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Review Requests: OFF
3,208 Public Reviews Given
3,247 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Template most of the time, covering setting/plot/characters/conflict/resolution if applicable. For shorter works, I concentrate more on feelings evoked.
I'm good at...
Short story, chapter reviews and in-depth reviews.
Favorite Genres
Sci-fi, Romance, mystery, children's
Least Favorite Genres
Historical
Favorite Item Types
Short stories, novel chapters
Least Favorite Item Types
essay, editorial, non-fiction, somebody's homework assignment
I will not review...
XGC, poems, prose. I am an animal activist and vegan, so cruelty or violent, unnecessary, death due to negligence is overwhelming. I am unable to review any pieces involving abuse of any kind to anyone. I like to keep my corner or the world happy, because I grew beyond my "challenges" of childhood and don't want to look back.
Public Reviews
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26
26
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Louis Williams Nixie here. I found your prose via random review.



*Baretree3*
Your choice of title is vivid and inviting. The brief description prepares the reader for what's to come. I always hesitate over that part. Do I want to tell the reader? Or do I want them to find out?

I've lived through many hurricanes and the damage is sometimes devastating. I've seen roofs ripped from houses, trees fallen on vehicles, power lines down, which, one time, meant I had no power for four days. Many go weeks without power.

*Baretree3*
I have a few questions.
"Castles crumbled all around, with stone wall kicked in"
Do you mean that phrase literally? I wonder where a place like
this could be. A place with hurricanes and castles. Hmm.

"kids with lego blocks smashed to the ground"
Kids are smashed to the ground? That's disturbing.


*Baretree3*
You might want to consider breaking this up into stanzas for an easier read. BTW-this is prose, not poetry. Poetry has a rhyming scheme. That's awfully picky of me.

You absolutely cinched the work in the final two lines. The personification of the hurricane caught me off guard, in a delightful way.

Thanks for the read.

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27
27
Review of Whirring  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Isedora Klopper Nixie here. I found your item via random review.



*Baretree3*A few thoughts popped instantly into my mind, so here's how it goes. I need to get them out of my head. First, it's no big deal, but what you've written is 'prose' not poetry. Next, this presents as a huge block of text that all runs together.

I definitely would not use 'nonsense' as a genre. There is nothing nonsensical about this. Your prose sounds personal, so there's always the choice of 'nonfiction', but that's obvious.

*Baretree3*
Okay, now my head is clear of distractions. My takeaway is that your thoughts are probably universal. I know they rang true for me. I'm already wishing this day were over.

Your 'philosophy' is expressed in a way that draws in the reader. It's too sad that the words are all jumbled together and the succession of thoughts is confusing due to punctuation.

A suggestion - break this up into natural-flowing stanzas. If a line is carried to the next as one thought, there's no need to capitalize the first letter. Revising that small issue will also help.

*Baretree3*
You have so much to give. Keep writing!



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28
28
Review of The smile  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Benjamin Nixie here. I landed on your poem via random review.


*Baretree3*
These stout words of yours demand a round of applause. You've deeply probed the foundation of society and our place within the chaos. The message of self-empowerment and determination to remain true to ourselves rings with authenticity. At times, no kidding, my heart clenched. The victorious last line neatly and movingly summed up the poem.

*Baretree3*
Commas can be a bane to our writing existence. This is an area where a writer can improve. The flow of this prose would be maintained without those dang commas interrupting the overall rhythm.

Some editing would strengthen weak phrasing. This one bothered me the most.
"Society's judgment, we don't have to be swayed by their wrath"

I don't rewrite others' work to show as a suggestion, but this line can be tightened up, perhaps by rephrasing 'we don't have'. (passive verb)

What is the title you chose? The one in the title space, or the one at the top of the poem? My vote is for the title. I liked the brief description. It concisely introduced the theme.

Rather than 'other' choose 'prose'.

*Baretree3*
I didn't check the line count, but here's a contest where you can possibly submit your poem. "Shadows and Light Poetry Contest" 

Thanks for the opportunity to read and review your work. Keep writing!

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29
29
Review of A Place I Go  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Spiritual Dawning Nixie here. I'm sending you a return review as thanks for yours.

*Baretree3*
Well, here I am, after reading the fifth stanza, tears in my eyes. The relief I felt reading your words was profound. I can see myself shrugging off a large boulder that's been riding on my back.

