*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/patrece
Review Requests: ON
412 Public Reviews Given
Review Style
***To be continued***
I'm good at...
***To be continued***
Favorite Genres
***To be continued***
Least Favorite Genres
Sci-Fi (for the most part.) ***To be continued***
Favorite Item Types
***To be continued***
Least Favorite Item Types
I am not very fond of reviewing poetry items due to my lack of knowledge concerning poetry.
I will not review...
Anything containing cruelty toward animals and children. Explicit sexual content, nor anything over GC.
Public Reviews
Previous ... -1- 2 3 4 5 6 7 ... Next
1
1
Review of Public Service  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Patrece here, with a Power Reviewers ~ September Superpower Raid Review for you.


*Paw*Why I chose to review this work.

The September theme for our raid review is celebrating the letter S. So, either your username, the title, or something else includes this letter and I landed upon this item. I hope you enjoy the review! *Bigsmile*

*Paw* My impression of this piece:

I must admit, you have chosen a great category for this piece when you chose satire. I believe you nailed it with this one. Politics is something I avoid discussing for the most part, because we all have our own views, and rarely do they match up to what others think. There's enough to struggle with, in this life. So, I try to not create more by arguing with friends and/or family, or others. BUT, I've got to say, if they thought they could get away with it, I fully believe the speech given in this short story is exactly what our politicians would say to us. Sadly, I am also fairly well convinced it is exactly how we, the everyday people of this world, are considered by our governing bodies and the very wealthy as well.

One of the things a successfully written story does is to draw the reader in and give them an experience with our words. You have to somehow connect with the reader through your story in a way that makes them 'feel'. You did a great job of that with this one because, it stirred up my personal frustrations and did, indeed, get a reaction from me. Great job!

This is a well-written piece, and it was a pleasure to read.

*Paw* Pace/Plot/Character:

You did a great job with character development, especially given the fact this is a short work. You gave us insight into how his mind works, what he wants to accomplish, his general attitude, and even some of his trademark expressions. You also provided just enough information about his assistant to make her seem 'real', too.

The pace was nicely done and the plot was well thought out. Great job!


*Paw* What I really liked:

I enjoyed the fact that you wrote about something that can be highly controversial - yet honestly explores the sad state of our world these days.

I really appreciated that you were able to give the reader an image of what the main character was thinking as he took in the view in front of him, yet did so quite tastefully, in this part. "...he followed the PA’s perky posterior down another corridor..." I think it was a very successful way to share that, while not being offensive to any reader that might encounter this writing. Bravo!

*Paw* Suggestions:(Of course, these are only my thoughts and intended to be helpful, but please ignore anything that does not work for you!)

* Here, "The place was as silent as the tomb", I believe it might read a touch better if you replace the word "the" (in front of the word tomb) with the word "a". I only suggest this because saying "the tomb" leads one to think a specific tomb is being referenced.
* Perhaps, in this sentence, consider adding the word "status" where indicated in green. using his celebrity status to spread his message - Because when reading this, it felt like that word was missing from it.
* In the following sentence there is a little hiccup when reading it. I give suggestions in red on what I feel might help it read a little smoother. "Techs were adjusting lights, (remove the comma and use the word 'and' in it's place) camera operators were moving their units around, while grips were making last-minute adjustments to the set,(I do not think this comma is needed here.) under the watchful eyes..."

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:

This truly was a great read! I appreciate that you shared it with the WDC community. Until next time...write on!
Also, I wish you a very happy WDC anniversary!



*Vine2**Burstp* Celebrating the Letter S *Burstb**Vine1*
the
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
Review Raid

*Vine2**Burstp**Burstb**Vine1*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
2
2
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Patrece here, with a Power Reviewers ~ September Superpower Raid Review for you.


