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380 Public Reviews Given
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Sci-Fi (for the most part.) ***To be continued***
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I am not very fond of reviewing poetry items due to my lack of knowledge concerning poetry.
I will not review...
Anything containing cruelty toward animals and children. Explicit sexual content, nor anything over GC.
Public Reviews
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126
126
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*



Please understand that this review is based only on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*Paw* Why I chose to review this work:
A welcome to WDC review for you.

*Paw* Initial Impression:
Very nice descriptive wording when discussing the condo message from her mother. I get a feeling that this is a teenaged girl, who isn't initially happy with having to go live with her mother, but perhaps it will all turn out for the best.

*Paw* Flow:
The flow is fairly good. (See suggestions below)

*Paw* What Works:
The description of the condo could make a gal want to move in to it herself. The background on why the girl is moving.

*Paw* Suggestions:
*Flagr* When i asked her why... (The I needs to be capitalized.)
*Flagr* she said: "I want my little baby to feel comfortable... (You may want to check to see if the colon you used should be a semicolon or simply a comma.)
*Flagr* my old place was a wreck i mean like... (Again, i needs to be capitalized. Also consider placing a comma after the word wreck.)
*Flagr* mum isnt much better... ( The M in Mum needs to be capitalized, and isn't needs an apostrophe 'isn't')
*Flagr* Ummm he wasnt there a second ago. (It could use punctuation after the word Ummm, also wasn't should be 'wasn't)

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
All in all a very nice start to your story! Just a bit of editing and polishing will have it reading smoother and with a better flow. Thanks for sharing your talent! Welcome to WDC.

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
127
127
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A very informative piece, that was well written and a pleasure to read. This goes to show that one can learn something new each and every day.

It is obvious that a lot of research went into this piece, given all of the background information that one would rarely possess knowledge of.

Thank you for sharing this. I am afraid I have no constructive suggestions to give you for this piece, but then, that's not a bad thing, is it?

Happy Holidays!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
128
128
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*



Please understand that this review is based only on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*Paw* Why I chose to review this work:
I read and reviewed #2, so thought I'd take a peek at #1 to see what I missed!

*Paw* Flow:
A very nice flow, with only one area I found that disrupts it just a bit. I will point this out in a moment.

*Paw* What Works:
The creativity of the writing, and the depth of thought the young girl has is impressive.

*Paw* Suggestions:
This is where I sense a couple of slight bumps in the flow as I read:
1) This area: I don't really know when it began... it must have been quite a while now, for I felt very comfortable with it in my life. My parents, however, don't find it quite as pleasing. It scares them. They are scared of me. I do, however, remember the first time it happened. This almost seems contradictory. (See the two highlighted areas)
2) It scares them. They are scared of me. (Maybe combine the sentences and change the word scared to afraid, as you had just previously used a close form of the same word.

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
Great job! I hope you continue on with this story, as it is very good! Thanks you for sharing your talent and creativity!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
129
129
Review of Into The Leaves  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*



Please understand that this review is based only on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*Paw* Why I chose to review this work:
A review to welcome you to WDC!

*Paw* Initial Impression:
A creative tale with several twists and turns that are unexpected.
*Paw* Flow:
This piece has a fairly good flow. (see suggestions below)

*Paw* What Works:
The creativity and imagination put into this writing.

*Paw* Suggestions:
Click here for suggestions

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
This is a creative and cute tale! With a bit of editing and rewording here and there, I believe it will read nicely and do the creativity of the story justice. Of course my suggestions are just that, so take or leave whatever you feel may be of use to you! This is your baby! Thank you for sharing and welcome to WDC!


*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
130
130
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*



Please understand that this review is based only on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*Paw* Why I chose to review this work:
A welcome to WDC review for you!

*Paw* Flow:
This story has a good flow to it.

