*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/omstar/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/10
Review Requests: ON
773 Public Reviews Given
774 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I like to say how I relate to an item. Spelling and grammar are less important.
I'm good at...
Giving encouragement
Favorite Genres
Thiller, Detective.
Least Favorite Genres
Fantasy, Sci-fi
Favorite Item Types
Short stories.
Least Favorite Item Types
Free verse.
I will not review...
Items over 4k words.
Public Reviews
Previous ... 6 7 8 9 -10- 11 12 13 14 ... Next
226
226
Review of BARBARA  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
The style makes me think of a personal diary in which one writes down what they have been thinking about that day. It could well be a sign post to further stories about the people mentioned.

You wrote 'Memory is strange' twice. Personally, I would move the sentences about remembering more to follow the second one. The last phrase suggests there is something dark to come. If that is the case, leave the revelation until last but hint at it to keep the reader wanting more.

I like the way you have linked to certain music; maybe this could be your connection between stories. Keep going with this, it could grow into something great.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
227
227
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I am reviewing this as judge of The Comedy Club Contest.

You have some interesting characters; Michelle, with her urban reserve, man-mad Sherrie, sleepwalker Walt and the rest of the gang. This could make a good novel, written in the form of Michelle's diary.

I have lived in places where everyone knew everyone else's business, and places like where I live now, neighbours that barely speak. I think I prefer the former. Living on my own most of the time, it's nice to have someone to chat to.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
228
228
Review of Fearful Passion  
for entry "Chapter One
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
I haven't read all of this story, but it would be a shame to keep it as a novella. It has the possibility for a full length novel. You can add so much more in the way of description by interspersing the dialogue with comments and feelings about the place and the times.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
229
229
Review of Berlin Wall  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I like your story but the use of the 'a with accent' instead of inverted commas was irritating. I guess it's a computer problem. I'm glad they finally got back together when the wall came down, although it took a lot longer than your story would suggest.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
230
230
Review of Caged Song Bird  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
I like this story about slavery. The first few sentences could be combined - The dark surrounds me, suffocating me, until I can't think, can't question, anything going on.

Have you tried entering any contests yet. It is a good way to get to know people, to get advice and to win gift points.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
231
231
Review of Sick  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)
This piece needs a little work. You used dying twice and the last line doesn't rhyme. Have a look at entries in the various poetry contests on WDC for clues to improve your skills; that's how I learn.

Entering contests is a good way to get to know people, get advice and earn some gift points.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
232
232
Review of GOBSMACKED  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I am reviewing this as judge of The Comedy Club Contest.

I'm not sure I fully comprehended the layout of the driveway but maybe it is one of those places that defy description. Baby brain, no doubt, had an influence on events.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
233
233
Review of Dear Santa  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I am reviewing this as judge of The Comedy Club Contest.

I like the idea of a letter to Santa, but, if the guy in the pub was the real deal, why are you telling him what happened, or do you think he might have drunk so much Christmas brandy he might have no recall?


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
234
234
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
I am reviewing this as judge of The Comedy Club Contest.

Do we ever know the person we are marrying/moving in with? And do we grow together or apart as time goes by? I would love to know in advance that the guy I've just met is adicted to drink/drugs, or is into kinky stuff involving pain. But surely relationships are about discovering those little foibles over time.

Keep the mystery!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
235
235
Review of The CSI Effect  
Review by Odessa Molinari
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
A well put together essay, well researched. I agree wholeheartedly with the idea that fans of TV shows have an unrealistic idea of the Justice system.

I know how long DNA results take; I have friends who have done paternity tests. In real life an autopsy could take weeks to complete, not least because they have to be done in turn. As to fingerprints, it took several hours to collect prints at a simple break-in, a murder would be far more extensive.

I always take TV, movies and novels as pure fiction. Yes, they do teach us how samples are collected and what processes they go through but I am sensible enough to know that all this is compressed into an hour or so when in reality it takes months.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
236
236
Review of Red Toad  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I am reviewing this as judge of The Comedy Club Contest.