*Paw*Why I chose to review this work. The September theme for our raid review is celebrating the letter S. So, either your username, item title, or something else includes this letter, and I landed upon this item. I hope you enjoy the review! *Bigsmile*

*Paw* My impression of this piece:
This item was an enjoyable read that shared the history of an iconic sweet (and salty) treat that many children still love to indulge in, today. It is a short, but interesting read.

*Paw* Pace//Plot/Character:
This area is not applicable to the item being reviewed.

*Paw* What I really liked:
I really liked the laid-back and conversational tone set by the author (you), and learning a little bit about something I never knew the origin of.

*Paw* Suggestions:
*In this section, a comma is needed where indicated in red. Today, salt water taffy is found... (This is located in paragraph 1)
*And here, The same thing is needed. Today, there's an awesome boardwalk...
*Lastly, I'd suggest that you look back over the wording and find alternatives for words that were repeated in this short piece. I believe this would help it read a little more smoothly...kind of like the smooth texture of the saltwater taffy it is based on. *Laugh*

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
All in all, I really enjoyed reading this unique informational item, and look forward to reading more of your articles that teach the reader about something factual that they may not have otherwise known.


*Vine2**Burstp* Celebrating the Letter S *Burstb**Vine1*
the
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
Review Raid

*Vine2**Burstp**Burstb**Vine1*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
3
3
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you for creating and sharing this word search puzzle. I enjoyed it very much! There were several words to locate, and that makes it more fun!
4
4
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello ✨GERV➻❥On Hiatus , Patrece here, with a Power Review of your item; "Ultimate Candy Crusher Game.


*Paw* Initial Impression:
At first glance, this looks super complicated, but once I played it the first time, it really was much easier than it seemed.

*Paw* What Works:
I think it is very cool that you allow players to roll the dice for themselves, or you will roll for them. It is a good thing that you determine what the outcome of the rolls are, as I don't quite have that down pat, and doubt I could figure it all out without it taking me a bit of time, even then...yeah. *Laugh* I also love that you allow the purchasers of the Lolli Hammers to choose which group they want their purchase to benefit. I really enjoyed being able to reward members of my group "TLC Challenge Forum ~ Closed for participation with this fun game of chance.

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
It is clear that you put an enormous amount of time, thought, and work into creating the Ultimate Candy Crusher Game. Thank you for coming up with a very unique and fun fundraiser!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*


A dragon reading a book by candle light
5
5
Review of A Mad Tea Party  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Rhyssa , Patrece here, with a Power Review of your item; "A Mad Tea Party.


*Paw* Initial Impression:
What a fun and creative Madlib you have created for the Wonderland . I really enjoyed trying to solve it. I didn't do too badly, but it did make me laugh when I entered very incorrect words in some of the blanks! *Laugh*

*Paw* What Works:
Everything about it works! It is just plain awesome. Thank you so much for sharing it.

*Paw* Suggestions:
I have no suggestions for improvement. It is perfect as is.

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
I sure could use your skill in creating this to guide me in creating one of my own. Great job, truly!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*


A dragon reading a book by candle light
6
6
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Richie Krueger ~ Bald Lil' Bro , Patrece here, with a Power Review of your item; "Sinatra Love Songs.


*Paw* Initial Impression:
This was actually very enjoyable! I don't often do crossword puzzles. You had such a creative take on it too, thanks for sharing it with the WdC community. It's perfect for the month of February! It also reminded me of so many beautiful songs that I love and haven't heard in a very long time. Now, I want to listen to some of them again. *Laugh* Now, look what you've gone and done. *Bigsmile*

*Paw* To fulfill your request:
I solved it with the following word list, in order:
(Across) Kick, marriage, stupid, night, romance, coins, under, jealous, strangers, love, luck
(Down) Know, close, you, way, best, mine, people, funny, thing, crush, look, all

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
Thank you for sharing this, and for the fun challenge, and for the wonderful offer you put out to us all for completing this. How super-generous and it is much appreciated, secret ninja-monkey! Write on! *Heart*

