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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/natechia
Review Requests: OFF
272 Public Reviews Given
Review Style
I will give you an honest review, straight forward. I believe that we improve when we know what and when to better something or ourselves. I am also learning but through this interaction of giving and taking we will both become knowledgeable. I try and always look at a piece from an artistic point of view and then from a grammatical point of view.
I'm good at...
I like to read poetry, fiction, comedy, educational articles. I also like to read scripts, I also write screenplays and know what the criteria is.
Favorite Genres
Fiction/nonfiction sci-fiction Poetry Comedy Crime Thriller
Least Favorite Genres
Erotica Gore (vampires, trolls)
Favorite Item Types
Short stories Poetry
Least Favorite Item Types
Erotic poetry Anything to do with sacrifices,hell,devil
I will not review...
I will not review anything that has explicit in detail sex scenes and anything that is overly graphic in terms of a murder scene.
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of Goodnight I Say  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Scholar* *Scholar* *Scholar* *Scholar*


WELCOME TO THE WRITING. COM COMMUNITY!


This community provides you with the opportunity to grow as a writer. There are many different contests, genres and people to explore. Take the time to introduce yourself to us. Remember we are not perfect but we understand the craft of writing.

Once more a warm welcome!


*ButtonForward* YOUR POEM *ButtonRewind*

*Clapper* TITLE:
Your title is definite and ads an air of confidence from the writer. You use your title in the poem predominantly in the first stanza and then it alters in the remainder of the stanzas. Eventhough, that takes place it does in no way diminish the concept.

*Equalizer* TONE/DICTATION:
Your dictation and tone are of someone attempting to find themselves in a way we use the night (moonlight), mirror and window. These elements are linked to exploring who we are as people, whether guidance through the moon, accepting our own image in a mirror or dreaming of the world beyond the window.

*Camera* IMAGERY/SOUND:
So we are teased with our senses listening to machines, brushing teeth, gazing through the window and visually observing the rays pass through the window. Great job at the subtle but observable use of senses!

*Shuffle* FLOW/RHYME:
When I first read this poem it felt like a Dr.Seuss build-up, which would be interesting. His style is unique and I'd love to see someone build off of that style. It flows for me and the rhyme works but adding certain punctuation and removing some clutter words could enhance this even further.

*Headphones* FAVORITE:

"So i say, with enough delay.
Good night
Sleep tight
May dreams be of delight."


*Turntable* REPETITION:
There is repetition, particuliarly in the second stanza and the i not being capitalized is an issue.

*Speaker* SUGGESTIONS:
Try writing a few versions of this poem by adding or removing certain words. In the last stanza, I would place a period at the end of line 2 and 3 for a greater closing. You have a great set of bones here!


WELL DONE!

I look forward to reading more of your work in the future.

Keep writing!

All the best,
Natechia dos Reis

*PointRight*Everything said in this review is from my personal experience as a reader. You can use some of these points or discard this review.

*RainbowL* A Review from "Simply Positive Review Forum !*RainbowR*



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2
2
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Vignette5* Dear Sarah *Vignette5*

*Info* This is my personal opinion. You may use this review or discard.

*PenBl* PERSONAL MESSAGE TO YOU *PenBl*

Robert Mugabe became president of Zimbabwe a few weeks before I was born. All my life I have heard the personal stories of the monster who lived next door. To have seen him fall in my life feels like a victory. That being said, to read this personal essay of someone whom I admire that conquered this bully, is evidence to me that we can be victorious whether we are dealing with a real-life bully or the symbolic one- like the world.


*Fleurdelis* YOUR ESSAY *Fleurdelis*

You have written a personal essay with such detail and emotion. Capturing moments like snapshots of history. For this, I say thank you isn't a strong enough expression, because you are sharing a recent, and for me your neighbor, incredible story.

I enjoy your format for this essay. You make this account come full circle by adding personal pictures.

*Tag* FINAL THOUGHTS

Every sentence captivated me and I feel honored to have read how my friend and fellow writer put her stamp on a historical moment!


Thank you again for the honor and keep writing my fellow writer.

Greetings,
Natechia dos Reis

*RainbowL* A Review from "Simply Positive Review Forum !*RainbowR*



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3
3
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi River ,

I enjoyed reading this list of things to do here on WDC. It sounds all too familiar to me because I too write lists like this one and have tried to do some much needed 'catching up'. Many writers go through an effort to leave reviews, a thumbs up on one of your comments or even notice your absence. Sometimes we only want to have our writing reviewed or win that contest and forget of the whole community that comes with our words.

