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Review Requests: OFF
380 Public Reviews Given
Review Style
***To be continued***
I'm good at...
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Favorite Genres
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Least Favorite Genres
Sci-Fi (for the most part.) ***To be continued***
Favorite Item Types
***To be continued***
Least Favorite Item Types
I am not very fond of reviewing poetry items due to my lack of knowledge concerning poetry.
I will not review...
Anything containing cruelty toward animals and children. Explicit sexual content, nor anything over GC.
Public Reviews
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151
151
Review of Scars  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Much nicer flow! Almost there! Work it! Polish it.
One thing I do is read my writing aloud and if it doesn't sound right somewhere, that's usually how and when I catch it!
152
152
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Please understand that this review is based only on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*PawPrints*Why I chose to review this work:
The title appealed to me and I am on a review raid!


*PawPrints*Initial Impression:
This is a very intriguing and captivating story! great job! Thank you for sharing it.

*PawPrints*Flow:
This has a wonderful flow! It is an easy and enjoyable read!

*PawPrints*Emotion:
As the reader, I could Feel what is what like to be in this characters position. I could feel the hope when the link finally gave way. Then the pain at the sudden discovery of the loss of a friend and co-worker. Then to look into a face that you thought was only your own... WOW!

*PawPrints*Suggestions:
I'm sorry, but this is written so wonderfully, I can't even begin to make any suggestions other than: WRITE MORE!!!!!!!!!!

*PawPrints*Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
A wonderfully crafted, unique tale, that kep my interest throughout! Great job! Keep it up! You are an inspiration!


*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*



My review has been submitted to"The Newbie Academy Review Contest CLOSED


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
153
153
Review of Skin and Bones  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (1.0)
Hello! I was on a Review raid and ran across this story title, but there's not much here to read!
What you do have so far sounds awesome, keep up the great work, and I look forward to reading this when there is more posted to it. The beginning makes one curious for sure!
I would love it if you let me know when this story is complete, so I can read it!
Happy Holidays to you!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
154
154
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Xmastree* *Candycaner* *Stockingb* *Xmastree* *Candycaneg* *Stockingr* *Xmastree* *Candycaner* *Stockingb* *Xmastree* *Candycaner* *Stockingb*Welcome to WdC Power Reviewer's December Sleigh-Raid *Xmastree* *Candycaneg* *Stockingb*



Please understand that this review is based only on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*PawPrints*Why I chose to review this work:
It is Power Review Raid, and I found this in the "Read a Newbie" section


*PawPrints*Initial Impression:
A neat little story! Sounds like saving the puppy brought the character lots of good Karma!

*PawPrints*Flow:
This story has a nice flow to it and is a pleasure to read. There are just a couple of long sentences that seem like they may read easier if separated into two separate ones. Such as this one: The buildings are quaint and rustic, and so far I’ve counted three antique shops, a hardware store, a flower shop, and a drug store. (Maybe a period after Rustic, then begin a second sentence?) There are a couple of other very long sentences as well, that you may want to look at.

*PawPrints*Emotion:
I like the way you call your server "Blue bandana guy" kind of a cute expression! I find the characters very likeable.

*PawPrints*Suggestions:
Maybe just tighten up a few sentences, and always remember the show don't tell aspect of writing. You did a pretty good job with that!

*PawPrints*Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
It was a pleasure to read this story. Keep up the great work.


*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*



My review has been submitted to"The Newbie Academy Review Contest CLOSED


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
155
155
Review of Scars  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
*PAW*Hello from Patrece with Simply Positive Reviews & Power Reviewers Group!!!*PAW*


Please understand that this review is based only on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*PawPrints*Why I chose to review this work:
You very kindly asked me to.


*PawPrints*Initial Impression:
The person in this poem is in an incredible amount of pain. Feeling invisible and ignored by some, and possibly treated badly by others. She demands to be heard as she tries to make them understand the effect they have not only on her, but on others who share in her pain.

*PawPrints*Flow:
This has a fairly good flow to it. A few lines could use an extra word to help complete the flow. More on this later in this review. This piece is much too powerful to allow anything to take away from the flow of it.

*PawPrints*Emotion:
The characters pain is abundantly evident throughout this poem. Yet while she hurts so badly, she understands she is not the only one experiencing this kind of pain. A very heartfelt piece!

*PawPrints*Suggestions:
Suggested revisions

*PawPrints*Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
A message here, that is important to share! I know so many people who have been right where "she" is, and if this writing can open the eyes, of even one of those "stone hearts" then you have changed a life with this piece of work!
Very impressed that you have shared this!


