Patrece ~'s (patrece) Reviews

Patrece ~

Review Requests: OFF

413 Public Reviews Given

414 Total Reviews Given

Review Style

***To be continued***

I'm good at...

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Favorite Genres

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Least Favorite Genres

Sci-Fi (for the most part.) ***To be continued***

Favorite Item Types

***To be continued***

Least Favorite Item Types

I am not very fond of reviewing poetry items due to my lack of knowledge concerning poetry.

I will not review...

Anything containing cruelty toward animals and children. Explicit sexual content, nor anything over GC.

126

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3930023

Review of Dog Gone (1st/2nd Place)

Review by Patrece ~

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Welcome to WdC Power Reviewer's December Sleigh-Raid

Why I chose this piece to review: If it has to do with dogs, I'm there! Couldn't help myself!

Emotion: Okay .. so it's not really funny, but doggone it, it really is funny! I can imagine your fear when this giant dog is ready to show you who is boss. I can imagine the blush on your face, when your wife catches you in the act of donning a pair of panties! Nothing like being victimized twice!

Overall Impression: Wonderfully written and never a lack of humor in this. Great job! I can see why it has placed you in two contests! Keep em coming! Thanks for sharing & have a happy holiday season.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

127

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14 days may be credited.

#3930014

Review of In the Woods

Review by Patrece ~

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (3.0)

Welcome to WdC Power Reviewer's December Sleigh-Raid

Please understand that this review is based only on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

Initial Impression:
A very imaginative piece! With a bit of polishing up it will be a wonderful read, not that it isn't pretty good as it stands...

Flow:
This story has a fairly good flow to it, but it could flow just a bit better with some minor editing.

Emotion:
First, as a reader I could feel the tension between the couple. It wasn't long though, until fear took over.

Suggestions:
a few suggestions to help it flow smoother and read better:
*"It was already dark enough he was having trouble distinguishing..." Consider inserting the word "that" in between the words "enough" and "he".
*"but he had the impression he eyes never strayed..." I think your meant "her" not "he"?
*When talking about the smell, you used the word twice very close together. Maybe consider changing the second time it was used to another descriptive, meaning the same thing, like Odor perhaps?
*when you write " Jennifer also moved the beam of the flashlight from the tire to the edge of the forest." The word "also" doesn't really seem to belong there.
*Where you said "That was enough" I suggest finding a more powerful statement for that, in the midst of all the excitement, it seems bland!

Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
All in all I think you have a great story in the makings here. as I said, just a touch of editing and polishing and you will have a great read on your hands with this one! Keep up the excellent work!
Happy Holidays!

Just do the next WRITE thing!

My review has been submitted to"The Newbie Academy Review Contest CLOSED"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

128

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14 days may be credited.

#3929961

Review of Foreshadowed Regret

Review by Patrece ~

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Welcome to WdC Power Reviewer's December Sleigh-Raid

Please understand that this review is based only on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

Why I chose to review this work:
I Love to read Anne Rice! Your reference to her made me have to do this!

Initial Impression:
A concise, yet well written poem about regrets.

Flow:
Very smooth and clean flow

Emotion:
Oh, how I can so relate to what you have shared in this poem. I often believe the same of myself. BUT I find it a little sad, as it seems you are regretting that you will forever allow yourself to be bound in responsibility or even habit, and may not allow yourself to evolve as I KNOW you can!

Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
You have this one life, don't let anything rob you of your dreams. If you must, just pursue them a bit slower than you'd like! This is one gift you can only give to yourself. Happy Holidays!

Just do the next WRITE thing!

My review has been submitted to"The Newbie Academy Review Contest CLOSED"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

129

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3929936

Review of Grand & Epic Adventures

for entry "Chapter One - The Taniwha"

Review by Patrece ~

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Welcome to WdC Power Reviewer's December Sleigh-Raid

Hello from Patrece with Simply Positive Reviews & The Power Review Group!!!

