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I like your poem. It grabs at the emotion and hangs on to the end. The contrast between what the world sees and you see is well expressed. The flow of the poem is like a waterfall rushing to crash at the end. Well done. Paul
This is an interesting story. Your concept is very creative. Your characters are developed well in the story Your internal dialogue is used in an effective way. Well done. Paul
This story is well structured. It takes a familiar story idea and puts some twists and turns intro it which is clever and effective. The characters are well developed and interesting. The story has suspense, mystery, and drama. There a few grammatical errors. Over all this is a very good story. Well done. Paul
Excellent dialogue. It nice to read someone who knows how to write dialogue. The conversation is snappy. It's just like kids tend to talk. The story is advanced well in the use of dialogue.
What can I say? Top notch! One of the very best stories I read on this sight. Excellent plot development. Dialogue both verbal and internal well done. Characters come to life. Grammar top notch
This story is very creative. The reader is pulled into this imaginary world where the unreal become real. The plot is well developed and the grammar is top notch. Excellent!
Your story is well told. The dialogue is well written and is used effectively to advance the story. Your characters are brought to life in the telling of the story. Your story idea is well executed. There are some grammatical mistakes.
This is a very good poem. It is not in the rhythm or the rhyme that this poem comes to life; rather, it is in the evocative words that pulls the reader in, revealing the heart of this poem / story. Well done.
This story is well told. The dialogue is done very well. The characters tell the story and are well developed. There are some grammatical errors, but they do not detract from the story. Over-all well done.
This is a well crafted story. You have a good command of dialogue. Your story telling ability is excellent. You create characters that are interesting. There are some grammatical errors. Read up on sentence structure, and you will do good. Keep writing
I like your story. Your character development is excellent. There are a few grammatical errors but that is a minor issue. Your story is well constructed building suspense as it goes along. Keep writing.
Thank you, Sanita, for sharing this beautiful poem. The truth of the message is as beautiful as the expression through which it is conveyed. I know that I'll will eagerly await your nest post, and the next, and . . .
Great job.
This is a great poem. I appreciate the imagery that is used to convey the message. Voices; echo, rain, deafen, numb, whispering, ill-selected, encouraging, I appreciate your structure and rhythm as well as the message.
This poem is snappy, witty, rhythmic, with good use of description. It is also like watching a movie. Write more like this - please. Thank you for sharing
Paul
A heartfelt expression of living in pain still finding strength to live. This is a beautiful poem in the expression of a beautiful life in the midst of pain. Sometimes it is very hard to live in this tent, but in the knowledge of that perfect body awaiting us, we find hope and grace to press on. May God bring a blessing of grace upon you.
The emotion of your poem is subtle, but it packs a knockout punch. The damage that can be inflicted upon someone is something that is almost beyond words. Hanging onto the pain will only bring more pain. Revealing the hurt is one step on the path of healing.
This poem brings the reader into an emotional journey into the past. The emotional conflict from the encounter with past memories is well expressed in the choice of words: stumbled, blind, slipped, wet , cold, nettles, and sting. The resolution of the conflict is expressed very well: 'soothe them with promises my tomorrow may bring. ' I commend you for expressing so much in a poem of short length. Thanks for sharing.
I like this poem for the idea that you have expressed quite well. The poem has a good feel in its rhythm. The poem also has a fun feel to it. Thank you for sharing.
I like the poem. I appreciate your explanation of the reason for writing as well as how you constructed it. The care you have taken in writing this poem gives it even more depth. Thank you for sharing.
Your descriptive language brings your poem to life. Your vision of the past remembered and the present encountered leaves feelings of sadness but also gives hope for the future. I like your poem. Keep writing.
This is interesting. It leaves me wondering is this person a dream or real? I like the poem and how it is presented.
Paul
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