*Paw* What Works:
For a young girl, she has incredible insight into the fears (or lack thereof)of others, human or not. She is gifted with something most aren't, which stirs fear in the hearts and souls of her parents, yet nothing indicates she wishes to do any harm with her gift. Still, her parents live in fear of it. She is left feeling vulnerable, as to what will become of her, yet handles it gracefully.

*Paw* Suggestions:
The formatting of the writing needs to be cleaned up just a tad. Consistent spacing between paragraphs is where I noticed this.

help-she Spaces should be placed between the words and the hyphen I believe. Or maybe just a comma here.

A slight error here: "Gregomer, she could hurt people.Besides, what would people say?" (a space is needed between the period and the first letter of the next sentence.

each-other (Is the hyphen needed here? There are two instances of this in the story.)

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
A well written piece with wonderful descriptive wording. Very creative and an enjoyable read. Thank you for sharing your talent!


*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
131
131
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
I don't usually do reviews on poetry because poetry isn't my strongest point, but the title pulled me in!

You do an excellent job of conveying your feelings on our current president. No doubt is left in the readers mind as to how you view his performance while in office. I am not one to argue religion or politics, but I will share that I am none too pleased either.

The rhyming of words at the end of each line is fairly consistent, But not completely. Although fairly similar sounding a couple of lines have words that don't rhyme. The syllable count is also not consistent, so it detracts just a bit from the flow of the piece, however, you found very creative wording in your attempt to rhyme, and some of those words are very powerful.

Keep up the good work. Thank you for sharing your talent!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
132
132
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Please understand that this review is based only on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*Paw* Why I chose to review this work:
I read part one and two, and wanted to continue on to see how the story unfolds further.

*Paw* Flow:
Once again, a very good flow to the story.

*Paw* What Works:
I really do like the way you convey "grief" as an entity that is caring and attentive to Katy in her time of sorrow and loss. A very unique viewpoint that I have enjoyed reading.

*Paw* Suggestions:
I would have liked to have seen a little more description on how Katy and Alain were feeling and thinking as they were leaving the OB unit, seeing the mothers and baby's and expectant mothers waiting to give birth. While perhaps at this point the parents may be feeling a bit numb, it seems like more internal conflict would be present.

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
A very well written piece. I found no errors to point out. I would love to see this expanded upon yet again! If you do decide to go back and add or change anything, I'd love to know about it so I can read it once again.

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
133
133
Review of The Cramps (2)  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Please understand that this review is based only on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*Paw* Why I chose to review this work:
I read the first part, which compelled me to read this follow up.

*Paw* Flow:
Again, as with part one, this piece was nicely written and has a great flow to it, aside from one very small thing. I will point this out in a moment.

*Paw* What Works:
A very appropriate follow up to part one.

*Paw* Suggestions:

*Paw* The following sentence just reads a little strange to me, however, it could just be how I am reading it. Grief remembered thinking to himself that she was eccentric but exceptionally organizing the chaos that was the attempt to stop premature labor. The bolded, underlind area is where it just doesn't sound quite right to me. Maybe consider something like (was exceptional at organizing).

*Paw* While this expresses some grief and pain, the reactions and dialogue don't seem adequately expressed in such a heartbreaking moment.

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
Still Very well written and kept my interest. I look forward to reading part three. Thank you for sharing your creativity and your wonderful writing skills!


*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
134
134
Review of The Collapse (1)  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Please understand that this review is based only on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*Paw* Initial Impression:
Wow! This is a well written piece that tugs at the heart strings with almost every line. So sad, especially reading it as a person who has had 2 children and has 3 grandchildren with another on the way. The reality of the piece is very comprehensible.

*Paw* Flow:
This story has a very good flow, and is easy to read and stay with.

*Paw* What Works:
The opening grabs the reader and keeps them reading. The raw honesty of emotion works well, but I especially like how when Katy came out of the bathroom "Grief" was there to introduce himself in a most caring way. A very creative twist I wasn't expecting.

*Paw* Suggestions:
The formatting of this piece could use a little touching up. Spaces between paragraphs are inconsistent and some spacing is way to long.

