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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/neuron
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336 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of A Moment's Peace  
Review by Johnny O
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
A bottomless dumpster now that is a cool trick to assist with the environment. A thoroughly enjoyable read from beginning through to the end or could the end simply be yet another beginning?

Suddenly within the blue bin Angelo began to feel around and realized that he was being silly! Just stand up! Once he was back on his two feet he thought I can push back open the lid. Well, he was suddenly feeling very good about his chances of getting back out of the bin. Without any further delay he pushed off his knees and surged to his feet and hit his bandaged head on the inside of the lid knocking him out cold.

Angelo awoke back in an unfamiliar hospital and panic gripped him inside. "Nurse, have you seen my wife?" The nurse looked upon him with a puzzled look. Angelo you know that you don't have a wife, no children either you never married! Are you trying to get me to not sign your release? Panic gripped Angelo and his stomach began to turn. "Perhaps I did hit my head too hard nurse, perhaps it would be for the best to rest here for awhile longer." Angelo, your fine quit pulling my leg and get going home, your discharged.

Angelo reluctantly left the hospital and drove home without incident. Upon entering his home, it was odd that he had never put up any photos, pictures, art nothing on the walls. Nothing... no souvenirs of memorable outings, nothing.

Well nothing to do here, I'm going to go back to work. When Angelo arrived at where his pizzeria was located he was startled to discover that is was just an empty parking lot for the shoe store next door! His restaurant didn't exist!

Angelo raced back home with the thought to call out to someone he knew to try and overcome his memory loss issues.
:)
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2
Review by Johnny O
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
My personal opinions:
10) Now that the FED is a private enterprise, we are now all enslaved to it on the planet.
Now if we look at this situation more closely, we can perhaps link the families associated. They do list who is a member or the groups that have a vested interest in it.
9) No input
8) No input
7) No input
6) The time it took to ratify was not taken into account for this doccument.
5) No input
4) No input
3) No input
2) No input
1) Nero tried to blame the Christian community (Catholics) for the fire and its creation. They held Nero to account for that fact.

Personally the war between ideals has not changed. We are all of us enslaved to the ideals of opposite opinions with no end of this from occuring.

I did so enjoy this article!
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Review of Thou Shall Rise  
Review by Johnny O
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Faith and fate within the construct of hope. A very moving piece to be certain. I do not think you require any edits and or corrections. It is perfect as it is written.
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Review by Johnny O
Rated: E | (4.0)
Love is light and darkness is the absence of love. I loved once upon a dream but alas without direct inclusion and interaction it dies and darkness prevails yet again. Most of the time we are in darkness. Light only happens once in awhile when we stumble upon it within ourselves.

I gave you what points I have. enjoyed the read thank you for sharing.
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Review of The Night I Died  
Review by Johnny O
Rated: E | (4.0)
Yes, death is an end but also a beginning. We die more than once in life and there are many different reasons. I died when, father died at 12. I died each time I became homeless. I died when my dog passed away. I would give you gift points but I am empty at present, sorry.
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Review of Prey  
Review by Johnny O
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
So her date wanted to feed her to his pet python only to be the meal consumed!

We had a snake on the circus one year and the trainer held it loose while the Shrine band played their tunes. Suddenly, the snake was on the ground curling into a coil well the band picked up their tempo LMFAO! The trainer took a sack he had on his belt and stuffed the python back into it smiling and saying that it was the snakes lunch time lol.

The relief on the band's faces was there for all to see lol.

Great piece... I don't see a need for too much expansion.
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Review by Johnny O
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Thanks for the welcome!
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Review of On Capitol Hill  
Review by Johnny O
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
On Capital Hill every deal has a string;
When the greedy and corrupt play and sing.
Where money is the focus and law's corrupt.
Where the speaker does keep score without interrupt.
Ensuring that the status quo will never win.

Back in the day their rules were crystal clear,
When money took second versus those held dear.
Justice reigned over the corrupt on Capital Hill.

These days truths are twisted into many lies.
Where they lay in wait greasing their wallets.
Where fake news comes from their flapping lips.
We bare witness to a nation in debt.
Enslaved to the point of collapse and ruin.
Because morality is lost upon a greedy hand.

In God We Trust?!

Wow you're writing is great! Please do keep sharing.

9
9
Review by Johnny O
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I am on fluoxetine 60mg per day to battle this demon we all know as depression (Prozac). You're not alone in the feeling that school does not have culture. It's the person that brings their culture into the facilities! Ethnicity is the cornerstone of culture!

I am unable to stomach feeling within a closet filled with the knowledge from another persons point of view especially when it does not take into consideration the individuals being taught. So therefore, we each have to find out what works. We all can use some space and personal time.

Don't give into the monster of depression, find a way for positive expression within the structure and confines of suppression.

Thank you for sharing your personal situation. CHEER UP!!
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Review of Song of love  
Review by Johnny O
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
It's written well. I write to rhythms and melodies also. I always have been able to do so, I find the process of creation a good healing wind for the soul.
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Review by Johnny O
Rated: E | (4.5)
Very well written. You see all can be achieved if we use the old ancient method of just printing money and funding government at 100% rather than debt chasing and crying broke which is a sad joke. Right now due to restrictions that were lobbied in place we have a reactionary governmental model in practice. Have you ever noticed that in politics present day the powers that be react to things after the tragedies have occurred? A sad truth.

The monetary values are based upon the needs of the few over the many trying to retain their grips on the market they have and not on the infinite value of life itself. We have to stop this practice of trying to place a value upon life.

A single currency where all are equal has to be based on life and its infinite value and not the current idea of a fractured world creating suffering and death through inaction based upon material wealth.

