I like this. It's personable and feels as if the narrator is talking directly to the reader.
Description is wonderful and adds so much texture to the story.
Read the first paragraph again. Wouldn't the first several sentences be ended with questions marks? Isn't the narrator asking questions here?
See what you think.
I really like this! Though the narrator tries to remain aloof and cold to humankind, he lets humanity peek through. The references to Nayera and
Midnight Sun. He also shows appreciation for nature.
Falco's tale leaves just enough hanging that the readers will want to know more about him and his life.
One thing: consider leaving an extra space between paragraphs. It makes so much easier on your readers' eyes.
This had me a little confused. What was the truth Starman was to reveal? Most folks know that celebrities (though not all of them) tend toward drug and/or alcohol abuse, broken marriages and living with other people. I was expecting a major bombshell.
I love music. Musicians are a lot like writers. They tend to feel the world more, I think. This would also make them more descriptive. Adding
description and more depth to his story would really draw your readers in.
I like where you are going with this. At times, it is confusing to read. With more description and explanation into the character, I think this would
be a good, and really fun, piece.
This is well written! The narrator draws in your readers and hold their attention throughout. The flow is great as is the description used.
One can't help but feel for this poor guy.
I think this has some real potential. It feels rushed. I didn't feel the confusion and frustration Patrick should have been feeling.
While I would agree with there being no family or friends, with his line of work, I would think that he would be well protected.
He would know things that the general public, including hospital staff, shouldn't be privy to.
Slowly revealing his discoveries will keep readers in suspense. They will stay with this and want to know what memories slowly surface.
I would have loved to read more in-depth. Utilize descriptive words, not only for the physical but the emotional as well.
This will help your readers to connect.
There is so much emotion here to be tapped.
I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp" by Sophy . Thanks for entering!
What most of us would give to go back in time and make changes for the better! I think this story will speak to all of your readers!
This flows well. The thoughts of Terran as well as dialogue between she and Eva show the story in a way that's personable. Frank comes
across as the jerk that he is.
I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp" by Sophy . Thanks for entering!
This is intriguing! Poor, ordinary Fred! Of all the interesting things to happen in his life.
This flows well and is told in an engaging fashion. It drives home repeatedly that Fred is just a simple, honest guy then you hit
your readers with the twist. Nice!
Two things you might want to consider: making your font a little larger and leaving a space between paragraphs. This will
make it easier to read.
I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp" by Sophy . Thanks for entering!
This is entertaining! I like the way the narrator wonders and ponders about the reason of the sand's direction. And I love the way
the poem ends as the sand's journey does.
It reads a little choppy in a few places to me. See what you think.
I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp" by Sophy . Thanks for entering!
Your narrator took his new appendages with more grace than I would have!
I like the story feel of this poem. Readers can follow along with the progress of the wings and the narrator's feelings on such.
Even though the poem looks uneven it actually flows well. The words are well chosen.
I like the idea here but it feels more like an outline. There is so much more to the story and your readers will want to know the details. Who did she meet and why? Describe the setting and emotion using words that help your readers feel the story. Work with this piece. I think you'll
find that your characters have more to say.
This is a powerful story! You cover a lot of ground in just under 2,000 words. Not only do you illustrate family going through the household of a passed loved one, but you cover the dynamic between the sisters and the family "secret."
The story flows well as you cover all this ground, flawlessly moving among the subjects. Your characters, and the dialogue, are believable. Your word choices add to the power of the tale.
I noticed that you had a disclaimer for anyone who might be triggered by the subject matter. Very thoughtful!
I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp" by Sophy . Thanks for entering!
I think we all fear this very thing at times. We worry that we aren't good enough or we don't have a purpose. The truth is, we all are worthy and
do have purpose!
In a short poem, you conveyed the feeling of being overlooked well. The words flowed nicely and were well chosen.
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I so enjoyed reading this! It is well told, entertaining, and well, funny! I was smiling and laughing throughout. 
