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3,213 Public Reviews Given
3,252 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Template most of the time, covering setting/plot/characters/conflict/resolution if applicable. For shorter works, I concentrate more on feelings evoked.
I'm good at...
Short story, chapter reviews and in-depth reviews.
Favorite Genres
Sci-fi, Romance, mystery, children's
Least Favorite Genres
Historical
Favorite Item Types
Short stories, novel chapters
Least Favorite Item Types
essay, editorial, non-fiction, somebody's homework assignment
I will not review...
XGC, poems, prose. I am an animal activist and vegan, so cruelty or violent, unnecessary, death due to negligence is overwhelming. I am unable to review any pieces involving abuse of any kind to anyone. I like to keep my corner or the world happy, because I grew beyond my "challenges" of childhood and don't want to look back.
Public Reviews
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301
Review of The Interview  
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi Dave, Nixie here. You're the last ingredient in my appetizer menu for the activity above.

No, no way. That was the reaction I had at the end. No way should that be happening. Why did I think it was such a daring read? Still pondering that one.

Okay, so mediocre title, and a brief description that could be updated. However, since I often read stories beginning at the conclusion, I had all the info I needed to travel along with your adventure.

Excellent character development, particularly Jasper and his stogie. He definitely came across as you intended. A gnarly old guy with years of experience excited for a new juicy tidbit. He did make me think more of a newspaper reporter than director.

Excellent words choices enhanced the read. *Thumbsup*

Little tidbits along the way added some punch to the story itself. Some of the words were (intentionally?) lyrical and I spotted a sentence or two with alliteration, one of my favorite ways to write. Here's one example.

A sly smirk slowly spread..

Sometimes alliteration sounds like water skipping over a stone to me. High five for that combination.

One problem.Jasper had a smirk, and in the next sentence, Jason had a smirk. oops. Best not to use the same word in close proximity, but it could be argued that both men were snarky characters with similar personalities.

A clean break was indicated with some asterisks with no danger of disrupting the plot. Readers know there's a part 2 for this story, but I wonder how many guessed the twist? I didn't.

Great write!

~Nix out.







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302
Review of A Jump in Time  
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi Sophy. Nixie here. You will be pleased to learn that you are part of the appetizer for the activity above.

Hook
It may seem like a simple title, but it caught my attention. The brief description locked me in and I settled down for a good read.

I'm incredulous that you wrote such an awesome story with all those requirements for the contest. Did I read this was your first piece when you joined? Seems you were a writer before you ever landed here.

It looks like you only edited this once, and yet all I see is perfection. None of the prompts felt forced, which was amazing. My biggest concern was the flashlight, but you worked that one in too.

The parrot was hysterically funny, but also knowledgeable, as the foreboding intensified. The comments made me laugh, but Keith messed up my coolness while reviewing. I wanted to step in and smack him upside the head and tell him to pay attention. But then the parrot jumped on the bar top and sent me off into funny land once again.

This wasn't an uncomplicated plot, or an easy write. Let me take that back. For an author such as yourself, this may have been a breeze. It's hard to imagine a first write being a winner. But reviewers only have to read this story to understand your gift. Thanks for the entertainment.

~Nix out.





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303
303
Review of The Big Race  
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
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Hey, Leger. Nixie here. Dropping by with a review for the activity above. You'll be happy to know you're on my appetizer menu. *Laugh*

Your descriptions of the characters had me laughing as I pictured them in my mind. Excellent descriptors. My favorite was the crack about 'chicken legs'. Oh, and also the guy who added lint from his pocket to the ante.

Why there were only three in this race puzzled me, but it worked like a charm for "The Writer's Cramp" . I'm learning, as I'm reviewing, a simple plot and only a few characters is a good recipe for writing limiting contests.

I would probably be the guy (woman) with the shot-out knees, but never would I show my pain. What a boring story that would be. It reminds me of an ice-skating experiencing. I fell while performing a jump and caught myself with one arm. The pain exploded, but since I'm not one to make a scene, I finished the lesson without a peep. I had broken my arm.

It's fun to read stories that make me laugh. And I enjoy stories that stir up memories of my own. I'd forgotten all about that falling mishap.

