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380 Public Reviews Given
Review Style
***To be continued***
I'm good at...
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Favorite Genres
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Least Favorite Genres
Sci-Fi (for the most part.) ***To be continued***
Favorite Item Types
***To be continued***
Least Favorite Item Types
I am not very fond of reviewing poetry items due to my lack of knowledge concerning poetry.
I will not review...
Anything containing cruelty toward animals and children. Explicit sexual content, nor anything over GC.
Public Reviews
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1
1
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
The trinket is beautiful. But what is more beautiful than even that, are the words you included as a part of it. I learned much about the specific butterfly species, and about the beauty of YOUR heart! Thank you so much, for sharing this! I found it very touching!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
2
2
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Heart* A Paper Doll Gang Review in honor of your OPEN HOUSE! Congratulations!*Heart*


Hello, LegendaryMasK❤ I just finished reading your piece "Jack "O" Lantern Dip bowl and I wanted to offer you the following commentsand feedback.


*Paw* My impression of this piece:
*Laugh* I LOVE IT! The image that accompanies this piece gives the reader no choice but to be instantly drawn in and captured by this fun and creative project. I have no doubt that I am going to have to give this a try this coming Halloween. The only problem I see with it is that people will likely be hesitant to mess up such a fun and amusing work of art!

*Paw* Readability:
Some of the instructions are a little difficult to follow along with, as they aren't all written in a way that is completely clear to understand. While I was able to read back through them a couple of times to gain understanding, there may be people who cannot. However, this does not apply to all instructions. I will note the areas that weren't initially clear below, under the suggestions area.

*Paw* What works well / Strong points :
The humor of the project itself, as well as the humor in your statement: "yes all that oooey gooey guts." I love humor in writing! I also believe that providing step by step instructions are a wonderful highlight to this. Best of all, however, is that you also include the recipes for each dip that goes with this project, rather than leaving the reader to search for them or buy pre-made dips. Then, going the extra mile, you even give the specifics on how to set it all up! Fantastic!

*Paw* Errors noted:
***A tiny error here: "yes all that thoseoooey gooey guts."

*Paw* Suggestions:
***Just as a suggestion, it may help those planning to follow through with creating this awesome project if you were to list each ingredient on its own line, followed by a list of ancillary supplies needed, each also listed on its own line. This way, they could just print this out and have their shopping list in an organized form. However, as I said this is only a suggestion, and not doing so won't make or break this awesome project in the least.

*** Here is what I was referring to as the part of the instructions that I found a bit confusing. (Maybe it was just me?) "Take the 3 pieces on the black, stick one straight pin into the top and one on the bottom; then pin in place above the mouth area. Then glue stick the red and yellow to the black; Whatever way you want them to look."

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
All in all a wonderful item! I enjoyed it very much and will definitely be giving it a try this coming Halloween! I look forward to reading more of your work over the month of June, and into the future! Great job! I hope you have more fun and creative projects in your port!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*

Patrece

Made for me by my super awesome friend, Hannah! Thank you, Lady!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
3
3
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is so beautiful! You are too! Thank you so much for sharing this. You made my day! Just remember, you mean so much to me, and I am honored to be your friend!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
4
4
Review of An Unlikely Hero  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Heart* A Paper Doll Gang Review *Heart*


Hello, River I just finished reading your piece "An Unlikely Hero and I wanted to offer you the following comments!


*Paw* My impression of this piece:
I truly didn't know what to expect when I decided to read and review this piece. Ad now that i have, I find that I am curious to know what the prompt given for the contest was. I really enjoyed reading this piece, and must admit that it kept me engaged from beginning to end. It also occurred to me as I read this, that Gloria and Benny had been biding their time, and the incident this particular night gave them the perfect opportunity to take the next step in exploring a possible relationship.

*Paw* Readability:
This is very well written, and easy to follow and understand.

*Paw* What works well / Strong points :
You did a wonderful job with sharing this short story in a show rather than tell way. For example: She tried to forget about the pilot and her gaze settled once again on Benny. A sure sign to the reader that she is drawn to him.

I also love how Benny follows Gloria outside when she goes out to take a break and is followed by Lewis. He was insightful and protective enough to see to her safety, and for her, that was a good thing. He stepped up and protected her when otherwise, she would have been completely helpless again the drunken Lewis.