They deserve our special attention and time. I have done my list and have read incredible pieces of writing, met new writers and enjoyed seasoned writers work. I will continue to make my lists and hope that by reviewing this piece we can inspire others to expand their horizons on WDC and meet the incredible people who compose our community!

Thank you for sharing your writing and process with us!

Greetings, Natechia


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4
4
Review of Forced into Being  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Tim Chiu ,

I came across this powerful poem. According to the description of your poem, I would say you achieve this effect in the tone and choice of words that build up to the positive outcome.

My favorite:
Love can lead to head-scratching, but faithfully, I trod –
A love so true and blessed as this, quite trustingly I nod,
I sacrifice peace to hold her hand, the holy name of God,
Is such a lake for catching fish, with prayerful reel and rod!


Thank you for sharing this amazing piece of writing.

Greetings, Natechia.



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5
5
Review of Memories.  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
WELCOME TO WDC!!!

I enjoyed this poem. It has many of the poetic elements and you have a beautiful way of teasing our senses. A strong message is conveyed to the reader to cherish memories and moments.

My favorite:
'A tangerine moonlight isolates itself as an image of beauty.
In the otherwise cream and blue colored sky.
Old Stars glow and grow old until they fail to shine.
The others seem to glisten forever.'


Suggestions:
The third line- drop the 's' from pines
Make the font larger. This will allow for a better read.
Try a version where you place line breaks.

I truly enjoyed this piece and can't wait to read more of your work.

Greetings Natechia.




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6
6
Review of The Fall  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Dear Antonia ,
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*ExclaimBl* Please note these are my thoughts and can be used by you or not.

This is a reasoning poem. Your poem walks us through the reason why we love and why we ultimately have a heart. The story build up is exceptional in taking us through what happens and the strength this organ has in dealing with this powerful emotion. SUPERB!

*Medalgold* TITLE

I love the title because it is simple and poignant. It's strong in the sense you use it throughout your poem in various verb tenses and in the second to the last stanza you use the actual title. This pulls the reader in.

*Medalgold* TONE/DICTATION

The tone is, to me, both of excitement and anxiety. The dictation is strong in bringing this to the reader's attention.The way you have built up the story around how this emotion takes a hold of us is where we can feel the excitement and anxiety. BRAVO!

*Medalgold* IMAGERY/SOUND

I could read this poem and feel my senses being teased. An outstanding job in provoking our senses.

*Medalgold* FLOW/RHYME

The flow is good, I think this a perfect flow for the message you are trying to relay to your readers.

*Medalgold* FAVORITE


"Love and pain,
are one in the same.
It’s the synonym,
I can live with., perhaps
To fight and love in equal measure.
It’s the contradiction,
I can live with."

*Medalgold* REPETITION

There is some repetition of the term love and the expressions: 'In his eyes and in his touch.' Although it doesn't slow the poem down in terms of flow, perhaps a second draft you could exclude these expressions and see if it makes an impact on the overall composition. Regardless, your poem flows gracefully.

*Medalgold* SUGGESTIONS

In a second version beginning your poem with the last stanza first and taking it from there. This will be an excellent exercise for yourself and allow you to continue crafting this poem.

All in all, keep it because this is a beautiful poem. ALL IN ALL, I LOVE IT!

WELL DONE!

Look forward to reading more of your work in the future.*ThumbsUp*

Keep writing!

All the best,
Natechia dos Reis


*RainbowL* A Review from "Simply Positive Review Forum !*RainbowR*



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7
7
Review of Minty  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Firstly, *ConfettiG* A BIG WELCOME TO WDC! *ConfettiO*

*ButtonForward* The story: This is a unique story about a 'job' this animal had to do and their bond with you. I would like to encourage you to write an essay, if possible, so we may understand their tremendous bravery. They seem to be forgotten at times, and you can speak for them now. I enjoyed the playful manner of how you introduce us to Minty.

*ButtonForward* Your tone and dictation: you are set to become an amazing writer and you managed to engage some emotions in me, the reader. That is your goal as a writer. Bravo!

*ButtonForward* Poetic elements: you do have some rhyming and rhythm which allows for flow but the lack of punctuation slows this piece down. I know you will be able to make this piece great when you do your second edit.

You have a unique story here and I would love to see what you can do with it, either using it as a base for a short story, essay or article. But also different poetic versions.

Welcome again, and I can't wait to read more of your work.