Oh, why does there have to be a suggestion?
The first and second line both use the combination of [he stood]. No big deal, especially when writing a story for a fast turnaround.

Thanks for the read. Hope you didn't mind being part of the appetizer.

~Nix out.



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304
Review of June Newsletter  
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
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Hi BBW. Nixie, here, dropping off a review via random review.

I'm thrilled this Newsletter of yours popped up. I've seen your MB around, but never knew what it meant. Even though you were working under less than nominal circumstances, you pulled this off successfully. The NL was informative, friendly and inviting. I can't say this is a genre that would be of interest to me, though. It must take a specific personality to relate on this level, much like my preferred genre is sci-fi.

You included examples and an outside link to aid understanding.*Checkg* I use dictionaries, a thesaurus, wiki and just a general google search to track down information. Good idea to mention that here. I'd never given much thought to how accurate wiki was.

What I liked most were your comments under the Friends section. I had a Twiga when I first joined. Without her, my novelette would never have been completed. And, of all the wonderful things my Twiga helped me with, that novelette won three quills. My shining accomplishment. Sadly, she's no longer a member. She was a person who always understood what I was trying to communicate, even when I wasn't sure myself.

Now I have precious friends who belong to the same group as I do. Without them, well, WdC would not be the same. I have to thank you for giving me this opportunity to 'say my piece' as it were. I may never be an anthro fan, but special friends are a gift.

Not a bad NL considering. *Wink* They are not easy to write.



~Nixie


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305
305
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
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Hi Rojodi. Nixie here. Stopping by with a review via random review.

Right off the bat, you've got this story going. I found the concept most interesting, as I like to play with alternate universes and missing items. *Wink*

I couldn't help but notice this is hasn't been edited since 2018, which is sad. But I have stories marked private I intend to continue, but it never happens. Maybe this is all you set out to do and you're continuing with your work.

The 'removing her clothing' threw me for a loop, taken out of context, perhaps? Why does Campion and his associates require that? If this outline is revision #3 is this the time to add in some more details?

The mention of a character who uses his empathy gift to change minds had me confused. I thought you were referring to Empaths. But I googled empath, and found it was primarily used in sci-fi. Wonderful! I learned something new today.

I scanned all the notes until I reached the ending. Even without knowing the full story I felt vindicated and happy. The acronym NSFW sounded fascinating. I wonder what it stands for?

All in all, this is most likely a story I would enjoy, if you ever pick it up again.

~Nixie *Smile*





~Nixie


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306
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
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Max, every time I stumble over your portfolio (random review was the vehicle this time) excellence in all aspects of writing jump from the page.
You have an impressive and subtle way to work facts into your story, with rich detail.

All the scenes were easily imagined. And dang that awful company. Good for Jeff, paying attention to his moral compass.

The characters were no exception. I liked reading about Corbett the best. Your writing voice is wonderful, and Jeff's thoughts were clever and humorous. This chapter kept my attention from beginning to end. I'm not sure Jeff's new position will be safe, however. What a tantalizing conclusion to this chapter. Jeff's a good person, but he's desperate. That's a bad combination. The man has no choice but to take up the offer.

Have you written any more chapters? You could post the link at the bottom so readers can keep on going without returning to your portfolio to look. Just saying.

Along with Corbett's description, which gave me the shivers, she's evil in and out. I picked this sentence out as I was reading.

Uh Oh. This sounded ominous.
"Have you liked working here, Mr. Clement?"

Lapse of attention
He glanced back Hightower

*Down*

I appreciate it, but I don't need a pllace right now.

Thanks for the read, and please let me know if there are more chapters. Right now, I'm on a mission to complete the appetizer at "Talent Pond New Year Review Dinner Party" 

Write on, you masterful word smith. You know this is a five star story, right?*Wink*

~Nix out.


The past is the present is the future


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307
307
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Hi Melisscious. Nixie here.

What a harrowing story. My anxiety level mounted with every word as I tried to make sense of what happened after the crash. Learning about what you endured, and all alone by yourself, had my heart thumping. But what was revealed in the end? Exactly how and where the car landed added a whole new level of tension. I can't imagine being alone in the dark, with no awareness or sense of what happened.

