me, she - me; she

Defiantly I - Defiantly, I

natural, your - natural; your

a part with - a party with

got, that - got? That

will," Mother - will." Mother

doubt asking - doubt, asking

peace but - peace, but

"I mean - new paragraph

do, the - do; the

moving, my - moving. My

cake, his - cake. His

hand and - hand, and

else something - else, something

gay, were - gay. Were

eyes I - eyes, I

you but - you, but

eyes each - eyed each

moments and - moments, and

Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" !

humanity determined - humanity, determined

Foundation Square - more detail of what this is

wouldn't, we - wouldn't; we

Freedom...in - Freedom . . . in

Statue and - Statue, and

heart I - heart, I

me looking - me, looking

moment I - moment, I

existence...” - existence. . . .”

flag I - flag, I

world.”, I - world.” I

Tower, “Those - Tower. “Those

obedience to to a - obedience to a

resistance, and - no comma

obstacle we - obstacle, we

Cheering - cheering

time, the - time. The

us, we - us; we

of annoyed and angry - of annoyance and anger

see I - see, I

However I - However, I

disperse and - disperse, and

harmed, we - harmed; we

wrists and - wrists, and

then I - then, I

Rebellion, however this - Rebellion; however, this

The crowd - new paragraph

I stood - new paragraph

unmoved and suddenly the - unmoved, and suddenly, the

instant I - instant, I

as I watched the towering - as I towering

fall to - fell to

SyCon and - SyCon, and

Kyra cam - Kyra came

eyes and - eyes, and

up, we - up; we

Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" !

This site may be of interest.

http://teacherweb.com/CT/scottsridgems/Jennes/punc...

cave enthusiastically, followed - cave, enthusiastically, followed

Nisha, “We - Nisha, “we

reluctantly, “Don’t - reluctantly, “don’t

to happen” - to happen.”

Ariel “I - Ariel. “I

nature and - nature, and

She fell - "She fell - ( see # 11) http://teacherweb.com/CT/scottsridgems/Jennes/punc...

They watched - "They watched

winds and - winds, and

the cave...” - the cave....”

ahead…” - ahead….”

ahead…” - ahead….”

cave…” - cave….”

After a - "After a

Ramona came - "Ramona came

She suddenly - "She suddenly

People found - "People found

“No, till date, - “No, to this day,

evidence” said - evidence,” said

Ariel, “Thus, - Ariel. “Thus, - or - Ariel, “thus,

In addition - "In addition

“the-the - “The-the

“Its so - “It's so

windy, I - windy; I

together in the in the - together in the

the rest - The rest

hope now”. - hope now.”

Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" !

There are many sentences that start on one line and then continue on a different line.

move and - move, and

arrived she - arrived, she

downloaded her - downloaded, her

did with  - did with. . . .

love, her - love; her

Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" !

well, good - well as good

word for - word, for

never seen - ever seen

He asked. - he asked.

back and - back, and

He yelled. - he yelled.

death and - death, and

You can guess the - The - addressing the reader is not necessary.

empty and - empty, and

cyan hues - cyan eyes

around and - around, and

to get rid him - to rid him

And so on for an entire week. And each night the - And each night for the next week, the

the Princess's murderer, - this is not needed

night it - night, it

barricaded and - barricaded, and

whitered palm. - withered palm

Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" !

A couple of sites you may find of interest.

http://www.grammarbook.com/punctuation/quotes.asp
http://teacherweb.com/CT/scottsridgems/Jennes/punc...

ankle and - ankle, and

car!" He - car!" he

She couldn't - new paragraph

The look - By the look

face could - face, she could

you." She - you," she

car and - car, and

"Shhh." He - "Shhh," he

nostrils and - nostrils, and

breathing for - breathing, for

quarter back - quarterback

details and - details, and

quiet and - quiet, and

now... - now....

breaths, she - breaths; she

Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" !

me, I - me; I

spins, I - spins. I

eyes.. oh my.. he’s - eyes . . . oh my . . . he’s

smile, it’s - smile; it’s

day, he - day; he

confident and - confident, and

today and - today, and

escape, the - escape; the

myself “what - myself, “What

watch and - watch, and

face and - face, and

He asked. - he asked.

“No” I replied, “We - “No,” I replied, “we - this is a new paragraph.

Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" !