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
A wonderfully written piece. As sad as it is, I find that I want to go on to read the follow up to it. (See there, a reader hooked!)*Smile*


*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
135
135
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Please understand that this review is based only on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*Paw* Why I chose to review this work:
I read part one and wanted to see where it all leads.

*Paw* Initial Impression:
Ru is gearing up to FINALLY meet his love face to face. He is hopeful, yet realistic in understanding it may not happen.

*Paw* Flow:
Very good flow for the most part. A couple of places that need a quick fix, but I will hit on those under the suggestions area.

*Paw* What Works:
I LOVE the image that is created for the reader, on the meeting place. It sounds perfect for this meeting long awaited. I also really appreciate the enduring love of Ru, and his willingness to take yet another risk, for the one he loves so dearly.

*Paw* Suggestions:
Suggestions offered - click on this link to view

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
Even though there were a few errors, this was still a great follow-up to Chapter 1, and was actually even more enjoyable to read. I am anxious to read chapter 3! I do hope to see it soon. *Smile*


*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
136
136
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)

Please understand that this review is based only on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.


*Paw* Initial Impression:
Wow! A very unique read. I really enjoyed reading this, even though it isn't a typical kind of writing style, at least not anything I am used to.

*Paw* Flow:
This story has a nice flow, and kept me reading.
*Paw* What Works:
The way it is written is different, yet has a quality to it that keeps the reader curious.

*Paw* Suggestions:
Ru seemed almost too willing to admit to the long remaining love and open up to Myra so completely again, so easily. It would serve the reader well to hear more dialogue when the call is in progress 10 years later. Maybe some reason given for her suddenly shutting him out of her life back then, and what is different now.

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
A good story, just needs a little more info for the reader to understand how easily forgiven Myra was, or why Ru did not approach it with more caution this time around. BUT that said, I enjoyed it and all and all it was a great read. Keep up the heartfelt writing.

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
137
137
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*



Please understand that this review is based only on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*Paw* Why I chose to review this work:
I love the title. It drew me in and made me want to read it.

*Paw* Initial Impression:
A very touching story of faith and believing in the guidance of the Lord.

*Paw* Flow:
This story had a fairly good flow to it. There are a few places that might flow a bit better if reworded slightly, but they do not take away from the writing very much.

*Paw* What Works:
The perseverance of the woman to investigate the voice she heard. This probably saved the boys life. Also the message of faith that is shared is very poignant.

*Paw* Suggestions:
*Lightning* The following sentence would read smoother and better if split into two sentences: I turned and walked to the end of the row to look toward our front porch; and to my amazement, no one was at the porch or anywhere in view.
*Lightning* In this one, I believe a comma would work better than a semicolon: As I took off running toward him, wanting to catch him before he could get near the intersection; I yelled “you stop now!”
*Lightning* There are a couple of other sentences that could benefit from being worded with stronger descriptive words, while using fewer words. Maybe just read it over out loud to yourself. This is when you may notice the little areas I am referring to. This Is what helps me locate things in my own writing.

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
A very inspiring piece, that was a pleasure to read. Thank you for sharing! With just a tad bit of editing it will be smooth and strong!


*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*



138
138
Review of A Writer's Helper  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*



Please understand that this review is based only on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*Paw* Why I chose to review this work:
A welcome review from me to you.

*Paw* Initial Impression:
A very interesting view of the secret life of a writers tools. Very imaginative!

*Paw* What Works:
This little piece makes one look at the writers tools as having a life of their own, once the writer is away from them.

*Paw* Suggestions:
There are a couple of places where there seems to be typo-s
*Paw* This sentence: She makes a noise in the back of her throat, one that I do not understand, but love despite it. (love what? Her? The noise? This is unclear to me as the reader.)
*Paw* This one: Sometimes, the margins will even make way for the sticky notes—I feat all on its own, I swear. (Did you mean "a" feat?
*Paw* Then this: The pen is snuggled deep between page one hundred and thirteen of the new novel. (You say between but only mention one page number.)

