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101
101
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A House Stark review for "Game of Thrones", for Sum1 of House Stark.

Initial Impression:
A retelling of a story wherein two set of families, complete stranger to each other, kind of interact at the restaurant. Soon, the kids start to mingle and they have fun. As the first family starts to leave, the mother of the family does a special act which forms the climax of the story.

What I like here:
The raw emotion on display in this story is what catches my attention. The “feel good” factor is hard to miss and you have managed to show it rather craftily rather than just plainly retelling the story. I liked the way you built the scene of bonhomie at that place; one where the adults and kids play together. And of course the bill payment part is the soul of the story and it acts as kind of affirmation to the fact that there are plenty of good people doing random acts of kindness all over the globe. This is what I have always believed in, after all *Smile*

The lasting memory of this piece in my mind:
That feeling of incredulity in the later parts of the story is what I will remember. How uplifted they would have felt, how gracious and how humble! Superb!
I also like the last sentence of this story. It must have touched your heart a good deal *Smile*

*Star* Thanks for sharing your work. Since this piece was essentially non-fictional account it made me feel really good in those warmest of corners of my heart :)

Thanks,
Nishank
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
102
102
Review of Irene  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A House Stark review for "Game of Thrones", for Sum1 of House Stark.

Initial Impression:
Two women, named Katrina and Irene, discuss about Irene’s upcoming assignment. Irene is particularly unsure of it and seeks Katrina’s help because she has been a legend of sorts. As Irene lays bare her mental blockages, Katrina shoos away her problems as she tells her golden mantra to her. What the assignment is and what it would do forms the climax of the story.

What I like here:
The brilliant dash of creativity is unmistakably the best part of this story. I thought of them as to be spies at best and was readying myself for their “spy” act but man you tripped me and for once I enjoyed it wholeheartedly. How you managed to conceal the real motive and identities despite some eight hundred words is what impressed me the most.

The second most impressive part was the conversation you were able to put across in this story. Nowhere, does the conversation feel artificial or jarring and it just flows, as if two friends were just talking sitting on a porch giving no inkling of what was to come. Nice work, friend!

The lasting memory of this piece in my mind:
The last-ish part in the story wherein Katrina watches her sister cum friend Irene doing what she had just promised. Man, it was a real shock because that was the point I realized what it was all about! *Smile*

*Star* Thanks for sharing your work.
Thanks,
Nishank
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
103
103
Review of George Loses It  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A House Stark review for "Game of Thrones", for Sum1 of House Stark.

Initial Impression:
George liked hunting and had been doing it for years. One fine day when he moved to the forest in the hope of a ten point buck he started hearing weird voices. These voices felt like coming from someone who was watching him and someone who knew that George was a regular hunter. Shocked but yet ignoring them, he kept on moving forward in search of his prized shoot. Now, the voices had grown considerably clearer, louder and more earnest. Somehow ignoring them still, he kept on moving until realizing what the source of voice was. Having learned it, he couldn’t believe what was happening. What actually happened there in the forest forms the climax of the story.

What I like here:
The sense of tension, the self-doubting and the pace of the story is what I like here. Anything longer, it well might have felt like a moral lesson more than a story, a little shorter than it might have appeared to short a duration to feel delusional. The fact that you effectively balance the length is what made this story work for me.
Another winner to me is kind of scenes that you paint right at the end. It gradually builds up to that scene and then exploding with mayhem. The shift of “other” voices from hushed to empathetic to stern to attacking was very neatly done. I liked that!

A big thumbs up for the Title and description, too. It pulled me into the story.
The lasting memory of this piece in my mind:
The point where George pulls the trigger broke my heart because of the tension preceding those lines. I mean, I was literally hoping he doesn’t do it but when he did, I was a wee bit scared for him, too.

*Star* Thanks for sharing your work. I really enjoyed it.
Thanks,
Nishank
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
104
104
Review of The Steps  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A House Stark review for "Game of Thrones", for Sum1 of House Stark.

Initial Impression:
A group of steps to a yard discuss about their perceptions, feelings and their opinions. They have been in place for near fifty years now and they have seen a lot of changes and accumulated a lot of emotions. The conversation is not limited to the steps only but the wall and the arch also jumps into the discussion, every now and then.

What I like here:
I am a big fan of personification, hearing things which come from a non-human point of view. Doing this makes a piece come alive but only if done right and I was so happy to find that this tick was ticked in the most rocking way possible. The kind of characters which you gave to the steps was so brilliant an act that I had no trouble whatsoever imagining the steps talking to each other because if they could this would be the way they would do it. The best part was no dialogue seemed to be there just for the sake of it. It rather felt that there was a discussion going on and all of the steps were pitching in wholeheartedly. The plot kept on moving forward and most importantly, it had a unifying theme from which the story doesn’t move away ever.

Another thing I equally liked was the scene you painted in my mind regarding where the step were and what all surrounded it. I was literally in that surrounding, enjoying the beauty around me and overhearing the step’s discussion. Fascinating and top notch work *Thumbsup*

The lasting memory of this piece in my mind:
Oh, I am so confused. There were so many memorable points in the story but one which especially stays with me is the place where you described the setting around the steps, especially the below line which soothed me with its descriptiveness-
“Beyond the arch lay a meadow, a duck pond centered in the middle of it. The walls on either side of the steps sheltered them from blowing winds and weather”
Wow, absolute wow!