Point of interest > I never thought about what was actually in air bags.

I have one suggestion. Let the story begin when the action begins. As the autobiography unfolds, your reader will learn everything they need to know. Or maybe write 'introduction' at the top where you begin. This is your story, tell it your way, whatever works best for you. For me, it was a hard transition from trying to discern how those facts would fit into the work, and then having to dive into the action.

One difficulty when writing first POV is learning how not to start most sentences with "I". It's not easy, at least not for me. Secondly, full caps are not something people see in written works. It's possible to show how scared you were, rather than putting that word in caps. I don't think you need that sentence at all. Your fear is tangible.

I'm still asking myself how the beginning will come into play. It sounds unjust, but wise. Please keep writing and sharing your autobiography. Many questions hang, and that's a good thing. If you write another 'chapter' be sure to link it at the bottom so the reader can easily transition from one part to the next. (Use a bitem, or item link) If you haven't learned yet, email me and I can show you. *Smile*



Love this image from Brooke! Personal signature


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308
308
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi Amolika. Nixie here.

The title of this story caught my eye, so good job there. In the brief description, author's write a clip to give the reader a clue as to the content. (We know your name from your work.) *Wink*

What a powerful write. I don't know your character's name, but her journey held my attention from beginning to end. Excellent job showing her vanity, which I sided with. The tone told me the story was moving towards disaster, but I liked reading about her beautiful hair and how it was like her mother's. I'd probably feel the same way.

But through your character's actions, a lesson is learned. And it's a great one. Our power, our strength, our belief in ourselves comes from within. Whatever is external is only that. Appearances.

People tend to judge from the outside, the cover of the book, as it were. And sometimes, that's what people internalize.

You've created a strong character and a compelling plot. It was easy to sympathize with the girl's woes. Especially for a girl entering high school with such negativity attached to her. I liked the tension that slowly built as she waited for test results. I know too much about that!

But your girl's a heroine and found her way to what really matters in life. I was only sad the circumstances were so tragic. I bet her hair grows back in now, too.

My favorite line:
each day tasted like a new level of anxiety.

Thanks for sharing your work with the community. We're all like family here, and I hope you'll also find WdC to be your second home. *Bigsmile* Keep writing!


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309
Review of Words do hurt  
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi, Miss Rena. Nixie here.

What a powerful piece you've written. I can feel the pain behind the words. I've heard people say awful things about me, or I've accepted treatment less than I deserved from another person. I wonder why humans inflict so much pain on each other? It takes more energy to hate or be mean rather than spreading positivity.

A few thoughts. Make sure to capitalize 'I' in sentences.
Hearing them replay as i fall asleep

Oops, lapse of attention *Wink*
Sticks and stones break our bones but words [cant] ever hurt me?
[can't]

Consider sorting this out for an easier read by creating stanzas. Your words will stand out more and each will be experienced fully.

All the rhymes worked well. Nothing felt forced. Although painful to read, the flow was smooth. Toward the end, I felt tension building, or the emotions ready to spill over, as if all the lines before were shooting toward a crescendo. Which they did!

There's one place I have to disagree. You do not want those words in your head. They don't belong to you. Lock his thoughts in a box and launch it into space. Keep those words imprisoned somewhere. Whatever visualization works for you. Don't let him take your power away.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us today. *Smile*



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310
310
Review of in the dark  
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (2.5)
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Hi Shawn,

From what I can understand from this 'short story', you're writing your heart out to help you overcome a great sadness. I think you had a girls's best interest in mind. It's normal for people to want to help someone who is sad. Or are you saying you're drawn to a person who lights up your dark life?

Everyone experiences something like this in their lifetime. One may want another so desperately, they are blinded and cannot see what's really happening. Eventually, one learns they cannot make another person feel anything. We have power over our reactions, but that's it.

Interesting, I was just speaking with another member about how people interact.

A great idea to help the reader understand would be to clean this up a bit. I'm guessing you put thoughts in your head to words on 'paper', which is fine. But you're offering your work for public consumption. We should always write the best we can. And I believe you're capable.

