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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/omstar/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/1
Review Requests: ON
447 Public Reviews Given
Review Style
I like to say how I relate to an item. Spelling and grammar are less important.
I'm good at...
Giving encouragement
Favorite Genres
Thiller, Detective.
Least Favorite Genres
Fantasy, Sci-fi
Favorite Item Types
Short stories.
Least Favorite Item Types
Free verse.
I will not review...
Items over 4k words.
Public Reviews
Previous ... -1- 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 ... Next
1
1
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with Dreamweaver Bar & Grill  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
I am reviewing
 Back From the Cretaceous  (ASR)
Beware of the Dino Mites. Written like a journal.
#915377 by Kotaro


Initial Impressions

I'm itching already. We have enough parasites in the world. The thought of another - UGH!!!

Plot and characterisation

Your character shows the extreme of his or her phobia when the dog is put down.

Spelling and grammar

I see no problems.

Overall Impression

Fact of life - parasites are becoming immune to the chemicals we use to destroy them. We may have to learn to live with the itch.

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2
2
Review of Jingle  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I am reviewing
 Jingle  (E)
"No Dialogue" contest entry
#2223039 by Tanith


Initial Impressions

I hardly noticed a lack of dialogue in this charming little tale.

Plot and characterisation

The search for a Christmas gift is led by the sound of a bell. Sadie notices several other things on her journey.

Spelling and grammar

I see no problems.

Overall Impression

I would like to visit this little town. You give a very clear description, especially of the book shop. She found the book, but did she find the bell?

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3
3
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with Dreamweaver Bar & Grill  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I am reviewing
 Dear Diary (Entry 2-3)  (13+)
This is a part of a FICTIONAL STORY.
#2248708 by BakaBellflower


Initial Impressions

At first reading, I felt that some of the words used were not those of a ten year old, like 'preoccupied'.

Plot and characterisation

The second diary entry led to my understanding the first. I began to see things from Bella's point of view.

Spelling and grammar

I see no problems.

Overall Impression

I would be interested to see where this is going. Is this the birth of a serial killer?

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4
4
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with Dreamweaver Bar & Grill  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I am reviewing " A baby isn't quite what it seems.

Initial Impressions

Your intro tells me you are new to the sight. You are, no doubt, nervous to post. You don't need to be.

Plot and characterisation

I've had two of them and your description is very accurate. I know that child; the crying, the demanding, not to mention what comes out of each end of something so tiny.

Spelling and grammar

I see no problems.

Overall Impression

You are off to a good start. Try one of the daily contests. It's not about the winning, it's about the taking part and becoming known in the community.

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5
5
Review of Sleep  
Review by Odessa Molinari
Rated: E | (4.0)
I am reviewing
 Sleep  (E)
Flash Fiction
#2222946 by Jacky


Initial Impressions

Boy, do I know how you feel. I went from 10 - 12 hours to 2 - 3 if I'm lucky.

Plot and characterisation

Not so much a plot as an insight into the writer's mind.

Spelling and grammar

I see no problems.

Overall Impression

What can you do in the middle of the night? Read and review, write a novel, enter a contest, make some art work, catch up on the quiet side of housework, or stare at the ceiling, run through memories, good and bad, stare at the clock, go mad ...

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6
6
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with Dreamweaver Bar & Grill  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
I am reviewing
 
STATIC
The Flashes. Chapter 2.  (18+)
The Duke's uprising is lost.
#2145804 by Bruce.


Initial Impressions

A battle in some ancient time or other land. Morgan and Baldwin are mercenaries. They are sad that so many men lost their lives, but principally, they are upset they won't get paid.

Plot and characterisation

The two POV characters are well defined. The Duke is typical of senior officers; they know best.

Spelling and grammar

I saw no problems.

Overall Impression

The weaponry sets the time period, but this war could happen anywhere, any time. Mercenaries operate all over the world today, and they are not all as thoughtful as Morgan and Baldwin.