*Paw* Errors noted:
No errors noted. Great job!

*Paw* Suggestions:
I would have loved to have been able to keep reading and have seen where the night went with Gloria and Benny, but I understand that being a contest entry there were likely constraints on word count, etc. Should you ever decide to expand upon this, I'd love to see where it goes from here. Inquiring minds want to know.

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
The only thing I do have to share that doesn't quite fit here, is that when a victim or another person calls 911 for any type of violence type offense, the victim no longer has a say in whether or not charges are filed. Once the authorities are called in, it becomes the state vs the offender. So in that one aspect, there is a bit of inaccuracy.

You clearly have a wonderful talent in the world of authoring. I have truly enjoyed reading your story. Thank you for sharing your talent and creativity!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*

Patrece

Made for me by my super awesome friend, Hannah! Thank you, Lady!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
5
5
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you for sharing this most informational article. I found the comparison to be quite interesting and educational. I must agree the lines penned by Sackville Were not only flat, but also caused the reader to work a bit at reading his work. Whereas, Sidney penned an active read that was much easier to follow.

I have one suggestion / Correction for you. In one spot you refer to the name "Spencer", rather than "Sidney", whom I am fairly sure you were intending to refer to.

A great lesson on making your words count!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
6
6
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Please understand that this review is based on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.


*Heart* A Paper Doll Gang Review *Heart*


Hello, Scarecrow Patrece here. I just finished reading your piece "Puppies and Rainbows and Sunshine and I wanted to offer you the following review, as you are one of two PDG featured writers.


*Paw* My impression of this piece:
This story was a joy to read. While it starts out to be an awful day, it makes a sudden turn around to the extreme. It leaves the reader feeling happy for the main character, knowing the greatness of his day will far outlast just this single day. The content of this story did capture and hold my attention. In the beginning, I wondered how on earth the story could ever match the title. That's when it all changed! This little story brought a smile to my face, especially the part about the puppy! I got a new pup about a week ago, and they are just too cute, especially with their funny little puppy antics.

*Paw* Readability:
While this story was easy to comprehend, I do have to share that the majority of your sentences are very long. While it serves a story well to have some longer sentences, it is also good to have some shorter ones as well. When there are too many long sentences in a story, it begins to become somewhat more difficult for the reader and can interfere with the flow. I find it tends to work best to use a variety of sentence lengths and types. Don't get me wrong, however, it is a great read!

*Paw* What works well / Strong points :
I really like how you shared your characters thoughts as the story unfolded. I also got a couple of smiles and a laugh or two out of the humor woven throughout it. Especially, the "barn door" incident! *Laugh*

*Paw* Errors noted:
*** I noticed a couple of punctuation errors in this section. on the eighth.Maybe my luck is changing., I thought (There is no space after the first period and there is double punctuation after the word "changing".)
*** It seems there should be a period, rather than a comma, at the end of this. idle chit-chat about the weather,
*** Here, again, you have double punctuation. You may consider removing the comma. A puppy !,
***This portion of a very long sentence in your story would be better split into two separate sentences where indicated. rectified my "barn door" situation,(End sentence here. Capitalize the letter B in the word "but" and add a comma after "But"} but for whatever reason, our conversation

*Paw* Suggestions:
***In my humble opinion, this line would sound a little better if you changed the word 'soon" to "quick" or "fast".

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
It was a pleasure to read your work, Thank you for sharing it and your talent with me and the WDC community!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*

Patrece

Made for me by my super awesome friend, Hannah! Thank you, Lady!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
7
7
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Heart* A Paper Doll Gang ANNIVERSARY Review *Heart*


Hello, Pat ~ starting to heal Happy 10th WDC Anniversary! I just finished reading your piece "Voice for the Children and I wanted to offer you the following comments!


*Paw* My impression of this piece: As a former foster parent, I truly appreciate this candid article on one of many issues facing both the foster / adoptive family as well as the child coming into the home. Many first time foster parents or adoptive parents have no concept of how difficult the initial transition into the new home is for the child in the first place, (and will be for them as well), attachment disorder aside.

