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Review Requests: ON
773 Public Reviews Given
774 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I like to say how I relate to an item. Spelling and grammar are less important.
I'm good at...
Giving encouragement
Favorite Genres
Thiller, Detective.
Least Favorite Genres
Fantasy, Sci-fi
Favorite Item Types
Short stories.
Least Favorite Item Types
Free verse.
I will not review...
Items over 4k words.
Public Reviews
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51
51
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Love the story. Only a few tiny criticisms. Firstly, layout. This is okay on paper but on a screen you need more spaces to make it easier to read.(Mistake)

What age group are you aiming at? It is important to decide this. Then I would look online to see what vocabulary is acceptable for that reading age.(Suggestion)

It is interesting to think what other adventures George and his friends could have. (Suggestion) You could build a collection of stories featuring these characters. This would be very saleable.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
52
52
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Not so much a review as a shared experience. As Olivia Benson I struggled to keep up. Being across the pond the time difference meant I missed a lot of conversations and was constantly on catch-up. I wrote that I was being drugged as a cover for my absences and this theme was taken up in the main story line.

Your memories of parties past make for interesting reading. I've been to a number of them myself. Do you remember the guy we tied up that got burnt alive at the end?

Now to reviewing. I started by looking for mistakes with spelling and grammar. You will be pleased to now I found none.

One thing I did find was that there were too many links. If you click one it takes you somewhere else and then you have to navigate back to the entry. This is a bit distracting. (suggestion) Maybe you could have put the links in a list at the end and placed a reference to the list in the narrative.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
53
53
Review of Writing.Com 101  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
You make good points for reviewing stories and maybe poetry, but how do you review blog entries.

Blogs are by nature the random thoughts of their author. They follow no set format. There are no characters or plot to comment on. The best you can do is look at spelling and grammar.

A section on reviewing blogs would be useful.
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54
Review by Odessa Molinari
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Not so much a review as a shared experience. As Olivia Benson I struggled to keep up. Being across the pond the time difference meant I missed a lot of conversations and was constantly on catch-up. I wrote that I was being drugged as a cover for my absences and this theme was taken up in the main story line.

Your memories of parties past make for interesting reading. I've been to a number of them myself. Do you remember the guy we tied up that got burnt alive at the end?


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
55
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for entry "Buffalo New York" 
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
If I was travelling to/in America I would find your travel blog very useful. (Mistake) You might want to go over it for typos - there are quite a few.

In the first paragraph I could feel your frustration with the travel arrangements. That's the problem when you are travelling for work - you need to get from A to B as quickly as possible. As a tourist, I would prefer the scenic route, making the most of stop-overs.

(suggestion) I don't know if it is possible, but a little map of your route would be a good addition.

Love the restaurant reviews. When you visit somewhere for the first time you always wonder where you're going to eat.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
56
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Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
If your theory is correct, has anybody seen Rebecca Brookes lately? Writing telephone conversations is not easy. (Suggestion) Put in a break each time the phone is disconnected.

I had a stream of calls the other day from an irate guy who wouldn't accept he had a wrong number. I wonder if he was one of my past characters?

I get the feeling Fiona will feature heavily in whatever story is currently being written. The end to our author's writer's block is definitely in sight.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
57
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Review of I Want To Go Too  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I wish I could go with you, but my wheelchair doesn't do hills. I can see this is written to a word limit, but the contest is over now so you could expand it.

(Suggestion) What happened on the actual hike? This could be the second half of the story.

(Suggestion) Give this section a setting. Add in how each person is feeling about the other's answers.

(Suggestion) Move into the preparations for the hike. What equipment are you taking? Are there heated discussions on what each is taking with them?

(Suggestion) I want to see the views on the route. Don't forget the pitfalls that will inevitably come up on the journey.

I see this as an action/adventure plus travelogue. It coud turn into a complete book, fact or fiction.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I like the anecdotal form of this story of a lost love. I particularly like the opening paragraph. Who could stop reading when advised to by the author himself?

There aren't many 27 year old virgins, it's true. But that first time is hard. All too often it is a quick fumble which leaves both parties disappointed. At least in this case there was love.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
59
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Review of Moving  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I have to say, I am envious of your relationship with your son. I have two daughters. The older and I only became close when she hit forty. The younger is still a work in progress.

This is a first draft. It tells the story, but just that, it 'tells'. (Suggestion) Start with the conversation about the new job. You can intersperse that conversation with your feelings on the move.

(Suggestion) 'Show' yourself looking at properties to rent with him. (Suggestion)Voice your concerns about his safety. Let us feel what a mother feels when her son is moving out.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Glass Butterflys  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Your prologue has me intrigued. It asks so many questions. I do hope the rest of the novel provides the answers.

One problem - the font is small and there are no spaces. (Suggestion) For the sake of us elder members use larger font and leave plenty of spaces.

Before you move on, run a spell check. In places you have used the wrong words, seemingly by accident. (Mistake)

You hooked me with the first few sentences. And the final part certainly made me want more. When you continue to Chapter One, make sure it also starts with a hook and preferably ends with a cliff hanger. (Suggestion)

I would like to see what the twins look like. I presume, rightly or wrongly, that Rome will not be the setting for the rest of the story. Wherever you set this, do your homework. If you don't know the settings intimately do your research. (Suggestion)

I've had readers asking why I drove down that road, or pulled in and slept in the car. If they are distracted enough to ask these questions, you have lost them.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
61
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Review of Jenga (288 words)  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I am reviewing this as part of the Birthday Review Raffle

Initial Impressions

A lot of dialogue but then I realised you were on a word limit. Once the contest is over you might want to add some description. It would be good to see what your characters look like and where the discussion is happening.(Suggestion)

Plot and characterisation

We can understand from the dialogue that these are teens in a relationship. The game of Jenga is a good way to move the plot forward. The last line says it all.