Please understand that this review is based only on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

Why I chose to review this work:
Well, Elf Elle, first of all, because it was done by YOU! Second it was posted in the store as needing to be fulfilled, and third, because it is Power Review raid! Okay, so the title and description may have influenced me a bit too!

Initial Impression:
What can I say? WOW! This is probably the absolute best piece I have read thus far on this site. Creative, imaginative, playful, exciting... I want more! lol.

Flow:
Purr-fect! Not once did I encounter anything that disrupted the lovely smooth and natural flow of this writing!

Emotion:
I felt like I was right there with the kids and their silly pup! You put me right there in it!

Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
Make this a full blown book lady! It has so much to offer! What a neat concept of writing a story about writing a story, that puts the fictional writer exactly where he writes himself (and others) into it! So clever! I thoroughly enjoyed this story! Never give up the pure talent you are blessed with!

Just do the next WRITE thing!

My review has been submitted to"The Newbie Academy Review Contest CLOSED"

130

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3929917

Review of On the Chance

Review by Patrece ~

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Welcome to WdC Power Reviewer's December Sleigh-Raid

Please understand that this review is based only on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

Initial Impression:
A touching story of an unjustly forbidden love that tugs at the heart strings.

Flow:
Beautifully written with nice descriptive wording that puts the reader right there. Flows very nicely!

Emotion:
Pain, hope, anticipation, fear of rejection, and regret. These are some of the various emotions I perceived affecting the charaters in this story, which were captured by your words in a marvelously heart warming way.

Suggestions:
The only thing I really find here to make suggestions on are early on in the story when you are writing about why Carlie denied the invitations by friends to travel home with them for the holiday. You wrote "holding onto hope Mark would come." It may flow a bit better to add "that" to the line. Ex:holding onto hope that Mark would come. Or maybe even something like "Clinging to the hope of Marks arrival"

Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
Awesome short story! thank you for sharing your talent! Happy Holidays!

Just do the next WRITE thing!

My review has been submitted to"The Newbie Academy Review Contest CLOSED"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

131

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3929822

Review of Crushes

Review by Patrece ~

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (3.0)

Welcome to WdC Power Reviewer's December Sleigh-Raid

Hello from Patrece with Simply Positive Reviews!!!

Please understand that this review is based only on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

Why I chose to review this work:
I chose your work to review, because it just touched a place in my heart. Maybe brought back some old feelings of mine as well. I almost did not review this, because it is so close to your heart, and I don't like to suggest changes to work coming from such deep emotion. BUT I decided to go forward with it, because it is important enough to you, to put it into words, and I'd love to try to help you make it read a little smoother, if you'd like to.

Initial Impression:
Your heart has been broken by a person that you felt meant everything to you. I got the feeling you had to let out the emotion somewhere, and this was your avenue with which to do so.

Flow:
In the first few lines, the flow of rhyming words was very good. Toward the end, it became hard to read it in a smooth flowing way, as a poem should.

Emotion:
I could not only feel your pain, but I could relate to it as well. My heart goes out to you.

Suggestions:
Following line 8, the flow broke up. I am thinking more and more emotion from you was coming out, and you sort of lost the rhythm of it. Also, punctuation is needed at the end of each line, be it a comma or a period, which ever applies. Look at possibly rephrasing some of the latter lines to express your ideas, while allowing the flow to come back to life in this piece.

Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
A very deep and heartfelt piece. Go back over it. It will glitter and shine and allow it to have the impact upon the reader, that I know it has upon you. Keep up the great work, and never give up! Happy Holidays!

Just do the next WRITE thing!

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

132

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3928719

Review of I Am Not a Hero

Review by Patrece ~

In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group

Rated: ASR

| (4.5)

Hello from Patrece with Simply Positive Reviews!!!

Please understand that this review is based only on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

Why I chose to review this work:
I chose this piece because the title caught my attention. A very modest statement, the title is, while hinting at something more important, for this disclaimer to be chosen as the title.

Initial Impression:
I have to compliment you on your writing of this piece. It is clear that much work has gone into it's construction. It was effective at grabbing my attention, and holding it, throughout the story.