But then to have the AD thrown in to the mix is mind boggling at the very least. I knew of several foster parents that blamed themselves for being "failures" or "terrible parents" because no one prepared them for the realities of what they would likely face with the attachment disorder. When you say it is everyones responsibility to educate prospective foster / adoptive parents on this topic, I couldn't agree more. Not to do so, is to set everyone involved up for failure and to set the children up to suffer even further from this devastating affliction.

*Paw* Readability:
This is written in a way that is very clearly stated and easy to follow along and comprehend.

*Paw* What works well / Strong points :
I truly believe what works best in this article, is your open and honest approach with the reader. You provide your audience with true facts about your own personal experiences without trying to sugar-coat the truth of the matter. I feel this is important in getting across the message you are sharing and provides some true eye opening to prospective foster or adoptive parents. I applaud you for this.

*Paw* Errors noted:
*** Here, there is a tiny typo, which is easy to miss. "I wish I could think {{u}c:red}if its name." (I believe it should have been "of".)

*Paw* Suggestions:
Have you considered writing a book ( or several smaller booklets aimed at different areas) geared toward educating adoptive parents / foster parents, or those considering it? Sometimes this type of support and education is better received on a peer to peer level. You can share your ups and downs. Methods of effective assistance you were able to locate, and even offer a support group for consumers of your book(s). I'll bet it would be a HUGE hit! Heck, you might even be able to book speaking gigs at local foster and adoption agencies to offer education and personal experiences to their prospective candidates. Just think of the difference you could make in so many lives! Sorry... did I get carried away there? I just have THAT much faith in you, and was THAT inspired by your article.

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
What a remarkable woman you are to put your heart and soul into these children as you have! I truly admire you! *Hug1**hug**Hug2* Thank you for writing this and sharing it with the WDC community and me! If there had been a 4.75 stars, that's what it would have received!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*

Patrece

Made for me by my super awesome friend, Hannah! Thank you, Lady!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
8
8
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Heart* A Paper Doll Gang Review *Heart*


Hello, 🌜 Huntersmoon I just finished reading your piece "The Fading of Julia and I wanted to offer you the following comments!


*Paw* My impression of this piece:
The author of this story shares a tale of a very tender and often destructive topic that is far too common in society today. Not only among our youth, but among a large number of people of various ages, socioeconomic backgrounds, races and genders.

While you did a good job of showing how this particular "population" begins their decent into such a lifestyle, and the losses and sacrifices incurred along the way, I would have loved to have seen this explored a bit deeper. Perhaps delving into the why's of individuals choosing a path such as the main character in your story.

I also believe that while Julia's father cared a great deal for her, he was at a loss for how to truly help her through such a problematic situation, thus almost further enabling her in her path of self destruction. He obviously did everything he knew to do to try to provide her with a fresh beginning, but failed to understand that until she was truly ready for that hand-up, nothing would ever be effective in helping her to make the much needed critical changes.

Sadly, her father loved her enough, that he trusted her when she claimed that she wouldn't disappoint him if given the chance to clean up her act. Over and over again, he fell for her manipulative behaviors, because he wanted to believe the best of her. And in the end, he still held out that hope as so many parents an love ones do.

*Paw* Suggestions:
The suggestions that I have for you is to go back and to pull your paragraphs together. they are broken up and sentences are separated in the middle onto separate lines, etc. It tends to make it difficult to read smoothly when it is chopped up in this way. Perhaps if you read it over, you will notice what I am referring to.

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
Thank you for sharing such a difficult topic. As much as we may love out children or others, the best way we can help them in these situations, is with tough love. By not allowing them to continue in their self-destructive behaviors. It is so very difficult, but in the long run, it is their only chance to succeed, and our only chance to maintain our sanity, as those who love them.

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*

Patrece

Made for me by my super awesome friend, Hannah! Thank you, Lady!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
9
9
Review of Ghost Dog  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Paw*Why I chose to review this work.
I absolutely love dogs! And when I noticed this piece and ruwth 's newsfeed review challenge, I had to get in on it. Thank you for sharing your work!

*Paw* My impression of this piece:
You bring your beloved and departed canine friend to life for all to experience, in this loving tribute to his special place your heart and in your life. His playful and mischievous manner comes across clearly, and your appreciation for his special ways and how much they meant to you shine through in this lovingly drafted poem about his continued presence in your life, even after his passing. What a beautiful way to share the bond the two of you havesharied and apparently, continue to share, together.