It seems we're in some sort of alignment. Are the stars connecting people of similar observations?

I like the centering of the poem. Not everyone does it, so when I see one the impact of the words is stronger. The lines are even throughout, which also is appealing to me.

I've read this five times now, yet still can't find adequate words to express myself. You've captured the essence of living. Sometimes stumbling along, believing that will always be a person's way. And then turning around (okay, I can't resist the rhyme) to see a brighter day.

The last few weeks have been particularly difficult for me. Your poem evidently came my way at the exact time I needed to hear this message. Thank you.





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Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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30
30
Review of Music Notes  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Amethyst Angel (House Mormont) Nixie here, again, reviewing this item for "I Write in 2024" 

What a beautiful piece you've written. Even though the material is nothing I'm acquainted with, I had no trouble tuning in for the music and connecting with your words. The flow was majestic, with nary a hiccup. I appreciated the spacing and larger font. Your thoughts are expressed with frankness, and your willingness to share is admirable.

The image we 'see' looking in seems perfect but is often distorted, especially with celebrities. And that's true for everyone. What we often envy/admire is only frosting. So that whole paragraph (...seemed like the perfect couple) is universal to all. That's why I mentioned it here.

I listened to the video while I was stressed out over something silly, and the melody soaked into me, soothing and calm.

Your word choices elicited an unexpected read, and nothing was repeated. Well done, and thanks for the read!

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31
31
for entry "Friendship" 
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Angelica- House Florent B & W Nixie here, reviewing this item for "I Write in 2024" 

*Gears*
I liked your poem, even with the simplified rhymes. I wish my life experiences were reflected here. Other than online friends here, I have none. Long ago, my mom told me not to have friends, because when the friendship broke up, the person would tell everyone else what I'd confided.

*Gears*
When I lived in Maine, I had one friend, and all these years later, I still think of her. We worked in the same place, we both had awful husbands and wonderful kids. That's one friendship I could call true blue.

*Gears*
The message ran deeper than the rhyming, and it sounds quite profound. Unfortunately, I couldn't make sense of it. The second stanza means that friendship, like any relationship, has bumps in the road? And the next stanza means being away from each other never dilutes the friendship?

*Gears*
I feel clumsy, loafing around here, thinking. I do like challenges, and the time spent was well worth the effort.


~Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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32
32
for entry "Today's World " 
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi Kenzie Nixie here. This is a thank you review. "Review Your Reviewer" 

"Today's World " 

*Baretree3*
I was fascinated by this entry. Science fiction, even stories I wrote years ago, have become real. What is real? Everyone's perception is different. Sorry, OT. But you prompted my thought, which is a wonderful achievement for a writer.

*Baretree3*
You packed a ton of thoughts to speculate upon in only a few words. In high school, we needed a permission slip from our parents to watch the movie Big Brother. Compared to the social media we have today, that movie was a mild version of what has come to pass.

We actually 'help' the modern day big brother by answering polls that give away personal information, posting on said social media, and so much more.

*Starp* People actually believe what they read, when often the article is merely a gathering of other 'news' on the internet.

*Baretree3*
I consider my parents (WW2 era) the last greatest generation. They had class and elegance. We are de-evolving.

*Baretree3*
Your final sentence reminded me of the song The Sound of Silence, this line in particular. "People hearing without listening".

It's natural for language to evolve, even if it sounds weird to us. Remember our parents being worried about the influence of rock and roll?

Will the younger generations miss baby boomers. I doubt we even exist in their collective minds. And I've already fallen far behind on the new tech race. My grandsons will have to teach me.

*Starp* At any rate, reading this was my pleasure. I actually have to stop typing lest you receive a 2000 c/c review. Thanks for your thought-provoking words.




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33
33
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi jackiesmuse Nixie here. I found your item viz the random review option.


*Baretree3*
Two years later, I came upon your brief story. I can't imagine making any changes, but here it is. Now that's it's no longer a contest entry, you could change to 'art' for a genre.

*Baretree3*
Excellent title choice, considering the plot. W/c in the title always looks weird to me, but maybe it was a requirement.

I absolutely love both characters, and have been in similar situations, by misinterpreting a picture. Moms can't ask, 'what is it, honey?' because that can crush a child's spirit.