All the best and keep writing,

Natechia dos Reis


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8
8
Review of Travel Pictures  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you for sharing this photo album with us. I love to travel and the US is on my list of countries to visit. I'm an amateur photographer and one of my favorite things to photograph is flowers and sculptures. So I had to comment on your photos.

You have an incredible eye for detail and your exposure is amazing. I see so many incredible stories in each image.

Truly enjoyed seeing a bit of the beauty of the US.
9
9
Review of Bamboozled!  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Enjoyed this piece!

You have an incredibly defined voice which I devoured reading. The descriptive words to describe the horse and the amount of information we receive through the dialogue about the characters. BRAVO! The story has constant pace and we follow the plot with ease. SUPERB!

This was a treat to read. Thank you for posting it so we can read your talent.

Keep well and keep writing!


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10
10
Review of The Day I Died  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Dear Rhoswen - Goal Reacher

Firstly, I would like to welcome you to WDC!

Secondly, I was drawn to your poem because of the title. After reading your poem I must truthfully admit I sat for a while gazing at my screen and taking everything in, that is described in this poem. This is a strong emotional poem and you have written it in such a realistic way that I can see, feel and hear these words.
Our job as a writer is to bring to other people's attention real issues in a variety of ways, either through writing, film or music. You have done that here, in the way a serious matter as this should be addressed- straightforward.

I truly hope that by expressing your emotions about this traumatic event will help you deal with it a little better. Here I extend my writers hand out to you from the other side of the world and say: 'I'm here for you.'

I'm humbled that you had an extraordinary special kind of courage to post this poem.

Keep writing. Keep courageous.

Greetings,
Natechia dos Reis


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11
11
Review of Love mankind  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Greetings Alka!

WELCOME TO WDC!

I had to read this short article, it speaks to many areas I work in and am interested in. You've managed to capture many thoughts in so few words. I can sense the emotion in your writing style and understand the importance of this theme to you.

Your writing style: there are a few grammatical mistakes I picked up. For instance:
Second sentence: you wrote 'witch' - do you mean which?
Fourth sentence: 'bounded' re-read this sentence to make sure you are using the correct tense and there should be 'the' before world.
Last phrase: it should be 'heart' for a better comprehension.

My favorite: 'Ego is the creator of hatred'

Suggestions: I would try and expand this article further. I sense there is much more you want to say on this topic. I for one would like to read some more. I enjoy your poetic style of writing.

Overall an outstanding job!

Keep writing!
Natechia dos Reis


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12
12
Review of The Magical Day  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Puzzle1* *Puzzle1* *Puzzle1* *Puzzle1* *Puzzle1* *Puzzle1*


*PointRight* Your story:

Firstly, WELCOME TO WRITING.COM!

Secondly, I enjoyed reading your story. Even though this is an entry in a diary it is a topic that many people can understand for having gone through the same or having known someone who experienced this undeserving behavior. I commend you for the courage of exposing this theme to the community as one of your first writing pieces, as well as, the amount of feeling displayed in this short entry. A superb job of bravery!
.


*PointRight* Story dynamic:

You caught our attention with the realness of the characters mentioned in this entry.

The language element is personal in nature. A writer always writes what he knows, and through your words we see this accomplished in this draft.


*PointRight*
Favorite points:

"And after that, nobody teased me again. Now, people are nice to me. I mean, not like they invite me to every sleepover they have. They just don't tease me. I am finally really happy. And Wally and I stayed best friends, and will, forever.

*PointRight* Final words:

You are starting to write about what is important to you. Continue to do this because as your title states you deserve every day to be magical! You are a writer now and one of us. Many people don't have the courage you displayed with this entry and you should hold your head up to the heavens for this accomplishment.

As a creative suggestion I would say: continue to work on these diary entries, read them over to find little grammatical mistakes but also again your words could land up encouraging others. This is our job as writers, to tell the truth! Our words weigh on all that read them. Never forget! Fictional character or real life person, you're 10 years old Bruce and you have become a hero to me!

You have a gifted muse guiding an already gifted writer. I hope my simple review of your story helped. I look forward to reading more of your work.

All the best from your fellow writer,
Natechia dos Reis

*SuitDiamond* *SuitDiamond* *SuitDiamond* *SuitDiamond* *SuitDiamond* *SuitDiamond*



*RainbowL* A Review from "Simply Positive Review Forum !*RainbowR*



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13
13
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Scholar* *Scholar* *Scholar* *Scholar*


WELCOME TO THE WRITING. COM COMMUNITY!


