Well, it's great that we vanquished the troublemakers. What a violent hullabaloo. So, little ol' me was a fast runner? Are you certain? As for being knocked off a horse, ouch! I probably would've bounced off sooner or later. Thanks for the fun and mayhem!
Well, it's great that we vanquished the troublemakers. What a violent hullabaloo. So, little ol' me was a fast runner? Are you certain? As for being knocked off a horse, ouch! I probably would've bounced off sooner or later. Thanks for the fun and mayhem!
"Game of Thrones" Hello fellow writer! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes. Title: baking a Cake: An Expert Is PumpedFirst Impression: Who does not like Cake? Not me, that's for sure. Your poem title intrigued me and drew me in to peruse your writing. I am not sure I would think of minuses with baking, but there are certainly definite pluses. Yes, the smell makes the anticipation of sampling difficult. baking is indeed a process, from start to finish.What needs your attention: I find no fault with your spelling. Congrats! This is just my perception, but the final stanza is confusing. To me the wording seems awkward. I am an avid baker and I suppose I have never considered baking to be gamesmanship. Mentioning an edge and a ledge makes no sense to me.What part I liked best: I liked and can relate to spatters and scatter. baking is possibly messy. Yes, I agree, "ingredients make batter." I also like the term " dessert geniuses." "Their gems seem extraordinary." Some bakers do indeed possess the magic. I also agree that mistakes do happen and they are no reason "to have a coronary." Even the mistakes are usually still edible, not perfect, but tasty still the same. Overall Impression: I cannot fault a poem touting the wonders of baking. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure. What does the fox say??? Listen carefully.(1466 characters) DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hello fellow writer! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes. Title: Cat NapFirst Impression: This is a cute ode to the deep, carefree , relaxed sleep of a feline. I have always been amazed that cats will and do sleep anywhere and under any conditions. Oh, look an empty teapot. Now it is not. Of course I can slumber in a windowsill flower box. This shelf is certainly not too narrow for my repose.What needs your attention: Nothing. I cannot suggest any edits, or corrections whatsoever. What I liked best: This poem is definitely not a fantasy or science fiction. As I stated, this is common behaviour for felines. This is entirely believable. And cats are so gosh darn cute doing nothing but sleep. I like this line "so confident of fulfillment." In relationship to napping, I doubt cats ever worry about the outcome. They exude chill. "But cat sleep eludes me." I commiserate. I suppose we think , fret and plan too much. Overall Impression: I too wish I could sleep at the drop of a hat anywhere and at anytime I so choose. I admit I envy relaxed felines. You describe a sleeping cat to a 't.'Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure. What does the fox say??? Listen carefully. (1326 characters)DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hello Fellow Writer! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes.Title: Sing on Birdfirst Impression: Who doesn't appreciate Spring and not associate bird song with its arrival? I like the rhyme in your poem. It flows nicely when read aloud. I am waiting for its imminent and anticipated arrival.What needs your attention: "I sure hope theyre right." It should be "they're right." The final line contains a strange word. I realize when some people speak 'have to' sounds like 'haft to'. I believe it should be in italics or quotation marks to signify it is a colloquialism. Is it meant to be one? If not... I researched 'haft' and it is something. It is the handle of a knife. I learned something new. I do not think a knife handle has anything to do with the imagery in this poem?What part I liked best: I like the easy, flowing rhyme in this poetry. Each stanza is a three line sentence and I like this, too. The tone is one of happiness, awe, and anticipation. It kind of rolls when read aloud. It is a shame that 'out' and 'blue' do not rhyme as the other word pairings do. The third stanza is my favourite. Overall Impression: This is a joyous ode to the wondrous arrival of Spring. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure. What does the fox say??? Listen carefully.(1410 characters) DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hello Fellow Writer! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes.title: WeightlessFirst Impression: You describe weightlessness as being a freedom and you enjoy the feeling. Are your burdens, your troubles bringing you down, back to earth where you do not wish to be? You write " a slave to the ground." This is a powerful image. This relays reluctance and frustration. What needs your attention: I am not sure I like your use of the word 'here' in two consecutive lines, but I understand it to be an emphasis. Repeating it twice gives it weight, intent. What part I liked best: "Fate has found me here, hanging boundless here on the edge of forever." This describes the freedom of soaring above everything. You mention not having a timetable, or schedule. You can and do fly aimlessly within suspended time. Yes, that would be a freedom without a care in the world. Overall Impression: This poem evokes feelings of yearning. "No loss to declare." To fly is to be free of regret. You seem to write of a goal, a purpose. "Determined and certain to fly again." Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure. What does the fox say??? Listen carefully.91280 characters)DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review a a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hello Fellow Writer! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes.Title: Brian's Night FlightFirst Impression: I was expecting to read a story of an airplane flight, or perhaps that of a hot air balloon or even a spaceship. Surprise , Brian is the one who learns he can fly. I suppose the act of flying makes perfect sense if one is sleeping. The mind tends to soar with all kinds of possibilities then in dreams. Brian is actually capable of teleporting himself I believe. He travels over his school and witnesses a devastating fire. What a frightful, yet fascinating night for Brian.What needs your attention: During the dialogue I believe you should either use a comma, not a period, before you add to the type of action. "Hello," he said as an example. Or keep the period and capitalize what follows the speaking. Two separate sentences. "I know that Mom ...I saw it." His mouth quivered as the words spilled out.What part I liked best: I like the concept of this story. A boy discovering he can fly makes for an exciting, interesting set of scenarios. I envision sequels. I like the description of his first experience.Overall Impression: This is a great tale. bRian has a unique coming of age moment. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure. What does the fox say??? Listen carefully.(1429 characters)DISCLAIMER: the views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hello Fellow Writer! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes.Title: Take That, Ya Punx!First Impression: Right from the first sentence Phil the Groundhog uses his voice, his words, his attitude to explain Groundhog Day and his reluctant role in that. He is definitely not a wall flower. He speaks his mind. He hatches a hilarious plot to foil/hinder the creation of Phil statues for the town. He becomes a behind the scenes manipulator extraordinaire. What needs your attention: Sometimes, the ideas are flying 'round us furiously and we forget to include words. I believe you forgot the word 'with' when writing "get away nearly anything." "It was a Hatch Chili Breakfast burritos." Is it meant to refer to one or more? What part I liked best: I appreciate the humour in this tale. It is amusing to thing a groundhog would be able to speak and plot as this Phil does. I like his partner's jab at his weight saying he's "too much around." I like the nonchalant way he admits he works one whole day per year. It is amusing that he manipulates the artists he loathes to create funny statues. He makes fun of himself. The ending is hilarious. Phil is immortalized as Phallic Phil.Overall Impression: Punxatawney Phil is not to be trifled with. Thanks for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure! What does the fox say??? Listen carefully.(1462 characters)DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hello Fellow Writer! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes.First Impression: What a nice, caring individual I think of the narrator. He not only notices a stray senior wandering through his neighbourhood, he decides to assist him. A meal is offered to the walker and he in turn shares some stories and history with his benefactor. I would say that is a great trade. We should all appreciate what seniors have to offer. All we have to do is give up some of our free time and listen. The ending is unexpected. These two men are not strangers at all, although one endures Alzheimer's. What needs your attention: Nothing. I like this story as is. What part I liked best: The opening sentence sets the subsequent scene and hints at something amiss. Like wise, the ending is a complete revelation. Slowly, the stranger's need to meander and depart the care facility is revealed. He has memory loss. I like that you do not glorify this, or become sentimental/weepy. Dancing with Alzheimer's is a delicate venture. The repetition can be monotonous and inevitable. Sadly, Alzheimer's respects no one.Overall Impression: This is a great, subtle piece of writing. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure. What does the fox say??? Listen carefully.(1369 Characters)DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hello Fellow Writer! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes.Title: National Goof Off Day!First Impression: Good for You! Why not? You decided to have some fun and somehow incorporate several of The Writer's Cramp prompts into an entry. What you accomplished makes as much sense as other offerings I have read. Yes, this is goofing off if you copy and paste. The humour is that you made a big effort to do this. You also expelled actual effort and created something original.What needs your attention: Nothing! This, whatever it is, stands on its own. You made your point.What part I liked best: I liked the entire concept and the execution. Brilliant. All those various prompts combined to celebrate a national all-be-it obscure holiday. Take that Goofing Off Day. If this special occasion was indeed sentient it would be flattered and over joyed by this poem. You earned that nap in my humble opinion. You must not over exert yourself. There will be many more holidays to honour and observe.Overall Impression: This poem is clever and fun. The judges probably did not know what to do with it. I hope they appreciated the surprise. Thanks for allowing me to read your work. It ahs been my pleasure! What does the fox say??? Listen carefully.(1355 characters)DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Image #2252466 over display limit. -?-
"Game of Thrones" Hello Fellow Writer! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes. Title: The cozy chair that I'm not inFirst Impression: Sorry, I laughed at your predicament. I anticipated something terrible due to your question. "Whose idea was it to go camping, anyway?" You write of night falling and fearing what "in the darkness lies." You lament not languishing in your comfortable chair back home. Was camping really that rough?What needs your attention: Nothing. This reads well, no confusion.What part I liked best: I admire your form and rhyme. They are not forced. The air is light-hearted, tongue in cheek. You claim to have been seduced by a cheery tone and promises of "leafy walks" and "bonhomie." Who could possibly resist that allure? The final six lines of this poem caused me to smile. With this engaging rhyme you blurt out your camping fears. "Though you swear nothing in the darkness lies Still, I can feel a thousand hostile eyes." Just a wee bit of exaggeration? Overall Impression: This is a great poem of self-mockery. Obviously. you survived your ordeal and penned this piece of writing to commemorate it. Thanks for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure! What does the fox say??? Listen carefully.(1335 characters)DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. this is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Image #2252466 over display limit. -?-
"Game of Thrones" Hello Fellow Writer! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes.Title: Sugar's RunFirst Impression: Wow! You retell quite the adventure here. I chose this story because I am a lifelong camper and have experienced my fair share of adventures. This type has never happened to me or my family. What a shame that your supposedly innocent and meant-to-be-fun cart ride ended suddenly, spectacularly with an accident. I am certain your parents did not anticipate such a dramatic beginning to the family vacation either.What needs your attention: I spotted a few minor things. "I knew the stables were to far away." That 'to' should be a 'too'. Again a 'too' is needed in "it was to late to swim." Oops, "pat" needs an 'h'. "Started carrying back the way.." Perhaps add 'him' to that sentence.What I liked best: The entire story is a shocker, but ends with the family enjoying their first camping trip, healed and happy. Overall Impression: This must be a wonderful memory. Thanks for allowing me to read your work. It has been a pleasure. What does the fox say??? Listen carefully.(1186 characters)DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Image #2252466 over display limit. -?-
"Game of Thrones" Hello Fellow Writer! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes.Title: Greetings From A Gruesome Gargoyle First Impression: I never expected to be reading about a practical joker cum gargoyle. So, they are not just a pretty gruesome face adorning the walls of ancient buildings? They serve a purpose and this one's reason d'etre is to roam and wreak havoc in the month leading up to Halloween. He seems quite attached if not territorial when it comes to this library. His descriptions of the elderly librarian are quite scathing and mean-spirited. it is a good thing he enjoys reading because he is haunting a good source for books. What needs your attention: I would suggest you shorten some of your sentences in this piece. Yes, as he mentioned , this gargoyle likes to ramble, but run on sentences need not be his prerogative. Often shorter sentences carry more of a punch when describing someone or action. They underscore movement and heighten the tension or the mood."The feisty girl turn on a quick..." Quick what? Do you mean "turn quick"?What part I liked best: I like the gregariousness of this roaming, mischievous gargoyle. He holds nothing back and seems proud of his shenanigans. This story contains humour. too. I loved the allusion to Hannibal with the fava beans and Chianti. It was also amusing that he did not differentiate between a gross book and being engrossed with a book. The point is he enjoys books and he is certainly in the best spot to do that. I can picture that poor octogenarian of a librarian fainting with her "unmentionables" exposed. And an old, antique gargoyle referring to a woman as old? That's rich.Overall Impression: This is a fun story. If I were wandering 'round an ancient library I would keep looking over my shoulder. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure! What does the fox say??? Listen carefully.(1989 characters)DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hell Fellow Writer! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes.Title: Memories of MommaFirst Impression: This is a bittersweet, poignant piece about an eight-year old girl experiencing and then accepting the death of her mother. Just like actual deaths the timing was not convenient and it was quite sudden. How can anyone let alone a little girl prepare for this? Through a dream visit from her Mom Amanda makes sense of this tragedy and her coping mechanism is activated. She learns she can remember her parent at any time, but especially in the field of wheat. Many years later she still does this.What needs your attention: All I can suggest is that perhaps you shorten some of your sentences. This will give each one more clarity and urgency. I know we tend to run on with some of our ideas and this translates to long sentences. We try to fit so much into our stories. If we did this we would use the word 'and' sparingly. What part I liked best: I like this story concept, well except for the whole Mom dying and leaving the daughter to grieve part. Mommy's promise to always be in the wheat field, or at least explaining her spirit/love would be there is sweet. It is memories we remember and cherish for our lifetimes. Setting this story on a farm that defines continual life was a great idea. This is the circle of life continuum. Even without the physical presence of her mother Amanda can still flourish. You presented rich themes here. Overall Impression: This is a sweet, coming of age story. The main character will always know and never doubt that her Mommy loved her. It plays with the reader's emotions and tugs at the heart strings. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure! What does the fox say??? Listen carefully.(1881 characters) DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore. do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hello fellow Writer! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes. Title: I'm Coming HomeFirst Impression: This is a succinct, well-written story with a surprise ending. The narrator experiences a surprise, most unexpected happy ending. From misery and a little rain comes just what she has always wanted, a baby. She makes a spontaneous decision and restarts her life across the border in Mexico. Ah, if only it was that easy. With the ending being a tag line "Three years have passed. I have never looked back; moreover I have no regrets" you illustrate this woman is happy with her choice. What needs your attention: This is my thought. The sentence spelling out the see ya later letter from The cowardly lout of a husband, Jake does not need a semi colon preceding it. It stands alone and as such the words before it should be capped with a period. I have not noticed anything else that needs editing.What part I liked best: You did not waste your limited word count explaining every little detail here. You expose the relevant, salient points. Ended marriage, grief, discovery of baby, adoption/rescue of infant, walk across the border to return home. Nice, neat tale. I like that she never hesitated with her life-changing decision. She found a daughter and she would cope as she went along. Mothers do this coping thing all the time. There are no instruction manuals and no sureties. Instant new family.Overall Impression: This story moved at a quick pace. Fate intervened and its invitation required quick thinking and drastic, immediate planning. Great response to the given prompt. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure. What does the fox say??? Listen carefully.(1824 characters) DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hello fellow writer. My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes. Title: The StrollFirst Impression: What a simple, innocuous title. The ensuing story is anything but simple, or innocent. Reading this was a delight. A mother out for a stroll in a mall seems like an everyday, usual occurrence. Malls everyday are inundated with such activities. The storyline veers unexpectedly into something else entirely. This woman had died and needed to pass over willingly. I like this concept!What needs your attention: I admit to being a bit confused. Am I interpreting this correctly? Is Christina dead? She speaks of being on the outside looking in. In a few spots of your writing there is not a comma before the word 'but'. What part I liked best: I liked as the reader I am led gently along with the strolling woman. Neither of us is suspicious. When I arrive at the end of the story I realize her not having a name is unimportant. This woman represents all woman and in particular mothers loathe to die and leave their children behind. She needs a ruse to encourage her to take that final step. Of course a mother would wish to take her child