Flow: For the most part the flow of this work is outstanding. There are a couple of places where I feel the wording could be changed , by only a word or two, and improve the flow a bit further. (I will give examples of this below in the "Suggestions" area.)

Emotion:
It is very difficult not to like the main character almost immediately, as he is so modest, and it is evident that his concern over not being who the others think he is, distresses him tremendously. He clearly wants to produce what is expected of him, but does not believe the power is within him, yet does his best to come through. He tries to fake his way through arising situations, but is always honest with himself in the long run, even if he almost believes his own misleading behaviors. He suffers with regret.

Suggestions:
There are a couple of areas where I thought a word or two could be changed to make the reading of this flow better.
*The Orness showed me the ancient scripts. Maybe consider changing the word "showed" (The Orness shared with me, the ancient scripts.)?
*While his brothers would be training me... Perhaps restating the 'would be' part. (were busy)?

Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
AWESOME! You already have a fan in this reviewer! Great storyline, and wonderful presentation!

Just do the next WRITE thing!

My review has been submitted to"The Newbie Academy Review Contest CLOSED"
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

133

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3927806

Review of The Garden Catastrophe

Review by Patrece ~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (3.5)

Initial Impression
A very playful and cute poem which I did enjoy, as I love to tend to a garden of my own. I did enjoy reading this poem.

Suggestions
For the most part this flowed nicely, but there were a couple of lines that seemed like they could use an extra word in them to keep the rhythm going in a smoothly readable way.

Overall Impression
A light-hearted and fun read. You certainly are a rising star! Keep up the good work!

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

134

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3926781

Review of How I sprouted wings

Review by Patrece ~

Rated: 18+

| (3.0)

I have enjoyed reading your short story. See below, my review of it. These are only suggestions, and you are free to take them or leave them! None intended to be discouraging, just intended to help you make the most of this short piece.

Overall Impression
Very creative writing! it was interesting and easy to follow! The poor lass was doomed to a life with someone she did not care to be with. When offered her choice of gift, she made a choice she felt would help her escape the situation. She did wish she had been a bit more specific in her "wish", but it still served her needs, just not as she had anticipated, exactly.

Suggestions
Just a few of things I noticed that you may want to take a look at.
* In the first sentence, after the fourth word (wings)...I think a comma may need to be there.
*In paragraph 11, the last word should be appeared not appear.
*In the last line, there may need to be a comma after the words Lake Mist.
*Just a few more details on the girl and the prince, to make the characters come a bit more alive to the reader would be desirable.

General Comments
A very cute and entertaining story line! I would enjoy seeing it expanded to a full story if that is in your plans for the future. You have a unique story and that is a wonderful thing! keep up the great imaginative work!

135

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14 days may be credited.

#3926311

Review of Setting Your Review Filters

Review by Patrece ~

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Overall impression

Typically when I do a review, I break it down into several areas. But due to the subject, length and clarity of this writing, it would not be practical for me to do so.

This is a very clearly written piece, it is super easy to follow and provides the reader with specific how-to information they would be seeking in reading it. I know for new users here, it is a gem of a piece. It simplifies what took me 30 minutes to sort through on my own when I first started here just a couple of weeks ago! You do not cloud the tutorial with unneeded extras that would only serve to distract the reader. GREAT JOB!

Patrece
"Just do the next WRITE thing!"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

136

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3925813

Review of Chapter Three: Undecided

Review by Patrece ~

In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous

Rated: E

| (4.5)

WOWWWWW. This is extremely powerful, and well written! I found myself disappointed when it ended so quickly. Keep on keeping on with this.
As far as constructive criticism, I truly can't find anything about it which I would suggest changing at this point, except for one little spot where I thought may a comma could have been used, but then I could be wrong. (He visited villages(,) along with my mother(,) and passed out food and other rations to those hungry for more than just the Word.)

I really need to learn a little html to set things off.

Anyhow, I think this is awesome, and look very forward to reading more very soon!

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .