|A House Stark review for "Game of Thrones" for SS-Ultra Writing Instinct!
Initial hook, Strength and comments:
The title had a tinge of sadness to it, and I wanted to know the reason behind it. When I read the description, it immediately brought the story “Gift of Magi” to my mind. I knew that I had to read what you had to say.
The pain and suffering you were able to portray in this story is very believable and commendable. I could relate to the poor lady with an abusive father. I felt sorry for her, and was finally relived when she met Darwin. Really liked that part.
The tale on the whole, though, was a little predictable. I kind of knew what would happen, which distracted me a little as I read it. Please don’t get me wrong, but at some places, the tale looked a little cliché.
Having said this, I can see this tale has potential. If you could inject some other conflict which would kind of keep my mind from guessing the end, then it would surely be an even better read.
The lasting memory of this piece in my mind:
When she runs after Darwin, feeling guilty. I could see that happening in my mind. Sign of a scene well written, isn’t it?!
Concluding remarks :
I liked what I read, and I am sure you have the talent to make it an even better piece. Do call me in, if you decide to tweak this story a little, here and there, and want an opinion on that.
Thank you for sharing your work! Keep writing and keep rocking.
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