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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/natechia/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/sort_by_last/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/3
Review Requests: OFF
272 Public Reviews Given
272 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I will give you an honest review, straight forward. I believe that we improve when we know what and when to better something or ourselves. I am also learning but through this interaction of giving and taking we will both become knowledgeable. I try and always look at a piece from an artistic point of view and then from a grammatical point of view.
I'm good at...
I like to read poetry, fiction, comedy, educational articles. I also like to read scripts, I also write screenplays and know what the criteria is.
Favorite Genres
Fiction/nonfiction sci-fiction Poetry Comedy Crime Thriller
Least Favorite Genres
Erotica Gore (vampires, trolls)
Favorite Item Types
Short stories Poetry
Least Favorite Item Types
Erotic poetry Anything to do with sacrifices,hell,devil
I will not review...
I will not review anything that has explicit in detail sex scenes and anything that is overly graphic in terms of a murder scene.
Public Reviews
Previous ... 1 2 -3- 4 ... Next
51
51
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Dear Tim Chiu,

This is an interesting poem. I would never have thought of writing about bowling,nevertheless in the form of a poem. So for this well done!.


TONE/DICTATION

The tone is in my opinion of passion and dedication for this sport. The dictation is strong in bringing this to the reader's attention.

IMAGERY/SOUND
This is brought forward when you use the expression:"But the sport of bowling is legendary
For its unyielding difficulties and tragic outcomes;
A toe crossing the foul line invalidates one’s pin fall,"

FLOW/RHYME
I enjoy this flow, I think this a perfect flow for the message you are trying to relay to your readers.

FAVORITE
"Ultimately, an ill-placed ball or unhindered movement
Can spell gut-wrenching doom for a bowler" I can relate to this emotion.

REPETITION
I saw no form of repetition.

SUGGESTIONS
NOTHING, keep it just this way. I LOVE IT!


Keep writing!

All the best
Natechia dos Reis



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52
52
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I ravished this piece. It's intriguing and clever. I love how you incorporated your words and the whole storyline is uniquely and well written. The dialogue is carefully crafted and I love the characters. I probably am doing exactly what your piece speaks about, in terms of conjuctions and other parts of sentences. Sorry. Still learning myself.

I believe this would be a great introduction for children to learn sentence diagramming.

Well done.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
53
53
Review of Chasing Sunsets  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Love is the theme of your story and I can see you convey it throughout the poem. I am reading this as a free verse poem. You have a story and you tell it well with the imagery. I believe the tone alternates from slow to face to slow again. I love your idea for this poem but I think you can use stronger expressions to emulate the emotions you want your reader to experience.
I know you have a wonderful poem here and if you have worked on it further I would love to read a revised version.

Great job.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
54
54
Review of c-Note Image  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
I find this an appropriate flower choice for the word brave. I hope I have it right, in saying it is a sunflower. The sunflower follows the sun all day in order to show their beauty and I believe brave people follow also a sort of "sun' in their lives to show their beauty.

Lovely image.
55
55
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
The story is engaging at the start. You incorporated the required three words adequately. The flow between scenes is done well using the dialogue. You didn't abuse dialogue tags which made the dialogue flow easier and make this an interesting read.

I believe as a flash fiction you created enough emotion to keep the reader entertained and yu took a problem and created a resolution.

I enjoyed the story. Good job.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
56
56
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a wonderful forum which helps newbies like myself better their writing and keep sharpening their pencils, so to speak. It is a relief to know that one is not alone in this community and our work will be reviewed by top individuals offering experienced opinions about our work. For me, personally as a writer, I have felt the wonderful warmth and yet honest truth about my work, which holds more value than my friends telling me "wow your good" or my conscious telling me " ah maybe you can do this".

So I appreciate all the work all of you do, to keep welcoming and helping us newbies become writers!

Thank you.
57
57
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Your word choice had a strong tone and the dictation was superb. Through the imagery words used the reader follows your story. As I read your poem I felt a slow, fast and then steady pace. Not overwhelming the reader. Well done. The title has tremendous strength and I believe it resonates within your message conveyed.

I would love to see what you could do with this poem if you took the last three lines and began your poem with these or the three lines in the middle. Sometimes you can achieve an even more intense poem by just switching around the lines.

I'm a fan of your work and hope to read more in the future.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
58
58
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This was a pleasure for me to read. I can relate to your story because I worked as a nurse in the Netherlands and took care of elderly patients who spoke to me about the war period. I was taking care of people and like you say part of world history.