*Baretree3*
I'm still grinning after reading this. That last line was funny, yet precious. Oh, that could be the second genre, and then children.

Both characters felt real to me. The mom obviously cares deeply and found a way to diffuse a situation.

What I didn't understand was the exclamation point after the sentence (Thanks, Mom!) Remember, if possible to show feelings through actions, not dialogue.

If you had enough room, a bit more setting would be nice. As I said in the beginning, what's the point of editing the work now? I wouldn't. However, the comments are something to keep in mind for future writing adventures. Keep writing!




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34
34
Review of Safety Concerns  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Amethyst Angel (House Mormont) Nixie here, again, participating in "Review Your Reviewer" 



*Baretree3*
First, I have to say, you are one prolific writer! I completed a review of your wolf story, and now I found a steampunk story.

I wasn't crazy about the title, maybe because it only embraced one of the themes, and I didn't think anything in the plot was 'haunting'. Mysterious might be a better word.

*Baretree3*
The formality of the language caught my attention and piqued my curiosity. As I continued and unwrapped the steampunk elements that drove the story, everything made sense. I never would have guessed the invention was for making bread.

Again, your descriptions were vivid and compelling. The dialogue between the siblings flowed smoothly, despite the stilted language required for this theme.

*Baretree3*
Along with the invention theme, societal observations were included. Same as Marie Curie, unable to publish under her own name in a man's world, I fear nothing has changed. Sure, maybe women have careers, but on the inside of corporate workings it's still a boys club.

The plot was multi-layered. The conflict arose regarding the missing objects. I was astonished by how well you included the father's actions and then his motivation behind the sabotage. Well done. And sweet little Melody was able to ally all his fears.

*Baretree3*
This line, spoken by the father confused me.
"If I had only been honest with us."

*BareTree3*
I wasn't sure what to expect when Julian received the ribbon. I wanted him to hand it over to Melody. The fact that he did demonstrated both his sound character, and the love for his sister.

On top of everything, you've woven a story about a loving family.
Fantastic write!





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35
35
Review of The Wolf Speaks  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Amethyst Angel (House Mormont) Nixie here. I'm returning a review favor by participating in this forum. "Review Your Reviewer" 



*Baretree3*
The cover art fits the story like a twin. The first sentence is glorious in description. (frosted moon)

The sensory details, sight, sound, and the visuals drew me right into this story. Adding smell and letting the reader know what the weather was would enhance the experience.

I pictured winter, mostly because it made sense to me that the child would be alone and shivering, because the moon was (frosted). That set a tone for cold. The final scene showed the weather, so maybe introduce it sooner?

*Baretree3*
I'm fascinated by wolf-lore, and imagined the wolves in this story as being hip-high to a human, while seated. I thought the plot would run with the traditional but unrealistic theme of wolves raising a child. All the drawbacks were covered here, conveyed in the child's reasoning on how to exist in the wild. I liked the reality being shown.

*Baretree3*
I can see that cottage in my mind, with the woman gardening. The sensory delights in the last few paragraphs were entrancing. I had already guessed the conclusion, but that didn't detract from my enjoyment. Beautifully executed. Thanks for the read. *Smile*


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36
36
for entry "February " 
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Sue. Nixie here, reviewing this item for "I Write in 2024" 

Overall Impression
Dang, I have to admit to being confused. I've only lived in the states, so googling antipode for a definition was fun. The first two lines made sense, but the third line seemed to be missing a word. And I puzzled over the need for a comma.

"A summer, that really (is)? a bummer"

I'm chalking this up to a cultural difference.

The second stanza warmed my heart. When my dad was alive, every Valentine's Day he'd show up with a heart-shaped box of candies.

After reading the last line, I looked like this *Right* *Laugh*
and I have to add this: *Thumbsup* for cleverness.

The quote from the Farmer's Almanac punched up the level of enjoyment. Because I'm not a member, is it possible this was the prompt?

I appreciated the enlarged, bold font.

Because I was confused, I checked the comments for this entry. Both were positive, indicating something slipped past that would have made the first stanza transparent to me.

So, congrats on completing a successful entry. In Florida, February can still be hot, but this year we've had temps in the 40s. That is winter here. I'm wary of hitting 'submit' because sometimes I 'get' the poem or story hours later.