*Star* Thanks for sharing your work. I feel honored to have read it.
Thanks,
Nishank
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
105
105
Review of Just $29.95  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
A House Stark review for "Game of Thrones", for Angus of Night’s Watch.

Initial Impression:
A man named Rick Johnson, unable to sleep, gets up from of his bed in the middle of the night and reaches for his living room. To kill time he switches on the TV as he moans about the sleepless nights which have gone to nearly seven straight days now. While sitting there he sees a TV commercial of a guy who is selling the sharpest of knives. We learn then that Rick placed a bet with his friends as for who would be able to be awake for the longest. He had won some three days ago but still after that he was unable to get sleep.

While still fighting with himself over the sleep he notices that the man in the commercial calls out his name and started to talk to him. Rick, nervy at first, then talks back too and does whatever that man in the commercial suggested to him, as he was indebted to the man because he put him to sleep. The story finishes with Rick finally going to sleep.

What I liked:
Wow, that is downright creepy. I mean, for me, it’s not about the act itself but the setting that you created here – a man who hasn’t slept in days. Most of us have experiences sleeplessness at some point of life – maybe not as bad as Rick suffered- but we all have a certain idea of the anxiety, irritation and the hopelessness it encircles us with. It was out and out numbing to see that idea getting stretched and applied to someone. I think the fact that it is so close to reality is what makes it nerve wrecking.

I am not a fan of gore and brutality but I really liked the way you made it a part of the story without placing the spotlight on it. Sure the story ended with one of those savage acts but it didn’t feel forced in this story Or being done just for the sake of it. It was kind of seamless and very believable again.

The lasting memory of this piece in my mind:
It would be the place where the salesman in the tube tells Rick that he would have to the first of many savage acts. I reread it to be sure of this was what was written. Also, the effortless charm with the salesman managed to convince Rick that he was asleep and hence to do what he said made me believe that Rick was indeed hallucinating. This upped the chill factor.

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! It was a real spooky treat.

Thanks,
Nishank

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
106
106
Review of Why I Write  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
A House Stark review for "Game of Thrones", for GeminiGem of House Lannister of House Stark.

Initial Impression:
It is a Non-fiction account of the writer of how she acquired the reading and writing habits in her childhood. It tells what points and processes in her childhood shaped her reading habits, the upbringing she got which reinstated it, how she got the “Grammar genes”, so as to say, and how she became addicted to it. Finally, it accounts how she gradually progressed from the lovely habit of reading to an even lovelier and creative habit of writing.

What I like here:
Your honest, causal and friendly tone are the winner of this personal account for me. Without it, these lessons might have sounded cheesy or preachy. The fact that you are seemingly just having fun while reliving the childhood times, makes it easier for me to understand and accept the viewpoints. It is like you put your arms around my shoulder and introduced me to the perspective, the context and reasons which formed a substantial base for your habit to develop. It was very beautifully done.

Also, I like the way you present the little snippets here and there which show how the things progressed. They are just the right length so that they don’t divert the attention from the main theme but also instill the right idea and then quietly move on. A classic example for it would be the place where you say that Mom used your high school research papers which made you a little more conscious and responsible for your content and grammar. Expertly done.

The lasting memory of this piece in my mind:
I for one, have taken many inputs from it. One of them is that this is how I will “trick” my kids into reading, that is for sure – asking them to read me to bed, at least once a week. They may hate it the initial stages but I know that it will be the best gift ever to them as it opens so many worlds and realms to oneself. In my opinion, nothing opens mind as much as reading and nothing sharpens the mind as creative writing.

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work, dear! I learnt so much from it.*Smile*
Thanks,
Nishank

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107
107
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A House Stark review for "Game of Thrones", for Amalie Cantor - We Got This! of my Dear House Stark.

Story Strengths:
It doesn’t happen too often with me that I come to a certain piece of writing with a certain level of expectation because I understand that the quality can often dwindle from one written item to another – sometimes because of lack of clarity or lack of application and other times because of lack of expertise in that form. But when I landed in your port, I had a clear vision of things I was to expect and a feeling that that expectation would be met – and how perfectly did that happen!
The story was beautiful, vivid and full of such imagery that it was effortless for me to “see” what was happening. Whether it was the indecision on part of Binda in the initial stages of the story or whether it was the beautiful world you built for the story – one in where Binda would appear in Skie’s dreams because she appreciated the beauty and the attraction in Skie.

You seem to follow the clichéd but thoroughly correct advice of “Show don’t tell” to the hilt. What lovely way to describe the surroundings of Skie (in the second paragraph) using the following words:

“…the verdant green of the grass on the banks near the bottom of the cliff, the lush prismatic clarity of the water as it dipped over the fall. “ The visual cues, the tactile feel adds to the sense of being there, right between Binda and Skie, and seeing it unfold with our own eyes. You are a master at it. No second thoughts there.

Other impressive thing to me was that you were able to keep the story moving forward with each sentence and word. There was not one sentence which I could pinpoint which didn’t do so which means that the story doesn’t stagnate at any point. A must for any story – especially a piece as short as this one which has to be brought to a fitting end in limited words. Thumbs up for word economy, too!

The lasting memory of this piece in my mind:
The last line of the first paragraph made me fall in love with the story, right there. The way you described the surroundings – the wind, the haze, the determination – would stay with me.

I knew you were a master of poetry form but my guess about your writing in general is confirmed now. You are a complete master of the written form, in general.