A dragon reading a book by candle light
7
7
Review of Love Me Tender  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This was a very enjoyable word search puzzle. I enjoyed completing it and the word content and meaning it shares with us. It wasn't difficult to complete and I actually found it to be a relaxing activity, just before I will be logging off for the night. Thank you for sharing!
8
8
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
The trinket is beautiful. But what is more beautiful than even that, are the words you included as a part of it. I learned much about the specific butterfly species, and about the beauty of YOUR heart! Thank you so much, for sharing this! I found it very touching!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
9
9
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Heart* A Paper Doll Gang Review in honor of your OPEN HOUSE! Congratulations!*Heart*


Hello, TheLegendaryMaskedRider I just finished reading your piece "Jack "O" Lantern Dip bowl and I wanted to offer you the following commentsand feedback.


*Paw* My impression of this piece:
*Laugh* I LOVE IT! The image that accompanies this piece gives the reader no choice but to be instantly drawn in and captured by this fun and creative project. I have no doubt that I am going to have to give this a try this coming Halloween. The only problem I see with it is that people will likely be hesitant to mess up such a fun and amusing work of art!

*Paw* Readability:
Some of the instructions are a little difficult to follow along with, as they aren't all written in a way that is completely clear to understand. While I was able to read back through them a couple of times to gain understanding, there may be people who cannot. However, this does not apply to all instructions. I will note the areas that weren't initially clear below, under the suggestions area.

*Paw* What works well / Strong points :
The humor of the project itself, as well as the humor in your statement: "yes all that oooey gooey guts." I love humor in writing! I also believe that providing step by step instructions are a wonderful highlight to this. Best of all, however, is that you also include the recipes for each dip that goes with this project, rather than leaving the reader to search for them or buy pre-made dips. Then, going the extra mile, you even give the specifics on how to set it all up! Fantastic!

*Paw* Errors noted:
***A tiny error here: "yes all that thoseoooey gooey guts."

*Paw* Suggestions:
***Just as a suggestion, it may help those planning to follow through with creating this awesome project if you were to list each ingredient on its own line, followed by a list of ancillary supplies needed, each also listed on its own line. This way, they could just print this out and have their shopping list in an organized form. However, as I said this is only a suggestion, and not doing so won't make or break this awesome project in the least.

*** Here is what I was referring to as the part of the instructions that I found a bit confusing. (Maybe it was just me?) "Take the 3 pieces on the black, stick one straight pin into the top and one on the bottom; then pin in place above the mouth area. Then glue stick the red and yellow to the black; Whatever way you want them to look."

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
All in all a wonderful item! I enjoyed it very much and will definitely be giving it a try this coming Halloween! I look forward to reading more of your work over the month of June, and into the future! Great job! I hope you have more fun and creative projects in your port!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*

Patrece

** Image ID #2148767 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
10
10
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is so beautiful! You are too! Thank you so much for sharing this. You made my day! Just remember, you mean so much to me, and I am honored to be your friend!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
11
11
Review of An Unlikely Hero  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Heart* A Paper Doll Gang Review *Heart*


Hello, River I just finished reading your piece "An Unlikely Hero and I wanted to offer you the following comments!


*Paw* My impression of this piece:
I truly didn't know what to expect when I decided to read and review this piece. Ad now that i have, I find that I am curious to know what the prompt given for the contest was. I really enjoyed reading this piece, and must admit that it kept me engaged from beginning to end. It also occurred to me as I read this, that Gloria and Benny had been biding their time, and the incident this particular night gave them the perfect opportunity to take the next step in exploring a possible relationship.

*Paw* Readability:
This is very well written, and easy to follow and understand.

*Paw* What works well / Strong points :
You did a wonderful job with sharing this short story in a show rather than tell way. For example: She tried to forget about the pilot and her gaze settled once again on Benny. A sure sign to the reader that she is drawn to him.

I also love how Benny follows Gloria outside when she goes out to take a break and is followed by Lewis. He was insightful and protective enough to see to her safety, and for her, that was a good thing. He stepped up and protected her when otherwise, she would have been completely helpless again the drunken Lewis.