I'm struggling trying not to overthink this review, so I'll close with "Thanks for the read."


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37
37
Review of Broken Reality  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi SherritheWriter Nixie here. I found your story on the request a review page


*Baretree3*
Overall impression
Wow! Your title choice is alluring. I'm fascinated by how each of us perceives reality. It's different for everyone, so what is real?

Antique stores are fascinating. I've found many treasures over the years. One thing I don't like is the 'musty' odor of the store and some of the things for sale. Like furniture, for example. Smell might be a good sensory detail to add.
One armoire we bought contained a poltergeist, and I had to get rid of that piece. (long story).

"I’m fine,” Avira said.
“Sure, I’m fine,” she told her boyfriend.

Whenever I hear someone say they're fine, I know they're not. I related to this phrase easily.

Another downsign is lingering energy signatures, which you captured beautifully in this sentence.
"...the energy of life is made of the past, present, and future."

*Baretree3*
Suggestions
Repetition

"...woke Avira from a deep sleep. She turned over, rubbing sleep from her eyes and looking around the dark room. How long had she slept? *Down*
Suggest finding another word for (slept/sleep)

Suggest removing (planning to submit...) from the brief description, unless you're trying to keep track of something. Otherwise, it's distracting.

...I’d better get something to eat and get ready for work.”
A few sentences later, she's worried about her friend becoming sick. So why would she be going to work?

Repetition
“It feels like everything is slipping away.
three sentences later
Everything is slipping away.”

Kaylan:
"I was (wasn't) going to hang this on your tree until Christmas.."
Nothing in the story hinted at a deep romance, making the proposal abrupt.

*Baretree3*
Emotions evoked
I wanted to race to the end of the story, so I forced myself to slow down. That ornament Avira found is a treasure I'd adore. When it shattered, I was heartbroken.

So, the overall message is live in the present? I don't believe in past/present/future. It seemed important to throw in one my personal observations.

I can't really explain it, but the story feels 'bald' as if more description was needed. The one line dialogues contribute to this sense of something missing. White space is an attribute readers appreciate. Maybe there's too much white space that makes the story a bit disjointed?

Sometimes, you insert a demarcation when she slips into the past. It would be helpful if you always showed the break in time.

*Baretree3*
A closed book=a lasting impression
I adored your story. The lure of antique stores and unusual objects captured me in the spell you wove. This story requires a reader to slow down, otherwise the slips into the past can be confusing.

Thank you for the fantastic read!


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38
38
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Pernell Rogers Nixie here. I saw this contest entry for "SCREAMS!!!"  and was impressed.



*Baretree3*
Overall impression
I was amazed when I reached the end of the story. Everything flowed so smoothly, I was barely aware of the time passing. The premise was well established, and I knew what might be coming, but couldn't be certain.

Fantastic job balancing narration, description, and dialogue. I wrote this for an image prompt, and the way you described the Air bnb, if that's what it was, captured the creepy mood and the beauty. I especially liked the sentence about the Christmas lights in the tree.

*Baretree3*
Oops
Considering the length of this piece, the mistakes were relatively inconsequential.

But that (that's) totally up to you."

I have an aversion to repetition.
*Right* "I don't know. I don't know anyone who's stayed here."

"I don't know about this, Hector." Her worried expression caused him concern.

And again:
"I don't like this, Hector," Daphne said.
"I don't know. Maybe they're trying to scare us," he replied.
...
they took their drinks out to the courtyard and took a...

He hoped it would be outside so she could show him where she saw the shadow." (no closing quotation mark is needed)

Even the manager as (has) heard it

A door slam (ed) shut.

*Baretree3*
Emotions evoked
Was I properly frightened? I felt anxiety more than anything, as the plot flowed. The conclusion caught me off-guard and left me suitably horrified.

I never want to return to a place where I've been before. Well, only one place, the first house I owned ever. It was in Maine, built in 1901. And the history of the building (no hauntings) was incredible. Thanks for poking my mind and restoring that old memory.


*Baretree3*
A closed book=a lasting impression
I don't expect you'll return to this piece and make corrections. That wouldn't make sense. But I did point out the oops because sometimes that creates awareness for the writer. For example, it's possible a writer would now notice repetition.

Thanks for the read!