*Paw* What I really liked:
You so an outstanding job of bringing Scooter to life in the minds eye of the reader. rather than break our hearts with the loss your encountered, you give u hope and joy in the continuing relationship between the two of you in this heart warming tale.

*Paw* Suggestions:
The only suggestion I have to offer refers to the last line in stanza four and the first line of stanza five. I'd like to suggest that you revisit these lines and make a change to one of the two, as you repeat the word "disappear" in both. While I realize it rhymes in both lines, these of the same word in two successive lines feels redundant. Surely, with your talent, you can find a way to rephrase without repeating this word two lines in a row. Aside from this, it is just lovely!

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
thank you for sharing your creative talent with the res of us here at WDC! I really enjoyed reading this beautiful piece!

A Simply Positive Group Sig For Reviewers.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
10
10
Review of Meditation  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Thank you for sharing your method of meditating and reaching that place of calm serenity. I have tried to meditate in the past, but just never seem able to achieve the mental "quiet" to go along with it. I guess I just can't figure out how to shut everything else out and just relax.

I like that you shared your personal approach to this. I hope it helps many others to achieve success in clearing the negatives out and refilling themselves with positive results.

Welcome to WDC. I hope you love it here!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
11
11
Review of Where's My Sword  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Heart* A Paper Doll Gang Review *Heart*


Hello, Dawn Embers I just finished reading your piece "Where's My Sword and I wanted to offer you the following comments!


*Paw* My initial impression of this piece:
I really enjoyed reading this charming children's story. It is clear that it is set during an earlier period of time, when farming and self sufficiency was a way of life. It teaches an enlightening lesson to the children today, on how life really used to be, back before technology and human rights, especially, women rights came into being. Based on gender, certain expectations were placed upon individuals as to what the role they were to play in life was expected. There was no real considerations for personal wishes, only the standard expectations placed upon individuals based on age and gender. While I am not sure that a child might read and really absorb the true and full lesson being shown in this, it does do a great job of conveying it. The two youngest children were lucky to have each other and to also each have their won expectations of what role they wanted to be a part of in their lives. While the father wasn't very accommodating, these siblings were close, and accepted each other for who they were. A true git that they, alone could share.

*Paw* Readability: For the most part this has a great flow and is very easy to follow along with for the chosen audience. I have a couple of suggestions that I will share below, but all in all, it is wonderful!

*Paw* What works well / Strong points :
The two youngest children, actually seemed to crave the lifestyle intended for the other, as far as their father's expectations. But they were both wise enough to understand that they each wanted was was expected of the other. It is so heart touching in the end, when these siblings trade gifts with each other, making both so much happier and fulfilled. Children today, just don't know how well they have it when it comes to having more freedom of choice.

*Paw* Suggestions: Feel free to take them, or leave them.
See suggestions here.

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
A wonderful tale, that shares the message that it is okay to want to be more than what is familial or socially expected of you, and that along the way, one will likely find another who understands this and helps them along the way. Thank you for sharing your work! And again, although I made some suggestions, they are of my opinion only, and I would never want to make you feel as if i were trying to tell your story for you. i am just trying to share a few ideas's that I thought might help the flow of the tale being spun! Write on! An keep up the great work!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*

Patrece

Made for me by my super awesome friend, Hannah! Thank you, Lady!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
12
12
Review of London Bridge  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Nice job! There were some very unexpected words to be found here! For some reason it didn't want to accept the markings for the word down, but in the end, I had it right. *Laugh* Thank you for sharing this! Good luck in the PDG Race!
13
13
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Please understand that this review is based on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.


*Heart* A Paper Doll Gang Review *Heart*


Hello, twu I just finished reading your piece "Treasure in the Morning Light and I wanted to offer you the following comments!


*Paw* My impression of this piece:
I find this to be written with great descriptive language, thus painting an image for the reader to "see" in their minds eye, as they consume your story. It is a beautiful sentiment, and takes me to the place you are, when writing it. I feel I am there beside you, for the most part.

*Paw* Readability:
I find your message easy to follow and understand, however, it would serve this piece nicely to be separated into a few different paragraphs, as I have suggested below. It gets difficult to follow along, when it is all written as one solitary paragraph, and can cause the reader to have to go back and re-read a couple of parts of it, for it to sink in.

