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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/nictales
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3 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
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Review of Sherbert  
Review by NicTales
Rated: E | (5.0)
This was such an enjoyable read. Your writing style flowed nicely, and Sherbert sounded adorable. I do feel like the second to last paragraph ends it better than the last, but otherwise, very nice.
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Review by NicTales
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey Bubblegum Jones,

This was an enjoyable read. After all, who doesn't love a good haunted house? Love the description of the porch being overgrown by the Ivy, and the house being swallowed by the brush in the summer. It really paints a good mental picture.

The one point I would make is that I feel like there's so much more room for expansion here. You've created a great base for an idea here.
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Review by NicTales
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hey Flowerchild,

I think you have a very good start here, and it's clear that passion fuels your writing. Love the line, "has he forgotten the trees we have grown on?"

Really, I think you would do well to go back and expand on this. It feels like it wants to be a poem, and with a little effort, I think it would flow beautifully.

Best wishes
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