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356 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by SandraLynn
Rated: E | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon ! *BalloonR*
Hello! Wow! This is a great piece of poetry. It's powerful and descriptive. Kudos for your spelling, too. Many writers are lax about this. I like that you've compared youth to " a blistering spark". They can be volatile, but in a positive way, and they are volcanos of endless energy. Keep writing.
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Review of TWO TEARS IN JADE  
Review by SandraLynn
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
WOW! This is a very well-written story with an unexpected twist. I like your descriptions and the story flows really well. Kudos for your spelling, too! My only suggestions are to use the comma more in order to emphasize your writing. At the beginning, the "am" you refer to should have periods in the short form. It is "a.m.". "heavy breathing " should have a hyphen as in, "heavy-breathing". Here is an example of a comma placement: "shedding tears for her, she thought". A comma and a hyphen are needed in this line:" Closing her eyes, she tried to court sleep, but the in-flight movie". I think the word "how" in the line, "how she had designed", should be "as she designed". In the line, "That he was deceiving". would be better if you dropped the word "that". In many cases, you've neglected to place a comma before the word,"but". When using more than one descriptor, place a comma between the words. With phrases like, "within an hour" and "In that instant", a comma separates the phrase from the rest of the sentence. "Then return to the back of the line" should be "then returning". With the use of the word "however" a comma is commonly placed before and after it. "The pitch of his cry of despair from was unearthly." The "from" is unnecessary. "She remembers waking that Monday morning'". Add a semi-colon after this phrase before continuing with" out of a job". I really enjoyed reading this!
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Review by SandraLynn
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is HILARIOUS! A tale of woe similar to the drunk driver swerving because he kept seeing a tree "jump" out at him. The "tree" was a pine air freshener hanging from the rear view mirror. I've heard this joke before, but your telling is well-written. I love your rhymes. You managed to find a rhyme for "oblique". The opening stanza really sets the tone and explains the befuddled state of the hapless husband. I really laughed at the final two stanzas. Imagine being quick-witted enough , despite a hangover, to deliver a polite apology and an abject admission of "sin".
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Review by SandraLynn
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon ! *BalloonR*
Hello! It is wonderful to have spring back! I like this poem. It does seem as if two titans are battling for control of our weather. Spring is an iffy season; very unpredictable. Your rhyming is good. Your meter is not consistent, but this is not too big of an issue. I cannot fault your spelling.
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Review of Not Enough Time  
Review by SandraLynn
Rated: E | (3.0)
{font;arial} *BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon ! *BalloonR*
Hello! This is a great idea for a story. Yes, a wedding can be stressful. The third line needs the word "if" as in "What if his soon to be wife...". I am confused. You write that he is rushing out of the house, but then you mention he is rushing around in his house. He cannot be in two places at the same time. You should use commas to separate words like "so" and "but". A female "fiancé" has two of the letter "e"; fiancée. In dialogue, the second word in the phrase does not need to be capitalized. "You look a little red and out of breathe!" The word is "breath"; the noun form of this word. "Breathe" is a verb.
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Review of The Cold  
Review by SandraLynn
Rated: E | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon ! *BalloonR*
HELLO! This is a very well-written and crafted piece of poetry. Grief is a powerful emotion. It can be all-consuming. Memories both hurt and heal. "Cold" is an apt word/imagery for death and grief.
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Review by SandraLynn
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*BalloonR* welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon ! *BalloonR*
Hello! Well, you certainly are blunt. Obviously, you rail against academia. I like your use of the word "regurgitate". I can't say that I've ever read that word used in a piece of poetry before, and spelled correctly, too. You actually spell and use your words well. You are familiar with our complicated language, English. Yes, the university study of this subject does involve getting to know and perhaps, "emulate", the "masters". Unfortunately, many people do not appreciate creativity or fresh-thinking. I remember essay writing. What cheek you have to rhyme "Poe" with "2.0".
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Review of The Cold  
Review by SandraLynn
Rated: E | (4.5)
{e"balloonR} welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon ! {e"balloonR}
Hello! What a beautiful and haunting poem you have composed. You describe sorrow and grief so chillingly. I commend you for your spelling; too many writers think it unimportant.
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Review of Longing  
Review by SandraLynn
Rated: E | (3.0)
*BalloonR* welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon ! *BalloonR*
Hello! You write emotionally of lost love. I have one suggestion. I believe you meant to write "ripened olives" not "ripen olives".
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Review of Hear Me Cry  
Review by SandraLynn
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
{e;balloonR} Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon ! *BalloonR*
Hello! Wow, what a powerful piece of writing! I like the comparison of addiction to waiting for the next wave to hit. It's a vicious circle, but the idea of being pummeled by a rogue wave is frightening. Like a wave, the urges are uncontrollable. This is some solid writing. Yes, there should be more! There are a few misspellings. "Seventh call, no one answered." "She begins to breathe." I would suggest the use of more commas.

