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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/nmarshall/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/5
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1,125 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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101
101
Review of Noel Surprise  
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"   by Sophy v.2021 . Thanks for entering!

I love a good mystery, especially one as sweet as this! I like the fact that you left the mystery for your readers to contemplate.

Your poem flowed well and the word choice played the fun up.

Merry Christmas!

~Nikola


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
102
102
Review of Hells gates  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your October entry as judge for "I'll Give You a Sentence Contest"   by Nikola has a Soul . Thanks for entering!

This story has great potential! I like the idea of the road, the car, and the final destination.

It does need some work. It reads choppy in places. It is rushed. Slow down and tell the story. Add details. Use words that evoke your readers' senses. This will have greater impact.
I think it would have greater impact if told by someone as a legend of the area or from the point of view of the girl, or boy, walking on that road.
Give it a try!

~Nikola



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
103
103
Review of Emotions  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your October entry as judge for "I'll Give You a Sentence Contest"   by Nikola has a Soul . Thanks for entering!

I like the idea of this story. A man who has lost the woman he has lived his life for walks away and he must find himself again. I think it's a story that so many can relate to.

Try to slow the pace a little. Let the reader feel with him. Choose words that speak of emotion.

Leave spaces between paragraphs. It makes it so much easier on your readers.

Does he actually take the boat? If so, what are the consequences? It could play a huge part in him finding himself once more.

Thanks again for entering!

~Nikola


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
104
104
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your October entry as judge for "I'll Give You a Sentence Contest"   by Nikola has a Soul . Thanks for entering!

Good for Sam! I'm glad she walked and kept going. No one deserves what she faced.

I would have loved to know his side of the story. Who was he cheating with?

This flows well. It does get wordy in places. Read your work aloud. It help you catch what doesn't quite work. (That's the best piece of advice I've ever received.)

You could run with this. Add the details of David's affair and more of how Sam grieves, and eventually, copes.

Thanks again for entering!

~Nikola


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
105
105
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your October entry as judge for "I'll Give You a Sentence Contest"   by Nikola has a Soul . Thanks for entering!

This story has the potential to be really good. I like the setting and pace. The idea is a good one.

It does need work. It changes from past to present tense constantly. Use present for the part of the story being told now and past tense for the flashback.
Utilize pronouns. The reader will understand you are writing about Ron without the constant repetition of his name.
It also might help the suspense to slow the pace just a tad. Not too much but enough to let it build.

Just a little elbow grease.*Wink*

Thanks again for entering!

~Nikola


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
106
106
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest"   by Writing.Com Support . Thanks for entering!

Sounds like a great relationship! My sister and I are 4 years apart. Of course there was that separation once I hit junior high and high school but we grew closer as we got older.
I loved the bit about wrestling! My family and I used to attend the matches in Ft. Worth, Texas every Monday night!

I really think this story has good potential. It reads like a first draft. The verb tenses jump from past to present and back again. You could choose stronger words that evoke the senses to bring this to life for your readers. Just a little polish is all it needs.

Thanks again for entering!

~Nikola


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
107
107
Review of The Vet  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest"   by Writing.Com Support . Thanks for entering!

I take it this is a true set of events. If so, I imagine you, and your brother, have some stories to tell!

I like that this is engaging. It feels as if you are speaking directly to the reader. The stories not only give an insight to your brother but Marine life as well.

When the contest is judged, and you can, there are a few places that need cleaned up. A misspelled word here and there, clarification elsewhere.

Nice work!

Thanks again for entering!

~Nikola


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
108
108
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest"   by Writing.Com Support . Thanks for entering!

I really enjoyed this story! Very imaginative and tragic. Greg takes the impact of the surgery better than I would have.

This is well written. The story flows nicely and the characters are believable. You showed Alan's character well. I found nothing out of kilter.

Nicely done!

Thanks again for entering!

~Nikola


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
109
109
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest"   by Writing.Com Support . Thanks for entering!

This is sobering and powerful! I've lost friends to drugs in various ways. It's so hard to watch. I can't even imagine it from a parent's point of view.

Well written! The dialogue and description bring strong images that help the reader empathize with this story.

Thanks again for entering!

~Nikola


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
110
110
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest"   by Writing.Com Support . Thanks for entering!

This is well written and gives your reader a good insight, not only into the mother's heart, but to the destiny of the daughter.

The mother's conversation with the mist is a wonderful tool in moving the story along. It weaves together well.

The description is wonderful. The conversation, although you readers technically hear only one side, is well done.

Nice work!

~Nikola


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
111
111
Review of A Teenage Romance  
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"   by Sophy v.2021 . Thanks for entering!

This is a great story! I like how you bring the setting and the feelings of your character alive for your readers.

A few comments:

In one place, you have "that" twice where one would do.

When Julie called, the character said she mentioned those three dreaded words. It's four.

I love this. The prompt was to use that sentence itself as the last one. Here you used it as part of another. Be aware in future entries!

~Nikola


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
112
112
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: ASR | (3.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"   by Sophy v.2021 . Thanks for entering!

I like the idea of your story. It has a great fairy tale feel to it. I was almost expecting the dragon to be the princess in disguise!

This does need work. There are places where your sentences aren't clear and misspelled words. Just some elbow grease will do the trick.*Smile*

~Nikola


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
113
113
Review of My Buddy  
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"   by Sophy v.2021 . Thanks for entering!

