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743 Public Reviews Given
744 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I like to say how I relate to an item. Spelling and grammar are less important.
I'm good at...
Giving encouragement
Favorite Genres
Thiller, Detective.
Least Favorite Genres
Fantasy, Sci-fi
Favorite Item Types
Short stories.
Least Favorite Item Types
Free verse.
I will not review...
Items over 4k words.
Public Reviews
Previous ... -1- 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 ... Next
1
1
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
An interesting mix of sci-fi and fantasy. A Halloween tale with a twist. You mention a positronic brain so I am presuming the good guys are androids or similar.

From the name of the area it would appear the setting is Japan, or whatever name it will be known by in the future.

I see no problems with spelling or grammar.


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2
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Welcome to WDC.
Some interesting material, facts that many would not know. Might I suggest you change the order of the paragraphs. Start with the last paragraph, the shooting of JFK, then go into the details of his life. Then go into what is now your second paragraph.

Something does not sound right. You start by saying that he was seventy eight hours old when he attended his father's funeral then you go on to say his father died two months before he was born. Okay, the funeral may have been delayed for some reason but it would be unusual.

You skim over a lot of the material. Why did he move around a lot in his childhood? Why did he go into Juvenile Detention? What made him defect and how did he get to come back to the US? Fill in the gaps.

Keep writing,
Sue


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Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Not so much whodunnit as who got done. Of course, there could be an innocent explanation for the bloody knife. Gutting fish for instance. But you leave us with just enough doubt.

You might want to work on the opening paragraph to make it more 'show' than 'tell'.


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Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Do we not already have such a situation in Ukraine. The people have taken up arms to defend their country from the evil Putin. Women as well as men have taken to the battlefield. Those too old and infirm have done their bit, making improvised weapons. Even the very act of saying 'this is my home, I'm going nowhere' is itself an act of opposition.

How many men (and women) from other nations have taken up the fight? Some have died, some have been captured, but still they defend the innocent.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
5
5
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (2.5)
This could be so much more. There is far too much telling and not enough showing. It also lacks a beginning a middle and an end.

Show her finding the ancient text. Take her on the journey to the scribe who can translate it. Put in some dialogue. Then show the affect reading the poems have on her.

You are fairly new to the site. Read a few contest winning stories and see how others have done it. Enter contests yourself. Above all, KEEP WRITING.


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Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
I don't get it. Something is missing here. It feels incomplete. I take it, it is some kind of metaphor, but the point is not clear.

As far as the spelling and grammar, I see no problems. I see that you are new to the site. Keep going. Enter contests, get yourself known around here.


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Review of The List  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I like the idea of someone doing Big Foot's shopping. Okay, I can accept he has money. It might be that he can read. But why would the furry fellow need clothing? Or is that his disguise?

If you communicate by email, why the notes in the tree trunk? If it were not for the money left with the notes I would believe this was a con perpetrated by some survivalist living off-grid.


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Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I tend to avoid reviewing poetry because I have very little knowledge of poetic forms. My education was to learn well known poems by rote. Reading your article has helped me to understand that you don't really need expertise to know how the poem evokes a mood, feeling, image etc.


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Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Ahhh, if only real life was that perfect. Maybe there should be some element of conflict, nothing goes that smoothly. I see no problems with your writing, it's just me being an old, twice divorced, cynic.

If you wanted to continue this story, maybe her well-to-do family don't approve, and they have to wait until she is twenty-one before they can marry.


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10
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Review of The Fly  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Oh boy, have I been there. In the summer heat when I have to have doors and windows open there is always one. The pesky little beggar that dive bombs me and keeps me awake. They do like to dive into the dregs of my bedtime cocoa though.

I love the sound effects as the fly is chased.


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Review of Darwin's Journey  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
I don't think I'll bother looking for THAT plant. This story builds nicely toward the inevitable. The fact that you have listed it as horror gives a clue to what is coming. When it does come, it feels a bit rushed.

If you are limited by a wordcount, maybe loose some of the early stuff in favour of more description of Robert's end.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Sounds like Dad has everything under control. In the UK this is not an unusual event, especially in the SW, where I live. Coastal areas are worst hit. A hundred years or so ago a complete village disappeared into the sea.

I like the fun way you incorporated the required words, especially JUMP. The dialogue is realistic and flows well, without the usual 'he said'.


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13
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Review of Christmas  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A well written telling of a lesser known part of the Christmas story. The language you use may have been that spoken by your narrator with a feel of olden times.

Not having a great knowledge of the Bible I am unsure where the three kings actually came from. Crossing desert is inevitable at some point in the journey. I do hope they got home safely.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
14
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Review of The RMS Titanic  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Welcome to WDC.

I know a bit about the Titanic disaster. I think the main problem was the cocky attitude of the designers who swore she was unsinkable. I didn't know about the Californian.

Maybe you should look into the class issue. Were the people in steerage really locked in as portrayed in the film? Did they not count when working out how many lifeboats she should carry?

There is a lot more information out there. But what you have is reasonably well written. Maybe you could start your piece with a dramatisation, describing the opulence, the hopes of the travellers as they boarded.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Thud with Whistle  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I like this style, short bursts of writing, reflecting the immediacy of your thoughts in this situation.