A few tips. Use punctuation, put spaces between words, try to avoid repetition. Can you put a paragraph or two in? Right now, the reader is looking at a block of text.

Is this really a short story? I'm sorry if I read this as a personal outcry if you meant it to be fiction. Either way, the same suggestions apply. If it's not a short story, you can change the category to 'personal' 'non-fiction' or what feels right to you.

Please keep writing, either personal entries, poems, short stories, whatever you want. The more you write, the better your work becomes. It's one way writer's learn. It also helps to review others' work. *Wink*

I'm sorry for such sorrow, but it's good to release your feelings by writing. Just around the corner a bright light is shining.

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311
311
for entry "Slippery When Wet" 
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Intuey. Nixie here, dropping off a review for "I Write in 2020" 

I like reading blog entries because the words come from the heart. It's also a wonderful vehicle for people to meet one another.

Such a sad, heartbreaking story. I'm still trying to picture your house after the truck hit it. Totally bizarre.

You have a friendly voice, inviting readers into your 'home'. I relate well to this as I have awful times behind me, but I'm a mom of 3 adult children. And I have 3 grandchildren.

Also, I stopped in Georgia for a bit while I got my feet under me and then moved to Florida. What a coincidence.

Good advice. Focus on the positive and move forward.

~Nixie *Smile*

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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell


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312
312
Review of Thief  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Myles! Random review dropped me in your port again.

The title and brief description work for the hook, although I liked the brief description better than the title.

I enjoy stories that begin with explosive dialogue. It sets the mood immediately, and maybe the reader's heart skipped a bit in anticipation. Both characters' names appeared in the beginning, and the relationship between them was established. *Checkg*

Kate sounded so patient while Mick ranted. Until she finally had the chance to get a word in! Mick sure liked that screwdriver. He had his name engraved on it.

Which made the twist that much more surprising. The dialogue flowed easily and naturally. I had to laugh at Kate, who knew what was going on from the beginning.

I thank you for the larger font and generous spacing. Most times, squinting is involved. Great write for flash fiction! Concise and fun to read. My plots are usually convoluted. I need to work on thinning them down. That's what these type of contests teach. You gave me a good example to learn from. *Bigsmile*


Reviewing your work was
My Pleasure tks.

Nixie
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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell


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313
313
Review of Thief  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Myles! Random review dropped me in your port again.

The title and brief description work for the hook, although I liked the brief description better than the title.

I enjoy stories that begin with explosive dialogue. It sets the mood immediately, and maybe the reader's heart skipped a bit in anticipation. Both characters' names appeared in the beginning, and the relationship between them was established. *Checkg*

Kate sounded so patient while Mick ranted. Until she finally had the chance to get a word in! Mick sure liked that screwdriver. He had his name engraved on it.

Which made the twist that much more surprising. The dialogue flowed easily and naturally. I had to laugh at Kate, who knew what was going on from the beginning.

I thank you for the larger font and generous spacing. Most times, squinting is involved. Great write for flash fiction! Concise and fun to read. My plots are usually convoluted. I need to work on thinning them down. That's what these type of contests teach. You gave me a good example to learn from. *Bigsmile*


Reviewing your work was
My Pleasure tks.

Nixie
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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell


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314
314
Review of Kelli  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Arakun. Nixie here with an anniversary review.

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
*CakeB* "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeB*



All your stories are worthy of a read and review, but horror scares me. *Laugh* I'm happy to have found a story that made me happy.

Maybe because I'm a mom and have three grandchildren, stories with kids have a special place in my heart. I liked Kelli and her dramatic entrance. The mom asked all the right questions.

Favorite sentence
She said the word "boy" as if she were saying "cockroach".

Punctuation slipped your mind. Since there's no direct dialogue, quotation marks are not used. The placement of the period would have been a lot easier if it were dialogue. The period after the ['] looks weird, because all punctuation has to be inside the quotation marks.

She said the word 'boy' as if she were saying 'cockroach'. *Confused*
Or...you could use italics.

All your characters were vivid in my mind, and I could see the scene playing out.