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39
39
Review of Grumpy Beginnings  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi AmyJo- only 2 steps behind - Nixie here. I found your poem using the random review tab.

*Baretree3*
The Hook
Who can resist a grumpy smurf? It wasn't so long ago when that cartoon was popular. Or was it? Cover art makes a difference, and since I am inspired by images, that cover art is eye candy.

*Baretree3*
A closer look
I liked the formatting that made this an easy read. Evenly spaced lines, plenty of white space, and an enlarged font. Woo-hoo.
The rhyming scheme flowed easily and evenly. The emoticons were not overpowering. They added just the right amount of snazz to draw interest.

*Heart*
My favorite line was the 'murder' one because of the way it was phrased.

*Baretree3*
Emotions evoked
I enjoyed the lighthearted mood, which lifted my spirits. I can't imagine life without coffee. Although, one might argue it's milkshake coffee due to the amount of creamer I use.

*Baretree3*
A closed book=a lasting impression
Yours was the first item I reviewed today, which gave me almost as much fuel as coffee. Thanks!




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40
40
for entry "~ Play The Hand ~" 
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi ruwth Nixie here, reviewing this item for "I Write in 2024" 


Overall Impression
This entry is so relatable. Through using specific quotes you expounded on the meaning of them for you. This gave me a sense of closeness to you.

As the narration goes
Trials and tribulations. I'm sad to hear of this upset in your relationship with your child and the other people in your life also involved. There were no specifics (I respect that) yet you were still able to draw me in. The anonymity contributed to the closeness I expressed before.

It's natural to slump into a state of inaction when the brain can't process a problem. The mind tends to run in circles, and sometimes that means a person is 'frozen' in time.

The simple stuff
The formatting was much appreciated. The large font and generous spacing made this an easy read. Not everyone thinks to do this. Those of us who have to squint (I'll speak for everyone) will be relieved.

I've read many articles about this topic and liked what you said, (sad though it was). Often I resent this type of advice (not from your writing). I keep to myself to avoid conflicts. I'm a person unable to communicate clearly. Also, forgiveness is a big step forward, but I've suffered the consequences of being too forgiving.

All in all
Because I shy away from everyone, I'm afraid I live in a bubble, and do not have the opportunity to grow by wading through difficulties.

The entry name, Play the Hand, reminded me of what I have learned. Life is what it is. You're a strong person and I know you'll find your way back to the light. And you're already on your way! Thank you for your frankness, and your willingness to share your experiences. Strong and brave. *Heart*


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 
~Nixie


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41
41
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Xander. Nixie here. I found your item via random review

*BoothB* Initial reaction
I wondered where the title would take me. When I saw all the stanzas I wondered how everything would play out.

*Boothb*Overall Impression
As far as presentation. I liked the even lines creating symmetry. I often think about the stanzas you wrote. At first, I thought of the humdrum days you covered. Is this what life adds up to? The rhyming. None of it felt forced. Rhyming (mood) and (attitude) was clever and original.

The beginning of every line doesn't always need to be capitalized, especially if it's an ongoing thought.

Every time I say goodbye to someone 'I love you' is my last statement, because this could very well be the last time you see or talk to them.

The concluding stanzas were dark and caught me off guard. But again, I liked the originality. Most interesting that the bad guy had consequences to face. They would always be looking over their shoulder, unless they're smart enough to make themselves scarce.

We are gifted when we wake up, but it's easy to forget that.

When my dad was dying, his last words were 'is this all there is?' He lived a full life, making every day count. He was involved in the community. He built his own business. He gave to charities. I mean, that sounds like a satisfying life. More than many of us have.

*Boothb*That's a wrap
The encapsulation of a person's entire day drove the point home. It was easy to relate because all humans have this in common.



Dr Who and his Tardis


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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell


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42
42
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Writer_Mike Nixie here. I found your item via random review


*Vine1* Initial reaction
I was clicking through 4 or 5 stories when I found this gem. The title caught my attention.

*Vine2* Overall Impression
I noticed 'teenage love' in the brief description, after I puzzled through the first paragraph. What a weird thing to say. It sounded 'off-tune' and out of place. From there, the story took flight.

In the second paragraph, she kissed you, and from there, your mind filled in all the blanks with your imaginings. I think I've been in that place a time or two for summer romances.