*Paw* Errors noted:
No errors noted. Great job!

*Paw* Suggestions:
I would have loved to have been able to keep reading and have seen where the night went with Gloria and Benny, but I understand that being a contest entry there were likely constraints on word count, etc. Should you ever decide to expand upon this, I'd love to see where it goes from here. Inquiring minds want to know.

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
The only thing I do have to share that doesn't quite fit here, is that when a victim or another person calls 911 for any type of violence type offense, the victim no longer has a say in whether or not charges are filed. Once the authorities are called in, it becomes the state vs the offender. So in that one aspect, there is a bit of inaccuracy.

You clearly have a wonderful talent in the world of authoring. I have truly enjoyed reading your story. Thank you for sharing your talent and creativity!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*

Patrece

** Image ID #2148767 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
12
12
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you for sharing this most informational article. I found the comparison to be quite interesting and educational. I must agree the lines penned by Sackville Were not only flat, but also caused the reader to work a bit at reading his work. Whereas, Sidney penned an active read that was much easier to follow.

I have one suggestion / Correction for you. In one spot you refer to the name "Spencer", rather than "Sidney", whom I am fairly sure you were intending to refer to.

A great lesson on making your words count!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
13
13
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Heart* A Paper Doll Gang ANNIVERSARY Review *Heart*


Hello, Pat ~ Rejoice always! Happy 10th WDC Anniversary! I just finished reading your piece "Voice for the Children and I wanted to offer you the following comments!


*Paw* My impression of this piece: As a former foster parent, I truly appreciate this candid article on one of many issues facing both the foster / adoptive family as well as the child coming into the home. Many first time foster parents or adoptive parents have no concept of how difficult the initial transition into the new home is for the child in the first place, (and will be for them as well), attachment disorder aside.

But then to have the AD thrown in to the mix is mind boggling at the very least. I knew of several foster parents that blamed themselves for being "failures" or "terrible parents" because no one prepared them for the realities of what they would likely face with the attachment disorder. When you say it is everyones responsibility to educate prospective foster / adoptive parents on this topic, I couldn't agree more. Not to do so, is to set everyone involved up for failure and to set the children up to suffer even further from this devastating affliction.

*Paw* Readability:
This is written in a way that is very clearly stated and easy to follow along and comprehend.

*Paw* What works well / Strong points :
I truly believe what works best in this article, is your open and honest approach with the reader. You provide your audience with true facts about your own personal experiences without trying to sugar-coat the truth of the matter. I feel this is important in getting across the message you are sharing and provides some true eye opening to prospective foster or adoptive parents. I applaud you for this.

*Paw* Errors noted:
*** Here, there is a tiny typo, which is easy to miss. "I wish I could think {{u}c:red}if its name." (I believe it should have been "of".)

*Paw* Suggestions:
Have you considered writing a book ( or several smaller booklets aimed at different areas) geared toward educating adoptive parents / foster parents, or those considering it? Sometimes this type of support and education is better received on a peer to peer level. You can share your ups and downs. Methods of effective assistance you were able to locate, and even offer a support group for consumers of your book(s). I'll bet it would be a HUGE hit! Heck, you might even be able to book speaking gigs at local foster and adoption agencies to offer education and personal experiences to their prospective candidates. Just think of the difference you could make in so many lives! Sorry... did I get carried away there? I just have THAT much faith in you, and was THAT inspired by your article.

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
What a remarkable woman you are to put your heart and soul into these children as you have! I truly admire you! *Hug* Thank you for writing this and sharing it with the WDC community and me! If there had been a 4.75 stars, that's what it would have received!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*

Patrece

** Image ID #2148767 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
14
14
Review of Ghost Dog  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Paw*Why I chose to review this work.
I absolutely love dogs! And when I noticed this piece and ruwth 's newsfeed review challenge, I had to get in on it. Thank you for sharing your work!