I have never seen a red toad, and can imagine it causing a stir, but I think you meant zoologist not archaeologist, although that would throw out the rhythm.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
237
237
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
A touch of 'Psycho' about this little tale. You give just a hint at the beginning that all is not right with Mother and that son is being turned into a nut job. I liked the comparison between meal times and body parts. I hate to think what he was doing with them.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
238
238
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I like your vision of the future even though the concepts are frightening. Your layout is a bit weird though and makes it hard to read. This reads line an outline. Maybe you could give more detail, more description; give the narrator more of a personality.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
239
239
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This piece is a lot more together. We have all had days like that. I like the idea that Miss Perfect has been shown to be human after all. I can visualise June's bike ride, right down to the dogs. The stares and comments of the other motorists are very realistic.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
240
240
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I'm definitely not going on that swamp tour. Your story is very atmospheric. The one thing that distracts are the typos. I take it this is a first draft. I suggest you read it through very carefully.

You repeated the bit about webbed-like moss on the trees. You need to think of alternatives to this description if you think it necessary to keep mentioning them. I like the bit about Lisa's dreams/preminitions.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
241
241
Review of The New Age.  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (3.5)
I get the feeling that you are a young writer. Ignoring the obvious typos and spelling mistakes, you have something interesting here. It is all rather rushed though. Slow down in your telling. You have enough here for several chapters. Build up to the mayhem rather than tell everything in a few paragraphs. Give us some suspense; maybe a scream from the kitchen interrupted an ordinary conversation with the parents.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
242
242
Review of Humdingers  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I am reviewing this as judge of The Comedy Club Contest.

The idea of hummingbirds squawking does seem funny although with such little birds it would probably not be that loud.

I am no poetry expert but you seem to have good rhythm and rhyme in this piece.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
243
243
Review of Oh No  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (3.5)
I am reviewing this as judge of The Comedy Club Contest.

I am no poetry expert but this piece does not seem to follow any particular form. The image tells me it is about a squirrel but surely if he is ready for winter he knows where his nuts are? A bit of a contradiction.
244
244
Review of The Creature  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I am reviewing this as judge of The Comedy Club Contest.

Get in the habit of including a word/line count in all your contest entries whether asked for or not; that way you can't go wrong.

I have had similar experiences to this and believe me a cricket would scare me more than mice or rats. Ughhh!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
245
245
Review of Little Red Cap  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I am reviewing this as judge of The Comedy Club Contest.

Congratulations on first place.

I loved this retelling of the familiar tale. A girl with attitude, I particularly chuckled at the line "Did anyone tell you to let her out?" I think it might have been stronger without the last line.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
246
246
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I am reviewing this as judge of The Comedy Club Contest.

I love it. As someone who has been married to two sailors this is my type of humour. The comparison between the peaches and her parts was well thought out. And I can appreciate how someone in his dire straits might well want money more than sex.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
247
247
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I am reviewing this as judge of The Comedy Club Contest.

You say this is episode one; it will be interesting to see what the trio get up to next. Not sure human hair is of the same consistency as horse hair but an interesting concept.

Keep up with your tales.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
248
248
Review of Why?  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Unfortunately you did not comply with the rule to include your line count in the body of the piece so are disqualified.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
249
249
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This works well. It establishes who the woman and boy are and that the father has passed. It gives some idea of the setting. Nice cliff hanger at the end of the chapter.

You have a good mix of dialogue and description and show the emotional connection between the two characters.

One typo - unless this boy is deaf, I think you meant singing not signing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
250
250
Review of Rumor Has It...  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Love it. This is ideal for the young adult market. You would have to change the title though; there is a film of the same name. Not sure what the maximum word count was but once the contest is over it would be nice to see a bit more description of the other people involved.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
340 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 14 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/omstar/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/10