*Star* Thanks for sharing your work. There is so much to learn from it, dear.*Smile*

Thanks,
Nishank

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108
108
Review of A Choice  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A House Stark review for "Game of Thrones", for Amalie Cantor - We Got This! of Dear House Stark.

Story Strengths:
Generally, when we think of a story we think it from perspective of different characters and their own different and unique voices. It is very hard, for me at least, to tell a well written, meaningful and engaging tale which has the only one single point of view. I once tried doing it and freaked out as it almost felt claustrophobic, for the lack of a better word. But having read this story and seen how experts tackle this challenge I think I have learned a few tricks *Smile*

I was amazed and impressed beyond bounds to see and learn how much could be added to a story even when seeing things from one view only. Generally first person point of view is chosen by me when I have to add detailing to the scenes, the setting and the emotions because it is tough to add the same depth when writing in third person POV. The fact that you could do it, and so effortlessly at that, speaks a lot about your expertise with storytelling.

I really liked the rich display of emotions in this story. When Skie fumbles for words when trying to wrap her head around the unearthly beauty of the other lady, I too shared that awe with Skie. The way you built it up was very real and almost magical. The excellent choice of words and the embedded beauty in your sentences make them so beautiful to read and hear. An excellent example could be “You can die here, never knowing what might be, or you can let me show you things you never imagined”. Awesome, absolutely surreal.

And then is your way of describing the surroundings and environment around the characters which transports the reader to that wonderful magical land created by Lady Amalie! How do you do that every single time, ma’m! I am spellbound *Smile*

The lasting memory of this piece in my mind:
It has got to be the point in the third paragraph where you describe the richness of the surrounding around Skie. The midnight sky, the deep red mountains. Wow! Absolutely marvelous.

*Star* Thanks for sharing your work. It was an absolute pleasure visiting your magical port. *Smile*

Thanks,
Nishank
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
109
109
Review of The Attack  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Kit Kat! I just finished reading "The Attack"  and I would like to say that this anecdote was as sweet as your username “kit kat” :).

In my mind’s eye, I could see the little kit kat dressed in flowery suit, being taken to task for feeding the “devilish” humming birds. So unfair :( You were so happy and excited about the whole trip but so sad that the birdy had other plans! I could see the little girl (which for some reason I imagined as golden haired!) playing with the brother and sisters, swimming, plucking water lilies, catching frogs and sensing the dog’s vomit. That was real cute, painted quite a picture. And man, I can only imagine the leg pulling, teasing and a life-long topic this would have become!

You know what, something similar happened to me in my childhood but yours was way cuter story than mine. Being attacked by a black faced monkey can’t be cute no matter how I try to present it, could it be *Laugh*? I will surely give it a try though.

I really enjoyed your childhood tale as it took me back to those carefree bliss filled times *Smile*!

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Keep writing and keep rocking.

Thanks,
Nishank

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
110
110
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
What I liked Most:

I was searching for stories which would wake me up and man, did this perform that trick on me. I could sense the tension gradually building up in me reaching a brilliant climax. It was commendable that you were able to travel that range of emotion within a short story but what was even more commendable was you made the reader travel the journey along with you. Your words had power which I could feel.

PS:Just a little back ground. For days now- no months - I have been trying to read a story on WdC but blame it on my flimsy attention span, not many were able to keep me engaged for long. For some which were able to engage me, were not able to force me to compliment the writer. Considering all this stuff it becomes even more pleasurable for me to finally have a story which makes me go "WOw" and als to say "Hey, I want to write something like that" :)

I would like to read more of your work. Hope you have an enjoyable stay here on WdC. Keep writing, dear, I thoroughly enjoyed it :)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
111
111
Review of Highway To Hope  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi friend, ~WhoMe???~ ., I am your GoT mate. I see you participating in the points update and felt that this review would be a small token of thanks from my side. I just finished reading "Highway To Hope"  and I would like to offer you these impressions. I am not an accomplished writer or reviewer so please feel free to use or trash them. They are all yours *Smile*:

Strengths
The title was a beautiful one. I felt all the good vibes as I read it. In fact, it also reminded me of the famous AC/DC anthem, “Highway to Hell”, and though the title is completely opposite in meaning to it, I wanted to read more.
I believe that poetry is best when laced with strong emotions and feelings and I could find them in aplenty here. You have got lots to say about the meaning of life and how it ties to our free will. Though there is so much confusion in my mind over free will and destiny, I liked the fact that instead of dwelling into intricacies of the matter this poem, you choose free will’s path and show the best way of learning there is – stumble, ask, getup, run *Smile*
I am just a newbie on poetic devices so can’t comment much on here, except for the fact that there is a certain flow in this poem which appears almost faultless. It complements the message of the message and doesn’t add distraction to it, which was necessary because it was a complicated message you were dealing with.

Grammar/Typo/Suggestion

Just a minor suggestion:
1) At one place you use the word “coarse”. I am not sure but I think you meant to choose “course” instead.

The lasting memory of this piece in my mind
The first few lines as they were a source of confusion to me, for long, some time back. I haven’t found an answer I have just stopped asking that question as it gives nothing *Smile*

The overall feel
I enjoyed reading this poem very much and also, the beautiful message in it which smells of positive energy, throughout.