*Paw* My impression of this piece:
You bring your beloved and departed canine friend to life for all to experience, in this loving tribute to his special place your heart and in your life. His playful and mischievous manner comes across clearly, and your appreciation for his special ways and how much they meant to you shine through in this lovingly drafted poem about his continued presence in your life, even after his passing. What a beautiful way to share the bond the two of you havesharied and apparently, continue to share, together.

*Paw* What I really liked:
You so an outstanding job of bringing Scooter to life in the minds eye of the reader. rather than break our hearts with the loss your encountered, you give u hope and joy in the continuing relationship between the two of you in this heart warming tale.

*Paw* Suggestions:
The only suggestion I have to offer refers to the last line in stanza four and the first line of stanza five. I'd like to suggest that you revisit these lines and make a change to one of the two, as you repeat the word "disappear" in both. While I realize it rhymes in both lines, these of the same word in two successive lines feels redundant. Surely, with your talent, you can find a way to rephrase without repeating this word two lines in a row. Aside from this, it is just lovely!

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
thank you for sharing your creative talent with the res of us here at WDC! I really enjoyed reading this beautiful piece!

A Simply Positive Group Sig For Reviewers.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
15
15
Review of Where's My Sword  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Heart* A Paper Doll Gang Review *Heart*


Hello, Dawn Embers I just finished reading your piece "Where's My Sword and I wanted to offer you the following comments!


*Paw* My initial impression of this piece:
I really enjoyed reading this charming children's story. It is clear that it is set during an earlier period of time, when farming and self sufficiency was a way of life. It teaches an enlightening lesson to the children today, on how life really used to be, back before technology and human rights, especially, women rights came into being. Based on gender, certain expectations were placed upon individuals as to what the role they were to play in life was expected. There was no real considerations for personal wishes, only the standard expectations placed upon individuals based on age and gender. While I am not sure that a child might read and really absorb the true and full lesson being shown in this, it does do a great job of conveying it. The two youngest children were lucky to have each other and to also each have their won expectations of what role they wanted to be a part of in their lives. While the father wasn't very accommodating, these siblings were close, and accepted each other for who they were. A true git that they, alone could share.

*Paw* Readability: For the most part this has a great flow and is very easy to follow along with for the chosen audience. I have a couple of suggestions that I will share below, but all in all, it is wonderful!

*Paw* What works well / Strong points :
The two youngest children, actually seemed to crave the lifestyle intended for the other, as far as their father's expectations. But they were both wise enough to understand that they each wanted was was expected of the other. It is so heart touching in the end, when these siblings trade gifts with each other, making both so much happier and fulfilled. Children today, just don't know how well they have it when it comes to having more freedom of choice.

*Paw* Suggestions: Feel free to take them, or leave them.
See suggestions here.

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
A wonderful tale, that shares the message that it is okay to want to be more than what is familial or socially expected of you, and that along the way, one will likely find another who understands this and helps them along the way. Thank you for sharing your work! And again, although I made some suggestions, they are of my opinion only, and I would never want to make you feel as if i were trying to tell your story for you. i am just trying to share a few ideas's that I thought might help the flow of the tale being spun! Write on! An keep up the great work!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*

Patrece

** Image ID #2148767 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
16
16
Review of London Bridge  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Nice job! There were some very unexpected words to be found here! For some reason it didn't want to accept the markings for the word down, but in the end, I had it right. *Laugh* Thank you for sharing this! Good luck in the PDG Race!
17
17
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Gravedigger Dave , Patrece here, with a ** Image ID #2049306 Unavailable ** review of your item; "Leprechauns & Rainbows.


*Paw* Initial Impression:
My pet dragon delivered me atop a vivid sparkling rainbow. I slid with breathtaking speed down from the arch and landed on a cushion of four-leaf clovers on The Emerald Isle! Catching my breath and gaining my bearings, I was able to make out the sound of two voices: one with an enchanting, male Irish lilt, the other soft, sad, and beautifully feminine; like a gentle spring breeze.