The fourth paragraph highlights your unique writing voice. I'm trying not to highlight too much, the 'weighty stuff...' *Laugh* Oh, how embarrassing.

I probably would have tripped over that prompt, but you took it on like a pro. I liked the equal formatting, same size paragraphs, enlarged font and plenty of white space. All these combined made the story even more of joy to read.

*Vine1* Favorite line *Heart*
'I might be fairly good at "Clue", but I sure didn't have one.'

*Vine1* That's a wrap
The last paragraph surprised me. If that song came on the radio, I would immediately switch stations. Maybe the pain was easier to work through by repeated exposure? She sure did build you up. So wrong. I don't even know her, and I don't like her. *Laugh* Thanks for the read.



image for when I feel dark


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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell


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43
43
Review of Nature's Beauty  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi TheBusmanPoet Nixie here. I found your poem using the read and review option.


*Baretree3*
The Hook
The title drew me in, as I'm partial to reading anything about nature. The brief description is insightful.

*Baretree3*
A closer look
I like poems that are centered and have more or less equally even lines. The poem doesn't need any punctuation, the period at the end serves the purpose of the poem. It's one smooth read from beginning to end.

*Baretree3*
Emotions evoked
I wanted to cry when I finished reading this. The poem appears simplistic. It's anything but. I'm not observant, but one of my brothers is. When he's on his mountain hikes he calls me to share the beauty he sees. He seems to be so in touch with nature that it takes special care to show him something marvelous. The more he sees, the more fantastic happenings appear. Even deer he comes across simply stare at him before moving on.

*Baretree3*
A closed book=lasting impression
Regarding the last line. I'm not sure my summary exactly matches the sentiment. I'm left here pondering, wishing I knew what to say. The words hit home. The description is often applied to love (for those who believe in love) in that we must love and honor ourselves if we want to share ourselves with another.

It was my pleasure to read your work and take the time to slow down and relax.



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44
44
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi there. Nixie here. I found your poem via random review.


*Baretree3*
The Hook
I began reading this because losing a memory of someone is one of my greatest fears. The loss is tragic and devastating, even if expected.

The brief description was confusing.

*Baretree3*
A closer look
So much loss is captured here. And so many senses are evoked. Great job! Honestly, I struggled reading this, since I've never overcome the deaths I've seen. Actually, I never want to overcome them. They are still a part of me.

This is classified as personal, so I'm guessing you've lost your wife in real life? And your cat?

Of course life isn't fair, but I protest every time I feel that something happened that 'shouldn't' have. (There are no shoulds, only what is.) Your wife's death was unfair.

Oh, you really caught me. The stars were the ones pasted on the ceiling. Someone who lived here before me did the same thing. Super-confusing the first time I noticed. *Laugh*

If this is non-fiction, did you really kiss your wife in the funeral home? I made the mistake of touching my sister, and that feeling of her arm looking so real, yet feeling like cardboard haunts me.

*Baretree3*
Oops
The title isn't correctly capitalized.

Watch out for changes in verb tenses. I noticed two oopses, the first being the second stanza, third line. (are) should be (were) in keeping with the other lines.

I'm curious about the punctuation. The last guideline I read was no punctuation at all, or be consistent. My thought is, punctuation guides the reader. So where's the harm in that?

*Baretree3*
A closed book=lasting impression
Okay, I've been dwelling in this sorrow for far too long. Soon, I'll be cast asunder in the void of loss.

Your poem was painful and touching to read. And if you're still hurting, remember grief is not linear.

Love this image from Brooke! Personal signature


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45
45
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi AmyJo- only 2 steps behind - Nixie here, reviewing this item for "I Write in 2024" 

Overall Impression
I had several thoughts as I read this several times. My main reaction, though not the intent of this poem, was anger. I resent when people use the word 'promise'. Promise implies the person may not follow through.

However, the second stanza clarifies my point. The words direct the person to make a vow, not necessarily a promise. Vow is a much stronger word, and this word I consider sacred.

'Sin of the heart' was my favorite line, and perhaps the most insightful with the greatest punch. Without that line, the poem felt a little 'weak' in word choices.

Let's say, for the sake of this review, that the topic is about marriage, or any long term relationship. It does take hard work and dedication to maintain an ongoing romance, once the initial thrill lessens.

