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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/omstar/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/4
Review Requests: ON
444 Public Reviews Given
Review Style
I like to say how I relate to an item. Spelling and grammar are less important.
I'm good at...
Giving encouragement
Favorite Genres
Thiller, Detective.
Least Favorite Genres
Fantasy, Sci-fi
Favorite Item Types
Short stories.
Least Favorite Item Types
Free verse.
I will not review...
Items over 4k words.
Public Reviews
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76
76
Review of Sound Like You  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I really liked this essay and can't agree more with its sentiments. I think a lot is to do with age and education. I was taught not to use contractions except in dialogue. It's taken years to break the habit.

I have a strong dislike of older novels/poems because of the flowery language used. Give me a modern action novel with lots of dialect and I'm happy. Now about that coffee ...


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77
77
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Funnily enough, I started an ex-wives/partners club for my ex. But nothing as innocent as this. We spent our time discussing the nasty things he had done to us and offering a shoulder to cry on to each new member.

Elements of my life with him have found their way into my writing on a number of occasions. I do hope this is pure fiction and you are not injuring women like your character.

Your years of experience show in your writing. I spotted no problems with spelling or grammar. A nice, heartwarming story on a cold, miserable day.


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78
78
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Not sure I understand all of the imagery in this piece. Poetry is not really my forte. There are some serious poetry contests on WDC and I feel your work is worthy.

Entering contests is a good way to get to know people on WDC, and it's good practice.


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79
79
Review of No Rhyme Today  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Your poetry is about the same standard as my own. Not exactly Wordsworth but having a good go. I like the idea of Ken the poet changing from rhyme to free verse. There are members on here who are experts, not just in the writing but in the knowledge of form and meter. It is worth looking at their ports to learn more.


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80
80
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
I found this very poignant. You are obviously an experienced poet even if you are new to WDC. There are a few poetry contests on here that I think you might like.

Does your way with words stretch to prose or are you dedicated to the verse?


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81
81
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
An interesting eulogy, with that famous Ausie humour shining through. I hope when I go that British stiff upper lip will not be evident in my eulogy. Always leave 'em laughing, that's my motto.


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82
82
Review of My life - Part 01  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.0)
I soon realised English is not your first language. You have done a good job considering this. Use a spell checker, revise your grammar and punctuation and most of all practice.

I see the start of a good story here, if slightly confused. Take each sentence, correct it, then use it as the start of a paragraph. Before you know it your English will improve and your story will begin to form a novel.

A simple exercise to improve description. Take the sentence 'the cat sat on the mat', then using synonyms, adjectives, adverbs, turn it into a paragraph.


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83
83
Review of Poor Muppett  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Poor Muppett, reminds me of my Casper. Was it a lizard or a croc? I spotted a couple of typos but otherwise no problems. I would be interested to read more tales from the bush from such a good storyteller.

Keep entering contests, it's good practice. And it gets you known within the WDC community.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
84
84
Review of All Cracked Up  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I loved this. (Cracked up in fact). We don't get much in the way of quakes in UK. The small one we did have in 1978 I thought was a dizzy spell. I do know about cracks though. Nasty one in my kitchen floor my landlord said he couldn't see.

This piece is well written with just the right amount of dialogue and description.


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85
85
Review of Circle: Chapter 1  
Review by Odessa Molinari
Rated: E | (1.0)
This is extremely difficult to read. Make your sentences shorter, use paragraphs. Also, this is nowhere near enough for a chapter. This is not so much a story as a stream of consciousness. Try some flash fiction before you move on to novels. Hone your skills.


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86
86
Review by Odessa Molinari
Rated: E | (5.0)
My entry -
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#2019098 by Not Available.


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87
87
Review of Nine One One  
Review by Odessa Molinari
Rated: E | (4.0)
Did they 'scramble' the air ambulance?


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88
88
Review by Odessa Molinari
Rated: E | (4.0)
Bus driver maths was even more confusing when I was that age; we still had pre-decimal money so the fare could well have been something like fourpence three farthings for one and two halves.

NB. Twenty shillings to a pound
12 pennies to a shilling
4 farthings to a penny.