You have a good narrative voice through your piece and I enjoyed the emotion you placed on describing Carl. I enjoyed reading your work and hope to read some more in the future.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
59
59
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Dear 2serious,

The changes improved your writing. Cleared the clutter words we don't see but when others read it, do. The description is superb, lively making both your characters and surroundings more believable. I know sometimes it is hard to do revisions (I hate this part), although this is where you can clear the clutter words: "like", "and", "that" and others.

Well done.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
60
60
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
I love that writing.com has opened its "doors" so to speak to the world. Every culture and country has beautiful stories that need to be shared and as writers we need to expand our reach and understanding of that same world so what better way to do this than to interact with those from other countries.

Lovely poll.
61
61
Review of countrys  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.0)
It was interesting only I kept going back to the list to see which ones I had found. If it would be possible to scratch off the list the ones already found helps the problem solver, not to try and find a word he has already found.

Other than that it was fun. I enjoyed it. Well done.
62
62
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
The story line sounds solid. The dialogue is excellent. Keeps the reader entertained and also following which in turn will bring them to the end of your chapter. Your characters are extremely creative. Well done.

My favorite part:
"Patrons called him Giggles because he couldn’t crack a smile without breaking bones.
The beverages that Giggles created always got the job done. No one could ever claim The Shop stiffed them in that respect. In fact, most patrons left the bar so completely smashed that they couldn’t put up a fight when Giggles and Rabbit met them in the alley outside and relieved them of the rest of their cash."

All the best with both books.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
63
63
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Dear a Sunflower in Texas,

This is an interesting piece you have written. Extremely informative about bipolar and the effects it has on the sufferer. I know a couple who both have bipolar and it makes life challenging. They are two individuals I admire for dealing with this condition. I support your efforts to make more people aware of bipolar.

Your article is well written and as mentioned before informative. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences with the rest of the community.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
64
64
Review of Haiku Silly  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Dear Blue,

I truly enjoyed your Haiku. I love how you have gone against conventional Haiku (about nature) and given your Haiku an everyday theme. I'm trying to come up with a theme for my Haiku poems myself, but I think a writer who challenges the conventional is a true artist.

Well done. Excellent work.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
65
65
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
Dear fellow writer,

I like the story it is engaging. Here are some of my thoughts on grammar and the story. You are welcome to use some of my suggestions or discard them. My thoughts are as follows:

ADVERBS
"Discreetly", "suddenly x 3", "slowly","painfully x 2", "quietly"," emotionally x 2", "shakily","softly", "hysterically", "totally" in total 20.Try and avoid using too many adverbs in creative writing. It weakens your storytelling ability, which you have. Just needs some sharpening.

WEAK WORDS

"Really","very", "almost", "suddenly" try and use another expression, a more powerful one.

SAID

You use 6 other words. An example:"I answered "Hello?". Read your piece again and see id answered the best expression here? If you feel it is then leave it.

HOMONYM
You have 93. These are words which are written differently but sound similar.
( Try the following website www.editminion.com it will tell you what is in excess and it will help you be a stronger writer.)


PREPOSITION END
I noticed 15. You end a few lines with "over". Another is in line 12 of your story you end with "out". Line 19 you end with "down". Lines 37 and 38 you end again with "over". Line 44 "inside" and line 45 "over". Read through your passage to see where you have ended with more prepositions.

PASSIVE VOICE

Passive voice I noticed 9 occurrences. I will give you an example of one."I was used to receiving very brief texts". Again read through this passage and try and make this speech more expressive, loose the "was".

CLICHES
I only use them if I want a particular one to be in the piece. I didn't see any here.

All in all I enjoyed the story. I believe if you take a look at it again you will see it differently and bring out a wonderfully engaging story. You have the talent.


Can't wait to read more material written by you.

All the best,
Natechia dos Reis


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
66
66
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.0)
This is an interesting poll. Seeing how the world feels closer yet many factors still make it seem extremely far away. I believe people should reflect more on foreigners, what made them come to this country, who did they leave behind, what do they miss from home. Perhaps I will write about my own experiences seeing that I've been a foreigner since I was 11 months old.
67
67
Review of The Letter  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This was an intense emotional read for me. The words are simple yet the emotion displayed is so real, I sit here writing this review with tears running down my face. He is right when he says 'death is death no matter what country you live in', that part spoke to me.

Although a very personal piece it is truth and in writing that is the most precious.