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7
7
Review by Odessa Molinari
Rated: E | (5.0)
I am reviewing
 
STATIC
Letter of Complaint  (E)
The Treachery of Internet Shopping
#2247109 by PiriPica
as contest judge of "The Art of Letter Writing Contest

You obviously have a lot of experience writing business letters. It is formatted perfectly. I like that you made your case in a detailed way. Quoting the appropriate legislation makes for a strong case.

Did this actually happen to you? A friend of mine ordered a ceramic figurine and only received a picture of the object. To make matters worse, she had shown the ad to several friends and they had ordered too.

Using Rene Magritte as your writer was a nice touch.


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8
8
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with Dreamweaver Bar & Grill  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
I am reviewing
 Prequel to Love In Cheshire. Chapter 6.  (18+)
Judy and Kenny part company. Retro fiction.
#2114102 by Bruce.


Initial Impressions

As soon as I read the first paragraph I thought 'come on, Bruce, show, don't tell. Not sure how you would achieve that though. As I read on I recognised an all too familiar scenario, especially in that period.

Plot and characterisation

Yes, we get Kenny, the reluctant father. And he was quick to jump on the possibility that he was not the father. I'm not sure we know that much about Judy.

Spelling and grammar

I see no problems.

Overall Impression

For a single chapter, this covers far too many scenes and time periods. I would like to see Kenny's house, get a better idea of what the characters look like. Start with that first paragraph, there are several scenes in that alone. Write some of it from Judy's POV so we learn more about her. Maybe have a section from Rachel's POV. Why was she so quick to spread the poison?

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9
9
Review by Odessa Molinari
Rated: E | (4.5)
I am reviewing
 The Misfit Ornament  (E)
How a gag Christmas gift sparked an adventure.
#2241146 by Sand Castles Shopgirl 739
as contest judge of "The Art of Letter Writing Contest

My elder daughter collected pigs when she was young, and my other daughter sent her gnome on a similar journey, so this story appealed to me.

You made it clear from the beginning that you thought of the pig as a joke gift. You did not creep to your Aunt. You showed a level of integrity.

The little pig will go on an adventure, whether with you or with the next recipient. And it is nice that you promised to keep Auntie informed of its progress.

You used an appropriate layout for a letter. I see no problems with spelling or grammar.

I hope you will continue to write letters. It is fast becoming a dying art.

Until next month,

Write On

Sue


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10
10
Review of "My pleasure."  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I am reviewing
 
STATIC
"My pleasure."  (13+)
January entry for weird tales contest - the story of a whispering lake
#2241184 by PrudhviRaj12


Initial Impressions

Even without knowing who wrote this I would know they were from the Indian subcontinent. That Bollywood feel about your story comes through strongly and I like it.

Plot and characterisation

Leia goes to the lake to say goodbye to her dead mother. She is unsure about it but goes anyway. This comes through strongly.

Spelling and grammar

I see no problems.

Overall Impression

It is nice to read a story with such a different voice. There is an element of mythology, an innocence, and it is nice to get away from the everyday tales of city life. Asian authors have become quite popular in the west in recent years. Keep going and you could be one of them.

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11
11
Review of Surrealism  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Norma Jean, there is a pub in Falmouth, Cornwall you really should visit. Tables and chairs on the ceiling etc. I'm pretty sure it has inspired many to go teetotal.

Your dreamland sounds like the result of a visit from the green fairy. I've never tried absynthe myself but am told it can result in hallucinations of this kind.


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12
12
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with Activity Bank  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I am reviewing
STATIC
The night the circus came to town  (E)
It was going to be a break from boredom, and yet no one saw what was coming.
#2228666 by Sumojo
for "I Write in 2020

Initial Impression

You know right away you're in Australia. Unfortunately, long gone are the days of animal acts here in UK. You give a really good build up to the circus coming to town.

Plot and Characterisation

Fergus is excited by the circus and it shows. I also get Elsa the elephant, with her pacing and swaying.

Spelling and Grammar

I see no problems.