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Keep writing and keep rocking.
Thanks,
Nishank

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
112
112
Review of The Family Bible  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi friend, 🌕 HuntersMoon , it’s me again! I can’t get enough of your port items, it seems *Laugh*! I just finished reading "The Family Bible"  and I would like to offer you these impressions. I am not an accomplished writer or reviewer so please feel free to use or trash them. They are all yours *Smile*:

Strengths
I am not a very religious person myself but when I read the title, I surely wanted to know what you had to say about it. The description was the deal clincher for me, as I wanted to know that why would someone scribble on The Bible, for that matter. I swooped in hoping for an answer which sure I got, by the end.

The dialogues are superb as they gradually paint a not only a picture of the ongoing scene in front of my eyes but also of the characters. What I mean to say is that the following lines :

“Doris laughed. "Did you notice how worn that spot you're sitting on is? I'll bet there's been generations of young boys in our family who've sat right there and said the same thing."”

The above lines, apart from taking the story forward, hint at the warm, naughty nature of the grandma, Doris who is trying to help out her bored grandson.
The central plot of someone writing their family lineage on Bible sounded believable and so true and it immediately upped my curiosity levels, too. What a lovely way to keep track of ancestors! <Pardon me if it is a commonplace thing for families to do but I know a few Christian families and have played with the kids but I haven’t heard of such a thing, myself.>

The end as hilarious and one I never expected – full of so much innocence and humor. Loved it.

Suggestion
None.

The lasting memory of this piece in my mind
The way in which you set up the story would linger in my mind, as it transported me back to my childhood summer vacations, when all of us cousins would visit our village to see our Grandmother. We would have silly talks, laughs and just goof around with instances such as the one mentioned, tickling us all day long. Bliss! :
"Tommy!" Doris shook her head. Now, where has that boy gone off to now?

"I'm on the porch, Grandma." She heard his voice faintly from the front of the house”

The overall feel
This is a lovely, funny and a cute story which is full of innocence and naughtiness in equal measures!

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Keep writing and keep rocking.

Thanks,
Nishank
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
113
113
Review of The Elevator  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi friend, Stuart . I just finished reading "The Elevator"  and I would like to offer you these impressions. I am not an accomplished writer or reviewer so please feel free to use or trash them. They are all yours *Smile*:

Strengths
As soon as I read the title, I don’t know why, imagined an old, unused elevator in a secluded building. So obviously, when I read the classification of the story as “Dark” coupled with the description, it perked my attention. I was all eyes and ears from then on.

The initial 3 paragraphs build the setting superbly as it introduced the mystery of origins of the elevator. The description of the elevator, its mechanisms, mention of the word “Pre-Victorian” and the detailing if place around the elevator was amazing as it virtually placed me in front of the elevator, so as to say. Well done, dear.

The end, much of which was left for readers to infer, made me to think beyond the obvious meaning of the elevator. I wondered whether it was a clever use of symbolism and thankfully, I can cross-check with you about it *Smile*
I especially liked the camaraderie between the characters and the fact that you were able to show the hesitance because it made the story even more real. Lovely work, there.

Grammar/Typo/Suggestion
No grammatical error that I could spot but I wanted to let you know that I felt that the information about the characters involved went a bit too long and kind of diluted the core story, somewhat.

I mean, from a reader’s perspective, it would have been enough to know that they had been together since years and they all wanted to get to the bottom of the mystery behind the elevator. Maybe that way, you could have introduced more horror into the tale by say narrating a tale or two which told us more about why this Elevator was such a creepy thing and why was it pursued.

Please don’t get me wrong, the story line and the plot is awesome it is just that if you could tighten it up a bit, it will shine though even more.

The lasting memory of this piece in my mind
The final scene wherein the characters after deciding amongst each other descend using the mysterious elevator was my favorite as it painted quite a scene in my head.

The overall feel
I enjoyed reading the story and I think it should serve as a brilliant Launchpad for something even mysterious, dark and creepy. Well done, friend *Smile*

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Keep writing and keep rocking.
Thanks,
Nishank
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
114
114
Review of The Streak  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi friend, JACE - House Targaryen . I just finished reading "The Streak"  and I would like to offer you these impressions. I am not an accomplished writer or reviewer so please feel free to use or trash them. They are all yours *Smile*:

Strengths
The title was catchy. Now, who won’t be interested to know about a streaking exercise! And when you add an angle of military maneuver to it, the combination becomes too promising to let go without reading. And hey, you categorized it as “Experience” so did you see it happening or participated in it *Laugh* Kidding *Smile*

The narrator’s tone guides me to decades before as it tells me of the happenings of that era. I would even “youtube” that Ray Steven song. I like the fact that before jumping onto the meat of the fun, you slowly set the scene first by telling about the situation back then. Man, it must have been tough to streak around in the cold temperatures. I can imagine a lot of White faces and Red bums *Laugh*

I liked the way you sprinkled humor along the story, without going overboard. I am talking of instances such as “no battle plan survives contact with the enemy.” *Laugh* How accurately was it proved by the end of the narrative*Laugh*!

That second last paragraph was just plain hilarious as you expertly describe the happenings (or mis-happenings *Laugh*) “Removing the spectacles” so that he couldn’t be recongnized was a “genius” stroke and so was that image which the “spread eagle” painted in my head *Laugh* That was super!

Suggestion
None.

The lasting memory of this piece in my mind
Apart from the spread eagle which I still stop laughing about, it has got to be the last paragraph which reports with a dry humor, the operation details. Top notch!

The overall feel
I very much enjoyed reading this humorous tale. It surely painted quite a few images in my head which would be tough to un-remember. One last time my guffaws for the spread Eagled streaker *Laugh*
*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Keep writing and keep rocking.