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
A fun imagery. With just a few edits, it will read better. Thanks for sharing your creativity!


*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
139
139
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Newbies Academy Reviewing Sig1


Please understand that this review is based only on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.


*Paw* Initial Impression:
A wonderful use of the prompt. I am sure this one took a bit of work to pin down!

*Paw* Flow / Suggestions or thoughts:
The flow is fairly good, however, personally, I think the phrase "She has been so good this year" has been used just a bit to much. It becomes a little redundant. To me this took away from an otherwise very cute story crafted from a challenging prompt. I noticed a few places where punctuation is missing, where it could have been used to make it flow better as well.

*Paw* What Works:
It is a really cute story idea, that I know you had to come up with quickly, so on this point, I think you did an awesome job with this! I especially LOVE how at the end, you gave the perspective of another little girl that had been good all year, and she is just as pleased (if not more so) with her Christmas morning, as the child that received everything she wanted.

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
Thank you for sharing your creativity and ability to spontaneously create this little piece! I really enjoyed it! Happy Holidays!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*


*Candycaneg**Candycaner* This is a Festive review from "The Newbies Academy Group*Candycaneg**Candycaner*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
140
140
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Newbies Academy Reviewing Sig1


Please understand that this review is based only on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*Paw* Initial Impression:
This sounds as if it could be an awesome song, unfortunately, I wasn't able to access the recording, so my curiosity of how it was set to music or a tune, cannot be satiated.

*Paw* Flow:
As I read through the lyrics, I guess I tended to adopt my own tune for it, and by doing so, it sounded very nice, and flowed well. When I read it, it had a most pleasant message, but I tended to want to read it as a poem, so that's when I found a little tune of my own to put to it. That made a big difference!

*Paw* What Works:
The messages being shared in this piece are kindness and morals. I love that!

*Paw* Suggestions:
I think this would have a greater impact, if you would allow those who find this piece, hear it, as you recorded it. While I found a way to set it to my own little tune, I think the impact would have been much greater, had I been able to hear it as YOU intended it to sound.

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
Again, lovely lyrics! A good read, but would have loved to have "heard" it. Keep on expressing yourself, in whatever form works best for you! That is where your person writing magic is embodied!~


*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*


*Candycaneg**Candycaner* This is a Festive review from "The Newbies Academy Group*Candycaneg**Candycaner*

141
141
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Newbies Academy Reviewing Sig1


Please understand that this review is based only on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*Paw* Why I chose to review this work:
Tis the season for raid reviews! I found your title inviting, so I chose it to read and review.

*Paw* Initial Impression:
A touching and heartwarming tale of a girl that wanted to gift her hardworking and loving mother with a special gift.

*Paw* What Works:
I really like the way the reader is almost convinced of the shop owners almost scrooge-like personality, because the girl mistakenly made assumptions about her. Then in the end, not only was the shop keeper not a scrooge, but a kindhearted and caring person. I also loved that the young lady had the decency to go back in to return the piece, not realizing the woman intentionally placed it in her pocket. She was certain the woman would think badly of her, but she faced her fear to do the right thing.

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
A very nicely written story, with wonderful values and messages delivered throughout. It gave a lesson on love, compassion, faith, and not passing judgment unfairly. It was an absolute pleasure to read! The only suggestion I have is based on advice given to me on a piece I once wrote. I was advised to always spell out numbers in a story. I can't claim to know that this is a hard and fast rule, but just thought I'd throw it out to you. (And I cannot locate anything else to make a suggestion on, as it is such a wonderfully crafted piece!)
Merry Christmas!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*


*Candycaneg**Candycaner* This is a Festive review from "The Newbies Academy Group*Candycaneg**Candycaner*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
142
142
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Newbies Academy Reviewing Sig1


Please understand that this review is based only on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*Paw* Why I chose to review this work:
Tis time for the Christmas review raid from the newbies academy! Your piece is one I chose to review!
*Paw* Initial Impression:
A very cute and entertaining piece, which I really enjoyed reading!

