A great poem that's a tribute to Bob Dylan's life and music. The poem begins in a coffee shop where Dylan first started to play folk songs. This was his life before fame.
Then the author talks about his talent, his hair, and Dylan as a legend of poetry and song, singing of good times and bad times, and how he will not be forgotten. The author talks of his popularity enduring over time.
A blank verse poem about seeing Bob Dylan on Bleaker Street. He is dressed in a leather jacket and the weather is misting. Dylan blends into the background of dirty streets and misty streets. He slips into the 90s train of thought, but he is still found on Bleaker Street with the mist and the dirty back street.
Good story about Bob Dylan being on tour and just wanting to go home. He's on an airplane having a conversation with a man in a suit. Forget about the tour. He just wants to go home.
This is absolutely believable. Tours can last for many months. and the excitement of the tour would begin to fade after a long period of time.
You start by calling "home" as an emotion as well as a space.
You have a run-on sentence.
"But let me guess. You roam around everywhere. When you want to relieve (sp) yourself or go where you find comfort, where do you go?"
Bad form to start a sentence with a conjunction--"And" is not necessary.
I like the perspective of home finding you.
You have a feeling of "what would the world be without home and the people we feel to be home?"
"We have also connected with them mentally, physically, and emotionally as well as many other ways."
I didn't understand the final part.
"They are words to me. We are concerned about them because they are special to us."
My suggestions are not meant to change your meaning. They are things you would have found if you wrote a second draft. I like what you have to say.
You end with a great image of the world spinning around. The pressure of the movement would seem to throw individuals away from each other. Instead, it combines the two to be even closer and more together in a big universe.
Short but to the point. Sometimes people are overwhelmed by their thoughts, and the continuous cycle of those thoughts in their heads is too much to deal with. The only relief of these thoughts is sleep, putting the body and mind in a peaceful rest.
A well-structured story about the repercussions of reading a book with a warning.
The appearance and reappearance of the dark shadow lead to the feeling of sleepiness throughout the story.
The end of the story wraps up the story with an ending befitting the spooky tale.
An amusing tale of a person who doesn't want to drive, but is forced into it by the necessity of driving in order to get a job and be able to leave his parents' abode. The problems that plague him are familiar to all drivers who may have another way of dealing with this driver's frustration. You give good examples of how this driver deals with his frustration.
Good set of negative reactions to the life of just another day. Falling back to sleep after a small battle with the speaking alarm clock is undoubtedly a situation the reader can relate to.
I like that you wait till the end to tell what kind of job he has. The examples of the problems he goes through explain the frustration of a job he wants to quit. Whether he quits or not is left to the reader's imagination.
I've recently been diagnosed with Parkinson's and have heard that relief can come from implant brain surgery. That makes the piece very real to me. I like that the implant is referred to as a network.
Great description of the characters in this item. Focusing on the odors each of
them emits gives a glue to this item. The odors are described with detail.
The tone is very formal until the end. it is unexpected and gives a humorous end to a seriously toned story.
there is only one item I would bring up. According to the grammar rules, when you are talking about something that is contrary to fact, use "were." This is an old rule that people don't usually follow.
This is a great ode to a beautiful sunset. The painted colors bring a visual image to mind. the unique vision of patterns in the sky paints a glorious picture.
The moment the sun sets behind the earth is a perfect end to the sunset, which will never come again in its special and unique form.
Nic e story with suspense. The view from the eyes of the main character gives direct information about what is happening. As the clown juggles his items for the onlookers, the main character is concerned about the clown juggling a real live frog. The climax is when the main character reaches for the frog to save him, and when she discovers that the frog is a realistic-looking frog of plastic.
The action of juggling goes on during the main character's activity, giving a glue throughout the story. The fact that she doesn't like clowns lends a conflict to the story.
Great job. I like your use of assimilations at several points in the story. You add a melodic feel to your fiction.
The tale kept me reading to the end. You have a well-structured and interesting tale. I appreciate your use of bitch--the perfect term for her. I would have expected a male dog. Your early description as a member of a gang gives a great visual image as well as a hint of the humor to come.
I really like this short poem. Because I lived by the beach in Corpus Christi, I am familiar with the treasures the tide can leave behind. I like your use of mercurial. It gives the surf a texture and aura to it. Most sand dollars are sun-bleached, and this is an excellent and familiar image with which to end your poem.
I hope you have reached your goal of publication. You set out your goals clearly, and you detail the way you will know that you have reached your goal.
This is a well-structured item. Every sentence relates to your main point.
I really enjoyed your poem. You deal with the entire by dealing with the different parts of the picture. I like your use of color from the gold to the black. I like your use of perspective.
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