So enraptured was I, that I found myself unable to turn away from the scene unfolding in front of me. A private moment it was, yet it was clear that I was invited to share in it. So I followed along the road painted in broken hearts and dismay, and found my heart filling with hope and joy for the lass, as the two conversed. For the darkness lifted and a spectacular rainbow appeared, and onto it they veered. I knew then, all would be well. I continued to follow along, unable to disengage, and witnessed the unfolding of a beautiful love That would always be true.


*Paw* Flow:
The flow was wonderful, and engaging and held my attention well. Nicely written!

*Paw* What Works:
You created a beautiful love story in the form of a poem. And, to be honest, I rarely review poetry, as it isn't my strong suit. But you created this in a way that readers of many Genre's can thoroughly enjoy the tale!

*Paw* Suggestions:
None at all, except for maybe encouraging you to continue to spin your magical words in such a beautiful and engaging way!

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
Thank you, for sharing your work, This piece deserves the ribbon which adorns it!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*


** Image ID #2148767 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
18
18
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Please understand that this review is based on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.


*Heart* A Paper Doll Gang Review *Heart*


Hello, VisonzOfDystopia I just finished reading your piece "A Rose In Dystopia and I wanted to offer you the following comments!


*Paw* My impression of this piece:
I rarely ever review poetry, as I rarely ever write it. But the beauty of the feelings shared here grabbed ahold of my attention and held it. In the midst of a world filled with darkness and despair, the pure inner beauty of this person shown through, and touched the writers heart and changed their world. No longer a world of bleak, hopelessness, but a splash of bright colors now painting your world. A shining, new and beautiful future rising before the author is heart touching and fills the reader with hope for the happiness filling the emotions and future of the writer. You have created a vivid image promising so much, in so few, well chosen words. Bravo!

*Paw* Readability:
I found this easy to read and to continue reading with it's heartwarming, fresh hope. The flow is fairly smooth. Just a suggestion or two will be shared with you below, that may help the flow just a bit.

*Paw* What works well / Strong points :
I believe my absolute favorite line(s) in this writing are the closing lines. They speak of a powerful change to the author's life.
"Thievery at play, usurped my heart;
embezzled like colonial gold,
hauled from the shipwreck of me."

The deep emotion with which this is written adds to the effect it has upon the reader. You have written this in a way that truly paints an image in the mind of the reader.

*Paw* Suggestions:
***In this line, I'd like to suggest the use of punctuation after the word "rose". An illustrious rose she arose from fields dystopian.
***Here, I believe you may have missed adding a "s" where indicated. She enchant(s) a soured dream,
Aside from these two suggestions, I have no others.

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
I have enjoyed reading this piece, and appreciate you sharing it with me. I hope the beauty of this fresh rose that has emerged into your life remains!


*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*

Patrece

** Image ID #1563070 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
19
19
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello {suser:xx), Patrece here, with a ** Image ID #2148507 Unavailable ** review of your item; "Invalid Item.


*Paw* Initial Impression:
Okay, so I admit the subtitle is what drew me in! The rest kept me quite interested. I too, have been subjected to such "doctors" if you want to call them that. In reality, speaking as a Licensed Practical Nurse, and a woman with a brain in her head, that man is nothing more than an insurance abuser. It doesn't matter who was the smoker or nor, what your diet is or was, or anything else. YOU, as an individual are still entitled to competent medical care, which you did NOT receive. In your position, I believe I would have called my insurance company and informed them of the malpractice you experienced when there, then fought to get my co-pay back. There was a time when medical practitioners really gave a darned about the people they provided care to. I'm afraid those days are long gone.

*Paw* Flow:
The flow was great, and the message perfectly understandable.