There are places where the dialogue needed to be separated by the speaker.
http://teacherweb.com/CT/scottsridgems/Jennes/punc...

air and urge - air, and the urge

I’d be - I’d be - italics works well for internal thought.

“Ma’am, you're - new paragraph

“Ah, thank - new paragraph

clouds the - clouds, the

wheels and - wheels, and

dignity and - dignity, and

sunshine they - sunshine, they

like its - like it's

Louis Onten - new paragraph

earth, at first I didn't - earth. At first, I didn't

“You’re mother - new paragraph

hotel and - hotel, and

floor holds - floor held

crowd Shira - crowd, Shira

moved passed - moved past

of tourist - of tourists

bunch, the - bunch; the

alone” good - alone.”

“7 o’clock - new paragraph

internship and - internship, and

Cleaning up - new paragraph

The ceremony - new paragraph

seat they - seat, they

silence, Shira - silence. Shira

Loft slide - Loft slid

Shira assessed - new paragraph

Shira sighed - new paragraph

reputations and - reputations, and

bought, “don’t - bought, “Don’t

Ignoring his - new paragraph

Hondal and - Hondal, and

me and - me, and

internship, because - no comma

level and - level, and

Janda and - Janda, and

time Shira - time, Shira

bone and - bone, and

she tries - she tried

her, “Loft we - her. “Loft, we

want and if your - want, and if you're

away Loft - away, Loft

Loft knew - new paragraph

Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" !

time," My - time," my

well, he - well; he

feet and - feet, and

woods, the - woods; the

playground, the - playground:

close it - close, it

felt it's - felt its

supper!" My - supper!" my

What are - What are - italics works well for internal thought.

morning I - morning, I

light the - light, the

quiet, all - quiet; all

walked I - walked, I

followed it's - followed its

time I - time, I

rock that - rock, which

top to - top, to

Vinal!" My - Vinal!" my

in and - in, and

Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" !

Dominique, and - Dominique and

on and - on, and

tight and - tight, and

front and putting - front; putting

flowers, and - no comma

house look - house looked

she got - she bought

store, and even - store and was even

hard, save - hard, and save

money so - money, so

go, she - go; she

hers and - hers, and

Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" !

I believe there are a few places of internal thought that could be identified with italics, which would add to the story.

Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" !

Yelled Kenton - yelled Kenton

lurched and - lurched, and

"How - the quote marks are not needed with the italics.

side and - side, and

it is - it was - stay with past tense.

Sayrune he - Sayrune, he

one and - one, and

short and i - short, and I

left and - left, and

sis and - sis, and

bumps are - bumps were

paper" replied - paper," replied

corner and - corner, and

trees and - trees, and

did the - did, the

behold, they - behold; they

rivets or - rivets, or

gates and - gates, and

is we - is, we

hour" said - hour," said

now so - now, so

Archium, I - Archium; I

here" said - here," said

mess Kenton - mess, Kenton

covered Kenton - covered, Kenton

lever and - lever, and

sweat and - sweat, and

clothing knowing that they - clothing, knowing they

gracefully and - gracefully, and

movements he - movements, he

hand and - hand, and

glow and - glow, and

finally as - finally, as

breath his - breath, his

body following - body, following

Kinetomancy the - Kinetomancy, the

hands and - hands, and

stopper he - stopper, he

arms, it - arms; it

trunk, then - trunk then dressed.

color and - color, and

rounded and had an - rounded with an

and looked as black - and black

inns and - inns, and

shops, they - shops. They

buildings a - buildings, a

board, what - board; what

bit" said - bit," said

area, what - area; what

Penny and - Penny, and

2 - for numbers less ten - write them out.

letter I - letter, I

full bit" - full bit."

to, can - to; can

pouch," Kenton

council, the - council; the

schools but - schools, but

six" Thought - six," thought

seal and - seal, and

wise you - wise, you

letter then - letter, then

with but - with, but

Swale the - Swale, the

aware for - aware, for

schools they - schools, they

same and - same, and

imagine he - imagine, he

Gartside the - Gartside, the

master is - master, is

Lisadar the - Lisadar, the

master is - master, is

manipulative and - manipulative, and

Atterton the - Atterton, the

master has - master, has

trap and - trap, and

careful you - careful, you

answers and - answers, and

logic you - logic, you

Tarsus the - Tarsus, the

master that - master who

him and - him, and

man you - man, you

face, but - no comma

is but - is, but

research so - research, so

quickly and - quickly, and

cope, he - cope; he

in and - in, and

away, he - away; he

now he - now, he

stop and - stop, and

opened and - opened, and

color you could imagine. - I suggest to stay away from second person - color imaginable

noting historical - notable historical

skin, it - skin; it

dark it - dark; it

before, his - before; his

indeed, May - indeed; may

you sir" - you sir."

yesterday but - yesterday, but

with us" - with us."

just me" - just me."