Thanks,
Nishank
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
115
115
Review of Bite of Vengeance  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi friend, Tiger Cub 🔱 , it’s me again! I can’t get enough of your wacky stories *Laugh*! I just finished reading "Bite of Vengeance"  and I would like to offer you these impressions. I am not an accomplished writer or reviewer so please feel free to use or trash them. They are all yours *Smile*:

Strengths
“Hmm, bite of vengeance, what would that be?” I wondered. When I read the description, I don’t why, I thought of a pet dog! I absolutely love dogs. I mean the way they can lift your souls even after something drastic has happened in your life, makes me a big fan of theirs. I had beautiful Pomeranian named “Dipsy” who died some six years ago but some nights in my dream I still see her, playing around her tail and running after me. Further as this was a tale involving two best friends, I expected it to offer a range of emotions, and that too of all varieties! I obviously had to read on.

Aww, pure darling Vesta! I could feel the pain and her suffering because of being left alone in the house for all day. These guys love us to their core and we, often, do this to them. This was the core of the story, which I can think would be easily felt by all as we read this.

I loved the fact that you gave a voice to Vest and told the story from her perspective. It was refreshing to see the world as they see it and it pinched me a bit, thinking of the way we use them, so as to say.
The angle of revenge which you added to the story was completely believable and was something which every pet friend could relate to. Hmm, so that was the reason my sweetie Dipsy used to chew on my leather sandals!

Suggestion
Just minor nitpicking:
1) If you could put “Men and their play toys” in italics it would look better, I feel, since you are expressing Vesta’s emotion, here.

2) Soon after saying ““Men and their play toys”” in the line after that you say “I was his play toy”. Though, it takes away nothing from the flow of the story but if you could a synonym or something similar in idea to play toy, the second time you use it, it would add value, I think.

The lasting memory of this piece in my mind
The chewed upon Louis Vetton, for sure. Oh, the horror!

The overall feel
I think that this is a wonderful story which I especially liked because I love animals and the selfless bond they seem to share with us.
*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Keep writing and keep rocking.

Thanks,
Nishank
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116
116
Review of Paper Flowers  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi friend, Angels in my Ear ! I just finished reading "Paper Flowers"  and I would like to offer you these impressions.. I am not an accomplished writer or reviewer so please feel free to use or trash them. They are all yours *Smile*:

Strengths
To me, the title of the poem somehow made me believe that it was going to be about the fake emotions that people show but the description pushed me on the right track. I wanted to know what would the exact relation of paper flowers to that of accomplishing the dreams. I entered with the hope to get the answer and I surely did!

I really liked the fact that there is a strong message in the poem – the message to never let go of our dreams and to chase down our fears, whatever size they may come in. The starting lines tell me accurately of the current emotions running through the mind and heart of the poet. They convey a feeling of helplessness and the pain of being strangled and not knowing what you day. Stanza after stanza you build on top of it, adding layers and then finally reach the beautiful high. I could feel the joy the breaking free from the grasps of our fears. That was beautifully conveyed.

I especially liked that when in the last two stanzas you changed the idea from “want” to “will”, it was almost as if you flicked on a button and a bolt of electricity ran through the poem and as well as reader’s mind. It empowered my soul. Thanks for it *Smile*

The fact that you used such strong analogy worked for you as well as me, your reader well. It was very easy to think clearly of the feelings you wanted to convey. The lines such as these are what I am talking about :

I want to run with the wind,
and listen to the message
it whispers to the trees.
Lovely lines these.

Suggestion
None.

The lasting memory of this piece in my mind
To me, the following lines were the most beautiful lines from the poem, as I could connect to the feel of it, instantly:
“I want to fall from the sky,
slowly, like snow,
and land with just a soft thud”

The overall feel
This is a lovely poem and honestly, I would remind myself to live to the fullest using the imagery in this.

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Keep writing and keep rocking.

Thanks,
Nishank
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117
Review of Derailed  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
. Hello friend Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm . I just finished reading "Derailed"  and I am here to offer my impressions in the hope that they might help you. Feel free to keep them or trash them, they are all yours *Smile*!

Strengths
The succinct title, the description of the story along with the categorization of the story (“action/adventure) indicated to me that this was going to be an action packed story for sure. I wanted to read on because of the curiosity and also because of the desire to know my lovely GoT contest host and her works *Smile*.

The opening few lines were quite an electric start, I must say. You set the scene in such radical conditions that the curiosity factor kicks in, instantly. Then, there was the masterstroke of introducing the secret brown package right at the beginning of the story. We all know well that if we term something as secret and then delay the gratification how difficult it becomes to lose focus from that “secret” object and this story used that well.

I especially liked the description in the beginning-middle portion of the story. The place where the narrator sits in the train with that passenger asking him all sort of question is one of the prime examples of what I am saying here. I could easily see myself in that situation, guarding something secret with someone pricking me all over to know the secret. I think my heartbeat went up a notch or two there and more so when you introduced those two men in black rain coats. It was creepy and felt like being in the train with those people after me ** Shudders**

Suggestion/Typos/Grammar
None major grammatical error that I could spot.
There are a few suggestion, though:

1) There is a place where you say “Just like in the movies, I thought..” I think, that since you are really good at descriptions, you don’t need to take the crutch of “movie” here. What I mean to say is that it kind of dilutes the seriousness of the scene for me.