Great write from 2007 *Shock2*

~Nixie

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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell



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315
315
Review of Hopeless Romance  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi charmed. Nixie here, with an anniversary review.

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
*CakeB* "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeB*



These type of challenges can be so challenging. *Laugh* All an author can do is write and move on. So, considering the circumstances, you wrote an excellent story, complete with characters, conflict, setting and resolution.

The story opened quickly with two characters parting, which gave me a clue as to the conclusion.

He also thought Cammie’s dream just a frivolous quest,
With the word [also] in this sentence, I wondered who else thought the quest was frivolous. (excellent word choice.)

Mark got on bended knee.
and then a few sentences later
Mark jumped out of his seat

Mark was definitely ready to be married, but I felt (even though it wasn't specifically expressed) Cammie's presence hidden in the plot.

But I did guess the conclusion. Not the twist, though. Nicely done!

~Nixie

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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell


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316
316
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there! Nixie here dropping off an anniversary review.

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
*CakeB* "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeB*



I wasn't positive I could read this entire story. I kept thinking, go back now, stop reading. Your plot grabbed me from the first because I have an affinity with trees. Often, I think how wise they must be, standing still for hundreds of years, absorbing emotions and actions. You did a wonderful job showing my feelings. And the characters'.

The story was sad from the beginning because it began in the past. The brief description also alerted the reader. I like your character and the way she expresses herself. From watching medical shows *RollEyes* I felt her pain from the skin grafting. I wondered if she really was the damaged girl she saw, or if that was only her perception. Probably the scarring was the truth.

In the end, the reader learned she'd been scarred in a place that won't heal. No wonder that woman can't move on. I'd like to encourage her, but her despair was all too real.

The first paragraph read a bit rough, due to all the passive verbs.

dreams and ideas would [flow] like streams of cool water. I could fill notebooks with magical words, [flowing] effortlessly into poems and stories.

Hmm. same words too close together.

Treasures don't last forever. Even trees. *Sad*

Beautiful images of her sitting on the quilt breathed life into the sad story. That is my take-away. I'll remember that tree before the fire, and I'll remember the girl, and I'll try to forget the woman and the conclusion. (a tiny bit predictable.)

Nice write!


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317
317
Review of Haste And Hurry  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there! Nixie dropping by with an early anniversary review.

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
*CakeB* "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeB*



Lovely cover art, a descriptive brief, excellent title. It's all the hook I need!

Wow, what an energetic and frenzied poem. The mood is a busy one, with all the leaves in action. Excellent word choices. I'm not sure how you came up with all those verbs that fit together, stanza after stanza. With the (ing) endings for every first line the poem carried me away like the wind!

I also noticed the last line of every stanza rhymes with all the others? I'm thinking this is a specific form of poetry. Surely, it must have been a challenge to write. I googled the rhyming scheme for reference, but nothing I saw seemed to fit.

Overall, what a lovely piece that captures the season coming and going. *Smile*




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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell



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318
318
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Kewpie doll. (I picked that name up from your bio. I've always wondered.

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
*CakeB* "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeB*



Now you've gone and done it. *Laugh* I understand the meaning of this story, it's supposed to be scary. But in reality, some people think of cats in this manner. So, good choice for this contest. *Checkg*

Honestly, I didn't want to keep reading this. I have a half-feral black cat rescued from a parking lot. She's never been vicious like this cat, only frightened. She's much better now.

The way you wrote this made me feel those claws going into my legs. You effectively created a fear of this animal. How could it hurt an injured housemate? (The action made perfect sense.) Why didn't the family know the other cat was sick? Yes, I know it's just a story. But it seems so real.

The plot flowed smoothly, but I couldn't help wondering if it was too repetitious. The clawing, the hiding. I waited for some other evil action, but can't think of what that might be. Adding in the dog helped.

Sorry, but I resent that family for trying to strike the animal. See how much I related to your story? Nicely done.

In the end, the family had to be rid of Midnight. My goodness, that cover art is terrifying. Anyhow, congrats for winning the contest! A well-deserved win!


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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell



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319
319
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there. Nixie here, dropping off a Superpower review for your anniversary.

