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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/ncgrove
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4 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Burning Boat
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I couldn’t stop reading. The pace was perfect, and I love your choice of words. I like how the tensions slowly grows throughout the story and climaxes with murder. So thrilling! And I really liked how The narrator presents the different red and green objects at different points in the story to keep things centered and flowing nicely. It also seemed to build tension for me.
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Review of BRAVE  
Review by Burning Boat
Rated: E | (2.5)
You could change the word "sink" on line 8 to "sunk" or you could change the whole line to say "and I've seen my ship go under" or "I've seen my ship going down".

I like how you saved yourself for the rhythm at the ending in the last three lines, but why save it for the end? trying to create this rhythm throughout the entire poem by doing it at the beginning, middle and end as well- You might keep the reader's attention longer.
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