with her even if it is one that exists in her memory. This is an eerie, yet strangely peaceful scenario. The entire thing is orchestrated to reduce or eliminate any stress or pain. The final explanation given to young Willy is illuminating and logical. Perhaps it is also plausible. That empty baby buggy represents cherishing, carrying and protecting one's offspring. You put a great deal of thought into this tale. Kudos!Overall Impression: This is a poignant description of letting go and dying. Thanks for allowing me to read your work. It has been a pleasure! What does the fox say??? Listen carefully. (1863 characters) DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hello fellow writer. My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes.Title: Final Goodbye First Impression: This is a heart-breaking, yet beautiful story of love. It is not easy typing with tears rolling down my cheeks. Alzheimer's is a devastating illness that steals everything from both the sufferer and their family. Most likely Helena would not know or recognize sorrow and regret. Sam however bears it all alone. I have known people struck/blindsided by this in their fifties. What needs your attention: "She wanted to be neurosurgeon." Oops, the word 'a' is missing. may I suggest this in the second paragraph. "Helena was also attracted to him." Later when you describe Sam meeting the parents I suggest moving that 'also' to read " he planned to also be a chemical engineer."What part I liked best: "Sam drank in every second of her arms around him like a sponge dropped into its first bucket of water." This is a fantastic sentence and a very apt metaphor. It describes this special moment perfectly. This piece of writing is saturated with emotion. There is the exhilaration of first love. There is the growth of deepening love. There is the thrill of graduation and establishing careers. There is the sorrow of learning they were infertile. There is the sheer helplessness, the futility interwoven amongst the perils of Alzheimer's. But above all the abiding love shines through. Helena and Sam knew and shared love.Overall Impression: This story is poignant and bittersweet. Love is discovered, reciprocated, shared and then irretrievably altered. Sam and Helena seem so real and vibrant. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure! What does the fox say??? Listen carefully.(1820 characters) DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hello fellow writer! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes.Title: A Thanksgiving StoryFirst Impression: OMG! The desperate things a hostess will connive to do never cease to amaze me. This is a new and unique turkey-thawing method indeed. Even the determined lengths you went through to attain a second satisfactory sacrificial bird were something akin to the actions of a super hero. And a hungry bear absconded with one of your birds just before the family festivity? this story has all the makings of a comedy scene straight from a movie. Have you shared your unusual, yet ingenious plan with a Mrs. Doubtfire type character?What needs your attention: Sorry to be all nit-picky. There's a wayward comma on the loose in the third paragraph describing : "over twenty pounds,". Other than that wee typo all is well, fantastic.What part I liked best: I love the new names you assign to your reconfigured cooking assistive devices. The "auxiliary refrigeration system" aka the porch is funny. I have relatives who utilize this very same system in the winter. Bears hibernate then. The hot tub becomes "the great hot pot". Hot-tubbing with a portly frozen turkey? Amusing! I can picture this and the rum eggnog rounds out your nonchalance perfectly. That you pull off this feat in the wee hours under the handy cover of darkness like a subversive mission is great fun.Overall Impression: I laughed throughout reading this hilarious tale. That you did not induce food-poisoning is a definite bonus. What an impressive secret to taunt the family with. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure! What does the fox say??? Listen carefully.(1775 characters)DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hello fellow writer. My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes.Title: White Balloons First Impression: The sorrow, the grief is palpable in this poem. The title intrigued me. I have never observed any balloons much less white ones at a graveside service. Is this common for the funeral of a child? If it is I have learned something new here. Rain at a graveside commitment...why does this occur? It is not always a cliche. Does grief require somber weather to make it real? I like the questions that precede/introduce each stanza. An observer might ask. This serves to accentuate the narrator's musings and observations.What needs your attention: I cannot think of anything. There is nothing to edit or criticize. You present a sad gathering in a cemetery. No effusiveness needed.What part I liked best: I must admit I liked the spacing and the font choices. The elegant script lends a formality to this poetry. As I mentioned I like the questions. They are reflexive. Death always raises those in spades. There are not always answers either. No response is anticipated. They reveal the thought processes of the onlooker. The questions will float in the air like those balloons. Yes, the balloons could be a salute to the deceased child, a nod to their young age. Your description of them saluting the sky is vivid. Yes, again. Those in attendance may be described as "standing sentry". They are now left to wait and wonder why. Will words comforting or not "let them go"? The letting go of balloons and watching them soar away is symbolic. Overall Impression: This is a poignant slice of life portrayed in carefully chosen words. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure. What does the fox say??? Listen carefully.(1857 characters) DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hello fellow writer! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes. Title: To Robin Williams First Impression: A poem dedicated to the death of a celebrity comedian? Well, why not. I admired his talent, too and cannot comprehend his death. Why does it happen too often that the truly gifted die far too young? This is heartfelt. He did make quite the impression on his fans. I like that you compare this to two other spectacular phenomenon, the sun and the moon. This is the idea that everyone in the world sees and shares both of these. What needs your attention: Nothing whatsoever. What part I liked best: I appreciate your rhyme. This poem flows smoothly. The phrasing, the words are not forced. You did not need to go into detail about Robin's demise. The suddenness of it is accentuated by your spare words and descriptions. "Farewell a friend of laughter bold He left too soon he could not hold." This sums his body of work up, bold comedy. My eldest grandgiggle's favourite Robin Williams movie is the first Jumanji. She viewed it over and over again with the stereo blaring the stampeding elephants. The best, funniest scene is his character trapped in the attic floor and blowing at the spiders. Who can or will forget Mrs. Doubtfire? The comedy was brilliant. Yes, we will "mourn him as we gaze the moon." Overall Impression: This poem made me sad, yet I smiled. Would such a feeling man wish for us to grieve too much? He enjoyed making people laugh and I shall always be grateful to him for that. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been a pleasure. What does the fox say??? Listen carefully. (1752 characters) DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hello fellow writer! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes.Title: Gild's Roses First Impression: Wow, this is a surprise something! It begins innocently enough with a man watering roses and progresses to a spontaneous murder. With the tight word constraint you wove a believable scenario. You did not require a plethora of words to weave your sordid tale. The scene, the characters and the conflict race with the building action. The conclusion is a shocker, too. Bradly is no stranger to murder and the disposal of a body. The motive for his drastic deed does not need to be spelled out, the hint is more than good enough. He cannot risk anyone seeking his deceased wife. What needs your attention: It may well be just me, but I think the word 'bury' and its derivatives are repeated too many times in the final paragraph. Is it 'aught' or 'ought'? Other than that nit-picky point I see no need for editing, or changes. This short story stands alone.What part I liked best: You hinted at how long poor Gilda has been dead with your opening words and included that clue within Bradly's actions of watering the same roses for "ten years" and you plant the motive as being an 'argument.' With a few well chosen words you supply the when and the why. The how is still a mystery, but perhaps the sedating of the Navy brother is a possible option. Kudos for revealing Bradly's psychopathy. He seems harmless enough busying himself with gardening and maintaining the roses for so many years. he has successfully fooled his nosey neighbour Mrs. Jones for an extended period of time. Overall Impression: Great mystery/ suspense story! Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure! What does the fox say??? Listen carefully. {1859 characters) DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hello fellow writer! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes. Title: Harder To Believe And Even Harder To ProveFirst Impression: So, you chose to present the infamous mystery solving duo, Holmes and Watson with yet another case to solve. Very bold of you, yet well constructed despite the tight word constraints. That simple all be it intriguing sentence in the newspaper proved impossible for the gentlemen to ignore. They ran with the apparent challenge. Riddles or conundrums appeal, do they not? How does one prove seeing nothing? Seeing of course is the operative word. As Holmes states, "There's more than one way to 'see' a crime." This reminds me of people, children in particular, who reach for something while saying, "let me see it." Hands do not see in the traditional, literal sense as do blind people not 'see' with their eyes. What needs your attention: Is it "undoubtably" or "undoubtedly"? Is it a dialect thing? It reminds me of