Spelling and grammar

I see no obvious problems with spelling or grammar.

Overall Impression

With a lot of the piece being dialogue I am glad to see you didn't overuse he said/she said.

for reviews


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
62
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for entry "Chapter One" 
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
I am reviewing your novel in the hope I can be of assistance. I do not claim to be an expert.

Initial Impressions

This seems at the moment to be a coming-of-age type novel, although it could be taken in many directions at this point. The final paragraph suggests something is about to happen that will change Charlie's world.

Plot and characterisation

This first chapter is establishing your main character in his normal world. We see Charlie as a bit of a dare-devil. We become aware of his strange feet. It is established that he has an attraction for Georgina despite his relationship with Madison. This sets an air of conflict.

Spelling and grammar

Check through carefully for typos. It is all too easy to miss a speech mark or a comma. Get in the habit of reading through before you move on to the next chapter.

Overall Impression

I have not read any of your later chapters as yet, so I do not know in what direction you will take your novel. Remember you are writing for young adults. You can suggest a physical relationship but be careful not to get too graphic.

for reviews


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
63
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Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I like to read stories that have some basis in real life. Your authors note tells us the history behind the story.

Now that the contest is long over, and you are no longer restricted for words it might be nice to flesh out the characters. (Suggestion) Mention of their clothing might help set the time period.

Not your mistake, but I question whether there were federal agents at this time in history. It was, after all, a divided country at that time. Hey, I'm in the UK, what do I know? I know you kicked us Brits out of the country.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
64
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Review of Wrong Address  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
An amusing way to fulfil the prompt. I wonder where Stanley will take the weird man. My guess is they are nowhere near 221b Baker Street.

When writing speech it would be better to use I'm, you're etc. unless you are making a point of the way a particular person speaks. (Suggestion)

You missed a new paragraph space after each person finishes speaking. (Mistake)

It is not necessary to label each speech with he said/she said etc. Let the actions inform the reader who is speaking. This frees up more words when you are on a limit. (Suggestion)

I am still picturing the guy in the cape. Do you think he is still looking for Mr. Holmes? I have it on good authority that Sherlock is currently at The Mall of America, Mn.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
65
65
Review of Memory Loss  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This seems like a very good description of how it feels to have a head injury and amnesia. I know you were on a word limit, but it would have been nice to have a setting. Was she at home or in hospital? (Suggestion)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
66
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Review of ROSE ELLEN  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
You have this listed as a short story, whereas it is obviously poetry. (Mistake) Also, your genre listing only has two categories. This could limit your audience. (Mistake)

The poem does actually tell a story. I can see it as a picture book. (Suggestion) The description suggests a bygone age, with their blue bonnets, a time when girls of seven and nearly eight still played with dolls rather than computer screens.

The piece has a simple rhyming form. I'm not sure whether you need so many speech marks in the last verse. (Mistake?)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of My Car Was Stolen  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Amazing the things we recall when reporting a crime. It is the minutiae that sticks in the mind. If the policeman had any sense he would send you off to write a list of missing items.

We had an incident where our living room was contaminated with asbestos. Everything was taken. When it came to listing for compensation so many things were forgotten.




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of The twist  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I know very little about poetry. We didn't study it at school beyond reciting a few of the well known ones. I will not comment on form, meter etc., only on the sentiment of the piece.

As a crime writer this does have meaning for me. I often read the work of the masters and say to myself 'Why didn't I think of that?'


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
69
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Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
How many years did he get and was the dog attached for the duration? I think I can guess where that finger had been. I've heard of a citizen's arrest but do dogs have that power? I must train our Teddy to do that.

A fun story which shows that crime does not pay.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Binky and Porky sound like they have a much longer story to tell. Older kids would love these two. With Mom locked up they can have a lot of adventures.

Your description of the outhouse almost made me gag from the smell. Once they break into the Baxter farmhouse they will have to feed themselves so there is an adventure for them.


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Review of Mistakes  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Nice one! I'm not sure there is any more you could do to improve this tale. The guy was asking for it - he got his just desserts. Not so much a horror story as a moral one. What goes around, comes around. As it was told from Falcon's POV, you couldn't bring in how Moonie felt as he saw the pile falling in his direction.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
72
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Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I'm not sure about your paragraph order. It doesn't flow well. You seem to have a problem with the word 'quiet' - note the correct spelling.

At one of my past homes I definitely had a presence. I called it Fred. It didn't speak to me but created draughts and moved doors. I can't say it was a helper.

Do your spirits tell you stories you can write down? Or do they just heckle from the side lines?


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Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
You make some good points. My step-grandson is on the autistic spectrum. My daughter is with his father, but neither of them seemed to understand his needs. He is an adult. He has learned ways to cope with the world. One of his needs is time alone in his room. They failed to understand this, the lad having grown up mainly with his mother.

We need to look at the world through the eyes of the autistic person to understand them. Annoying as they may be, the need to know you love them.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I'm not going to get into the pros and cons of the pandemic. But I have been a single parent. In the UK in the 1970s I made the choice to stay at home with my child and live on benefits. I could have worked and paid a large proportion of my wages on childcare. I would almost certainly have been worse off.

However, things change, benefits decrease in real terms. Single parents are now being forced to seek work once their children reach school age. That's okay until your child is ill and you get no sick pay.

If you can balance home working with home schooling I would go down that route.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
75
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Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
There is a lesson here. There is no such thing as a tame cat. They are all lions or tigers in tiny bodies. What Vashti did is follow her nature when she felt threatened. Threat gone, she goes back to her domesticated behaviour. For now.

This is a good warning for other cat owners. Not that you actually own a cat; they own you.


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