*Paw* Flow:
A fairly good flow. Just a couple of little spots that didn't seem to go quite as smooth as the rest, but still very enjoyable!

*Paw* What Works:
I enjoyed the humor of the piece. This time of year can be very stressful for most of us, so being able to enjoy a bit of seasonal humor is wonderful!

*Paw* Suggestions:
Just a couple small areas that the flow wasn't quite as smooth as the rest of the piece. Mostly near the mid section of the poem. May I suggest you read it out loud to yourself? This often helps me locate the areas that don't flow quite right in my writing.

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
Super cute and entertaining! Thank you for sharing this! Merry Christmas!
*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*


*Candycaneg**Candycaner* This is a Festive review from "The Newbies Academy Group*Candycaneg**Candycaner*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
143
143
Review of Broken Promises  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*



Please understand that this review is based only on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.


*Paw* Initial Impression:
A mother and her young daughter are on the road, headed for home on Christmas eve. The young girl is very concerned Santa will not be able to find her if they do not make it home this night. meanwhile, her mother is hurting inside at all that has transpired for them in the past few months, and doesn't want to let her young daughter down. The weather is not conducive to travel, and they may have to stay at a motel, but the mother assures her little girl that Santa will not forget her.
A sad, yet heartwarming story.

*Paw* Flow:
The flow of this story is fair. Bit it has all the potential in the world to become a really awesome piece that is easy to read, and flows super smooth. Just needs a bit of editing and polishing up.

*Paw* What Works:
You did a wonderful job of capturing the emotions of the characters, especially the young daughter. *Smile*

*Paw* Suggestions:
If it is your intention to polish this up and make it shine, just go back through it line by line and try to use fewer words in some sentences, yet powerful words. I also think you should consider expanding it!

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
A very sad, sweet, heart touching tale. Thank you for sharing it. keep up the great work! Happy Holidays and welcome to WDC


*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
144
144
Review of Who's Out There?  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*



Please understand that this review is based only on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*Paw* Why I chose to review this work:
You had me with the title and description!


*Paw* Initial Impression:
An interesting tale of an experience, that not everyone will have in their time here on earth.

*Paw* Flow:
this had a fairly good flow, but if you were writing for a publication or a novel, then maybe a bit of re-wording would be advisable.

*Paw* What Works:
I enjoyed the matter of fact conversational tone of this story. It just worked well for you in this piece. There were some parts that painted a very clear image of what was happening at the moment. The kind and caring nature of the man (you?) came across loud and clear.

*Paw* Suggestions:
You may consider tightening up the phrasing, and using more of a "tell don't show" approach. I noticed as well a typo in this piece. I do apologize, but I am unable to pin point it again at this time.

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
An interesting tale, that is intriguing and friendly in it's delivery. Thank you for sharing! I did in deed read to the end! Welcome to WDC!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*



145
145
Review of Jump  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*



Please understand that this review is based only on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*Paw* Why I chose to review this work:
As a welcome courtesy to the WDC community!


*Paw* Initial Impression:
It is very brief, but very intense. Great job with that!

*Paw* Flow:
A good flow that is easy to follow and keeps the reader interested.

*Paw* What Works:
The imagery conjured up by the very nice selection of descriptive wording.

*Paw* Suggestions:
It is a bit short, but I see it is for a contest, and is likely why. Perhaps a word count limit I am guessing? The only real suggestion I have on this, as it is well written, is to take a look at this: " waters crash against the towering cliff that I unfortunately happen to be standing on." Maybe consider a comma after cliff and chance the word "that" to which. I think that sentence would just flow a bit better that way. But it is your baby! And even how it is, it reads very nicely.


