| A review of: The Reviewer: murdered for a low rating!
Genre: Romance, Love, Relationship.
These are my opinions and nothing more.
I try to read stories without stopping or making notes just to get a sense of the piece. So, The Reviewer; murdered for a low rating, the title intrigued me and off I went. 3543 words later and no murder, but an enjoyable enough experience nonetheless.
I did on a few occasions have to fight the urge to go over some paragraphs as my friend “confusion” was tapping me on the shoulder and whispering “what did he mean there, What was that all about.” I resisted. So, my overall feeling at the end was that I'd just read a nice little tale with a few twists and turns, (always a good thing).
The reviewer in a nutshell. A man, slob, shy, nerd, reviewer, low self esteem meets a beautiful woman who has stolen his life story and written an alternative ending. As it's played out in real life it doesn't go exactly as she planned.
The points I missed. What was the relevance of two BPA bottles? At first I thought he was going to commit suicide, I think they're just plastic bottles possibly the coke bottles.
Did she steal a manuscript that he had written, or did she get all her information from the hidden cameras, that she had planted in the room that he rarely leaves?
Did he give her a low score for the review of his story? She changed his name but in truth he didn't really have much of a story anyway, Man lives like a pig in a room and types reviews. That sounds a bit familiar actually.
I thoroughly enjoyed your descriptions of grime and squalor. They were vivid and felt very real.
“The food splashed toilet water onto the seat, cistern, onto the plaster walls and into his face.
The Reviewer hardly noticed as he knelt, with mouth hanging open, on the floor welcoming the icy cold tiles cooling his shins and bare feet. “ Great lines.
"What are you doing sneaking up like that behind my back? I could almost imagine you were here to kill me but...but I would feel most honoured for my end to come by your hand!"
This line doesn't sound like it comes from a tongue tied loner but a bit of a player “I would feel most honoured for my end to come by your hand.” And before you do it, how about a bit of dinner at a nice little bistro I know. However beautiful the intruder, my first questions would have been how the **** did you get in and what the **** do you want? Just a thought.
In summary you have a nicely written short story with some good descriptions. I found only a few minor anomalies that are probably more down to my inability to read things properly than your writing skill.