2) Then, I wanted to say that it would have been better if I would have known that what was in the secret package. Also, I was left a bit confused as to why did the narrator accept the package at all if she didn’t understand the reason behind it. Maybe I have missed some links which point to this *Blush*

The lasting memory of this piece in my mind
These below lines were very accurate in describing how we react when we are surrounded by chaos or panic of the highest order:
“Fear rooted me to the spot. The echo of the guy's shoes kept inching closer and my brain finally jump-started my legs into movement.”

The overall feel
This is a very solid cure story line you have here and anyways you are planning to reshape it a bit. Please call me in because I would be eager to know how you end up with this super plot!

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Keep writing and keep rocking.

Thanks,
Nishank

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118
Review of Food for words  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello friend Tiger Cub 🔱 . Namaskaar, I am here again. When it rains it floods, doesn’t it *Laugh*! I just finished reading "Food for words"  and I am here to offer my impressions in the hope that they might help you. Feel free to keep them or trash them, they are all yours *Smile*!

Strengths
I have read your previous works and wanted to read more of the entertaining stories you float out. The title of this story caught my attention instantly. I have heard “food for thought” but “Food for Words”; hey what is that! And well, the ultimate lure was the description of the story as I planned to shock my mom and wife with this recipe. I say “shock” because as far as cooking goes I am good at just one things - boiling the water or milk, at the best *Facepalm* *Laugh*

This was a funny little story which entertained me, alright. There are several places which I smiled and guffawed. There was a naughtiness all throughout which add even more humor to this funny tale. The lines such as these are plain awesome:

“Right Hand** - 1, finely divided into fingers” *Laugh**Laugh* <How did you even think of this*Laugh*>

“Grill someone for a secret recipe. Constant pestering is the best tool.”
Yeah, I could do that for sure! Am I eligible to be the next super cook of secret recipes *Laugh*

I also liked the fact that in spite of having a kind of a novel idea you didn’t overstretch it. You knew the limits and never tried to push them. It takes some judgment. I have botched many a tales with my over eager and greedy mind
*Laugh*

Suggestion/Typos/Grammar
None that I could spot.

The lasting memory of this piece in my mind
There are so many funny lines in this tale that it was difficult to choose one which cackled me but I would go with:

“Let it sit overnight. Meanwhile, tweet that you’ve written ‘the best recipe ever!’ (It’s never too early for marketing.)”

The overall feel
This was an awesome little story and enjoyed it very much. I will keep coming back for more!

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Keep writing and keep rocking.

Thanks,
Nishank

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119
119
Review of Why should I?  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello friend Joseph Janovskij . I just finished reading "Why should I?"  and I am here to offer my impressions in the hope that they might help you. Feel free to keep them or trash them, they are all yours *Smile*!

Strengths:
Amazingly, just minutes before reading this I had read a poem about hope and longing from another author. It made me wonder whether the poetic form is the best device to say your heart’s feelings. I wanted to read more poems in order to understand better and here I am!

The title of the poem was interesting and gave nothing away about the subject of the poem. I am not sure whether it worked for me or not since I had already decided to read this poem but I know one thing for sure that the title was captivating and had a rebel feel to it.
The emotions on display are strong and I could relate to them easily. There is an undercurrent of angst and betrayal, threatening to explode to the surface but never does. I believe that works well for this poem as it gives it a balanced tone, throughout.

I liked the symbolism at several places. The way you have compared the fire of love to the campfire in these lines, upped my attention:
“..a campfire ignited by a single match…”
Lovely work this!

Suggestion/Typos/Grammar
1) I would say that if you add something to the description part apart from “a small poem” as you have written currently, it would serve the purpose better. Throw in some lines about this piece, add a feeler so that it catches more attention.

2) When I read aloud, the following lines seemed not to rhyme properly. I am no expert on meter or other rhyming schemes so I may be a bit off the mark, I should warn *Blush*

I asked you why do you want to catch
a campfire ignited by a single match

In the second line the word “single” seems to disrupt the rhythm a bit.

3) Then, in the following lines the full stop acts as a minor bump, to me atleast:

“She wants a second chance, because one
wasn't enough. But the things are done.”

The lasting memory of this piece in my mind
The starting lines will stay with me for sure where you say so much in so little words. And then were the analogies used throughout. I was impressed.

The overall feel
I think if you do some minor tweaking, you will notice that this poem has even more rhythm and flow in it. Feel free to call me in, if you decide to rework on it. I would be happy to join in *Smile*

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Keep writing and keep rocking.

Thanks,
Nishank

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120
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Konata Kuzike , I just finished reading " A Component Called Sunshine"  and I am here to offer my impressions in the hope that they might help you. Feel free to keep them or trash them, they are all yours *Smile*!

Strengths:
I was searching for some emotional read and poetry does it the best, I feel. The unique name caught my attention straight away as you referred to sunshine as “component” as if it was something purchasable or tangible; something which could be stored in small rations, if I may say. The idea intrigued me and I wanted to know more, expecting a unique treatment to the poem.

I believe this is a multi-layered poem hinting at something deeper than what appears at the surface. I know that seasons could affect the moods drastically; like too much snow and cold weather is known to be factor in depression. It is the sunshine which takes away the anxieties and troubles and signals all well in life. I am not sure whether you are hinting at it but I would like to believe so
*Smile*

Suggestion/Typos/Grammar
I would say that in the current form, the poem is a bit tough to read. What I mean is, the color yellow in which you have colored anything sun related is unique no doubt theirs but it sort of blends in the background and becomes difficult to read. You could keep in the same color, if you wish, but color it in a readable yellow although I would suggest to remove the colors altogether. It’s your wish, though *Smile*

The rest of the colors are readable and I have no problems there.

