I enjoyed reading this poem. One thing I'm confused about: you thought it was thanksgiving? The first line didn't seem to work. I figured that later it might turn out to NOT be thanksgiving because of the opening line. I would just recommend changing it so that it is less confusing to future readers.
This is amazing! I've never had my mouth water so much while reading a poem. The funny thing is, im not even a huge chocolate fan :D. But after reading your poem, I'm just CRAVING chocolate. I can tell that you love it a lot. The rhyming scheme is simple, but that just makes the actual words come alive.
I really liked this short story. It is intriguing, and kept my attention the whole time. However, my mind skipped over the lengthy descriptions in the beginning. I prefer more action, so the ending was perfect for me! I would just stretch it out a little longer because everything happens really quickly and it's hard to process. I would like it better if the descriptive paragraphs in the beginning were gone, but that is just my opinion. Overall, really well written!
I liked reading your poem. The rhyming scheme makes it flow well, and the imagery really brought the poem to life in my mind. It was easy to visualize everything you are talking about in this poem. Halloween is one of my favorite holidays, so I enjoyed reading a poem about it!
What kind of genre will this be? I really like it. I read a lot of young adult books, but this grabbed my attention right away. I don't believe in the multiverse or infinite universes, but this is a very good take on the idea. I would be very invested in reading the rest of the story. I believe that it could even become a novel.
I enjoyed your poem. There is one transition that is a little wobbly, but the entire poem is well written and makes sense. Maybe change the flowing/floating part, as the words are very similar and they made me pause when reading... unless you were going for that? Otherwise it was very well written, and it definitely brings out the freeness of a leaf, and the fact that they have no control over where they are going, but they go anywhere.
I like this poem. It reminds me of many romanticism-era poems. Rather then focusing on worldly things such as fame and money you focus on nature and the tranquility it brings. I like how you tie in your heritage in this poem. It helps me connect with you more, and makes the poem more welcoming and relatable. I like how you tie your love for your spouse to the joy that nature brings.
I really like this poem that you wrote. The balance of syllables is impressive throughout the poem. Reading it to myself, the lines seem to flow together very well. Your third verse stands out, as it is the only line with any punctuation. It really stands out from the rest of the poem, and lets the reader wonder who the author is talking to.
This is pretty good. However, for a sixteen-year-old Samantha sure acts like a toddler. I'm not sure if you meant for her to seem immature or not. You have a gift for writing! Keep writing, and don't stop. Are these places real? And if so, did you use them because they have special meaning to you?
I also like to express my feelings through poetry. If you ever need help, don't be afraid to ask a trusted figure in your life.
Your poems leave room for the reader to use their imaginations in creating the context, just don't leave so much out that we are confused on what you are even trying to convey.
I really liked the hook you started with. "I only date astronauts" gets readers very interested right away. You had a few grammatical errors, but I think that just going through this you could find them.
One suggestion I have for you is the unnecessary information you gave us at the beginning. We do not need to know that he is six foot or a nerd. If you want to add this information, try doing it in the dialogue. To show that he is a nerd, do something like this:
"Is that an undertaking? You would date me if I got aboard an extraterrestrial vessel, and went to space?"
Izzie stared at him. "Dude, no one understands nerd. Talk normally."
A question I have for you is: How did Jonas know so quickly that they were terrorists? And how did all three get aboard the spaceship so easily?
Otherwise, I very much enjoyed this story, and the creativity put into it. Good job!
Hahaha, I love it! Very funny, and is very true! It is cool how you picked a very random topic, and were able to write such a funny poem about it. This 100% deserves 5 stars, well deserved. I have tried to write funny and creative poems, but I am not very good at it, so I stick with stories and serious poems. Thank you for bringing some laughter into my life today! :D
This has very strong symbolism. You speak about moving mountains, which is very powerful. By writing something like this, you are giving people a taste of what it means to be truly in love, and not in a toxic relationship. I love this piece of writing a lot.
I like this poem very much. It is relevant to everyone, not just a few specific people. It is short and to the point. I should use this to reflect on my own life, and whether or not I am using my moments the best I can. I regret not doing certain things, even though I didn't think I would when faced with them.
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/nurse25
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.12 seconds at 12:11pm on May 20, 2025 via server WEBX2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
My review has been submitted for consideration in "