This is strangely beautiful for so few words. In twenty-four syllables you've already captured my attention, and I wish there was more (if only this was a fourty-eight syllables contest. Imagine what you could do with that!) Thank you for writing this little piece, I loved it.
I really like this. The rhyme structure hooked me on to this pretty quickly, and I love the different comparisons you make - especially the 'moon and stars' and 'raven' sentences - they were really powerful and I'm sure this poem will stick in my mind for quite a while now. Thank you for writing this! It was stunning and a really good poem to read.
I love this poem! The enjambment at the end of lines made this really interesting to read in places and the contrast between the point of the poem and the simple language made this a beautiful read. I love the repeat of the first paragraph in the last one, it was a nice link to make, and the last line was kinda stunning. Well done! :) This was really good