The lasting memory of this piece in my mind
The following lines signify a positive change in somebody’s life and hence are my favorites:
“When I looked out the folds,
The sun was the true medicine.
Sunshine was the answer to all my questions.”

The overall feel
I liked the poem and the thinking behind it. I will come back for more. In case, you decide to retouch this poem and need an opinion then feel free to call me in.

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Keep writing and keep rocking.

Thanks,
Nishank

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121
Review of Stuck On You  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Summer Wind is Healing , I just finished reading " Stuck On You"  and I am here to offer my impressions in the hope that they might help you. Feel free to keep them or trash them, they are all yours *Smile*!

Strengths:
I landed on this tale as I searched for something funny to read. The title betrayed nothing about what to expect and in fact, gave me the feel that it is going to focus on some love story as in the girl/boy is “stuck” on their love interest. Well, you kind of gave me that, didn’t you, trickster *Laugh**Laugh*

Due to the finesse in the scene detailing, at no point I had to try hard to “see” things. In fact, I was really impressed and awed by some of the lines where you describe something mundane but yet describe it with such clarity that confirmed me your capabilities as a writer. I am talking about these lines, here:

“She noticed a magazine on the seat beside her. The wind was causing its pages to rip and tear. She caught a glimpse of Mark's blue shirt blowing wildly around his back, as the flies sat motionless on his head.”
Man, I was in the car seeing this all, I think. Amazing!

There is a plot(trick *evil*) and a subplot and you handle both wonderfully well. In spite to the short length of the story, I think you were able to introduce many emotions like excitement, frenzy, confusion, love and mirth <and maybe embarrassment, too for Mark *Laugh*>

And the end was something unexpected, since I was expecting some deep reasons for the flies, perhaps a symbolism *Blush* *Laugh* and you caught me unaware. It made me smile, for sure *Smile*

Questions/Suggestions
Just a minor thing, I couldn’t quite understand the line and its purpose, here:
“Mary remained silent, fearful of Mark's rejection”
DO you mean to say that if the lady would have told Mark that there are group of flies buzzing on his head, it would have caused embarrassment to Mark, if it were true and to herself if it were not. Was this the reason? Anyway, it is not a big deal because you didn’t linger on this sentence for long.

A minor suggestion would be too to clear out the excess blank spaces at the end of the story as it made me believe there is more to come. Oh wait, was it a ploy to trick me *Laugh* *Cool*

The lasting memory of this piece in my mind

For obvious reasons, this line made me wonder how my high school mates would look say after 20 more years. It made me smile as I imagines them:
“His appearance was different than when he was in high school. He was her dream guy; a tall, handsome jock, with piercing blue eyes and blond curly hair. Now, he was chubby with thick coke bottle glasses that made his eyes seem larger than they were”

The overall feel
I think this a funny little tale, which has its own moments. It made me smile and time travel at some places *Smile*

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Keep writing and keep rocking.

Thanks,
Nishank

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122
122
Review of Emergency!  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hi crazymario , I just finished reading "Emergency!"  and I am here to offer my impressions in the hope that they might help you. Feel free to keep them or trash them, they are all yours *Smile*!

Strengths:
I should try a title that sometime because it sure catches attention. It was almost as if a curious suction pump was at work there *Laugh* When I read the description “The shortest phone call you'll ever read.” I kind of expected the story to be even shorter; something more like “Hello are you there hon-” bang the phone *Laugh* Okay, enough fooling around.

I feel the urgency in the dialogues as it hurtles along at pace. Good job that you kept the conversation tone informal adding to the credibility of a telephone call. John’s dialogues obviously form the crux of the soul but I think Samantha’s words also give the feel that yes a conversation is going on. John’s words such as I will quote below too form quite a picture in so little words:
“Big heads, buggy eyes.”

Abduction of this kind is not a unique plot but the treatment was different here and the best part was that you kept it short and humorous. The end was totally unexpected and it made me chuckle. Men have their own different set of priorities, don’t they? <Are we men the real aliens, I wonder*Laugh*>

Grammar/Spellings/Suggestion
I was a bit confused by the ending and this line was the reason behind it:
“. Look, we’re being towed back home pretty soon here.”
So were they pushed back to their home or was it something else. Or was it, just a prank call! *Blush*

The lasting memory of this piece in my mind
The following lines cracked me, although I was not totally 100% sure of the ending :
“Just prepare that carrot cake for me. We don’t get very many carrots here on…”

The overall feel
I liked the good tale you put up in so little words *Smile*. I would say that this tale has enough potential and if you retouch it a bit, it would be even better. Feel free to call me in to have a relook, if you need. I would be happy to help.
*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Keep writing and keep rocking.

Thanks,
Nishank

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123
Review of The Sun Also Sets  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi ♥Hooves♥ , I just finished reading "The Sun Also Sets"  and I am here to offer my impressions in the hope that they might help you. Feel free to keep them or trash them, they are all yours *Smile*!

Strengths:
I found this story while searching the “Comedy” Genre listings as I wanted to read something funny and different. And bulls eye, I land on this tale. The name of the story had an elegance and charm to it and although I was looking for something humorous, I overlooked the fact that title appeared non-humorous, to put it best *Laugh* The description perked my focus as it talked of time travel. Yummy!