Considerations
suggest a period after the word 'bond' in the first stanza, second line. The semi-colon in the second stanza seemed awkward. It's possible to replace that with a period.

Overall, as this is about expressing yourself, not an easy feat with only eight lines, I'd conclude you believe in integrity and steadfastness. The ideal is to find a partner who can actually do everything this poem dictates. Unfortunately, it's not realistic in our ever-changing society. Although there are exceptions, I don't think it's fair to ask one person to fulfill all the other person's needs and wants.

This is not a reflection on what you've written, rather my personal take, addressing the feelings your words created in my worldview. A reader's reaction to anything I've written means the most to me. I hope you feel the same way, since that was my focus. I'm at 'sixes and sevens', trying to sort out my thoughts. But that could take forever, so I'll leave it here.

One last reflection: I've resigned myself to no more relationships as every partner drawn to me causes pain. Pain that I should not accept, actions I should object to and end the relationship. But I stay, to my own detriment. I've made the choice to stay single because I don't take care of myself.

See what reaction you've drawn from me? I didn't intend to write so much, but I couldn't stop thinking. *Smile*

*Heart* Ah, what a grand relationship could be founded with your words.



~Nixie


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46
46
Review of Shadow  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (2.5)
Hi Zane. Nixie here. I found your item via read and review.


My job here today is to help with this piece. I wanted to know how old you were, because what you've written here is so puzzling. We are writers. This website is not a social media site. Why am I saying this? See below.

(u for you) (ur for your). (Who am u ask.)
(hahaha but I am a funny guy.)

I'm not here to insult you, but I'm guessing you're young. That would explain a lot. And having your bio completed would help readers understand why you composed your work in this manner.

Let me say a bit more. I think the premise of this work is fantastic. I'm sad to see it presented in such an unprofessional way.

I checked your portfolio to see if this bad habit was consistent. I glanced over "The Lighthouse"  and discovered you were capable of writing like a writer would. Although it's still presented as a block of text, the errors were not as pronounced. This tells me you do care and are serious about writing.

I believe this is a stream of consciousness, and, as such, all the words do stay tightly spaced. It's obvious you have a strong mind and provocative thoughts.

What I didn't expect was the conclusion. All along, I was thinking, this is the person's dark side narrating, not a specific emotion, such as fear. (Merely my reaction.)

How can I say 'keep writing' without sounding condescending? But practicing is the answer. It also helps to review others' work.
Keep writing. *Wink*


image for word search puzzle

Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
47
47
Review of Nick  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Nixie here. I found your item via random review.

The hook
Considering the quality of this story, it deserves a better title than the character's name. The brief description, although not electric, fits the story.

A closer look
My goodness. Someone knows how to write. All your descriptions were crystal clear in my mind. The beginning of the story had a certain warmth to it, emphasized when the snow started falling.

Honestly, I was holding my breath as I traveled with Sadie and Nick through the snow storm. The tension was high, and the danger was imminent, with 'when will disaster strike?' hovering in the back of my mind.

I'll take a quick break here to explain my connection. I had been driving my boyfriend's Camaro through a snowstorm, with no mishaps. Then Mr. Macho decided (I think he was threatened by my skill- long story) and insisted upon taking over the wheel. Within seconds, he buried his Camaro into a snowbank, all the way up to the windshield.

Oops/suggestions

*Questiong* The only hole in the story was that it lacked a time frame. It had the feeling of the 1800's, but women gave birth at home in that era.

*Questiong* ...We have plenty of time to adopt if that’s what we decide”.

*Right* A quick fix to put that period inside the quotation mark.

*Questiong*...Nick was hopeful on the ride home...

*Right* I thought they were home? It's possible I missed something, but I can't blame myself. Your words kept drawing me ever closer to the plot. Especially when Sadie and Nick met the storm.

Final impression
The read and review option gifted me with an outstanding story. The little twist (Nick came back from the war as a compassionate man.) My brain tells me, not possible, but the way you slipped that seamlessly into the story made it believable.

For me, the draw of a story is what happens between characters. I liked both. The cherry on top was the excellent plot. I'm still pondering why the conclusion irked me. What you wrote makes perfect sense, and it fits in with Nick's transition from soldier to father. Something tragic or life-threatening makes a decision for many. So why am I angry that Sadie only agreed after the snowbank disaster. That's on me. I only send the author such detailed impressions if the story appeals to me. And yours most definitely did. One 1/2 star deducted due to my few questions that I mentioned earlier.