What a beautiful and touching story! It galls me no end when humans view their pets as "throwaways." To read a story in which that tossed aside cat found a warm, loving home made me smile.

I like the fact that you wrote from the cat's point of view. It gives your readers the other side of the coin--how the animal feels.
The story flowed nicely.

Well done!

~Nikola


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
114
114
Review of Saving Tina  
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"   by Sophy v.2021 . Thanks for entering!

This tugs at my heartstrings! I love animals and hate to see them mistreated.

This story flows well. You definitely got across to your readers the emotion and mindset of the little girl.

I think you could really add to this and make it even more powerful. How does the rescued dog rescue the little girl in return? Not necessarily physically but emotionally as well.

Nice job!

~Nikola


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
115
115
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"   by Sophy v.2021 . Thanks for entering!

While I appreciate talking to a person, I often find it difficult to convey my deepest feelings in the spoken word. I leave those words to my writing. I feel freer to express them in that format.

It sounds like Lillian is a wonderful friend! Those kinds of friends are precious.

I could tell you were trying to get more word count for your NaNo writing. I can appreciate that. The words that counted most, though, were those to your friend.*Smile*

~Nikola


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
116
116
Review of Listen  
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"   by Sophy v.2021 . Thanks for entering!

Oh my! What a terrifying time for a little girl! I am so sorry. Thank goodness for Julie!

While this doesn't have a rhyme scheme, I feel the rawness is perfect for the subject. This poem is heartfelt and your words show not only the terrible events but the gratitude for an adult who would listen to a frightened child.

My heart goes out.

~Nikola



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
117
117
Review of Memories Scream  
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"   by Sophy v.2021 . Thanks for entering!

I like that you don't specifically mention where these halls are. Two places came to mind for me--a childhood home or school. Others might find other places called to mind.

I'm not good at writing structured poetry but I love to read others' work. This flows nicely and the word choices are beautiful.

Nice!

~Nikola


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
118
118
Review of He Said, She Said  
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"   by Sophy v.2021 . Thanks for entering!

Opposites attract, right? I like this tale, in poetic form, relating the differing points of view. I would be more like the husband. I'm not fond of gatherings, especially large ones or those with people I don't really know.

I like how you shared his feelings on parties and how the couple had differing memories. I think I would have bopped her on the head for the constant correcting!*Laugh*

The flow is nice as well as the rhyme.

~Nikola


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
119
119
Review of Thirteen Pumpkins  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi!

I'm belatedly reviewing your entry for "Invalid Item"   by A Guest Visitor . Thanks for entering!

This is a perfect poem for me to read today. We had a major cold front move in last night and it is cold! The last two lines sums up today in my neck of the woods.

This is a fun poem. I could picture the pumpkins lined up with different faces carved on them.

Again I apologize for the lateness of my review.

~Nikola


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
120
120
Review of The Message  
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"   by Sophy v.2021 . Thanks for entering!

Nothing like fear to heighten a good surprise! I guess Randy's mother knew him well because I would never had taken those kinds of chances!

In the very first paragraph, you switch from first to third person. Watch for that.

I do like the way you wove the story. Your description was nice. I especially loved
Dishes in the sink. No one broke in to wash them. Whew!


With a few touch ups here and there this could be a really great piece!

~Nikola


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
121
121
Review of Compass Points  
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"   by Sophy v.2021 . Thanks for entering!

I love your take on what gave Einstein his love of science! It truly does take the right nudge to fuel our inner geniuses.

A fun rhyme scheme! I have no idea how you find some of these words to match up. Obviously a vocabulary greater than mine.*Wink* Those "big" words, though, fit perfectly with the character that you illustrate here.

The poem flows nicely. A delight to read.

~Nikola


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
122
122
Review of The Last Phone?  
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"   by Sophy v.2021 . Thanks for entering!

An interesting take on the prompt. My question is how long has civilization been this way and is there a power source to charge the phone. Trivial thoughts in the bigger picture.

Your story flowed nicely and your characters are believable. The dialogue and description are great.

Nice!

~Nikola


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
123
123
Review of The Real Action  
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as today's judge for "The Writer's Cramp"   by Sophy v.2021 . Thanks for entering!

You had the first character, so far, that had the sense to call the police about the package! That's exactly what I would have done.

The dialogue is great! I love the thoughts about the cavalier attitudes of some of the cops.

My one thought: if it had been suspected as a bomb, the authorities would have had the bomb squad come to the scene. It's too risky to take the chance of what happened here to take place. However, for the sake of your ending, it worked.

~Nikola


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
124
124
Review of Soul Attraction  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi!

I'm belatedly reviewing your entry for the September edition of "I'll Give You a Sentence Contest"   by Nikola has a Soul . Thanks for entering!

While vampires have been done to death (pardon the pun), I like this story!

I love the description of the church. I could envision it. I like the way you led your readers slowly to reveal the identity of the lighter of the candles. At first I thought it would be Satan but you surprised me again with the true identity.

Nice job!

~Nikola


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
125
125
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi!

I'm belatedly reviewing your entry for the September edition of "I'll Give You a Sentence Contest"   by Nikola has a Soul . Thanks for entering!

I like this story! Jake faced his fears and found himself on quite an adventure.

The story flows well. Your description brings your reader's senses to life. I could feel the damp of the cave, the darkness.
Dialogue is great. Laughed out loud at the limerick!

You could go wold with these characters and the adventures they will share.

Nice!

~Nikola


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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