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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/neilfury
Review Requests: ON
19 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of You Come Too Late  
Review by Dr Gonzo
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is the kind of poem that can be read and read again and still it retains such depth and sorrow and hope and emotion that pours from every syllable and line. The pain we feel is God's reminder that we are still alive.

In time, the pain dissipates and memories fade...and like the new green grass that grows the sweetest shoots only after the fires have passed, new love can only come after the wildfire that has ravaged and scorched a heart black, only time makes it possible to turn the sour taste of loss into the sweetest of loves.
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Review of The Puppet  
Review by Dr Gonzo
Rated: E | (4.5)
Nicely written poem on a subject that not just effected Americans but the entire world...we held our breath and sent our thoughts and prayers hoping that you would not tolerate the situation and gather enough support to make a change for the better.

I have no doubt this poem contributed towards that goal and played a part. It is the small things each individual did that has brought sanity and respect back to the office of the United States of America and to the world.

I know for many Australians it felt like we had lost a friend over the last four years, but we never lost faith in your system or your people...who rose to the challenge and made it a one term presidency...and knowing how reluctant you would normally be to do that and making the win for the Democrates even more significant.

Thank you Lisa, for writing this piece and for your contribution towards making the United States truly great again.
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Review by Dr Gonzo
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Great piece of SciFi writing. Descriptive and paints a clear picture in the mind of the reader.

A tragic story of a successful programmer who inadvertently kills his entire family via AI home defence when they arrive home early while he is temporarily offline.

Well thought out with smart concepts which are not too far into our future.

I have a notoriously short attention span but this piece held me and that in itself makes it a worthy read.

Well done and good luck with the competition.

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Review by Dr Gonzo
Rated: E | (4.0)
Yo Dog...I like this concept of freewriting word art. Letting go of the boundaries and constraints we are told we must follow from a young age limits the artistic quality to some degree I think...but may also affect the overall readability of the piece...nothing comes for free in life and each time we move in one direction it is certain we move towards one thing and away from another...but what if we want it all?

You wrote this seven years ago according to the copyright date...seven years is a long time to learn and develop skills and develop habits good and bad. I hope you now look back and see those improvements and are proud of the effort you have made to get here and now.

Well done.
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Review of Easily Forgotten  
Review by Dr Gonzo
Rated: ASR | (2.5)
I read your story and I felt for you...not pity but understanding.

I'm a drug addict and when I read what you think of me it hurt...because I would not kick you and I would not say I am glad I never turned out like you. I have a disease which I accept full responsibility for...if I had never touched a drug I would not be an addict. But if you look back, can you honestly say you did nothing to bring about your own situation? Are you free from responsibility for your own life?

I have a good friend and she at one stage in her life became a prostitute...and you when say you are glad you never turned out like her and had to sell your body to stay alive, that hurts...it hurts me that you look down on us when you yourself say you have had it so hard...we have all had it hard and I don't think it is OK to kick other people just because other people have kicked you.

I am sorry for this alone...that you feel you are glad you are not like me yet, you don't even know who I am to make that judgement.
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Review of Where did she go?  
Review by Dr Gonzo
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem by Norbanus is an accurate reflection of what life could be like if Alzheimer's were to inflict its symptoms upon a person.

It is quite confronting in its approach...and goes far beyond sad. Almost a blueprint for what some of the challenges might be once this disease ravages our memories and changes who we are.

My father developed dementia, which has similar symptoms and this poem is eerily similar to what he and us who loved him went through.

The writing is beautiful and the subject matter very well thought through...a class performance by a seriously talented writer and poet.
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Review of Lost Boy ~ Weep  
Review by Dr Gonzo
Rated: E | (5.0)
For me, having such limited experience, knowledge of styles and technique in poetry, I must rely solely on how the work makes me feel...and this poem certainly made me feel...sadness that is palpable and deep...longing for the past, that could reflect in anyone's life who is not so young anymore...pain...so much pain.

I am a writer of poems, but I know I am no poet...and this work was written by a poet...someone who knows how to capture feelings and emotions in their essence and deliver them in powerful and beautiful verse.