*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
A very nice read, which hooks the reader. GREAT job! Best of luck in the contest and welcome to WDC!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
146
146
Review of The Unwanted  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*



Please understand that this review is based only on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*Paw* Why I chose to review this work:
I am a huge lover of dogs, and the title and image really caught my eye. I also thought it would be nice to give a welcome review to you.

*Paw* Initial Impression:
A nicely written piece, about a subject near and dear to my own heart. It shares a message that needs to get out there! I appreciate the story, as I too find it a heart wrenching subject. I actually have my own piece on WDC about a dog shelter and what unfolded there on my first day volunteering. So, I especially appreciated this piece.

*Paw* Flow:
This story has a great flow for the most part. It is easy to read, and conveys your message clearly.

*Paw* What Works:
I really love the way much of this is written from the dogs perspective. People tend to forget that these devoted and special animals have feelings and thoughts too.

*Paw* Suggestions:
There are a couple of type-o's.
         *PawPrints* This sentence has a misspelling: " He yanked the lease forcing Storm out of the car.
         *PawPrints* Startup should be start up
         *PawPrints* As does this one: "This guy would be uthanized by next Thursday," Should be euthanized
         *PawPrints* "shepard" Should be Shepherd

Aside from the misspellings, the only other thing I might suggest is that you try to use more economy of wording, but choosing very descriptive powerful words in place of the 3 or 4 words previously used. (This is something I still get dinged on sometimes in reviews of my work too!) It's just a matter of some basic editing.

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:

A very insightful and good story! With just a little editing, it will shine! Keep up the great work. Thank you for sharing, and welcome to WDC!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
147
147
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
*PAW*Hello from Patrece with Simply Positive Reviews & WDC Power Reviewers Group. Thank you for sharing your work with me.*PAW*


Please understand that this review is based only on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*Paw* Why I chose to review this work:
I noticed a request for a review, asking for honest feedback and thoughts. I thought I'd take a peek. Thank you for asking, and for sharing this work.

*Paw* Initial Impression:
It has a couple of great messages to share with children. I find myself wondering as I read it, what age group this story is intended for? If I knew this, it would help me give a better review, as different age groups read and comprehend at different levels.

*Paw* Flow:
The flow isn't bad, but could use some smoothing out. I will make some suggestions on this below.

*Paw* What Works:
There are several components of this story that work great. I think my favorite however, is the very end where Andrew says; "I don't work to pay my family's bills," he said to Max, "but I work when I want something that I can't buy." This is a wonderful way to end the story! I like the way Andrew knew they could not afford new colored pencils for the contest and instead of giving up, he found a way to get through that hurdle. I liked that the teacher was able to convey to the child that had stolen the pencils, that it was known, and by doing so disqualified himself from the contest. Yet this was done in a way that did not humiliate him in front of the others. Excellent methods!

*Paw* Suggestions:
In an effort to keep my few suggestions neat, organized and easy to follow, I have created a dropnote list for you. Simply click on the "suggestions" link below to view it.

Suggestions

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
A great story, with some great messages! It shares the idea of "where there is a will, there is a way", it shares that going about things in an unacceptable way is wrong, and will result in punishment and disappointment, It teaches integrity and teaches a lesson on earning the things one wants or needs. A definite keeper! With a bit of editing and polishing this story will SHINE!


*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*



My review has been submitted to"The Newbie Academy Review Contest CLOSED


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
148
148
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
*PAW*Hello from Patrece with Simply Positive Reviews and WDC Power Reviewers!!!*PAW*


Please understand that this review is based only on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*PawPrints*Why I chose to review this work:
It sports a cute, catchy title.


*PawPrints*Initial Impression:
The character must have felt quite alone, based on this story. Caused me to wonder why there was an absence of relationship between her and her family. This struck me as a "revisiting" of a lonesome childhood. I wondered if possibly the character returned to this place to find some kind of closure.

*PawPrints*Flow:
In the beginning this story had a good flow, but as it went on, it became harder to follow clearly.