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Review of Familiar Stranger  
Review by SandraLynn
Rated: E | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Invalid Item *BalloonR*
Hello! I must say I was really moved by this story! How often do any of us wonder about our fellow travellers? Everyday, we potentially see the same group of people, but we don't know all of them, or perhaps, any of them. This was a poignant vignette. I like how you described both your routine and that of the woman. The only criticism I can offer is that you might consider using a few more well-placed commas.
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Review of Motion Blur  
Review by SandraLynn
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon ! *BalloonR*
Hello! I was intrigued by the title of your piece of writing. Life does seem to occur in blurred motion. You are describing fleeting moments; over and finished far too quickly. Your message is a powerful one. We do not have time for regrets. Live life well. I cannot fault your spelling or punctuation.
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Review of Meaning  
Review by SandraLynn
Rated: E | (3.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon ! *BalloonR*
Hello! Usually, I review short stories or poetry. This is a very short piece of writing and it's not a tale of some kind. This is an inspirational message. Okay, your spelling is good. I agree, time and how you choose to share it, is important.
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Review by SandraLynn
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*
Hello ! You certainly write with clarity and conviction. I like that you compared penance to a shadow; neither can be avoided. Your spelling seems to be impeccable. It's not "my" Canadian spelling, but I realize the British and the Americans have their own standards!
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Review of random words  
Review by SandraLynn
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon ! *BalloonR*
Hi! I was intrigued by the title of your poem. You have composed some lovely descriptive passages here. I must admit that I find the first two stanzas awkward. The grammar seems to be lacking. The second two stanzas are better written. You describe being in love very well here. I like the idea of "a joint sky".
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Review of Color Biased  
Review by SandraLynn
Rated: E | (3.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon ! *BalloonR*
Hello! You have captured a rhyme here. I have seen many a child cradling a beloved stuffed animal, and many of them do it to self-soothe. I understand the beginning of this poem, but I don't "get" the final section with the colour pink. The rhythm is a little rough; each line is a different syllable length.
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Review of Grandpa & Jack  
Review by SandraLynn
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello!
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon ! *BalloonR*
I like your setting and characters. This reads like a movie script. The dialogue between Gampa and Jack is cute and believable. Certainly, a baby can be a non-judgmental listener.
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Review by SandraLynn
Rated: E | (5.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon ! *BalloonR* {/center{ Hello! This is an incredible piece of writing and a heartfelt ode to your wife. You've captured the special closeness the two of you shared. keep up the writing!
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Review of Disguise  
Review by SandraLynn
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon ! *BalloonR*
Hello! This is a short succinct piece of poetry. This reminds me of the song lyrics, " I can see clearly now the rain is gone". You've described freedom and discovery.
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Review by SandraLynn
Rated: E | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon ! *BalloonR*
Hi! This poem is a delight to read. It has great flow and I like that the final line is repeated in each stanza. Writing in the first person gives this poem extra punch.To experience winter is to be an optimist. Spring always returns.
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Review by SandraLynn
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon ! *BalloonR*
Hi! This is a very well-composed piece describing your carefree friendship and your catastrophic loss. I like how you liken your shock and disbelief to your spirit somersaulting. Walking as "shoe line express" is also clever. You have a way with words.
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Review of A Moment in Time  
Review by SandraLynn
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon ! *BalloonR*
Hi! You describe a beautiful serene moment at the beach very well. Your imagery creates a lovely scene. I cannot fault your spelling: don't laugh, many people don't consider this important.
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Review of For Destiny  
Review by SandraLynn
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon ! *BalloonR*
Hello! I like your limerick. It's light-hearted and fun: just like play with a cherished granddaughter should be. I myself have two granddaughters and they too refer to me as nanny. There are no truer words about a child's behaviour than "as good as she could"!
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Review by SandraLynn
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon ! *BalloonR*
Hello! I like that you've likened the creative process with the actions of a cat. Creativity can't always be forced; I agree. At times, it is whimsical and indifferent.
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Review of Clumsy Queen  
Review by SandraLynn
Rated: E | (3.5)
{font:arial" *BalloonR* welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*
Hi! Let me just admit that I too am clumsy. My family calls me a klutz and I've weathered many an accident because of this! I prefer to laugh about it. I can't prevent it; it's a very real part of my life. I understand when you write "it's in every fiber of my muscles". It's not so bad if you no longer have to be a dishwasher! I like your writing style. It's personal and funny. You have a few issues with verb tenses and run-on sentences. With an edit, you could use periods more. Your friends certainly have a sense of humour; they are quoting Abba!
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