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
*CakeB* "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeB*



Okay, so in my head I've been composing a 'Dear Me' letter for 2020. I never imagined writing one this way, I had only bullet points in mind.

Your letter to yourself was full of compassion and encouragement. I liked the kindness you allowed for yourself, understanding what you've been through and the obstacles you'd like to overcome. Now it's 2020, I wonder if anything worked out for you. We never do see what's coming at us.

I read the mention of losing your sister, and I almost flipped over to reading that piece instead. But I lost my sister in 1983. She was only thirty years old. I've never recovered from the shock, but, well, I'm tearing up. I'll always miss her. I didn't expect the pain to ever let go of me, but finally it has. Funny, before the pain faded, she'd pop into my head once in a while. Now she's gone, and I can't get her back. Same as you, I've written about her, and that helps.

Anyhow, I thought I'd share that story with you, since we have it in common. And I hope my words haven't exacerbated the memories of her.

Thanks to you, I've had a chance to express myself, and you've inspired me, should I decide to write a letter to myself. I'd most likely come down really hard on myself, which has always been my way.

You take care, now.
~Nixie





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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell



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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Mara. I don't think I've ever drifted across your portfolio. I'm Nixie, here with an anniversary review.

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
*CakeB* "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeB*


Through the years I've reviewed some fabulous stories. But wow! I forgot how a superlative story read.

First, allow me to express my admiration for the way your story was composed. The sentences were never dull, only informative, moving the plot along, while showing us Jude. A perfect example of show vs. tell.

Right from the beginning, we see Trinity with all its woes. Never have I heard the line about no train tracks running through a city. When I read that, I knew Jude was doomed. She'd already lost so much, and then she lost her residence.

What a smooth transition from POV to the brothers talking to each other. The line break/divider helped.

As we entered Garrett's story, a different type of emotion prevailed. Happiness between brothers. Garret's impending future.

Honestly, I had no hope for a happy ending. I guess Garrett and (mostly) Jude left behind the parents' judgement.

One question about this sentence
Sloughing a trembling hand over his handsome features
[Sloughing] has negative implications. Were you going for the opposite, because with the mention of [handsome] the sentence becomes ironic.

So many emotions were evoked. Sadness, humor, anger, despair, and finally, joy.

Thanks for the read. Happy Anniversary!


Glitter horse image and me

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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell



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321
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Review of One Man's Junk  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Genipher! Nixie here. I found your story tucked away in my draft reviews.

From beginning to end summary
Nothing explosive about the title. A bit trite.

Sometimes I begin a story by reading the conclusion first. I also read magazines from the middle out.

So, in this manner, I wondered, at the end, who Tammy was. I searched the story and found one reference to her. I think a bit more about her needs to be included.

Hot spots I liked
Expressive images filled my mind as the story wound around Jemmry's vivid description (finally an alien I could visualize) and David's knowledge of how this species bartered. High five for the setting: smells (the cigar) sound (glass breaking and more) sight (Jemmey). These important factors brought the story to life.

Differences in the boy's outlook on life effectively showed each personality.

The best part for me was David trashing Jemmry's store. *Laugh* The holy shroud of Mork'n'Mindy? Hilarious.

Questions or comments
As mentioned above, I would have liked to learn more about Tammy so I wasn't asking questions when I read the last line.

The end of everything
An AI popped out of what looked to be a hologram and took on a solid form? MY type of sci-fi. But spiders? There's not a big enough weapon to keep me on that ship.

Thanks for the concise and adventurous read!




The past is the present is the future
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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell


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322
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Review of Panda-monium  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Ken. Nixie here, landing on your portfolio, as I often do.


*Baretree3*
The Hook
Haha. A reviewer has to take a serious look at the title and brief description, otherwise it looks like what one would expect to see. "Pandemonium" and a 'very' serious commotion.

*Baretree3*
A closer look
I like how the story began with a character and a question. Then, I got to the 'towering height' and knew I'd been immersed in a total 'Ken' experience. You must have a heart full of joy, since you never make a misstep in your meanderings. Every word has a purpose. None are wasted.

The scene was sketched out completely, nicely done with a limited word count. I missed one example, so most likely I'm the one who's confused.
I was thinking 'Kung-Fu' should be Kung Fur.