Then, what I got in the first line was the words “writing bull” made me chuckle, as I imagined a brown monster masticating arrogantly, apparently searching for the story’s plot. <Yes, I know I am kind of insane with these image creations in my head *Laugh*> I have read a bunch of stories of human time travel but this was something totally new and I wanted to read more.

I had to fasten my seat belts quick as in no time, I was time travelling to meet none other than Sir Hemingway, himself! Wow, that was some choice, now. The action packed tale, glided from one witty dialogue to another and I did not notice when this tale ended. I was a bit disappointed as I wanted more but there I realized that the length of the tale was possibly a great decision on your part. You had already told the story you wanted to tell and although you could have been greedy to extend, as this was a novel plot, but it won’t have added too much “value”.

And the dialogues are top notch too, especially that one from Mr. Hemingway. Great job, there too.
Suggestions/Questions
Generally, in this section I try to help out with the punctuation/typos/errors but couldn’t spot any here. Instead, I want to ask you that history remain unaltered, right, even the “writing bull” entered previous century so what did they actually achieve with that time travel?

Was it just the fact that the “human” was passionate about Sir Hemingway and wanted herself to be a part of it, albeit indirectly? I wonder if it was something beyond that.

The lasting memory of this piece in my mind
The following lines made me *Laugh* *Laugh*:
“I knew this was a smart man because he never ran with any bulls. No, indeed! He only watched and observed from a hotel window. “
Writers are always smart, aren’t they!

The overall feel
I really liked this unique plot and I would come back to your port for more of such *Smile*
*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Keep writing and keep rocking.

Thanks,
Nishank

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124
124
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Sierraric , I just finished reading "A Place on The Wall"  and I am here to offer my impressions in the hope that they might help you. Feel free to keep them or trash them, they are all yours *Smile*!

Strengths:
When I first read the title, I thought that this story would talk of some piece of art or wall hanging *Facepalm**Laugh* but the description made it clearer. I still wanted to read though as I knew it would be a fun and a light read and I was dead right about it, at least for the first half. *Laugh*

As spoken about earlier, the tone is light which perfectly suited this story which is meant to humor. When I read the lines “It had been a grand time to get laid.” It cracked me as I imagined the narrator enjoying his fantasies <please don’t judge me *Laugh*> The further ordeal of his to climb the were well described too with lines such as these, which stand out:

“I am a little too round for this type of climbing he thought, and wished that city maintenance had not removed the guard rail.”

“He could not survive such a fall, but it would be an end to his self hatred, the sleepless nights and the obsession about getting fried.”

During the latter half, your twist takes over the story and I must say I liked it because it adds a humane angle to the plot – one of being depressed, not accepted by the society. It is dark but that doesn’t mean that it is not the reality!

Suggestions
Umm, see this is a good plot wherein you twist a known ending but in my opinion, because of the description and the title I was able to guess the “legend”, so as to say. Would it have been better if you had not given much hint to the reader that what story you were aiming to twist? I can’t help wondering the effect of the “surprise” ending had I not known the fact that the tale is about “that” legend. I hope you understand what I mean; whether you take it into consideration or not is solely up to you *Smile*

The lasting memory of this piece in my mind
To me, the following lines symbolize the fact that we all enjoy the pain in not the most obvious ways, maybe:
“He was feeling sorry for himself and that was an activity best savored alone”

The overall feel
This is a good plot which you have thought of, I think. It you retouch it at certain places, I am sure you would have something even more glowing at hand. Feel free to call me in, if you decide to rewrite some portions of the story
*Smile*

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Keep writing and keep rocking.

Thanks,
Nishank

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125
125
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi Whiskerfacebythefireplace ! I just finished reading "I cannot, cannot write a poem"  and I would like to offer you these impressions. I am not an accomplished writer or reviewer so please feel free to use or trash them. They are all yours *Smile*:

Strengths
Oh my god, this is some laugh riot. Line after line I kept smiling from ear to ear. The title sucked me into reading and I am so darn glad that it did *Laugh*

The rhyming and the rhythm were near perfect and it glided me from one stanza to another. There were not much abnormal bouncing, so as to say.
The story within the poem entertained me and offered enough imagery to make me laugh out loud.

Suggestion

Please notice the following lines:
I can write a letter
Using calligraphy
A friendly note's much better
I chime out a "tee-hee"
If you read aloud, I am sure you would notice a break in flow from the preceding stanza. Also, even if seen in entirety, these lines have a minor rhyming mismatch as calligraphy and tee-hee do not rhyme to the T, you know.
Unfortunately, nothing rhyming with “calligraphy” is coming to my mind, right now *Facepalm* *Laugh*

The lasting memory of this piece in my mind
Frankly speaking, it was difficult choosing from a number of hilarious picks but I will stick with it:

I can write a laundry list
Twenty-five feet long
After which I feel blissed
And bellow out a song

I could imagine myself, writing a long hollow list and then jumping all around, to let everybody know about it.

The overall feel
First things first, the poem blared out loud that hey, this lady can definitely write poems *Laugh* The poem perfectly captures the emotions of the hardships we sometime face while writing a perfectly rhymed and a perfect rhythm poem. Man, these Iambs and Dactyl seem like devouring carnivorous beings at times!

*Star* Thank you for sharing your work! Keep writing and keep rocking.

Thanks,
Nishank
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