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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/omstar/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/5
Review Requests: ON
773 Public Reviews Given
774 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I like to say how I relate to an item. Spelling and grammar are less important.
I'm good at...
Giving encouragement
Favorite Genres
Thiller, Detective.
Least Favorite Genres
Fantasy, Sci-fi
Favorite Item Types
Short stories.
Least Favorite Item Types
Free verse.
I will not review...
Items over 4k words.
Public Reviews
Previous ... 1 2 3 4 -5- 6 7 8 9 10 ... Next
101
101
Review of Untitled Story  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I will be interested to see how this story pans out. It is a good idea to leave spaces after each speaker. It makes reading from a screen easier. I see no other problems with spelling or grammar.

I have to ask - would an autistic person be capable of speaking to a large group? My grandson struggles with crowds.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
102
102
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
An interesting article with a personal touch. You relate your decision making process, with all it's twists and turns, in a manner that could be a conversation with a friend.

I have seen other articles on the subject which go on about 'meanings', cultural references etc. From one of those I learned that 'combine harvester' is a girls name. Who knew?


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
103
103
Review of A Summer Quest  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
That little adventure was way too short. He's with Grandma for six weeks. The treasure hunt lasted a few hours. Lloyd could have found it necessary to study the geology book to find the next clue. His hunt could be interrupted by meals and bedtime. The treasure could have been something which would lead to a lifelong interest.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
104
104
Review of Dad Holmes  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
The case of the missing peanut butter. Rebecca Brookes is on the case. Having interviewed the available suspects she came to the same conclusion. Elementary Mr. Holmes.

A nice little domestic drama. I see no problems with spelling or grammar. Not sure that peanut butter is good for squirrels though.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
105
105
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
More 'tell' than 'show' but still a good story. I wonder if his prayers were answered? It sounds as though he lived a good life, so nurture overcame nature.

I see no problem with spelling or grammar. Try building on this with more description of his life.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
106
106
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Not really my kind of story but fairly well told. For reading on screen it could do with more spacing. Use a new paragraph for each speaker. I see no problems with spelling or grammar.

I am glad to see a Newbie entering contests. That is a good way to make friends, get reviews, learn from other members of the community.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
107
107
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Woops! Who's got it wrong? Joy, for smiling or Clara for saying not to? It seems the smile changed the Ambassador's mind, but what were the consequences for Joy?

There is no clear POV character here. I also spotted at least one typo; 'are' instead of 'our'.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
108
108
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
This feels a little simplified. Give a feel of the streets he ran through. Describe the monsters, friend or foe. Add more depth to his feelings.

I get what your story is saying. As a senior citizen, my schooling was very much about learning facts so you could pass exams and conform to the norms of society. Hopefully that has changed.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
109
109
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A very insightful article. Written in 2013, the only changes have been for the better. You give plenty of detail, which could help anyone new to the site or even considering joining.

I see no problems with spelling or grammar. Keep on writing and encouraging.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
110
110
Review of January Meeting  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Well, it didn't take very long to get to know Marcus. Some people could find his love of trivia challenging. Although this is a complete story, it is also something which could grow. Already, we have moved on to February facts. And there's a whole year to work through.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
111
111
Review of 452-8652  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
An unusual combination of short story and poetry. I take it from the bolded last line that this was a contest entry. We get to know Jade, but Elliot is left as a bit of an enigma. It used to be a flower in the lapel, or a rolled up paper; since when has blind dating been reduced to a number. So impersonal.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
112
112
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
If only life was that easy. I can't even get my shopping delivered without photo ID. I thought hermits shut themselves away, not travelled the world. He sounds more like a fake than a fakir, conning his way through life. I know what he means about every day being a celebration. I've got to the stage in my life where I celebrate just waking up every day.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
113
113
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
A good start, but flash fiction should tell a complete story, this doesn't. As a snippet of something much longer, I am intrigued as to where it is going. I see that you have listed it as sci-fi. Maybe a 'men in black' kind of thing? I worked as a temp for a while. Nothing so interesting happened to me.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
114
114
Review of Dear Michael  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
A touching final letter to a young man. Maybe you repeat yourself, perhaps you need to, to empathise the message you want to convey. You don't say what the relationship between these two is, but I would guess at father and son.

You have made me think. Maybe I need to leave letters to my girls.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
115
115
Review of Scrambled Eggs  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
You may be a Newbie here on WDC, but you are obviously not new to writing. Your second sentence does contain an error; you wrote attached twice. Easily corrected. I'm not sure, but I think the listed words in the prompt are meant to be bolded. Best check or you could be disqualified. Also, you need to give your wordcount.

Get these small details right, and this could be a winning entry.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
116
116
Review of The Moonlight  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I like your story but you need to work on it. There are comas where none belong and missing where they should be. Read it through again. See if you can work it out for yourself. That is the best way to learn. If you are still struggling, ask for help.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
117
117
Review of YoungTown  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
I know that this is a contest entry and that it has a word limit, but it seems a bit rushed. Although the concept is a good one, it covers too long a period of time to really do it justice.

This would make a good outline for a novel, particularly in the YA category. Describe the Indian attack, how the children escaped, how they felt. Relate the journey to the town. (Somehow I don't think it would take a month to travel ten miles.)

Let us see the town through the children's eyes. Show us the progress the youngsters made in renovating. Don't just tell us what jobs their fathers had, show it by their abilities.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
118
118
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
The rambling mind of an ideas person. The first part makes it sound like it is the circus itself that is stapled to the electrical pole. Lost pets, we have it covered with our local facebook group. Mainly cats, occasionally children (Most return home quickly, but there have been the few more serious crimes in the last couple of years.)

So many people are rushing around these days. Stop and look and smell the daisies. You're a long time dead.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
119
119
Review of Never Look Up  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
And did they get away with it? This is obviously a contest entry, hence the sentence in bold, but it is not a complete story. It shows promise but it is only a scene from something which needs to be much longer. Even as a scene it fails to reach a conclusion.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
120
120
Review of Ol' Man Doolittle  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I am visualising this in a movie. It would freak out the audience, especially if it came to this ending ie no ending. Doolittle is a nasty bit of work. I could understand anyone wanting to hit him. As for Will, I think he could go for an insanity plea.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
121
121
Review of Change of Season  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I like the idea that you use the screen door as a sort of calendar. It is not so far-fetched. The weather is becoming more extreme. Maybe the sun has moved. (Frightening thought.)

I like the husband's reaction. The tv would tell you the truth? Really?


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
122
122
for entry "Night Terrors
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (4.0)
At first I thought it was a horror story, then I realised it was a child having nightmares. The ancient one, his grandmother, did indeed teach him a secret. It is unfortunate that trick does not work for adults because our 'monsters' are in the real world.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
123
123
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
What is Al studying, fisheries management? It's hard enough being the poor kid but of a different species? I can visualise this scenario, but with a refugee with little English and maybe different colouring. When it comes down to it, prejudice applies to creatures as well as humans.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
124
124
Review of Shopping  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
A nice little tale of childhood exploits. Those revolving doors have always frightened me; I was scared I would get trapped inside, especially one that turned on its own.

I can picture Sarah riding around inside. I know from my own experience of a wilful daughter, how the mother would have felt.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
125
125
Review of Beauty  
Review by Odessa Molinari
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I can see some people moving to the mountains to get away from Covid. It is not unreasonable to believe that rural groups could, at some point, be attacked. For some, Coronavirus has brought them closer as they fight a mutual enemy. Others, well, it's every man for himself.

With more development this could become a novel. Then the characters can really come to life.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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