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48
48
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Alex. Nixie here, who landed on this item via the carrier random review.

Initial Reaction
I'm not sure any story begins with 'once upon a time' but maybe there's an exception since the tale is a legend.

It took me all of two seconds to latch on to your story. The description of Kieran painted a vivid image in my mind. And then along came a Jedi, because every story needs a woman. (lol) And not to be impartial, LGBT relationships also have a profound effect.

Characters
I continue reading stories due to my fascination between characters. Although the story was swift and to the point, the Captain and the Jedi's relationship warmed my heart. I liked how you pointed out that time spent together is often limited by circumstances. But I believe carrying love in a person's heart keeps that love ignited.

I hope her love tempered his ferocity.

The entrance of the Jedi was striking and memorable. And her name suited the experience that was unfolding. Names help identify characters, and Elara Sage met that expectation.

Your sentences varied in pace and style, which kept me engaged. One problem I have is avoiding the use of pronouns. I noticed you overcame that challenge.

Avoid over usage of one word. We all have one. It's not a big deal, but two sentences began with the word 'with'. I don't know why that caught my eye, but since it did, my brain insisted that it had to be mentioned.

I had to google 'kyber crystal'. I collect crystals. What a shame this one can't be real. But with a life of its own, it most likely wouldn't appreciate captivity.

Final Destination
I can't help my longing for happy endings, but I wouldn't call this one sad. Yo carried this theme throughout the story, so the story arc was completed. Well Done!



inscription similar to quantum entanglement that allowed Rose to travel back to the Dr.

GROUP
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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell



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49
49
Review of Second Chances  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there, fellow writer. Greetings. Should I type welcome back?


*Baretree3*
The Hook
The title accurately captured the contents of the poem. The genres were mostly correct, just remember that when the contest is over, change the second and third genres. I would choose love as the first genre, then romance, and then, if nothing else comes to mind, change the last genre to relationship. *Wink*

I always appreciate the link to the contest at the end, so I hypothetically write something for the same. (No big deal, a personal preference.)

*Baretree3*
A closer look
I liked the balance in this story. All paragraphs led smoothly to the next, and were relatively equal. I wanted this beautiful tale to be perfect, but I few 'things' distracted me.

*Baretree3*
Considerations
Take a second glance at this line.
"Their, love, Titled by Moonlight..."
If love is to be titled, I don't understand why the word [titled] was capitalized. Apologies, I don't understand that sentence at all. Am I missing something?

If they met in an art gallery, why would Elias's violin be present?
Eleanor's painting is finished, and Elias's musical piece is completed, where have they been all this time? Adding locations to events transpiring that led up to this point would make more sense.

*Baretree3*
Emotions evoked
I couldn't resist the spell of love you wrote, even though I don't believe in love. The moon played a significant role and wasn't present accidentally, having no influence on the story. Rather, it pulled and tugged until the final embrace.

I liked the metaphors as they gave life to the characters.

*Baretree3*
A closed book=lasting impression
I absolutely adore the conclusion. No promises of eternal love, only the suggestion, poetically written. The theme, overall, reads like a poem. Nicely done.





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50
50
Review of Man of Music  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Cathrin. Welcome to Writing.com. I found your story through the read and review tab.

*Vignette2*
From the top
I like the alliteration of the title, but I could not avoid thinking, 'why not women too?' Lovely cover art that greets the reader with a hint of what's to follow.

*Vignette2*
Emotions evoked
Music is magic. I focus on the lyrics and that transports me to another dimension, changing my mood.

*Vignette2*
suggestions/Thoughts
The commas at the end of each line are distracting. What about no punctuation? Or a period when a phrase is complete? Just a thought. Some poets prefer no punctuation, or consistent punctuation throughout.

Why was the poem repeated in French? Is it personal to you, because most members speak english?

*Vignette2*
Wrapping it up
I read this over several times, allowing the sensations to soak in. The rhythm is hypnotic, alluring, and soothing. I did have to look up 'staves'. Nicely done, since in one definition it only applies to music.


Damiana Matrix SPR

GROUP
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Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell


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