Both 'characters' are clearly defined, and certainly well-read. And what kind of a reviewer would I be if there were no high-fives for using and explaining 'Syung'?

*Baretree3*
Emotions evoked
I've never been a bear and can't relate to the 'characters', so I enjoyed all the intentional 'misspells' and play on words.


*Baretree3*
A closed book=lasting impression
Once again, I leave your port behind looking like this. *Bigsmile* or possibly this *RollEyes* *Laugh*



Love this image from Brooke! Personal signature

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Review of Circle: Chapter 1  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi Vjay. Nixie here, flipping through random reviews and landing in your port!

*Ornament1B*
Mostly I was confused, but the message was there. The only constant in the universe is change, and in this chapter, that change means death.

*Ornament1B*
The beginning didn't make much sense to me. The opening sentence, your chance to hook a reader, is a run-on, with no spacing between words.

A hall full of people doing what? Mourning him? And why be upset if no one is crying [her] heart out?? No guys around to be sad?

Seems the narrator is dead and having a bit of fun in his altered state. Why will he only be famous for 14 more days?

*Ornament1B*
If the font size was increased, and more spacing was used between sentences, this would be much easier to read. *Checkg*

I saw several misspells and grammatical errors. If you read this aloud to yourself, the mistakes will be evident. Really, it works!

If a reviewer points out all the errors, an author might be discouraged. I don't want that to happen. I'm sure you can clear this up on own.

The last line brought a smile. *Smile*

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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell


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324
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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi Neva. Nixie here, flipping through random review and landed in your port!

*Ornament1B*
What a unique poem you have here. The title was a little weak, but the brief description and content more than made up for that. And, the title is used in the poem, something I like. A sense of thoroughness, perhaps?

*Ornament1B*
You hooked me by line one, and stanza by stanza the suspense mounted. I like the words carefully chosen. No need to rhyme them. (maybe) That's the only thing that interrupted the flow. I caught a few rhymes and kept looking for more.

*Ornament1B*
I'm embarrassed to say I had to look up the meaning of will-o'-the-wisp. But when I did, the word brought the poem to a higher level of meaning. She's more than a ghost, a bit creepier by using that word. Well done!


*Ornament1B*
Me? I look for symmetry in poems, an even balancing of lines. The length of the first line matches the length of the seventh line in stanza two. Add in the first line of stanza four, and there's a bit of symmetry.


*Ornament1B*
Punctuation is inconsistent, which is the author's privilege. You're a fantastical poem/prose writer, so I'm just throwing this out there. I was taught no punctuation or consistent punctuation. I wonder if prose would be a better category than poem.

I liked the dreadful, chilly last line. It wraps up the work, leaving the reader with a sense of vengeful satisfaction.

Since words are in bold, I'm assuming this was for a contest. None of the required words felt forced or i-ll-fitting, other than the uneven stanzas and lines.

Overall~ excellent work!

~Nixie

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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell


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325
Review of How I got Goldie  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Rhychus. Nixie here, landing on your story via read and review option.

*Candycaner*
Oh, that cover art could make me cry. Even though I don't like dogs because they stink. I liked the brief description because it sounded interesting, and could have meant anything. How shunning a wave matched with the cover art was a mystery I had to solve.

The rhymes all worked, relating more story than poem. The poem had an even cadence, the punctuation showing the way. *Thumbsup* The 4th line in the first stanza made me uneasy. It sounded as if this was the person responsible for killing something. Peeling out and blowing the horn sounds like someone obnoxious. Nice neighbors. *Smile*

*Candycaner* What a truly awful person who mistreated dogs. One time, someone killed my cat with their car and drove away. I guess they felt awful and escaping seemed the best solution for them.

So I approached the last few verses of your work with care. Surely some disaster was near. Had I paid attention to the title, I would have worried less. Not every person is willing to take in a stray or abused animal. (I have, several times.)

*Candycaner*
So, this contest entry isn't marked 'personal' or 'experience' but it sounded like your words came from the heart. From personal experience. I'm eternally grateful for people who care, people who are not haters. People who write like you.

~Nixie


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