Aside from this, it is fantastic! (As long as you are reaching out to a more intellectual audience, that is. IE: A child would not grasp many of the descriptive words used here.)

*Paw* What works well / Strong points :
It shines through, that you have put much effort into sharing this piece in a "show, not tell" way. Your words paint a vivid imagery that helps the reader to feel like they are there, along side you. Beautiful!!!

*Paw* Suggestions:
*** Here, you might wish to consider eliminating the indicated word, as it only seems to interrupt the flow you have going in this piece. "I don on some clothes..."
***In this area, it would read smoother and easier if you split this sentence into two, where indicated. (again, just suggestions to help). "...and open the door,(Period instead of comma here, beginning a new sentence at the word "the") the soft..."
*** The following, in my opinion, would make a good starting point for the second paragraph. When a written piece is one long paragraph, it makes it harder for the reader to follow along and get into the flow of the story. " I trample through the foliage, " and again, I think the following would work better as the beginning of a new paragraph. "Brushing through the trees..." And then once again, here..."Although this sequence has become a routine..." would serve better as the beginning of yet another new paragraph. By doing so, it really smooths out the process of reading it, and puts it into better perspective.

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
Thank you for sharing your work. If you have any questions, feel free to contact me. With just a touch of polishing this up, it will shine like the treasure you describe in it!
Write on!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*

Patrece

Made for me by my super awesome friend, Hannah! Thank you, Lady!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
14
14
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Dave , Patrece here, with a power raid theme sig review of your item; "Leprechauns & Rainbows.


*Paw* Initial Impression:
My pet dragon delivered me atop a vivid sparkling rainbow. I slid with breathtaking speed down from the arch and landed on a cushion of four-leaf clovers on The Emerald Isle! Catching my breath and gaining my bearings, I was able to make out the sound of two voices: one with an enchanting, male Irish lilt, the other soft, sad, and beautifully feminine; like a gentle spring breeze.

So enraptured was I, that I found myself unable to turn away from the scene unfolding in front of me. A private moment it was, yet it was clear that I was invited to share in it. So I followed along the road painted in broken hearts and dismay, and found my heart filling with hope and joy for the lass, as the two conversed. For the darkness lifted and a spectacular rainbow appeared, and onto it they veered. I knew then, all would be well. I continued to follow along, unable to disengage, and witnessed the unfolding of a beautiful love That would always be true.


*Paw* Flow:
The flow was wonderful, and engaging and held my attention well. Nicely written!

*Paw* What Works:
You created a beautiful love story in the form of a poem. And, to be honest, I rarely review poetry, as it isn't my strong suit. But you created this in a way that readers of many Genre's can thoroughly enjoy the tale!

*Paw* Suggestions:
None at all, except for maybe encouraging you to continue to spin your magical words in such a beautiful and engaging way!

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
Thank you, for sharing your work, This piece deserves the ribbon which adorns it!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*


Image #2148767 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
15
15
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Please understand that this review is based on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.


*Heart* A Paper Doll Gang Review *Heart*


Hello, VisonzOfDystopia I just finished reading your piece "A Rose In Dystopia and I wanted to offer you the following comments!


*Paw* My impression of this piece:
I rarely ever review poetry, as I rarely ever write it. But the beauty of the feelings shared here grabbed ahold of my attention and held it. In the midst of a world filled with darkness and despair, the pure inner beauty of this person shown through, and touched the writers heart and changed their world. No longer a world of bleak, hopelessness, but a splash of bright colors now painting your world. A shining, new and beautiful future rising before the author is heart touching and fills the reader with hope for the happiness filling the emotions and future of the writer. You have created a vivid image promising so much, in so few, well chosen words. Bravo!

*Paw* Readability:
I found this easy to read and to continue reading with it's heartwarming, fresh hope. The flow is fairly smooth. Just a suggestion or two will be shared with you below, that may help the flow just a bit.

*Paw* What works well / Strong points :
I believe my absolute favorite line(s) in this writing are the closing lines. They speak of a powerful change to the author's life.
"Thievery at play, usurped my heart;
embezzled like colonial gold,
hauled from the shipwreck of me."

The deep emotion with which this is written adds to the effect it has upon the reader. You have written this in a way that truly paints an image in the mind of the reader.

