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356 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by SandraLynn
Rated: E | (4.5)
*BalloonR*Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon!*BalloonR*
Hello. First of all, let me state that I like your moniker: Bookbreather. It is unique, and I suppose I can relate; I like to practically inhale books. Okay... your poem is breath-taking. The imagery is powerful and provoking. You describe two souls uniting beautifully: "swallow my gasps, as our lips collapse together". This sums up the idea that the passion of love is so all-consuming. Love does alter a person's reality profoundly. I have one tiny suggestion.....In the first line of the final stanza, you write "breathes", but in that instance, the word is "breaths". Breathe is a verb, and breath is a noun.
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Review of The New Me  
Review by SandraLynn
Rated: E | (5.0)
OOh, I love the twist to your story! Apparently, starting over isn't as easy as your character preconceived. This is a well-plotted mini mystery/thriller. Criminal master minds aren't nearly as clever as they believe themselves to be.
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Review of The Lonely Tower  
Review by SandraLynn
Rated: E | (4.5)
I like this tale; karma with a hint of manipulation. I can't imagine trying to survive in an arranged marriage, a business transaction. This story has a great twist and it's well written. You've created a great story within the constraints of only three hundred words.
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Review by SandraLynn
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello! This is a hilarious poem! Who hasn't been a 'victim' of pressure sales tactics? Cookies and cute girls, what a combination. I love the line " their sweet little smiles, like pollen to bees". You are quite clever with your rhymes. I, too, wrote a similar poem. I was a Guide leader for many years here in Canada. If you'd like to read my poem re cookie sales here is the link:
 THE COOKIE LAMENT  (13+)
It takes determination and self-sacrifice to sell Girl Guide cookies!!
#1991004 by SandraLynn
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Review of Complete  
Review by SandraLynn
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonR*Welcome to WDC from"The Classic Story Contest!*BalloonR*
Hello! This is a lovely piece of poetry. You've managed to use some big words and fit them into your piece. Kudos for your spelling; too many don't care about this! My favourite line: "Deep in my core peace and happiness released my soul".
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Review of forever  
Review by SandraLynn
Rated: E | (3.0)
*BalloonR*Welcome to WDC from"Newbie Welcome Wagon!*BalloonR*
Hello! I like the sentiments expressed here. Imagine being one-thousand years old! Humanity is certainly complex. I would suggest that you capitalize the 'I'.
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Review by SandraLynn
Rated: E | (3.5)
*BalloonR*Welcome to WDC from"Newbie Welcome Wagon!*BalloonR*
Hello! This is a fresh twist on an old tale. Yeah, at a certain age, especially the pre-teen time, girls don't like to be called 'little'. There are many people who would think a wolf was a dog. Oh, it's 'dinner', not 'diner'. I think the verb tense is a bit off when you describe the girl entering Granny's home; you write'run', and I think it should be 'ran', but is that the British grammar??
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Review by SandraLynn
Rated: E | (5.0)
*BalloonR*Welcome to WDC from"Newbie Welcome Wagon!*BalloonR*
Hello! This is a delightful poem. I really like the visuals and the imagery. It has a great rhythm and rhyme. The repeating of words would make this a great piece for kids learning to read.
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Review by SandraLynn
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from"Newbie Welcome Wagon!*BalloonR*
Hello! This is a nice, reflective piece, like something from a journal entry. You write of self discovery. Life is a journey, and seeking answers takes time.
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Review of Saving Andy  
Review by SandraLynn
Rated: E | (4.5)
*BalloonR* welcome to WDC from"Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*
Hello! Although the ending is both a tragic and triumphant one, this is a well-written story. You describe the love between the two brothers so well; it's very believable. An older brother would do anything to save a baby brother, even risk his own life. The first-person narrative really works, too.
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for entry "Passive or Active
Review by SandraLynn
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello! I really like your logical, well-thought out writing. You present your ideas in an easy to understand manner. Kudos for taking a giant step and doing something positive for yourself. Mothers are always sacrificing, but they have abilities and dreams too. Education is the great equalizer; it isn't influenced by age or sex. I like your positive attitude.
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Review of Camping Joy  
for entry "Feb.22
Review by SandraLynn
Rated: E | (4.5)
I love how you responded to this prompt! You took the viewpoint of kids playing with their food, and then wrote so creatively. I laughed at the absurd idea of meatballs as tires to be rolled and used as toys. Yes, butter as a slip and slide is possible. I really laugh at the idea of brussels sprouts as being only good enough as catapult fare. I see one tiny typo: 'marshmellow' is 'marshmallow'. It is pronounced as if it's an 'e'. though. You have a whimsical, fun writing style, and this piece showcased your vivid imagination.
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Review of "Sea Moods"  
Review by SandraLynn
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonR*Welcome to WDC from"Newbie Welcome Wagon!*BalloonR*
Hello! I really like this piece of poetry. Your imagery is alive. Isn't it amazing that weather affects our moods and perceptions? We associate sunshine with laughter, light, playing, and meditating. The seashore is a wonderfully complex place; much like people and their lives. You've illustrated that here.
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Review of One  
Review by SandraLynn
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonR*Welcome to WDC from"Newbie Welcome Wagon!*BalloonR*
Hello! I was intrigued by your title and brief teaser of an intro. This is a compact, precise piece of poetry. I agree with you; the media seems to broadcast too much ugliness. Everything seems to be considered newsworthy. More love and understanding/acceptance/tolerance would be a wonderful thing.
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Review of Ashes and Ashes  
Review by SandraLynn
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*BalloonR*Welcome to WDC from"Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*
Hello! This is a compelling, emotional piece of writing. Grief is many things, but especially pain and confusion. Too many times death is a shock; mind-numbing. Despite the subject, I like this; it's brief and spare like the bereaved person's life. Maybe, this could be the basis for a longer story?
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Review of Last Letter  
Review by SandraLynn
Rated: E | (3.5)
*BalloonR*welcome to WDC from"Newbie Welcome Wagon!*BalloonR*
Hello! This is a great premise . Writing one's regrets and apologies in one last letter. This makes a compelling story. There are a few issues with verb tenses. In the opening line, it should be "day's". You are missing several connective words:"I ended up failing", "I didn't want to stop", "I know it's been" or "I know it has been", "I wanted to tell you one thing", "I didn't want you to stop living your life"..... The correct word is 'prosperity' in the line " it always happens in times of prosper'. Some of your sentences could be shortened and re-distributed into several sentences. May I suggest, "Now, my dearest friend I wish I had talked to both of you to ask why you first fell in love". "Why did you stop feeling this way towards each other?" "He put the pen down and folded up the letter as he walked out the door to head to the grave." "When he arrived at the grave, he slowly knelt down to sit with the letter in his hand. He whispered, "I miss you". Sorry, for pointing these out, but you have the makings of a great story here that you'd like readers to understand.
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Review of Cup  
Review by SandraLynn
Rated: E | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from"Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*
Hello! What a creative way to write about recycling/rebirth. Yes, too many 'things' are temporary and tossed away. Sadly, some people treat each other this way; relationships are disposable. I anticipate more clever insights from you.
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Review of Biography  
Review by SandraLynn
Rated: E | (3.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from"Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*
Hello! First of all, good for you for making an effort and trying to write. You undoubtedly have many life stories to share. As most of us type, our thoughts fly ahead of our fingers. This creates typos and lack of punctuation. Commas are commonly placed before the word 'but'. 'I' should always be uppercase; it's important! Some of your sentences need a bit of work just to clarify/sharpen your intended meaning. This sentence:" this path I chosen to take presently" is a bit awkward. Perhaps, this sentence, "Though I've lead a pretty interesting life...", could be rewritten as, "Though I've lead a pretty interesting life, I'd say, it seems that I have difficulty conveying it." Please continue to write.
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Review of Get Up  
Review by SandraLynn
Rated: E | (4.5)
*BalloonR*Welcome to WDC from"Newbie Welcome Wagon!*BalloonR*
Hello! All I can write/reply is WOW! This is an emotionally powerful piece of writing. You describe lost/dashed love so well. Not all relationships are healthy ones. I like the line in which you write ,"I should have given myself all the love I gave you". Self love is so important. Oh, by the way, there was a typo in this line: the'I' should be upper case. I really like the final two lines, too. You write of heartache and hope.
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Review of Grandpa Bradt  
Review by SandraLynn
Rated: E | (4.5)
*BalloonR*Welcome to WDC from"Newbie Welcome Wagon!*BalloonR*
Hello! This is a well-written and touching tribute to your great-grandfather, Wow; he lived to a wonderful age and he sounds like he was well-loved. Isn't it a blessing that he left you with such memories? You probably have more you can write about him.
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Review of Jenny's Jungle  
Review by SandraLynn
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
*BalloonR*Welcome to WDC from"Newbie Welcome Wagon!*BalloonR*[/center}Hello! This is a short piece, but to the point. I do disagree with you though. Sure as an adult there are unpleasant, dreary, necessary things to do, but there is also FUN. A child does not always have the physical skills and strength to fully participate in many sports. Earning your own money is a good thing too because you choose when and how you spend it. As a grown-up you can travel without your parents, and usually by that time your parents stop telling you what to do. Adults may also eat whatever they want. Being an adult who still thinks like a child is a possibility.
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Review of second chance  
Review by SandraLynn
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from"Newbie Welcome Wagon!*BalloonR*
Hello! Wow, this is a simple, but powerful piece of free-style poetry. Mental illness/depression must be a dark place. This writing evokes optimism and hope. I really like the imagery of the line, "even though my future is unclear my decisions are". My only suggestion is that you either write "my choice is not a product of being a mistake" or "my choices are not a product of being a mistake". Please continue to create.
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Review of Death  
Review by SandraLynn
Rated: E | (3.5)
[e:balloonR}Welcome to WDC from"Newbie Welcome Wagon!*BalloonR*
Hello! I enjoy reading the writing of people new to WDC. You've composed a poem about the suddenness of death. Yes, I agree, life is fleeting. We cannot cheat death, true, so true. In the final line, did you intend to use the word 'of', not 'off'?
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Review by SandraLynn
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from"Newbie Welcome Wagon ! *BalloonR*
Hello! This is a well-written piece. You've described the struggle to achieve/strive. Is it ever enough? I'd suggest not using quotation marks for the bit about "smile does not suit his face". There seems to be a word or a verb missing when Mr.J broke the reverie: "and into a personal chat". Did you mean to write that he 'offered' some tea? The line beginning in a bracket, "how the hell", needs to begin with a capital letter. Please continue to write.
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Review by SandraLynn
Rated: E | (3.5)
*BalloonR*Welcome to WDC from"Newbie Welcome Wagon !*BalloonR*
hello! I was curious about this piece; your title caught my eye. Yes, man is a complicated creature, I agree. Each of us has the power to make decisions or not.
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