Overall Impression

Pity about the word limit. You build things up nicely but then you run out of steam. More detail about the storm and also about the aftermath would bring this to a better conclusion.

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13
13
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with Activity Bank  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I am reviewing
 
STATIC
Be careful what you wish for.   (E)
Harry gets his desire, but is it really what he wants.
#2230009 by Sumojo
for "I Write in 2020

Initial Impression

The layout came up a bit weird but that's probably a site problem. Oh, boy, do I know the feeling of poo squelching between my toes(first dog), ripped up furniture(tenth dog), chewed specs(fifteenth). I even lost my Christmas dinner to a pair of hounds.

Plot and Characterisation

This covers a long period of time for a short story, which means more tell than show. Harry's character is not very developed, but Muttly's definitely is.

Spelling and Grammar

I see no problems.

Overall Impression

I take it there was a word limit. You could work on each section to build on this. More show, less tell. Overall, a story I can empathise.

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14
14
for entry "I Gotta Feeling
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with Activity Bank  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
I am reviewing "I Gotta Feelingfor
FORUM
I Write in 2020  (E)
Write and review once a week for all of 2020
#2208028 by Annette


Initial Impression

Reminiscences from someone who knows the music industry. You take us on a journey through the work of the Black Eyed Peas from your personal perspective.

Spelling and Grammar

I see no problems.

Overall Impression

I have learned a lot from this item. I am a fan of Will.I.Am, but mainly from his part on the Voice here in UK. I didn't know about who produced the Black Eyed Peas music. I know this song but I would struggle to name any others.

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15
15
Review of The new kitchen  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with Activity Bank  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I am reviewing
 The new kitchen  (E)
Harry saves the day.
#2228824 by Sumojo
for "I Write in 2020

Initial Impression

My experience of barbecues is sitting under an umbrella trying to get the damp charcoal to ignite. British summers!

Plot and Characterisation

A story of two brothers taking different paths. Sam is attempting to show off to his new friends but has to revert to his roots in the end. Harry's character is well developed, the others less so.

Spelling and Grammar

I see no problems.

Overall Impression

Although this is a complete story, I could see it as a chapter in a book about the two siblings. How did Sam make his money? What was Harry's lifestyle? What else went wrong?

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16
16
Review of The Betrayal  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with Activity Bank  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
I am reviewing
 
STATIC
The Betrayal  (18+)
A Taboo Words Words Contest Entry
#2230038 by Mastiff
for "I Write in 2020

Initial Impression

At first I thought something really serious had been done and expected a horrible revenge. It was a good twist that it was all about a recipe.

Plot and Characterisation

When Mike arrives at the party he is a man on a mission. We learn quite a lot about him and a little about Jimmy.

Spelling and Grammar

Grammar and punctuation are fine but I did spot a few typos.

Overall Impression

A snapshot of family life. Could have been something more horrific.

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17
17
Review of We the People  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Although I am in the UK, I agree with the sentiments of your manifesto. You argue a good case for reform. Indeed the wealthy elite do rule not just your country but mine as well.

The current pandemic is a case in point. Both of our governments have put finances ahead of health. Hence, our countries have the highest death rates.

One thing I will say - maybe this is not the form of writing for using contractions. These are fine in fiction but not in an academic work.


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18
18
Review of Bad diet  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with Activity Bank  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
I am reviewing
Bad diet  (18+)
Jenny loses weight to find love
#2226412 by Sumojo
for "I Write in 2020

Initial Impression

Initially a dieting story, something we're all familiar with, this turned into a nice little horror story.

Plot and Characterisation

Jenny wants to loose weight to attract a mate. The mate she chose was definitely the wrong one. Jenny's character is fairly well developed. Tyrone is, of necessity, somewhat undiscovered until the end.

Spelling and Grammar

I see no problems.

Overall Impression

A lot of guys prefer a more curvy girl, and not because they intend to eat them.