*PawPrints*Emotion:
I sensed (as stated above)a feeling of loneliness within the girl. She was creative in finding ways to occupy her time.

*PawPrints*Suggestions:
There are a couple of areas in which this could flow smoother, if it were rephrased just a bit, such as this one:"The path from the front of the small brown shingled house, continued to the side, then led to the back of the house." Consider ways to shorten and strengthen the sentence. (The path originating from... wrapped around to the side, leading to the back yard.) This isn't a perfect example, but I thought I'd throw it out there to you as an idea. Another that could use rephrasing: "Outside is where she was comfortable."(She was comfortable when outdoors.)The other little thing is you have a space in front of an ending quotation mark. ("1515 1/2 Third Street. "As the address) just need to scoot the little guy over next to the period, then put your space in. *Smile*

*PawPrints*Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
This is a good story, with a very personal message being shared. I really enjoyed where you wrote of her gathering fruit while trying to avoid the spiders!*Shock* With just a bit of editing and polishing, it will shine like a jewel! Keep up the great work. I enjoyed reading this. Thank you for sharing.*BigSmile*
Happy Holidays!


*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*




My review has been submitted to"The Newbie Academy Review Contest CLOSED
149
149
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: 18+ | (2.5)
*PAW*Hello from Patrece with Simply Positive Reviews!!!*PAW*


Please understand that this review is based only on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*PawPrints*Why I chose to review this work:
I saw your request for open and honest comments / feedback. The title grabbed me as well, because I myself did not have the most pleasant childhood.


*PawPrints*Initial Impression:
Wow!*Cry* I have to say that this story just breaks my heart into a million tiny pieces! I think it is wonderful that you are writing this out. It may serve to be a form of healing for you, to some degree at least. My heart goes out to all of these tortured souls, but especially to you.

*PawPrints*Flow:
In all honesty, the flow needs quite a bit of work. With edits, some re-wording and a bit of polishing, this can be achieved. (I will share some suggestions shortly). I personally believe this writing is worthy of the effort it will take to get it polished up. Consider this your rough draft, once edited, it will shine!

*PawPrints*Emotion:
This writing is packed with emotional punches! Especially the latter part (to me anyhow) where you were forced to choose who you loved more, and to have to prove it in such a way that resulted in extreme cruelty to not only the dog, but to you! While my childhood was pretty messed up, I was never forced to do such painful and self damaging acts, thank goodness. I can only begin to imagine your pain. I felt such extreme sorrow, sadness and pain in your experiences. It made me want to just reach out to comfort you and help you heal. This is one of those writings, that I am sure will remain with me, as the reader for a very long time, if not eternally.

*PawPrints*Suggestions:
I have several suggestions I would like to share. To make it more organized, I've arranged them in a dropnote list for you. Click the link below, and you will be able to view them. I sincerely hope you find my suggestions to be of value to you. If at any time you would like to talk to me about any of it, do not hesitate to contact me! While I am not the most accomplished writer, I truly believe I can share some helpful ideas.
Suggestions to assist you


*PawPrints*Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
Please know that when I rated this as I did, it had nothing to do with the content. It was based on the above information I shared in the suggestion area. I fully encourage you to keep at this, and shine it up and expand upon it. I think it is truly a writing that will be vital to your personal healing process, and something others need to read. Many think they have it hard...few realize how others have it harder. I am here if you ever want to bounce around thoughts or ideas. Thank you for sharing, what had to be a very difficult subject and childhood for you.


*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*



My review has been submitted to"The Newbie Academy Review Contest CLOSED


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
150
150
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is an absolutely beautiful sig that you have created Warrior Mom! As the snow covers the ground and we are lucky to see temperatures rise above the teens, it is warming to the heart and soul to see such a lovely splash of summer upon this sig creation!
Gabriella has been greatly blessed by this most beautiful gift you have bestowed upon her.

Perhaps imagining is your calling! Great work on this. Anyone would be proud to display this!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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