*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/patricktj
Review Requests: ON
24 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Fairport
Rated: E | (4.0)
It's refreshing to know that there are young Americans who acknowledge the importance of our flag and the sacrifice it represents. Thank you for this honoring piece.
2
2
Review of Fever and Cage  
Review by Fairport
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I have no idea how to write poetry like this. This is wonderful. The poem is so different from what I'm used to reading, I'm not sure how to review it. Really nice!
3
3
Review of The Journey  
Review by Fairport
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi,
I enjoyed reading this. There was a dream-like flow and feel to it. Good job at creating the sense that a significant amount of time had passed between each lost soul's arrival to the island. You achieved this without spelling it out, which is always a better way of doing things in my opinion. Also, it is my guess that all were already dead but stuck on the island in some "limbo" prior to a final destination. Again, nice job not dumbing it down for your reader. My only suggestion is in the paragraph starting with "Ignoring her complaints..." I know the groups must have swam to each boat, but it almost seems - by the wording, that they walked to the boats. Maybe that is your intent, not sure. Anyway, really nice job. Thanks



4
4
Review of Jo-Jo the Clown  
Review by Fairport
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This was very creepy and imaginative. The flow of the story went without a hitch. Kids can be cruel, but I guess Joey taught these ones a lesson. The black balloons with the gas were really something. If you haven't read Poe's Hop - Frog, I think you might like it.

There was one sentence where you used the word "it" 4 times: The inside of it so dark it seemed she could plunge her hand right into it as if it were a window looking out into a deep lake of night. Was this intentional?

The ending was superb. Nice job!
5
5
Review of The Bitter Rose  
Review by Fairport
Rated: E | (4.5)
Nicely done. This has a good traditional sound, and the flow of the poem is very good. There's a sense of death and rebirth, which I always enjoy in writing. There's something about the use of sadness leading up to new hope. I find this usage can really encapsulate life. There's beautiful imagery here, and your choice of words are compelling. Thanks for sharing this.
6
6
Review of Nowhere  
Review by Fairport
Rated: E | (4.5)
Nice job in describing an unshakable love. I like how the trials are looked upon as opportunities to overcome painful circumstances and demonstrate commitment. This really helps communicate this person’s willingness to loving, regardless of how he or she is treated. Very nice writing. Also, it's great how you placed the last word.
7
7
Review of Ghost of Me  
Review by Fairport
Rated: E | (4.5)
You know...this is really good. I love the cadence -it flows very nicely. The way you've phrased each stanza aids to the whole ghost sense. Life's seemingly circular flow: snapshots of another time and the continuity of life’s experiences...it’s here. This is very well done.
8
8
Review of Who was Jesus?  
Review by Fairport
Rated: E | (4.0)
Jesus, God in the flesh is what I've chosen. I believe there is more than enough evidence to backup the claimes that Jesus made about himself: The eye witness accounts, complete changes in disciple's behaviors and the courage to die for something, that, if were not true (Jesus rising from the dead) they would have known it.This is plenty for me. Through out history, there have been many that were willing to die for something they believe in, but how many were willing to die for something they knew to be a lie? If Jesus did not rise from the dead, as the disciples claimed, they all (exept John and Judus) were willing to die for something that they knew was false. This is not very likely considering that they all ran away when Jesus was first arrested. God Bless, and thank you
8 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/patricktj