indubitably. I am a tad confused. Who read over whose shoulder? This is well written, so I find no faults. What part I liked best: All of this swift-paced tale is amusing. From start to finish you portray the two crime aficionados brilliantly. They discover a challenge and they waste no time solving it. Ah, to live an existence in which one could be free to drop everything at a moment's notice just to solve a riddle. Holmes simply cannot accept that no one saw anything. Impossible. Preposterous. Overall Impression: Your response/offering to the given prompt is wonderful. Sherlock fans would appreciate it. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure! What does the fox say??? Listen carefully. (1789 characters) DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hello fellow writer! My name is Sandra I am one of the sly foxes. Title: Clandestine Services First Impression: Haha! As I just admitted I chuckled and giggled. This was hilarious. You strung me along with your description of a covert mission, a " black op". Two lone figures skulking in an office of an evening. You tease with allusions to a newbie, and the narrator as being experienced. You hint at an entity, the 'organization" to create a conspiracy. Your surprise reveal of an ending is totally unexpected. Well done! I will admit a surprise birthday celebration could be considered as a "special mission".What needs your attention: Nothing! Why mess with perfection? I understand the word constraints of a Flash Fiction piece and you nailed it here. This succinct story needs nothing else to improve it . I find no glaring 'errors' either. What part I liked best: Everything, no really, truly! I am impressed with your comic delivery. Like a great joke you string the reader along and set the scene to further enhance the surprise punchline. Clandestine indeed. Off the books, eh? Two mystery figures alone to accomplish who knows what? I like that you increase the tension with this 'innocent' line. "This is more complicated than I thought." I am hooked. What? As I already wrote you create the allusion of a spy enterprise, a highly classified need-to-know strike. Nothing as it turns out is being taken or copied or destroyed. Bravo! This is not so much a mystery as a suspense story. Cue the action/thriller ominous music.Overall Impression: This is deftly crafted and I salute you. Thanks for the smile on my face. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. This has been a pleasure! What does the fox say??? Listen carefully. (1852 characters) DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only he opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
"Game of Thrones" Hello fellow writer! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes. Title: Forgotten colors First Impression: The title drew me in. Colour me intrigued and yes, here in Canada we recognize and include that letter 'u' in colour. Okay, you create a mysterious hook for a continued story. I find myself with questions which should attract readers. I too wish to know why Nina is dreaming of colours , a devastating fire and terrible deaths. You describe a nightmare and as I understand them they are never easy to decode. Great mystery fodder.What needs your attention: What follows are just my suggestions. I confess to writing run on, long sentences, too. Sometimes, we should employ shorter ones. They add an urgency. They accentuate the terrible events. They punctuate your verbs with tension and that would work well in a mystery. "Everybody wants to get out, but all the doors and windows are locked." I believe the word 'of' is superfluous in the final line. Also drop one of the 'that's. Simply write " the dream makes her face realities she had never imagined." Do you need the word 'again' in the opening sentence? You mention it occurs repeatedly. Also, "where does she start" does not need 'from.' Now you have set up the remaining story. You have hinted and created something ominous. What part I liked best: This particular nightmare is so different, so random, so deadly. It is also disturbing and vivid. I want to know why Nina is receiving it. What does it mean? Something? Nothing? Overall Impression: This blurb, this tantalizing teaser has potential. Have you fleshed it out? Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure! What does the fox say??? Listen carefully.(1817 characters) DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
Greetings Phool! This delightful poem reflects the meanderings of a feline perfectly. The journey seems aimless, without purpose ,but a cat as we well know possesses a mind of their own. Oh, the things they observe, the smells they savour, the mystery noises that cause their sensitive ears to quiver. A cat seems to sense they have all the time in the world to explore. Whether they enjoy a home or not, they answer to no one's timetable or bribes. I love your description of a rain-soaked scene as being similar to a Pollock painting. Yes, colours diluted and splashed by rain do look like that. Thanks for sharing this accurate, yet fond-of-a cat poem.
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