This community provides you with the opportunity to grow as a writer. There are many different contests, genres and people to explore. Take the time to introduce yourself to us. Remember we are not perfect but we understand the craft of writing.

Once more a warm welcome!


*ButtonForward* YOUR POEM *ButtonRewind*

I enjoyed the story of your poem. Everyone has dreams which make this a theme readers can relate to and understand your desire to share them.

*Clapper* TITLE:

Even though many consider titles should be one word, I believe it should be a short taste of the story you want to tell. A title in many cases can be reinforced if you mention it in your poem. You did just that reminding the reader the point of this poem. Excellent work here!

*Equalizer* TONE/DICTATION:

You are consistent with both tone and dictation. You use a few words that could make a reader trip but your overall choice of words is great.

*Camera* IMAGERY/SOUND:

You do entice our senses with predominantly elements relating to our sense of vision. Perhaps in an alternative version of this poem you could try another sense. It is a great exercise to try and use the same poem as a backboard to attune the use of poetic elements as well as confronting the different senses.

*Shuffle* FLOW/RHYME:

There is a sense of flow and rhyming.

*Headphones* FAVORITE:

"I’d like to have a picket fence
That lines the walkway through.
To walk a cobbled stone each morn
And take in that is new. "

*Turntable* REPETITION:

In the first stanza, you have the repetition of the word 'with' and in the last stanza the repetition of the word 'would'. In both cases, it doesn't slow the flow or deter the meaning of the poem.

*Speaker* SUGGESTIONS:

As mentioned before using this poem and try starting this poem with the first stanza as last and the last as first. Try calling our attention to the other senses. Try writing this poem in another poetic format (free verse, acrostic etc). You will understand your poetic voice and refine your inner poet!



WELL DONE!

I look forward to reading more of your work in the future.

Keep writing!

All the best,
Natechia dos Reis

*PointRight*Everything said in this review is from my personal experience as a reader. You can use some of these points or discard this review.

*RainbowL* A Review from "Simply Positive Review Forum !*RainbowR*



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14
14
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*WDC* *WDC* YOUR BLOG *WDC* *WDC*


This is my opinion as a reader of blogs. In no way am I an expert on other people's opinions. I simply am trying to help your blog reach more readers like me.

*Palette* PRESENTATION:

I love your presentation of your blog. You invite us to join you on this journey. It is fun and welcoming. Colorful and visually appealing. GREAT JOB!

*Document* CONTENT:

I read a few of your entries and can understand what type of person you are and I cracked up with your humorous content. I have a similar sense of humor. You give a few glimpses into your background as a writer and as a person. How you tackle the prompts impressed me and allowed for a wonderful read.

*Tack* FAVORITE:

My favorite entry is the one of Pascal.
I will do my best to read a few more entries.



I hope the community will pay your blog a visit soon!

Greetings,
Natechia dos Reis

*RainbowL* A Review from "Simply Positive Review Forum !*RainbowR*


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15
15
Review of My Blog  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*WDC* *WDC* YOUR BLOG *WDC* *WDC*


This is my opinion as a reader of blogs. In no way am I an expert on other people's opinions. I simply am trying to help your blog reach more readers like me.

*Palette* PRESENTATION:

I read that you are trying to launch your copywriting business. Congratulations!

Your portfolio can be a way for people to see your work. You have a unique writing style and people on business websites like Linkedin will look at your work and decide they need you. A presentation is a big part of marketing your work. Your blog has beautiful and well thought out entries which would appeal to people in this line of work but it needs to have some pictures. Adding cover pictures to your work will appeal to potential businesses. This goes for your entire portfolio. I know that if you add your portfolio to your Linkedin and other social media websites this will help showcase your beautiful talent.

*Document* CONTENT:

It's diverse in nature and this makes it appealing to read.

*Tack* FAVORITE:

Your entry of October the 13th.

I hope the community will pay your blog a visit soon!

Greetings,
Natechia dos Reis

*RainbowL* A Review from "Simply Positive Review Forum !*RainbowR*


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16
16
Review of Second Chances  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Dear April ,
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*ExclaimBl* Please note these are my thoughts and can be used by you or not. The rating I give is based on me wanting to better you as a writer.

This poem is a renewed opportunity at life. We're introduced to a former queen of Egypt coming back to life in her sarcophagus, and all the emotions she feels associated with her past and her current state. It isn't easy to understand what a person would feel if they came back to life, so I applaud your effort in trying to capture the scenes and emotions. I'm familiar with your work and poetic voice, thus I believe you have done a good job here but with another pass, you'll make this a great piece.