A proactive society is required in order to promote life and sustain it! Global warming is here to stay for example and we all know that the waters are rising so where are the efforts to try and retain land mass?

Please keep writing and I hope my idea takes root with everyone about freeing humanities potential rather than stifling it.
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Review by Johnny O
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is very well written as well as very true.

I was sacrificing my principals and inner self for money in the past with my work in entertainment facilitating other peoples dreams for profit and charitable purposes.

Finally I saw the light, severed most of my associations and started upon my inner self. I am constantly evolving and my writing is an extension of my progress as it is for you.

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Review by Johnny O
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow what a fun exercise and to be rewarded for something fun on top of it!

I will submit my entry separately for this is my review.

Thank you for this opportunity to participate. I was having a bit of a writer's block and this helped me overcome it.

Please keep on sending me these opportunities!
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Review by Johnny O
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
As always, very well written. Very true as well.

I have been unemployed for six of the last seven years but I never have given in to the negative. With the assistance of persistence and determination along with medication my situation is improving on a daily basis.

Please keep writing, I for one appreciate your efforts and the truth's within them
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Review by Johnny O
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Very thought provoking and deep on so many levels. I appreciate your suggestion to read it, thank you very much.

The wisdom I learned from life is that our temple is our mind which is governed by our heart and mirrored through our actions.

I entered both Masonry and the Shrine fraternities out of love that exists for them both as well as the simple fact that the fates have saved my life too many times to be coincidental.

I have taken a look within my heart and found that I have a deep love for everyone and have been giving creativity to them freely for years to make our world a better place without chasing money.

But, forsaking the pursuit of wealth creates other issues such as exclusion and the lack of material wealth/comforts. But I take comfort in helping others for I get joy out of making a difference.

The bottom line is that we all have our own questions and challenges to overcome.

Yes, I too enjoy this site and I certainly enjoyed your work.
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Review of Happiness  
Review by Johnny O
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Imagine going through life with memory loss. I tend to forget most things!

I agree with you.

I used to be in charge of multimillion dollar fundraising events but I had no personal life. I lost that job and now I am simply enjoying the opportunity every day represents.

Please feel free to read my portfolio, I reward with GPS.
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Review by Johnny O
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This is very well written. I don't see the need for improvements. This reads great as it stands.

Suggestions:
The Grandmother can be developed a bit more. A first name would be nice.

The poltergeist could also.

David could sleep over at his Grandmother's in order to try and reassure her.

David can also be developed a bit more. Getting into his habits, debts, gambling, a few run ins with Dolan.

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Review of By the Roots  
Review by Johnny O
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Again, another great bit of writing. No edits required.

Suggestions:
Perhaps the vine was a manifestation of the supernatural or perhaps its extraterrestrial in origin.

Another twist would be to tie in Gerald Thompson's work. Botanist/biochemist seems to fit in with the story. Somehow Gerald seems to be obsessed with his vine. Perhaps he combined his own DNA with the plant in an experiment of some kind. Gene splicing seems to fit. Knocking out something or adding something.

Please keep sharing for these are a fun read.


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Review of Scoops!  
Review by Johnny O
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Very well crafted.

Suggestions:
Scoops had stated that he had chosen Jimmy purposefully. This presents you with an opportunity to create. Scoops could have had issues with the parents of Josh from childhood for example.

What's in it for Scoops also has to be worked out. Why offer the deal? Why did Scoops need Jimmy entangled?

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Review of Eureka!  
Review by Johnny O
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This also was well written. I don't see anything requiring revisions.

Suggestions:
Visit the reasons why this experiment was being conducted. Opportunities exist to expand your character development leading up to the experiment. Screening process, testing for suitable candidates.

One idea would be the simple fact that we only use a small percentage of our brain which inspired the notion of mental expansion / development.

The forth dimension needs also to be explained briefly and worked into it.

Thanks for the opportunity to read your works.



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Review of Memorial Day  
Review by Johnny O
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This too is extremely well written. I don't see anything that requires editing.

Suggestions:

A link between the two lovers and the senator could be the lake. It could be a department of national defence test area.

The weather needs to be more descriptive for example: a combination of rain and high winds.

I enjoyed your efforts. Thank you for sharing.



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Review by Johnny O
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Another very well written piece. I don't see any need for editing.

Suggestions:

You may wish to develop the three men a bit more rather than simply removing them with a tragic deaths.

Andy:
An angle that seems to fit would be that Andy perhaps helped his friend hide his misdeed making him just as guilty for Kelly Davis's death.

Mr. Anderson:
Having heard his son's confession should have called the police instead he tried to ignore what he had learned making him guilty too. (But what parent turns away from their child?)







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Review by Johnny O
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This is very well written. There are no real edits required.

David could be revisited to develop the connection between the cat and himself.

For example:

David was in one of his typical drunken moods and he happened upon a cat and so sudden was David's appearance it startled the cat which jumped in fright into oncoming traffic, dying before David's eyes.

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Review by Johnny O
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Yes, at times we do tend to not look ourselves within the mirrors reflection. The key with a mirror is that it never ever can reflect that which we possess within just the crude vessel that we are contained in.

Now if a mirror could reflect our thoughts on top of our appearances, now that would be a surprise.

As always the quality of your writing is exceptional.



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Review by Johnny O
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Just as there is dark there is light. Just as there exists wrong so to does right exist.

Many preach balance between Yin and Yang but I have found the best results are born from deeds and gifts inspiring action either of self or from others.

Apply the credo that we all are equal and you will be blessed with positive results.
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