*Paw* What Works:
Your honesty in conveying what you went through just to be blown off anyhow. Been there, done that. It's a shame that you went through all of that, just to go home and hav to treat your own wound. Tings like this need to be exposed and talked about. Too many people suffer from lack of competent and compassionate medical care. Heck..Just competent would be nice!

*Paw* Suggestions:
My only suggestions are to talk to your insurance company, inform them of the LACK of care you received, and also as them to advocate for you to get a refund of your co-pay, if you had one. The actions of the doctor (or actually lack there-of), does not constitute adequate medical care. You and your insurance company were both taken advantage of by this guy. I'd have been steaming hot angry too!

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
Thank you for sharing this. At least I don't feel so along in my quest for proper medical care. I'm so sorry you had to go through this. I think it is great that you grew attention to this issue, and hope you took more steps to put an end to that particular doctor practicing insurance fraud and not providing adequate patient care. *hg*

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*






*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
20
20
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello {suser:grace07), Patrece here, with a ** Image ID #2148507 Unavailable ** review of your item; "Stranger from Across the Chasm.


*Paw* Initial Impression:
The beginnings of a well told story. You grabbed my attention and kept my interest in it.

*Paw* Flow:
A nice, smooth flow was present and it was easy to read and understand.

*Paw* What Works:
You definitely did great job of grabbing the readers attention with the "gossip" of the townsfolk, and sharing their insights and observations. It was getting really interesting! A great job of intriguing the reader.

*Paw* Suggestions:
***There are a few areas where I feel like you may need to check your punctuation, but as I need a refresher REALLY bad, I don't want to mess you up. Maybe try running it through www.paperrater.com or the like?
***Here you missed a word, I do believe "The girl lifted a hand to catch a strand of flyaway hair."
***Is this it??? I know the writers cramp is limited in time and words, but since you missed the deadline, but still wrote this and published it, I was disappointed at the sudden ending of it. Since you didn't make the deadline, why not expand on this? YES I liked it that much! I wanted to see where it was going to head.

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
Please let me know if you decide to expand on this story. I think you have an excellent 'tease' for a novel or novella here. I truly believe you could do a lot with this in a bigger work Inquiring minds want to know! Keep on keeping on. I really enjoyed this short piece.

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*






*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
21
21
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I just wanted to leave you a quick note on how unique and creative your portfolio is! I have never seen one set up like this in the years I have been a member. How did you do it? Is it set up as a website? Inquiring minds want to know!

I have enjoyed my visit here, very much. Your involvement with the WDC community is so diverse and outstanding! You are such an asset to WDC and all of the community members who've lives you have touched in so many positive and uplifting ways!

Thank you, Samberine, for being perfectly you!



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
22
22
Review of Saving Maximus  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Sewcrazy Again 🤗 , Patrece here, dropping by with a Power Review of your item; "Saving Maximus.


*Paw* Initial Impression:
This is a truly heart touching and heartfelt writing. The love and caring for Maximus and his momma shines through in this piece. Additionally, if the image associated with this story is Maximus, he's a total cutie pie! It is apparent that you are trying so hard to be descriptive in the story, but you would do this more justice by using more of a "showing, not telling" approach. I'll provide you with an example or two below, of what I mean. However, this is your story, and only my opinion.

*Paw* Flow:
The flow is somewhat disrupted by the changing of tenses (past and present) on occasion.
By smoothing out the flow, you will grab and hold the attention of the reader, much more effectively. To help get the proper flow going on, you need to get everything going in the same tense, in addition to more "show" and less "tell". This does, after all, have the makings of an incredible and captivating story.

*Paw* What Works:
The love and devotion to Maximus and Belle shines through in this story. I love how you share that Belle is a pampered pooch and a beloved part of the family. It is heartwarming, that even as miserable as she must be feeling, her excitement for the children's arrival never fails to be present.
I applaud your efforts to provide the reader with as much detail as possible: the squirming pups in Mom's tummy, her enthusiasm at the kid's arrival, how Belle tries to block the streaming sun from her eyes, etc.