*Medalgold* TITLE

Appropriate title. It's strong and pulls the reader in. You also use it in the last line, bringing the poem full circle. EXCELLENT WORK HERE!

*Medalgold* TONE/DICTATION

The tone, to me, is both of reflection and anxiety.
The dictation is consistent in bringing this to the reader's attention. Although I know you can capture the extraordinary scenes with a revision and omit a few filler words. The last stanza shows us the reason for her existence now and these characters resolve for their future. WELL DONE!

*Medalgold* IMAGERY/SOUND

Here I would try adding more imagery and wording that call up our other senses. You inform us about the character using superficial adjectives. I know you can enrich the descriptive part, after all, we are talking about one of the richest kingdoms to have ever existed. Inform us readers through descriptive words that make our minds work. Tell us how is the queen (legendary, old, antique).

*Medalgold* FLOW/RHYME

The flow is reasonable, I think you can perfect your flow for the message you are trying to relay to your readers.I personally didn't feel a flow in certain parts . You also use an adverb, in most cases try and avoid these in poetry, it slows your creative writing down. In this poem, it works in that line. I'm sure with a rewrite you will nail this poem on the head!

*Medalgold* FAVORITE

"Skin that shriveled and rotted long ago
is fresh with a new glow"

*Medalgold* REPETITION

There is the repetition of the words 'and' and 'with' throughout the poem.In the first stanza the last line you have two 'are' present. A few filler words slow your poem down. Again, you will correct these with a rewrite because I know your calibre.

*Medalgold* SUGGESTIONS

I commend you for taking on the task of tackling a character in the afterlife setting. There are a few suggestions which I have sent as an attachment to your email. Your writing has always been honey to read and I'm always honored to review your work. I know you will make this a breathless poem filled with shimmering life.


Look forward to reading more of your work.*ThumbsUp*

Keep writing!

All the best,
Natechia dos Reis





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17
17
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
At first glance you make the reader think their addiction to WDC.

I enjoyed reading this interesting dialogue. It is both engaging and flows. The different characters are distinctive and the reader can tell them apart.

Another point for me in a dialogue story- is the story! You have a start, middle and ending. We have no difficulty in following that story.

The dialogue is relatable and feels authentic. GREAT JOB!

Thank you for sharing your work.


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18
18
Review of Alone  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
HiFreddie Margot

Firstly WELCOME TO WDC!!!!
It is wonderful to welcome new members, especially on this special occasion. Please feel at home here and enjoy your time.

And now your poem:
This is a difficult and easy subject to write about. There is not one person on this planet that hasn't felt alone at one time or another. So I can understand the context of your poem.

You use the title in the poem and this is a good thing because it reminds the reader what you are discussing.

You describe many situations of being alone and finish by stating that this isn't how you want to feel. The important part of writing poetry is telling a story for the reader and making sure that they will walk away with an emotion or thought about what they just read.

You have here the 'skeletons' of a great poem. If I may ( and please note this is just my opinion you don't have to follow this at all), read different types of poetry. Learn about the elements that make up a poem. Find your voice as a poet. This takes practice, time and read, read, read and read some more.

I believe if you do so, even by reading other poets here on WDC, you'll be able to breathe life into this poem soon.

Keep writing. Keep growing as a writer.
Thank you for introducing your work to us all!


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19
19
Review of The Nectar Thief  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Exceptional!

A dialogue between you and a hummingbird. It is engaging, easy to follow and the idea- brilliant.
I enjoyed the tone and dictation. We are observers to this encounter and captured from start to finish.

The title is appropriate to the content of this poem.

You have both rhyme and rhythm in this poem which makes both pieces of dialogue entertaining. The introduction of the speakers is well placed.

Suggestions: I would say nothing. The dialogue feels natural spoken dialogue with a poetic twist.

I have had this experience of trying to photograph one of these beautiful creatures and failed. So on that note, I can relate to this poem.

Beautiful job and in my view creative writing indeed!

All the best for your future projects.


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20
20
Review of The Immigrant  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I enjoyed reading this piece. I'm familiar with the feeling of being an immigrant and much of what your father went through. My parents immigrated to South Africa from Portugal in the sixties. It is a hard life sometimes, but as you so beautifully showed it has its rewards.

Your style of writing caught my eye. One can feel the admiration pouring into these few paragraphs about your dad. It is especially heartwarming that last simple phrase at the end which brings this remarkable man's life to our eyes. Your dad is part of a generation which we should never forget and always celebrate! And you did a fine job writing these words. Thank you for introducing your father to a fellow immigrant all the way in Africa.

