Wow wow wow. For one of the first poems you wrote this is surely impressive. I read this over and over and fell in love with how the poem was perfectly executed along with the impressiveness of how the rhyme scheme was. That is truly a work of art.
This story is really good but everything is so jumbled up it makes things go so fast it's like reading at light speed. It's an awkward thing to do. You also have many capitalization issues, word issues and everything seems to be quick but all over the place. The message is obviously clear but you should work on this more!
Wow I must say this is really cool how you though this all out with bread beingmade compared to how a story is made. It really is nice and shows that things can be prepared alike. I though love that quote at the end where food disappears but words are timeless.
I really like these kinds of poems for how short they are but how funny they can be. This gave me a few chuckles the first time I read this as I just imagined the scene going on in my head as the van met the tree. So yeah this was definitely a good read!
I have to admit I got so confused at first but I was then like, "Ohhhh, oh my god." I really like this poem for doing something such as naming the characters by onomatopoeia and phrases to confuse the reader until they read it for a second time. I also imagine the story of this three characters developing but hey that's just a thought I had. Though this gets a good rating in my book. Nice job.
Alright I will say, this is for sure a very good story you have here. I get to see the side of how an AI feels about being implanted into a new close to real body. I really like that since I don't get to see a lot of that currently and I always like this twist. The way she's able to eat and act as a normal human with huge capabilities is great too. I especially love her wish at the end considering it show more about her character. This was great.
Let me tell you this. This is so good that it hurts. You left me at such a cliffhanger and you keep me wanting more! That is truly what I like to see and everything here was great and I really do like the concept of the story and where it is going and I wish to read more.
I have to say this I for sure a very touching poem and it relates to today's views which I surely like to see people addressing. How you addressed everything in a manner with Mexico helping the US and putting it in a sense of like US walking over to Mexico house and asking for stuff like a neighbor and then suddenly choosing to push Mexico away is powerful and shows some personification to a political issue.
This is truly something that has struck my heart and has made me feel emotional but happy. It reminds me of the song Let Her Go by Passenger and the words just go so nicely together as well. I really love all the feelings put into this since it comes straight from the heart. It is impressive how you write a sonnet so well. You are a very good writer.
I have to admit this is one great little story of what goes on in your cat's head through all these days and the imagination can run wild here as you have so much free space to write. I will admit this made me laugh and me smile all the way through because of the way everything was set out so perfectly. This is one unique story of a cat's thoughts and I give it a 10/10 in my book.
This is done very nicely as it explains time's past and how old times can be somewhat insulting because you can never fully grasp at them with all your might and you can see all the problems you wish you could fix but that are too long gone now. This is also great for being so somber but with so little space to write all this.
I am truly impressed by this, this poem is very good. I love the imagery put into this as it gives me a sense of how others feel. The work put into this story is truly amazing and how you express that living life is what we all need and all the reasons why it's good to live your life.
Wow. I really, really liked this. This is truly great in almost every way, because of several reasons. Your description during the story was wonderful and gave me an actual sight of what was happening in the story. The imagery is what stunned me here and the way the personification of her being pulled out to sea with the water pulling her in made this even better.
Wow, this truly dark and is shows a lot about you in general. The way you describe everything very nice short and simple. The poem is very colorful in the way it is written and seems to draw out the darkness, tragedy and the tone of death near the end.
Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/nickthedragon