*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*



My review has been submitted to"The Newbie Academy Review Contest CLOSED


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
156
156
Review of Lost Girl  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Xmastree* *Candycaner* *Stockingb* *Xmastree* *Candycaneg* *Stockingr* *Xmastree* *Candycaner* *Stockingb* *Xmastree* *Candycaner* *Stockingb*Welcome to WdC Power Reviewer's December Sleigh-Raid *Xmastree* *Candycaneg* *Stockingb*


Please understand that this review is based only on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*PawPrints*Why I chose to review this work:
The title drew me in!


*PawPrints*Initial Impression:
Very well written, and keeps the interest of the reader.

*PawPrints*Flow:
Excellent flow. A nicely written piece that is a pleasure to read.

*PawPrints*Emotion:
I can strongly sense the frustration of the investigator as he tries to get the "Lost Girl" to talk to him. I also felt what must have been nothing short of shock, when she realizes her true identity is discovered.

*PawPrints*Suggestions:
The only area I noticed that may need an edit is where you wrote: " ...abrasive décor designed specifically to prevent a suspect drifting off into a psychological void;..." (did you intend to put the word "from" in the sentence, between suspect and drifting?)

*PawPrints*Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
Very well written, and makes me want to read the rest of the novel *hint hint...
Keep up the excellent writing! Love it! Happy Holidays!


*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*



My review has been submitted to"The Newbie Academy Review Contest CLOSED


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
157
157
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Xmastree* *Candycaner* *Stockingb* *Xmastree* *Candycaneg* *Stockingr* *Xmastree* *Candycaner* *Stockingb* *Xmastree* *Candycaner* *Stockingb*Welcome to WdC Power Reviewer's December Sleigh-Raid *Xmastree* *Candycaneg* *Stockingb*


Why I chose this piece to review: If it has to do with dogs, I'm there! Couldn't help myself!

Emotion: Okay .. so it's not really funny, but doggone it, it really is funny! I can imagine your fear when this giant dog is ready to show you who is boss. I can imagine the blush on your face, when your wife catches you in the act of donning a pair of panties! Nothing like being victimized twice! *BigSmile*

Overall Impression: Wonderfully written and never a lack of humor in this. Great job! I can see why it has placed you in two contests! Keep em coming! Thanks for sharing & have a happy holiday season.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
158
158
Review of In the Woods  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
*Xmastree* *Candycaner* *Stockingb* *Xmastree* *Candycaneg* *Stockingr* *Xmastree* *Candycaner* *Stockingb* *Xmastree* *Candycaner* *Stockingb*Welcome to WdC Power Reviewer's December Sleigh-Raid *Xmastree* *Candycaneg* *Stockingb*


Please understand that this review is based only on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*PawPrints*Initial Impression:
A very imaginative piece! With a bit of polishing up it will be a wonderful read, not that it isn't pretty good as it stands...*Wink*

*PawPrints*Flow:
This story has a fairly good flow to it, but it could flow just a bit better with some minor editing.

*PawPrints*Emotion:
First, as a reader I could feel the tension between the couple. It wasn't long though, until fear took over.

*PawPrints*Suggestions:
a few suggestions to help it flow smoother and read better:
*"It was already dark enough he was having trouble distinguishing..." Consider inserting the word "that" in between the words "enough" and "he".
*"but he had the impression he eyes never strayed..." I think your meant "her" not "he"?
*When talking about the smell, you used the word twice very close together. Maybe consider changing the second time it was used to another descriptive, meaning the same thing, like Odor perhaps?
*when you write " Jennifer also moved the beam of the flashlight from the tire to the edge of the forest." The word "also" doesn't really seem to belong there.
*Where you said "That was enough" I suggest finding a more powerful statement for that, in the midst of all the excitement, it seems bland!

*PawPrints*Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
All in all I think you have a great story in the makings here. as I said, just a touch of editing and polishing and you will have a great read on your hands with this one! Keep up the excellent work!
Happy Holidays!


*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*


My review has been submitted to"The Newbie Academy Review Contest CLOSED


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
159
159
Review of Down At The Local  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Please understand that this review is based only on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*PawPrints*Why I chose to review this work:
A little elf told me about this one, and I read it, and just had to do a review! I figured, why not? It is Review raid weekend after all! *Smile*


*PawPrints*Initial Impression:
The brave gal in this story took a chance, and complied with the bidding of a text message that was quite threatening. Someone, somewhere, was looking out for her!

*PawPrints*Flow:
A wonderful flow to this writing piece. I must admit I am not surprised, after reading other work of yours *Wink*

*PawPrints*Emotion:
Curiosity gripped me as I wondered, along with the character, where this "person" was that was to meet her. When I read the last paragraphs, it gave me goose bumps! That is a rarity with me! So kudos to you on that!

*PawPrints*Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
Nicely written and very down to earth. Something a person could really believe would happen in todays world. While I will hand it to you that you have grown as a writer in the last year, this is still a beautiful work of art!


*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*


My review has been submitted to"The Newbie Academy Review Contest CLOSED


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
160
160
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Xmastree* *Candycaner* *Stockingb* *Xmastree* *Candycaneg* *Stockingr* *Xmastree* *Candycaner* *Stockingb* *Xmastree* *Candycaner* *Stockingb*Welcome to WdC Power Reviewer's December Sleigh-Raid *Xmastree* *Candycaneg* *Stockingb*



Please understand that this review is based only on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*PawPrints*Why I chose to review this work:
I Love to read Anne Rice! Your reference to her made me have to do this!


*PawPrints*Initial Impression:
A concise, yet well written poem about regrets.

*PawPrints*Flow:
Very smooth and clean flow

*PawPrints*Emotion:
Oh, how I can so relate to what you have shared in this poem. I often believe the same of myself. BUT I find it a little sad, as it seems you are regretting that you will forever allow yourself to be bound in responsibility or even habit, and may not allow yourself to evolve as I KNOW you can!

*PawPrints*Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
You have this one life, don't let anything rob you of your dreams. If you must, just pursue them a bit slower than you'd like! This is one gift you can only give to yourself. Happy Holidays!


*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*



My review has been submitted to"The Newbie Academy Review Contest CLOSED


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
161
161
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Xmastree* *Candycaner* *Stockingb* *Xmastree* *Candycaneg* *Stockingr* *Xmastree* *Candycaner* *Stockingb* *Xmastree* *Candycaner* *Stockingb*Welcome to WdC Power Reviewer's December Sleigh-Raid *Xmastree* *Candycaneg* *Stockingb*




*PAW*Hello from Patrece with Simply Positive Reviews & The Power Review Group!!!*PAW*



Please understand that this review is based only on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*PawPrints*Why I chose to review this work:
Well, Elf Elle, first of all, because it was done by YOU! Second it was posted in the store as needing to be fulfilled, and third, because it is Power Review raid! Okay, so the title and description may have influenced me a bit too!


*PawPrints*Initial Impression:
What can I say? WOW! This is probably the absolute best piece I have read thus far on this site. Creative, imaginative, playful, exciting... I want more! lol.

*PawPrints*Flow:
Purr-fect! Not once did I encounter anything that disrupted the lovely smooth and natural flow of this writing!

*PawPrints*Emotion:
I felt like I was right there with the kids and their silly pup! You put me right there in it!

*PawPrints*Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
Make this a full blown book lady! It has so much to offer! What a neat concept of writing a story about writing a story, that puts the fictional writer exactly where he writes himself (and others) into it! So clever! I thoroughly enjoyed this story! Never give up the pure talent you are blessed with!


*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*


My review has been submitted to"The Newbie Academy Review Contest CLOSED
162
162
Review of On the Chance  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Xmastree* *Candycaner* *Stockingb* *Xmastree* *Candycaneg* *Stockingr* *Xmastree* *Candycaner* *Stockingb* *Xmastree* *Candycaner* *Stockingb*Welcome to WdC Power Reviewer's December Sleigh-Raid *Xmastree* *Candycaneg* *Stockingb*



Please understand that this review is based only on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.


*PawPrints*Initial Impression:
A touching story of an unjustly forbidden love that tugs at the heart strings.

*PawPrints*Flow:
Beautifully written with nice descriptive wording that puts the reader right there. Flows very nicely!

*PawPrints*Emotion:
Pain, hope, anticipation, fear of rejection, and regret. These are some of the various emotions I perceived affecting the charaters in this story, which were captured by your words in a marvelously heart warming way.

*PawPrints*Suggestions:
The only thing I really find here to make suggestions on are early on in the story when you are writing about why Carlie denied the invitations by friends to travel home with them for the holiday. You wrote "holding onto hope Mark would come." It may flow a bit better to add "that" to the line. Ex:holding onto hope that Mark would come. Or maybe even something like "Clinging to the hope of Marks arrival"

*PawPrints*Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
Awesome short story! thank you for sharing your talent! Happy Holidays!