I know - I'm ancient.


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89
89
Review of BARBARA  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
The style makes me think of a personal diary in which one writes down what they have been thinking about that day. It could well be a sign post to further stories about the people mentioned.

You wrote 'Memory is strange' twice. Personally, I would move the sentences about remembering more to follow the second one. The last phrase suggests there is something dark to come. If that is the case, leave the revelation until last but hint at it to keep the reader wanting more.

I like the way you have linked to certain music; maybe this could be your connection between stories. Keep going with this, it could grow into something great.


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90
90
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
An interesting idea. I believe there is a growing number of people eating roadkill, both in the US and here, in UK. Again your punctuation goes awry in places.

I once had a roadkill pheasant for Christmas dinner, but, I have to admit, it was a deliberate hit, on my now ex, husband's part. The darned thing kept flying at the windscreen in the lane leading to the farm where he worked. One day he put a bit of his pasty in the road to attract it, then, WHAM! one tenderised pheasant for dinner.


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91
91
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I am reviewing this as judge of The Comedy Club Contest.

You have some interesting characters; Michelle, with her urban reserve, man-mad Sherrie, sleepwalker Walt and the rest of the gang. This could make a good novel, written in the form of Michelle's diary.

I have lived in places where everyone knew everyone else's business, and places like where I live now, neighbours that barely speak. I think I prefer the former. Living on my own most of the time, it's nice to have someone to chat to.


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92
92
Review of Fearful Passion  
for entry "Chapter One
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
I haven't read all of this story, but it would be a shame to keep it as a novella. It has the possibility for a full length novel. You can add so much more in the way of description by interspersing the dialogue with comments and feelings about the place and the times.


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93
93
Review of Berlin Wall  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I like your story but the use of the 'a with accent' instead of inverted commas was irritating. I guess it's a computer problem. I'm glad they finally got back together when the wall came down, although it took a lot longer than your story would suggest.


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94
94
Review of Caged Song Bird  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
I like this story about slavery. The first few sentences could be combined - The dark surrounds me, suffocating me, until I can't think, can't question, anything going on.

Have you tried entering any contests yet. It is a good way to get to know people, to get advice and to win gift points.


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95
95
Review of beer legends 1+2  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Although these tales are interesting, I found them a little confused in the telling. Build each tale separately, make it clear where one story ends and another begins. Unless this is intended as non-fiction, try tying the stories together over a pint with a knowlegeable local.


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96
96
Review of Sick  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)
This piece needs a little work. You used dying twice and the last line doesn't rhyme. Have a look at entries in the various poetry contests on WDC for clues to improve your skills; that's how I learn.

Entering contests is a good way to get to know people, get advice and earn some gift points.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
97
97
Review of GOBSMACKED  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I am reviewing this as judge of The Comedy Club Contest.

I'm not sure I fully comprehended the layout of the driveway but maybe it is one of those places that defy description. Baby brain, no doubt, had an influence on events.


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98
98
Review of Dear Santa  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I am reviewing this as judge of The Comedy Club Contest.

I like the idea of a letter to Santa, but, if the guy in the pub was the real deal, why are you telling him what happened, or do you think he might have drunk so much Christmas brandy he might have no recall?


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99
99
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
I am reviewing this as judge of The Comedy Club Contest.

Do we ever know the person we are marrying/moving in with? And do we grow together or apart as time goes by? I would love to know in advance that the guy I've just met is adicted to drink/drugs, or is into kinky stuff involving pain. But surely relationships are about discovering those little foibles over time.

Keep the mystery!


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100
100
Review of The CSI Effect  
Review by Odessa Molinari
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
A well put together essay, well researched. I agree wholeheartedly with the idea that fans of TV shows have an unrealistic idea of the Justice system.

I know how long DNA results take; I have friends who have done paternity tests. In real life an autopsy could take weeks to complete, not least because they have to be done in turn. As to fingerprints, it took several hours to collect prints at a simple break-in, a murder would be far more extensive.

I always take TV, movies and novels as pure fiction. Yes, they do teach us how samples are collected and what processes they go through but I am sensible enough to know that all this is compressed into an hour or so when in reality it takes months.


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