*Paw* Suggestions:
Click here

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
All writers have to edit their work. Usually many times, to get it just right. This really is a precious story, and with some editing, positing and dusting, it will SHINE the the beauty it is! And I think it is special enough to deserve the time and attention to get it there. Thank you for sharing your work! After you have made revisions, feel free to contact me, if you'd like me to look at it once again. If you have any questions, feel free to email me with them. I'll be glad to help out.

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*


A very tiny animated image for Power Reviewers to use




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
23
23
Review of The Stolen Child  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I must admit, I am not ordinarily one to read this type of story. But this did capture my interest, and hold it.

This story is pretty well written, but feels incomplete, to me, the reader. Is there another chapter? A continuation? Where does the alien life form take the infant, and to what means? While I really like this piece, I can't help but ask these questions.

I have found no typo's or errors that need to be draw to your attention. Only the above comments, which are yours to take or leave.

Thank you for sharing. Write on!
Patrece


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
24
24
In affiliation with Party Funds  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Please understand that this review is based on my own opinion and thoughts. Please disregard anything you do not feel works for you. {e:bigsmile)

*Paw* Why I chose to review this work:
It is my pleasure to complete this review for you, as a part of the challenge we mutually entered "I Write in 2018

*Paw* My impression of this piece:
My overall impression is that writing is a very important aspect of your life, and you intend to take it places in this new year we are embarking upon. The fact that you interpret fulfilling these goals as a responsibility to yourself, just reinforces how much truth that impression likely holds. I find your enthusiasm and aspirations for the year 2018 to be quite admirable, however, as a word of caution, unless you are at home full time, and possibly if you, you may be putting a little too much pressure on yourself. That may depend upon: the foundations you may already have in place to begin writing the three books and having them published, the skill you already possess in writing, how long the books will be, how fast you write, and other obligations you have to fulfill. But I'm my humble opinion, I like to see someone shoot for the stars, rather than sit back and lose touch with what is important to them.

*Paw* Readability:
This is quite short and easy to read and understand.

*Paw* What I really liked:
The sheer ambition that you possess in achieving your dreams and goals! I also appreciate that you are making the effort to be certain you are working toward fulfilling your goals for the WRITE *Bigsmile* reasons.

*Paw* Suggestions:
***Other than where you made the "list" The gaps in the piece are a bit large, I would suggest a single space within each paragraph and a double space between paragraphs for a cleaner, more professional look.
***In the second paragraph, last sentence, it reads: "Hopeful completed." Did you mean HOPEFULLY?
Other than these suggestions, I just encourage you to read it, read it, and read it again. Especially out loud. For some reason, this helps you identify more easily areas that can be written a bit more smoothly, or could benefit by better wording choices. Unfortunately, it is what we all must do to get a nice, polished piece!
Oh, also considering the contest you are entering this into, you may wish to expand it before the deadline. I'll tell you, that is one tough and super-competitive contest!

{e:Paw} Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
Keep up the great work and hold tight to your love of writing. You'll flourish with each passing day! Thank you for sharing this! GOOD LUCK with the contest!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
25
25
Review of It's Over!  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
Ruwth,
The dance described in this short piece, is so rhythmic and accurate. It is a dance performed far too often, by far too many. I too have danced this dance and finally found the courage to step off that "dance floor". No, it wasn't easy by any means. Unless one has been in this situation, they have no idea how hard it is on so many levels to walk away that last time.

Repetitive? How could this be anything other than that? You pegged it! The final straw for me, was when he threatened to shoot me, as he held a gun pointed in my direction. So, Kudo's to you for capturing the truth of the issue in only 55 words. Those who have been there know all too well what occurs between the lines of this piece.

I have no suggestions to improve this, as in my humble opinion, it is perfect as written! I am so happy to know that you found the strength to take that final step off that destructive and violent dance floor yourself. May your life be filled with uncounted blessings and joy.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
158 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 7 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/patrece