*Paw* Suggestions:
***In this line, I'd like to suggest the use of punctuation after the word "rose". An illustrious rose she arose from fields dystopian.
***Here, I believe you may have missed adding a "s" where indicated. She enchant(s) a soured dream,
Aside from these two suggestions, I have no others.

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
I have enjoyed reading this piece, and appreciate you sharing it with me. I hope the beauty of this fresh rose that has emerged into your life remains!


*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*

Patrece

** Image ID #1563070 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
16
16
Review of As he walks away  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello {suser:penntonic), Patrece here, with a Power Raid sig review of your item; "As he walks away.


*Paw* Initial Impression:
An imaginative and well told story, of a woman who has lived through hell and back with a man that she had once loved deeply, and whom had once returned that sentiment. Not only had she lost her only child to his careless whim, but then he went on to treat her without respect or love, and to go as far as to criticize the fact that she had yet to conceive another child. He seemingly turned his anger and self-loathing for the death of their young son onto her, in his bitterness. She was treated unjustly in so many ways. I do believe I may have been tempted to respond as she did in the end.

You wrote this in a way that engages the reader and keeps them interested enough to want to read it through until the end. Bravo!

*Paw* Flow:
The flow throughout this piece was smooth and easy to follow along for the most part. There were a couple of places there was a tiny bump in the flow, and I addressed them below. But for the most part, very good.

*Paw* What Works:
The ending! It was clear she has taken more mistreatment and inconsiderate treatment as the story unfolded. I almost expected her to run off with everything, when he was passed out in one of his drunken stupors. The ending, however, took me by surprise! Great job!

*Paw* Suggestions:
Click here for more info.

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
I do believe that this little piece could be turned into a much longer work, should you have the interest in doing so. You did a great job with it! Thank you for sharing your wonderful creative ability! Polish this up just a tad and you will have a superb piece.

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*






*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
17
17
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello {suser:xx), Patrece here, with a Power Raid sig review of your item; "Invalid Item.


*Paw* Initial Impression:
Okay, so I admit the subtitle is what drew me in! The rest kept me quite interested. I too, have been subjected to such "doctors" if you want to call them that. In reality, speaking as a Licensed Practical Nurse, and a woman with a brain in her head, that man is nothing more than an insurance abuser. It doesn't matter who was the smoker or nor, what your diet is or was, or anything else. YOU, as an individual are still entitled to competent medical care, which you did NOT receive. In your position, I believe I would have called my insurance company and informed them of the malpractice you experienced when there, then fought to get my co-pay back. There was a time when medical practitioners really gave a darned about the people they provided care to. I'm afraid those days are long gone.

*Paw* Flow:
The flow was great, and the message perfectly understandable.

*Paw* What Works:
Your honesty in conveying what you went through just to be blown off anyhow. Been there, done that. It's a shame that you went through all of that, just to go home and hav to treat your own wound. Tings like this need to be exposed and talked about. Too many people suffer from lack of competent and compassionate medical care. Heck..Just competent would be nice!

*Paw* Suggestions:
My only suggestions are to talk to your insurance company, inform them of the LACK of care you received, and also as them to advocate for you to get a refund of your co-pay, if you had one. The actions of the doctor (or actually lack there-of), does not constitute adequate medical care. You and your insurance company were both taken advantage of by this guy. I'd have been steaming hot angry too!

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
Thank you for sharing this. At least I don't feel so along in my quest for proper medical care. I'm so sorry you had to go through this. I think it is great that you grew attention to this issue, and hope you took more steps to put an end to that particular doctor practicing insurance fraud and not providing adequate patient care. *hg*

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*






*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
18
18
Review of Forgiveness  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello {suser:xx), Patrece here, with a Power Raid sig review of your item; "Invalid Item.


*Paw* Initial Impression:
Wow, it is hard to imagine finding the strength to forgive one who would take such violent actions against a child or grandchild of my own, or any other child, in fact. What a remarkable feat. I can relate to this in my own way, however, as i am a victim of several forms of child abuse. Some of it was directly administered by my mother, and some of the abuse, by those she chose to bring into our lives.

