|Your story is being reviewed for "Invalid Item"
Note: editing your item after submission is against the rules of the contest. If you edit your item, it will be disqualified from the contest. If I suggest an improvement and you make that improvement, the rating and judgment awarded will no longer be valid. Please do not edit until the contest results are announced.
Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.
What I like: the idea and creativity of this story is good. The introduction of the three men needs some more details added: who are they; where did they come from; what happens next.
Opening: ets up the scene and characters well. The story flows good from here, and the reader is brought into the action.
Plot: as I see, there is an evil creature, and its desires are to destroy. Jenna is saved by some strange men. The creature and its actions are developed well. The second part of the story is confusing and could use more development.
Hook: I was hooked from the start and left with questions at the end.
Style and Voice: easy reading style and flows well.
Scene/Setting: the setting is well done. It has a scary atmosphere.
Characters: Jenna is well done, and the interactions of the characters is good.
Dialogue: I like the dialogue, and it advances the story.
Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes ▼
When you have a chance stop by "Invalid Item" Then write a story and enter for a chance to win. Thanks, on behalf of pinkbarbie and Paul.
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