You might want to do a spelling and grammar check. A few missing apostrophes here and there, but they don't distract from the piece. A very clear picture of what it is like to be under fire.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Broken  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I can't say I have personal experience of a broken home. My parents took the 'til death us do part' bit literally. I can say that I have met a lot of people who are 'broken'.

You describe it well. The superficial feelings when the split first happens, then the deeper hurt as life changes. You are right, therapy doesn't help. It may modify the way you deal with the feelings, stop alcohol or substance abuse, but the feelings never leave.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Contest Entries  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Although I am not really into fantasy, I do get what is going on. Jarkin's wife and son have been kidnapped and he wants them back. His plan is to use magic to achieve this.

Unfortunately, this is rather more 'tell' than 'show'. Use his inner dialogue (in italic to distinguish it) and add description in small amounts around this.

I don't know what your word limit is - you don't mention which contest this is for - but this feels unfinished. I see it bears today's date so maybe it is a WIP. Work at it, you will get there.

Keep Writing
Sue


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18
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Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I am reviewing for I'm participating in Halloween Review Stew! Click the image to make some too!






The story of an artist as told by a paintbrush. An unusual POV character, but it works. I too have neglected brushes. I wonder what they are saying about me?

From the descriptions of her finished works, my guess is she is more of a wannabe. I like the way the brush 'feels' the colours. Itchy yellow, tingling red, cool green and painful purple.

It is decades since I used my hands to paint. Maybe I will give it a try.

Keep Writing
Sue


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19
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Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I am reviewing for I'm participating in Halloween Review Stew! Click the image to make some too!





Welcome to WDC.

It is great to see a Newbie entering a contest on their first day here. Some useful tips: When writing on screen, leaving spaces between short paragraphs makes it much easier to read. When entering contests, get in the habit of putting a wordcount at the beginning or end of your work and then again in your forum post. Not everyone demands it, but if you make it a habit you can't go wrong.

It is interesting how family rituals start. Watermelons on 4th July sounds like a good one. As to the sibling rivalry - that is something I missed out on being an only child. At least a game of golf is a harmless one. Unlike my BFF, who was forever falling out with members of her large family. Social media has its downside.

Keep Writing

Sue


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20
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Review of Day 1 Prompt  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I am reviewing for I'm participating in Halloween Review Stew! Click the image to make some too!






Welcome to WDC.

The first thing to learn when writing online is space. Short paragraphs with space between are far easier to read.

Childhood memories. The older you get, the more you forget. I am sorry your relationship with your mother wasn't a happy one. Mine wasn't when I was a kid. It was only when she began to get senile that I could talk to her about anything without her telling me off.

It is those little things that bring us joy in later life. A shared moment. Something simple like chocolate.

Keep Writing

Sue


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21
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Review of Four Prune Ritual  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I am reviewing for I'm participating in Halloween Review Stew! Click the image to make some too!




Welcome to WDC.

There is something rather ...existential ...avante guarde ... about this piece. You mention baying at the moon, I thought wolf or maybe werewolf. But then your main character seems to take human form when he searches for the prunes.

This reminds me of some of the weird writings we studied at college. Post-post-modernist I think they called it.

I take it Skippy is the man on the corner. But why did you say he produced the third prune. I wasn't aware of the first two being found.

Keep Writing

Sue


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22
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Review of The Fox  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I am reviewing for I'm participating in Halloween Review Stew! Click the image to make some too!





I like the description of your regular walks. You take us through the seasons as a way of showing the passing of time.

I certainly know the feeling of sitting at home with nothing to do. I just wish I was up to walking. Or sewing for that matter.

This phrase seems a bit awkward - if it had even actually really been there.Also, why is there a speech mark at the very start of the story?

I have read many of your flash fiction entries and I always find them entertaining.


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Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I am reviewing for I'm participating in Halloween Review Stew! Click the image to make some too!





I see that this was a Writer's Cramp entry, yet I see no word count. It is mandatory for some contests, and it is good practice to do so for all contest entries. The last thing you need is to spend ages writing only to be disqualified on a technicality.

I like that this is written in the style of a journal entry. It gives a first person POV and opens up the possibility of further stories from Mary Brownstone. I too would be frustrated if all I got to do was type up other people's writing.

Not sure escaped cattle are headline news. But maybe for a small local paper it is.


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Review of Crossing Over  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I am reviewing for I'm participating in Halloween Review Stew! Click the image to make some too!




As a crime writer myself I am all too familiar with the dead body. You have brought a new element to the scene with the deceased paying a visit to her husband and getting her revenge.

You don't actually say that he was her killer, but I think she would know. The setting for the finding of the body gives a feeling of foreboding. You then lull the reader into a false sense of normality, then WHAM, you hit them with the ghost.

Well-constructed and very creepy.


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for entry "Reformation " 
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I like that you start with a quote and then a definition. This makes it clear what you are addressing in your blog entry.

You then give a history of reform in Australia. Very informative to someone in another country.

Your main topic is aged care. Governments are always saying they will reform aged care. The truth is, it is not government bills that are needed, it is government money. Reform of the care system needs to start at grass roots level. Pay carers a decent wage.

I had thought the pandemic would show who should be paid better. Who was on the front line? Not bankers, investment brokers and other highly paid professionals. No. It was doctors, nurses, home carers, plus shop staff, delivery drivers etc. The people that got us through.

You lay out your argument in a clear manner with no spelling or grammar mistakes. Well done.


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