I enjoyed the read even though it broke me down.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
68
68
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Santiago Ryan,

BRAVO! This is a touching poem about how the world should look, rather than it is presently. I love your tone and dictation overflowing with emotion and this directs the readers to the conclusion of your poem through the flow you have in place. I enjoy writing in different languages, sometimes, certain matters sound a lot better to me in other languages than in English.

I hope you will write more, I would love to read more of your Spanish written work.

MY FAVORITE PHRASE:
"No puede venir porque el mundo con paredes es como un carcel, un carcel que roba el mundo de paz."

Well done on a brilliant piece.


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69
69
Review of Who I Was  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Dear Keaton Foster,

An amazing portrayal here. Your tone is about sadness, your dictation is pain. The imagery is superb. I love how you organize your poem, the shape and also the lengths of the lines long, short and terminating with two words allows the reader to follow through what seems a long piece in an easy manner.

MY FAVORITE PART:
"With this sea of negativity
In which I have since
Been slowly drowning
Treading water all while
Sinking just a bit more
Down into the depths"

Again a masterpiece of writing.


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70
70
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Dear Keaton Foster,

I'm back again to admire another wonderful and breathtaking poem. A strong poem. You chose a topic which is contemporary and many of your readers will be able to understand. The tone is extremely well set, once you start you need to continue to read to follow all the emotion displayed. I read it with a little girl's curiosity when dominos are hit you want to follow to the end and your poem is similar to that feeling.

Your dictation is superb!

To sum up how I feel about this piece in one word could only be: BRAVISSIMO!!!

I am going to return to your folders to try and discover more of your treasures.

Thank you for such an amazing talent.


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71
71
Review of Vanishing Love  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Sum1,

I love free flowing poems, I try also do make mine in this manner. Your poem even though being writen in free flowing format, has a natural flow to it. The tone varies in emotion from admiration,fear to acceptance and gratitude.

Your dictation is beautiful, you didn't flood this idea with too many adjectives but just enough to give the reader the idea and allow them to follow the emotions.

Part I enjoyed the most: the title, its beyond profund.

This was a pleasure to read, please continue to marvel us with more free flowing poetry.



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72
72
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Dear Sean M. Howland,

This is a very emotional poem. A very strong sentiment is conveyed here, one of bliss at the arrival of a muse, and yet the last two stanzas are very serious and dark.

TONE/DICTATION

The tone is initially of passion but the last two stanzas I felt sadness, sorrowful. The dictation is strong in bringing this to the reader's attention.

IMAGERY/SOUND
All the imagery you use is very vivid and the reader has no problem in identifying where you are trying to go with your poem.

FLOW/RHYME
I enjoy this flow, I think this a perfect flow of the message you are trying to relay to your readers. It starts slow, then builds up, then slowly slows down.

FAVORITE
"Beauty appears, invades my space, tempts my sight.
Her presence enticeing my heart to reach new heights."


REPETITION
There is no repetition that I could see and your line breaks are perfect, in my opinion.

SUGGESTIONS
I love your build up and the wording is sublime, only for me the second half of the third stanza and the last stanza they break the poem up, in the sense of emotion. You have this amazing passion going as you observe this person and then it goes dark, not in a gradual way. If that could have been a little more gradual I personally would have loved this poem on a level 8! I LOVE IT!


Keep writing!

All the best
Natechia dos Reis



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
73
73
Review of Tranformation  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Dear phoenixalex,

It is a very interesting piece. I can see where you are trying to go with your words. You did say it is a start and I think it is a powerful one. Refine it a little, add some more verses and I'm sure you can have a positive piece here.

Well done, keep writing and don't forget maths, we still need it.


Tag: *Smile* Tag: *ThumbsUp*

All the best,
Natechia dos Reis



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
74
74
Review of white light  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Dear Sara,

The poem was very strong in dictation and the tone was serious. There was flow but not consistent,which I enjoy. Your imagery and sound was present through out the piece. There are a few words I would change but that's my style and every writer has their own style.

I love that you ended the poem with the title rounding it off completely.

Keep writing.

All the best,
Natechia dos reis


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
75
75
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Dear Keaton Foster,

I enjoyed this biographical piece. It really shows us inside the depths of a writer and what one can accomplish as a writer. I have written so many things and yet I never thought anything of it until I joined writing.com and met people who were willing to give me straight up answers to my one question:" Am I writer?" I think this piece shows a part of what this author accomplished and hopes to accomplish in the future, and that is inspirational to those just taking their first steps.

Thank you for the piece.

All the best,
Natechia dos Reis


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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