Simply outstanding...and I say that with tears in my eyes.
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Review of Ass On Fire  
Review by Dr Gonzo
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This song reminds me of my trip to Thailand in 2018...curry tastes so good but the next morning it comes back to haunt the ass...Burn baby burn, disco inferno, burn baby burn, burn my ass down.
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Review by Dr Gonzo
Rated: E | (4.5)
It wasn't just going to college and getting an education that was going to change Ruby's life...Ruby is a young woman who has an overactive mind and I suspect her imagination is the same way. With everything in her life going wrong,she has a mini-breakdown and begins hallucinating and sees a ghost who gives her some spiritual guidance. If she didn't believe before, she certainly will now that she has imagined herself a Christian...and God bless her for accepting Him and not putting it down to the frat house party she was at the night before and one of those naughty but handsome boys spiking her drink...no I made that up and she really did see a ghost...well, I assume she was a ghost...why can't something like that happen to me so I could shed my atheism and get with the program...oh, and heaven sounds better than nothingness or worse...is it hot today?

Good story, well written and entertaining with that little twist at the end I never saw coming.
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Review by Dr Gonzo
Rated: E | (3.5)
This is a well thought out piece on a subject I do find fascinating...with a question leading off which I must admit I find a bit confusing. No Adam or Eve may or may not undermine Christianity...I do like your take that (I assume this is what you mean) in a literal sense, the stories contained within the bible are based in truth. But truth is only what we believe it to be in stories where evidence is either gone over time or never existed in the first place and the stories were written in an ideological sense. Somewhat like a blueprint for how we humans should live, but also, in order to get us with the program, using a carrot or a stick type of reinforcement...and of course, once organised religions got hold of this beautiful concept, then corruption and greed...the very things the whole system was designed against infiltrate and exploit our want for something more than 'We live, then we die and that's it' and the fears of not following a certain doctrine or we will burn for eternity. Very dramatic stuff but that was, as they saw it, what was needed...for our own good I have to assume.

I am no expert in bible fact or fiction arguments...but I think the real questions people want answers to are...Is there a God? Was Jesus Christ the Son of God if in fact there is such a deity? Of course, these are questions no one can answer (although there are plenty who believe in God and Jesus and don't mind telling me so and just as many, if not more who do not). Far be it for me to tell either side they are wrong, but I don't like having people's beliefs (opinions), either way, being touted as fact, neither science or religion. And I do wonder why in your piece there is no mention of a Heaven or Hell, which so often goes hand in hand with the concept.

The only criticism I have of your piece is that it begins with me, the reader, thinking you are going to present an objective and balanced approach to this subject, but towards the middle and end give away who or what it is you truly represent and although you have a right to believe whatever you want to, and there will be lots of support for this here, I for one found this a little disappointing.
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Review of Snow's Space Blog  
Review by Dr Gonzo
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
An ideological piece on a future without countries...one world, one people. And if we don't annihilate ourselves first, this could happen. Never be silenced or discouraged by nay sayers or small minded people...they cannot see what you do...positivity, hope and to dream of something as brilliant as this concept is, yet in effect, is so simple. Many will resist such a world, especially those countries who are wealthy and powerful...let's just hope they see past the sacrifices and are wise enough to unite our world for the benefit of all people.
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Review by Dr Gonzo
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I am fascinated by the nasty but nice human critter, and so to it seems is Joy the Masked Ghoul. At different times I have had very different thoughts about us as a species...from loving us to despising us. Human beings show all of the characteristics of a virus...we need a host (Earth), we take from our host and give nothing in return but our toxic waste...we eventually kill it but not before infecting another...well, those last two have yet to be seen.

Now, I feel that this behaviour is part of our evolution...and if we survive our own stupidity, eventually we will become a more caring and knowledgable being...The human brain is a very complex organ, a biological computer if you will. And it has the potential to achieve things we at this stage cannot even begin to conceive...but in order for our children and their children and beyond to fulfil this destiny, we who are alive today are the only ones who can ensure their destiny is possible...by changing how we look at and treat the Earth and come to terms with its fragility and the finite nature of this planet we live on

I think the message we should all get from Joy the Masked Ghoul's story is that it is not good enough to expect someone else to make the changes required for our survival...we have run out of time and tomorrow will be too late...we all need to change NOW...withs our thoughts, our behaviours and our attitudes...and the best way to foster these changes is to pressure our so-called leaders by writing to your local representatives about your concerns and make localized suggestions for positive changes in your area...and if you are old enough by voting for candidates whose policies are pro-Earth (or getting mom and dad involved by getting them to vote in the same way), or better still...become a leader and lead us away from this catastrophe and towards a sustainable and better future.
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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/neilfury