Crown" - Crown."

welcome" replied - welcome," replied

driver, as - driver; as

away Kenton - away, Kenton

young lad" - young lad."

indeed, he - indeed; he

good" he - good," he

meeting" said - meeting," said

thing, I - thing; I

the way" - the way."

Archium and - Archium, and

walked Kenton - walked, Kenton

time I - time, I

lose" said - lose," said

understand, there - understand; there

later" Kenton - later," Kenton

lacing, he - lacing. He

enter, the - enter; the

already so - already, so

wards" said - wards," said

door, he - door; he

out and - out, and

special, It - special. It

impression, around - impression; around

Clout" said - Clout," said

north, it - north; it

room, he - room; he

amazing and - amazing, and

fifties, she - fifties; she

muscle and - muscle, and

time and - time, and

Kenton, I - Kenton; I

yet" said - yet," said

day and - day, and

Blyth was" - Blyth was."

Atterton" replied - Atterton," replied

council and - council, and

appearance I - appearance, I

Lisadar" - Lisadar."

deduction" said - deduction," said

Halbert" replied - Halbert," replied

while, how's - while; how's

half" Kenton - half," Kenton

memorial" said - memorial," said

first hand" - first hand."

you, he - you; he

man and - man, and

footsteps" replied - footsteps," replied

up and - up, and

gift or - gift, or

She squealed - she squealed

hand, he - hand; he

Lisadar but - Lisadar, but

met and - met, and

attempting"  he - attempting,"  he

one, he - one; he

"Why not, - "Why not?

forward, " she - forward," she - no space between , and "

boy, I am - boy; I am

old" Kenton - old," Kenton

pup" said - pup," said

way I - way, I

started" said - started," said

meeting, he - meeting; he

issues, this - issues; this

light" said - light," said

bastard" replied - bastard," replied

glasses and - glasses, and

in" asked - in?" asked

master fist - this is not clear.

begin" said - begin," said

Blythe" he - Blythe," he

opened and - opened, and

ink, he - ink; he

sweet, the - sweet; the

Blythe and - Blythe, and

words Torin - words, Torin

duty" Blythe - duty," Blythe

master" Blythe - master," Blythe

job" again, - job." Again,

Torin" said - Torin," said

vote" as - vote." As

Kenton's went - Kenton's, went

issue and - issue, and

it the - it, the

regardless" he - regardless," he

expect" replied - expect," replied

records" Blythe - records," Blythe

things" replied - things," replied

dismissed" said - dismissed," said

joke" said - joke," said

students and - students, and

masters so - masters, so

tedious it - tedious, it

him" he - him," he

Replied Kenton - replied Kenton

library and - library, and

there we - there, we

time doing" - time doing."

hall and - hall, and

Sayrune Kenton" he - Sayrune, Kenton," he

meeting so - meeting, so

under me" - under me."

his then - his, then

Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" !

caves the - caves, the

pupil less - pupilless

the pitiful - the next line continues on this one.

so...keen.' - so ... keen.'

the servant - The servant

His master - belongs with next paragraph.

waited but - waited, but

fact you - fact, you

The servant - new paragraph

The servant - goes with paragraph "of course."

man rose,moving - the next line needs to move up to this one.

her and - her, and

Gwag, I - Gwag; I

neck and - neck, and

Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" !

know that I - know I

hand, and - no comma

house, and - no comma

shared - share

war, and - no comma

least we - least, we

Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" !

aglow but - aglow, but

Suddenly Natalie's - Suddenly, Natalie's

lit, that means the - lit, the

street but - street, but

Suddenly she - Suddenly, she

around but - around, but

At least she - At least, she

street her - street, her

put and - put, and

minutes but - minutes, but

Just a few - A few

ago she - ago, she

well...if - well . . . if

her and - her, and

activity she saw was - activity was

1 but - 1, but

back, but once again was - back but, once again, was

world was on tilt. - world tilted.

she began to run in - she ran in

She turned and ran. - She turned and ran into the street without looking. (Since she was already running more information gives the reader a better idea of the action).

say "My - say, "My

Fielder and - Fielder, and

Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" !

