|This is an interesting poem. It has some good imagery:
A sorrowful beam of the sad, sad moon shone,
piercing through the sad, sad clouds.
I don't have any problem with the theme of the poem, only with much of the descriptives. Example:
The thunder clapped angrily, the lightening crackled with frustration.
These are common words used to describe thunder and lightning. "the thunder clapped"......"the lightning crackled..." I think if you delve deeper, you'll find other ways to describe thubder and lightning.
His soul burned with grief,
his eyes with tears,
Again, you use common descriptives. I'm more interested in knowing how it feels for a soul to be burning. I'm more interested in knowing more about eyes burning with tears. What can you compare that with?
You see what I'm saying? Give this imagery more depth, make the reader understand it better, and relate to it more.
I think the theme of the poem is fine, but the words don't give the poem punch or lasting impression for the reader. There are also spelling errors that need to be fixed.
Work on this some more, and try to really get more depth and meaning into the word choice.