In my early twenties, with two very young children of my won, I suffered from tremendous depression. Most, stemming from my childhood and my ill feelings toward those responsible for what I'd gone through. I worked hard to heal myself from the immense pain I carried with me. In the process, I discovered a spark of pity for my mother. Had her life not been a mess of it's own, I doubt she'd have allowed or brought about what I had to live through as a youngster. I found forgiveness in my heart for her, and by doing so, it brought me a great deal of peace.

*Paw* Flow:
This has a nice, smooth flow to it, and is quite easy to follow along with and to comprehend.

*Paw* What Works:
This is such an empowering piece, that could serve as a tool for many who hold on to anger and vengeful thoughts. The character, Marietta Jaeger-Lane, has quite the strength of heart and spirit to find forgiveness for her child's' molester and murderer. You chose a wonderful pic to explore with your readers whom may be dealing with anger issues. Perhaps it will be the key for even one, to find forgiveness and the resultant peace that comes with it. However, I must honestly say, I don't think I ever could if this were done to a child I love. The emotional and mental strength of this character is outstanding.

*Paw* Suggestions:
I truly find no corrections to suggest, but I do think it would have been more enlightening to have been able to read more in-depth details on how Marietta Jaeger-Lane worked through her loss and to have experienced some of her pre-forgiveness sentiments and feeling, and to have traveled the road of coming to the point of forgiveness with her.

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
Great job! Thank you so very much for sharing your work!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*






*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
19
19
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Please understand that this review is based on my own opinion and thoughts. Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing. As requested, this review will not include (much) grammar and punctuation suggestions (if I can help it). *Laugh*

*Paw* Why I chose to review this work:
I just had to stop by for your Open House! Your portfolio looks amazing! The title of this particular story attracted my attention, therefore, I am choosing to review it. I hope you find it helpful!

*Paw* My impression of this piece:
As I read your Chapter, I must say, I like the story that it was creating and painting in my head. You have the makings of a great story here, if you only get things in the same tense. (Past or present). I truly like the beginnings of this story and can see that it has a ton of potential! I know it will be more than awesome, once it is edited and cleaned up a bit!

*Paw* Readability:
All in all it is easy to read and enjoy. It is easy to understand as well. Again, it just really needs to all be in the same tense, as it gets a little taxing on the reader to read back over some of the lines, to see if they are still in the same time frame of the telling from one paragraph to the other.

*Paw* What I really liked:
I like how you let the reader know the preference of whom Alys would like to have in her life as a partner, yet she is wiling to forgo the true desire of her heart because her social status, yet she doesn't complain. She is willing to do things as they use be done, and as is "socially" acceptable for the time period. Also , her loyalty to her father and his wishes and happiness are endearing and respectable.

*Paw* Suggestions:

Click Here

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
I really like this, and would love to see it polished up and all put in the same tense so it is more reader friendly! It has a lot of potential and is worth the effort to edit it and get it all nice and shiny! If I can be of any assistance, please let me know! Thank you for sharing your work! It has been a privilege to read it.

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
20
20
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I just wanted to leave you a quick note on how unique and creative your portfolio is! I have never seen one set up like this in the years I have been a member. How did you do it? Is it set up as a website? Inquiring minds want to know!

I have enjoyed my visit here, very much. Your involvement with the WDC community is so diverse and outstanding! You are such an asset to WDC and all of the community members who've lives you have touched in so many positive and uplifting ways!

Thank you, Samberine, for being perfectly you!



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
21
21
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hello {suser:xx), Patrece here, Group image on 'share' of your item; "Invalid Item.


*Paw* Initial Impression:
I have enjoyed reading this first segment of your short story. It is creative and intriguing, while much imagination went into it's concept. There are many takes on what the dystopian future may involve. Your take on this vastly emerging Genre doesn't seem to mimic any of the other versions I have read from other authors. Kudos on being unique in your work. When your introduction mentions a mandatory implant, I initially expected it to be a more basic tracking type microchip implant. Fooled me! *Laugh*

*Paw* Flow:
For the most part, this piece has a decent flow to it. I did note below some areas you might want to take a look at, along with some possible suggestions to help improve the flow. But all in all, it was still easy to follow and held my attention.

*Paw* What Works:
This was unexpected, and caught my funny bone! "He was tipping his hat, and wore an expression which may have been resolve, but now looked like the constipated countenance of a man who was long in dying." I love that even in such uncertain times, you were able to work in some humor.
Your unique take on the dystopian future is an enjoyable change of pace.