*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*



My review has been submitted to"The Newbie Academy Review Contest CLOSED


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
163
163
Review of Crushes  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
*Xmastree* *Candycaner* *Stockingb* *Xmastree* *Candycaneg* *Stockingr* *Xmastree* *Candycaner* *Stockingb* *Xmastree* *Candycaner* *Stockingb*Welcome to WdC Power Reviewer's December Sleigh-Raid *Xmastree* *Candycaneg* *Stockingb*




*PAW*Hello from Patrece with Simply Positive Reviews!!!*PAW*


Please understand that this review is based only on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*PawPrints*Why I chose to review this work:
I chose your work to review, because it just touched a place in my heart. Maybe brought back some old feelings of mine as well. I almost did not review this, because it is so close to your heart, and I don't like to suggest changes to work coming from such deep emotion. BUT I decided to go forward with it, because it is important enough to you, to put it into words, and I'd love to try to help you make it read a little smoother, if you'd like to.


*PawPrints*Initial Impression:
Your heart has been broken by a person that you felt meant everything to you. I got the feeling you had to let out the emotion somewhere, and this was your avenue with which to do so.*Sad*

*PawPrints*Flow:
In the first few lines, the flow of rhyming words was very good. Toward the end, it became hard to read it in a smooth flowing way, as a poem should.

*PawPrints*Emotion:
I could not only feel your pain, but I could relate to it as well. My heart goes out to you.

*PawPrints*Suggestions:
Following line 8, the flow broke up. I am thinking more and more emotion from you was coming out, and you sort of lost the rhythm of it. Also, punctuation is needed at the end of each line, be it a comma or a period, which ever applies. Look at possibly rephrasing some of the latter lines to express your ideas, while allowing the flow to come back to life in this piece.

*PawPrints*Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
A very deep and heartfelt piece. Go back over it. It will glitter and shine and allow it to have the impact upon the reader, that I know it has upon you. Keep up the great work, and never give up! Happy Holidays!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
164
164
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Initial Impression
A very playful and cute poem which I did enjoy, as I love to tend to a garden of my own. I did enjoy reading this poem.

Suggestions
For the most part this flowed nicely, but there were a couple of lines that seemed like they could use an extra word in them to keep the rhythm going in a smoothly readable way.

Overall Impression
A light-hearted and fun read. You certainly are a rising star! Keep up the good work!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
165
165
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
I have enjoyed reading your short story. See below, my review of it. These are only suggestions, and you are free to take them or leave them! None intended to be discouraging, just intended to help you make the most of this short piece.

Overall Impression
Very creative writing! it was interesting and easy to follow! The poor lass was doomed to a life with someone she did not care to be with. When offered her choice of gift, she made a choice she felt would help her escape the situation. She did wish she had been a bit more specific in her "wish", but it still served her needs, just not as she had anticipated, exactly.

Suggestions
Just a few of things I noticed that you may want to take a look at.
* In the first sentence, after the fourth word (wings)...I think a comma may need to be there.
*In paragraph 11, the last word should be appeared not appear.
*In the last line, there may need to be a comma after the words Lake Mist.
*Just a few more details on the girl and the prince, to make the characters come a bit more alive to the reader would be desirable.

General Comments
A very cute and entertaining story line! I would enjoy seeing it expanded to a full story if that is in your plans for the future. You have a unique story and that is a wonderful thing! keep up the great imaginative work!
166
166
Rated: E | (5.0)
Overall impression

Typically when I do a review, I break it down into several areas. But due to the subject, length and clarity of this writing, it would not be practical for me to do so.

This is a very clearly written piece, it is super easy to follow and provides the reader with specific how-to information they would be seeking in reading it. I know for new users here, it is a gem of a piece. It simplifies what took me 30 minutes to sort through on my own when I first started here just a couple of weeks ago! You do not cloud the tutorial with unneeded extras that would only serve to distract the reader. GREAT JOB!

Patrece
"Just do the next WRITE thing!"


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
167
167
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: E | (4.5)
WOWWWWW. This is extremely powerful, and well written! I found myself disappointed when it ended so quickly. Keep on keeping on with this.
As far as constructive criticism, I truly can't find anything about it which I would suggest changing at this point, except for one little spot where I thought may a comma could have been used, but then I could be wrong. (He visited villages(,) along with my mother(,) and passed out food and other rations to those hungry for more than just the Word.)

I really need to learn a little html to set things off.

Anyhow, I think this is awesome, and look very forward to reading more very soon!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
168
168
Rated: E | (4.5)
I had seem a writing contest for little lambs, but cannot find it again now. Can anyone help me locate it please???!!! Thank you!
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