probably would've bounced off sooner or later. Thanks for the fun and mayhem!
Well, it's great that we vanquished the troublemakers. What a violent hullabaloo. So, little ol' me was a fast runner? Are you certain? As for being knocked off a horse, ouch! I probably would've bounced off sooner or later. Thanks for the fun and mayhem!
"Game of Thrones" Hello fellow writer! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes. Title: baking a Cake: An Expert Is PumpedFirst Impression: Who does not like Cake? Not me, that's for sure. Your poem title intrigued me and drew me in to peruse your writing. I am not sure I would think of minuses with baking, but there are certainly definite pluses. Yes, the smell makes the anticipation of sampling difficult. baking is indeed a process, from start to finish.What needs your attention: I find no fault with your spelling. Congrats! This is just my perception, but the final stanza is confusing. To me the wording seems awkward. I am an avid baker and I suppose I have never considered baking to be gamesmanship. Mentioning an edge and a ledge makes no sense to me.What part I liked best: I liked and can relate to spatters and scatter. baking is possibly messy. Yes, I agree, "ingredients make batter." I also like the term " dessert geniuses." "Their gems seem extraordinary." Some bakers do indeed possess the magic. I also agree that mistakes do happen and they are no reason "to have a coronary." Even the mistakes are usually still edible, not perfect, but tasty still the same. Overall Impression: I cannot fault a poem touting the wonders of baking. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure. What does the fox say??? Listen carefully.(1466 characters) DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Image #2252466 over display limit. -?-
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