This is simply BRAVO!


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21
21
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is an incredible take on the life of one of the world's most charismatic icons. You show your research into the man and use keywords in this albeit small poem of what type of person he was not only to the world but also to you.

Tone: I believe you keep it similar to Ali's way of dancing around the ring. You step carefully with each placed word and it paints an image for us the reader of this man.

Dictation: Strong words!In a short poem, you punch the truth of who and what he meant to many.

Rhyme:You play with the words 'wisdom', 'stardom' and 'kingdom'.

Flow: This is consistent and tells the story from the start to the finish. We are left with no unanswered questions.

Favorite: "The earth be proud of such mortal "clay"

Suggestions: in your revision look at the filler words 'the' 'be' are they necessary or can they be taken out.

All in all, I love this dedication to a great fighter both in the ring as well as out of the ring!

Great job.
22
22
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Dear Elizjohn ,
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*ExclaimBl* Please note these are my thoughts and you can choose to use them or not.

Well done in creating chaos in the Universe!
A fast paced poem in terms of all the numerous events taking place.You've managed to take the complexity that is the Universe and nibble on a few parts that make up the whole, and then bring it all to our attention. Not an easy task.I believe you've achieved this in an absolute superb manner. BRAVO!

*Medalgold* TITLE

I love the title. It's strong, melodic and pulls the reader in. I would suggest to try and include it into your piece.

*Medalgold* TONE/DICTATION

The tone is, to me, both of excitement and revelation. The dictation is strong in bringing this to the reader's attention. Exciting events unfolding one after another and revealing the multitude of elements entwining with each other. It is as though we're witnessing an orchestra play drums and then violins and then drums. The emotional rollercoaster is portrayed beautifully by your choice of words.WELL DONE!

*Medalgold* IMAGERY/SOUND

You toy with our senses here by using words such as explosions, crash, scorches. All great indicators to bring the reader into the story of the poem. I only suggest a change to line 17 you wrote: "the sun burns and scorches and warms," for me this all sounds like different ways to say it is extremely hot. Perhaps rephrasing is in order on this line.

*Medalgold* FLOW/RHYME

The flow is good, I think this a perfect flow for the message you are trying to relay to your readers. Although look at your sentences. Avoid lazy words : like, very, that, just, unless absolutely necessary for your piece. You also use adverbs, try and avoid these in poetry. It slows your creative writing down.

*Medalgold* FAVORITE


"explosions birth new planets
and supernovas kill old stars."

*Medalgold* REPETITION

There is repetition in line 17 of the word and. In line 19 and 20 the repetition of the words while the and in line 21 and 22 those two, slows the flow of the poem. A part from these minor matters your peom flows.

*Medalgold* SUGGESTIONS

In a second version cutting or substituting the lazy words.Space your poem out for a better read. This will make your poem more presentable. All in all, keep it because this is a beautiful poem. Try also to add your title in there, in an alternative version. ALL IN ALL, I LOVE IT!

WELL DONE!

Look forward to reading more of your work in the future.*ThumbsUp*

Keep writing!

All the best,
Natechia dos Reis





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23
23
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I enjoyed this short poem. I think you achieved your point rather well. The wording is direct and depicts the emotion you want to convey: sarcasm. You also use the title in the poem so the reader can't walk away without knowing what the poem is about. Bravo!

You centered the poem and this makes the reader focus. Excellent job with this detail.

A suggestion: remove the title from the body it is already at the top. Also which version are you going for: pre-emption or preemption?

An amazing job and an awesome style!


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24
24
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Thank you for this helpful insight into product review. I have only done 1 or 2 product reviews but never knew exactly how it all went. Now I'm informed I will do my best to increase my product reviews.

This was extremely helpful and well explained. Thank you again.


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25
25
Review of Switch~A~Roo Zoo  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I enjoyed reading this poem because well I live in Africa. So I can relate to the different types of animals and their behaviours. All that being said, I love this concept of the switch. Original!

You have a good flow and a strong ending, captivating our attention with all the 'switch -a-roos'. The title draws us in and you explain the very same throughout your poem, not leaving us to doubt anything.

I love the imagery, as I said before seeing these animals many times, I will try to imagine them having this type of behaviours.

My favourite part:

The hippo has wings to fly up up and away
The alligator's hopping the kangaroo way
The penguins are living in caves like a bear
The goats are swimming around with no care

A suggestion: why not try and turn this poem into a short story.

Thank you for sharing your work.


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