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19
19
Review of Paint job.  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with Activity Bank  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I am reviewing
 Paint job.  (E)
Sarah’s not amused at the outcome of their attempt at decorating.
#2224490 by Sumojo
for "I Write in 2020

Initial Impression

I've moved so often this story is all too familiar. The neighbour popping round every five minutes is also familiar.

Plot and Characterisation

Sarah wants perfection. Bill wants company. John wants to please everybody. The house could be said to be a character as well. I could see both house and people.

Spelling and Grammar

I see no problems.

Overall Impression

An interesting project might be to retell the story from the point of view of the house.

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20
20
Review of I Write In 2020  
for entry "The Huntress
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with Activity Bank  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I am reviewing
I Write In 2020  (E)
This book contains prose writings and poetry for various contests here on WDC.
#2209139 by 💙 Carly - BLUE!!💙
for "I Write in 2020

Initial Impression

I don't know how to review poetry because I don't know enough about it. But I'm going to have a go. I get the impression we're talking 'gold digger', I may be wrong.

Spelling and Grammar

I see no spelling errors but I don't know enough about form to comment.

Overall Impression

I can certainly visualise a woman, perfumed, decorated with diamonds, toying with her victim until she goes in for the kill.

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21
21
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with Activity Bank  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I am reviewing
 Are you threatening me?  (13+)
An argument gets heated.
#2224392 by Sumojo
for "I Write in 2020

Initial Impression

A typical husband and wife argument but from the perspective of the cat.

Plot and Characterisation

It is a short piece so there is not time to really build characters but we have some sense of them (and their cat)

Spelling and Grammar

I see no problems.

Overall Impression

I think you need to make it clear in the second line that it is the husband and not the cat that is thinking. Maybe the cat should be more of the main character as the story ends when he leaves.

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22
22
Review by Odessa Molinari
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
I am reviewing
 
STATIC
Excite - Assignment 1  (18+)
First Meeting ~ Lesson 1, Excite
#2226036 by Mastiff
for "I Write in 2020

Initial Impression

For an assignment it is going quite well. That first meeting is always a little awkward when there is an attraction and you captured that.

Plot and Characterisation

You established your characters at the beginning o the assignment. This would not happen in a story or novel. These details would have to come out in the writing.

Spelling and Grammar

I see no problems.

Overall Impression

Maybe a bit more telling than showing. The drive to the farm could have been shown by hearing the voice of the satnav. It gets better once the dialogue starts.

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23
23
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I share your interest in tombstones. It is a peaceful place to sit and contemplate. You are right that the words give a hint to the story of those long gone. I have often thought to try and tell their narrative.

Have you ever tried to discover the truth of their lives? Was the daughter much loved? Or just another mouth to feed? I wonder what will be said of the Covid dead. No funeral allowed, maybe nobody left alive to grieve. Who will tell the story of 2020 in years to come?


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24
24
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with Activity Bank  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
I am reviewing
 Marcus and Milly. Chapter three  (13+)
Their relationship hits a bumpy ride
#2219312 by Sumojo
for "I Write in 2020

Initial Impression

The boyfriend meeting the parents. Always awkward but more so once they learn he's an ex-con. The only problem I had was the use of the present tense to relate a story which moves through several days.

Plot and Characterisation

Is the disapproval of her parents coming between them? I could feel the doubt, the anger, the frustration.

Spelling and Grammar

A few more spaces between paragraphs would make it easier to read from a screen.

Overall Impression

You are going in the right direction. The last part, where they make up, is maybe a bi rushed.

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25
25
Review of I Write In 2020  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with Activity Bank  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I am reviewing "Nothing Good Ever Happens After 2 amfor
FORUM
I Write in 2020  (E)
Write and review once a week for all of 2020
#2208028 by Annette


Initial Impression

Nice little horror story but where is the rest of it?

Plot and Characterisation

I got the setting, the premise of breaking down in the middle of nowhere but no real feeling of the people involve.

Spelling and Grammar

I see no problems.

Overall Impression

This feels like the start of something but then it goes nowhere. I know you are limited by word count but lose some of the words you have already written so you can bring the story to a better conclusion.

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