Take a look at the use of "that." If the sentence reads good without it, then delete it. http://writeanything.wordpress.com/2009/11/09/that...

saying “I - saying, “I

face and that he - face, and he

She had dreams - She dreamed

co-worker and - co-worker, and

kids, and - no comma

him and - him, and

Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" !

rain Jayde - rain, Jayde

looked, but - no comma

He pulled - this is vague at first reading. Suggest - His mouth pulled

blackness it - blackness, it

travelers claiming - travelers, claiming

you, or even worse, start - you or, even worse, start

trapdoor, she - trapdoor; she

out, the - out; the

water which - water, which

once and - once, and

on her - on me

well and - well, and

center the - center of the

3 men - three men

cloth but - cloth, but

attempted - attempt

house and - house, and

before and - before, and

sorry... was - sorry . . . was

chest and - chest, and

me and - me, and

said “Come - said, “come

surprise.” Carolyn - surprise,” Carolyn

pouted “It's - pouted, “it's

in, and - no comma

But, it - no comma

car, and - no comma

steps 2 - steps two

doorway all - doorway, all

giggled, and - no comma         

“NO.” She - “NO,” she

kitchen she - kitchen, she

back.” She - back,” she

her had - her hand

And, she - no comma

all they - all, they

room, and - no comma

red, and - no comma

gaze, and - no comma

humiliation, and - no comma

stupor she - stupor, she

end and - end, and

point his - point, his

winsome, - win some,

reverent and - reverent, and

displays and - displays, and

voices and - voices, and

before, but - no comma

outside; moving - outside moving

Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" !

triple and - triple, and

ordinary, or - no comma

pancakes and - pancakes, and

knows?” Fred - knows? Fred - try italics for internal thought.

but, close - no comma

The man spoke - new paragraph

number to - number of

Having heard - new paragraph

And from - new paragraph

Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" !

Mouse explain. - Mouse explained.

Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" !

The emoticons are not needed.

laugh on - laugh at

joke or - joke, or

anything...I - anything . . . I

happy and accused - happy, and I accused

lying on - lying in

one, but - no comma

monster." - no quote mark

Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" !

vision and - vision, and

ringlets. She - ringlets, she

Her voice - her voice

calm, but - no comma

her and - her, and

sure it - sure, it

carefully and - carefully, and

head, - head.

her though he - her; though, he

face and - face, and

You--," she - You--" She

that--." - that--"

She screamed - she screamed,

divine,c aught - divine, caught

yourself," his - yourself." His

slow, but - no comma

You're letting - "You're letting

anymore," the - anymore." The

finger and - finger, and

wasn't--." - wasn't--"

path." Her - path," her

along, but - no comma

her and - her, and

Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" !

town and - town, and

one, we - one; we

summer and - summer, and

distance we - distance, we

destination we - destination, we

exhausted, all - exhausted; all

else, the - else: the

now it - now, it

then settled - then settle

addition charge - additional charge

basement and - basement, and

chair and - chair, and

eyes you - eyes, you

settled we - settled, we

midnight when - midnight, when

out and - out, and

voice, I - voice; I

birthday and - birthday, and

her, I - her; I

warning her - warning, her

branch and - branch, and

arm, she - arm; she

pace she - pace, she

afternoon and - afternoon, and

drink and - drink, and

brushed and - brushed, and

meeting she - meeting, she

moment she - moment, she

moment I - moment, I

dream, all - dream; all

irritation I - irritation, I

sort, something - sort; something

corner which - corner, which

again, this - again; this

fortunate, whatever - fortunate. Whatever

presence I - presence, I

crowded, and - no comma

days helping - days, helping

first I - first, I

reason leaving - reason for leaving

uneventful so - uneventful, so

time our - time, our

room, it - room; it

before, I - before. I

time I - time, I

children, we - children; we

Catherine and - Catherine, and

things, the - things: the

wars and - wars, and

all I’ve - all, I’ve

see I - see, I

see I - see, I

ago, there - ago; there

old I’m - old, I’m

at, and - no comma

eternal and - eternal, and