*Paw* Suggestions:
Click here!

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
A super-good read all in all, with huge potential! It is so worth making a few edits to make it sparkle and shine, as it will once you've given it a bit more TLC. Great job, and thank you for sharing your work and your dream with me! Let me know if I can be of further assistance or If you'd like me to look it over again once you have done the editing. Write on!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*






*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
22
22
Review of Saving Maximus  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Sew-no-more 🤗 , Patrece here, dropping by with a Power Review of your item; "Saving Maximus.


*Paw* Initial Impression:
This is a truly heart touching and heartfelt writing. The love and caring for Maximus and his momma shines through in this piece. Additionally, if the image associated with this story is Maximus, he's a total cutie pie! It is apparent that you are trying so hard to be descriptive in the story, but you would do this more justice by using more of a "showing, not telling" approach. I'll provide you with an example or two below, of what I mean. However, this is your story, and only my opinion.

*Paw* Flow:
The flow is somewhat disrupted by the changing of tenses (past and present) on occasion.
By smoothing out the flow, you will grab and hold the attention of the reader, much more effectively. To help get the proper flow going on, you need to get everything going in the same tense, in addition to more "show" and less "tell". This does, after all, have the makings of an incredible and captivating story.

*Paw* What Works:
The love and devotion to Maximus and Belle shines through in this story. I love how you share that Belle is a pampered pooch and a beloved part of the family. It is heartwarming, that even as miserable as she must be feeling, her excitement for the children's arrival never fails to be present.
I applaud your efforts to provide the reader with as much detail as possible: the squirming pups in Mom's tummy, her enthusiasm at the kid's arrival, how Belle tries to block the streaming sun from her eyes, etc.

*Paw* Suggestions:
Click here

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
All writers have to edit their work. Usually many times, to get it just right. This really is a precious story, and with some editing, positing and dusting, it will SHINE the the beauty it is! And I think it is special enough to deserve the time and attention to get it there. Thank you for sharing your work! After you have made revisions, feel free to contact me, if you'd like me to look at it once again. If you have any questions, feel free to email me with them. I'll be glad to help out.

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*


A very tiny animated image for Power Reviewers to use




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
23
23
Review of Dogged Detecting  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Please understand that this review is based on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*Paw* Why I chose to review this work:
Because you are awesome, and also are due one more review from the Muse To Muse Auction, and I decided to do the reviews for innerlight is praying

*Paw* My impression of this piece:
A very creative and unexpected finish to the prompt, especially given you had only 18 sentences with which to solve the crime. I love it!

*Paw* Readability:
This is extremely well written and easy to understand, with a great flow.

*Paw* What I really liked:
I really like that you took the extra time and effort to include the image of the troublesome twosome and a link for more information on the weapon. This adds to the appeal of the fictional piece.

*Paw* Suggestions:
The only suggestion I have is that when it came to a couple of items, such as the weapon, that you might provide just a touch more imagery in the wording when the gun was discussed.

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
This is an excellent piece and thank you so very much for sharing your wonderful writing talent with all of us here on WDC!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
24
24
Review of Light-Paths  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This truly isn't a proper review, but all I can say right now is...Beautiful! Oh, can I relate. My own mother took her life at the age of 57. Only 2 1/2 months prior to my first grandchild being born. That precious first grandchild had to be transported via flight for life to a neo-natal ICU, where I sat at her bedside, most often holding and loving on her, for eight days! On day eight, in the later afternoon, she had surgery and then on day nine sent home.

The entire time, I was so angry with my mother for have chosen to take her life and in the end make her final example of how she would NEVER be there for me...ever. I am so thankful I was strong. Stronger than her, and have chosen to always provide my own children and grandchildren with a much finer example of what love really is. No, I don't resonate perfection, but I always give my best!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
25
25
Review of The Stolen Child  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I must admit, I am not ordinarily one to read this type of story. But this did capture my interest, and hold it.

This story is pretty well written, but feels incomplete, to me, the reader. Is there another chapter? A continuation? Where does the alien life form take the infant, and to what means? While I really like this piece, I can't help but ask these questions.

I have found no typo's or errors that need to be draw to your attention. Only the above comments, which are yours to take or leave.

Thank you for sharing. Write on!
Patrece


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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