smithy he - smithy, he

while and - while, and

yesterday I - yesterday, I

road and - road, and

besides, he thought that under - besides, he thought, under – italics works well for internal thought.

family, and – no comma

blue a – blue, a

large old tee - large, old tree

underworld at - underworld, at

another and - another, and

Yet he – Yet, he

whereabouts but - whereabouts, but

weary, and - no comma

disintegrate and – disintegrate, and

foot and – foot, and

cave and – cave, and

request you – request, you

stronger and – stronger, and

stopped and - stopped, and

time your – time, your

briefly, and – no comma

success and - success, and

spiritual; sustenance – no semicolon

furtively, then - no comma

march you - march, you

located and – located, and

well and - well, and

Petros she - Petros, she

doomed then - doomed, then

warning; “Petros – warning, “Petros

lightning” which – lightning”, which

problem; one – problem: one

disappeared and – disappeared, and

cave and – cave, and

afterwards Hirana – afterwards, Hirana

love,” she – love.” She

day, and – no comma

you,” and - you.” And

Petros but - Petros, but

arms and - arms, and

course and, - course, and,

eyes and - eyes, and

yourself as job - yourself a job

heard and - heard, and

you but - you, but

laughed and – laughed, and

dock and – dock, and

late,” he - no comma

yours and - yours, and

Fry, we – Fry; we

window and – window, and

later and – later, and

hours and - hours, and

tortellini or - tortellini, or

door and – door, and

enchanting and - enchanting, and

slacks and - slacks, and

lounge and - lounge, and

com and – com, and

efforts, and – no comma

clear and - clear, and

strong, and – no comma

piano, but - no comma

notes, although he - notes; although, he

fish, the – fish; the

seaweed and – seaweed, and

breasts and - breasts, and

soul and – soul, and

waves and - waves, and

old and - old, and

misery and - misery, and

mother and - mother, and

relationship, and – no comma

music or - music, or

isolation and – isolation, and

area and – area, and

drinks and - drinks, and

pools, and – no comma

waves and - waves, and

home, and – no comma

luxuries he - luxuries, he

you?" He - you?" he

out, it's - out; it's

out." He - out," he

hissed, "you - hissed, "You

"Wait!" He - "Wait!" he

later a – later, a

shoulders, and - no comma

hands it - hands, it

light, and – no comma

seconds the - seconds, the

on, out – no comma

still. Breathing - still, breathing

could, and – no comma

rock, or – no comma

arms stretched - arms, stretched

side groped - side, groped

Eventually he - Eventually, he

candle, and – no comma

head, but - no comma

well, it - well; it

faded and – faded, and

knees and - knees, and

here." Morhem's - here," Morhem's

eyes it - eyes, it

veins and – veins, and

further?" He - further?" he

arm, and with some shock felt -arm and, with some shock, felt

low." Morhem – low," Morhem

immediately he - immediately, he

stomach, and - no comma

stopped, and – no comma

minutes Morhem - minutes, Morhem

Morhem whisper. - Morhem whisper,

length, was sat - length, was sitting - length, sat

pen." The – pen," the

pitched, - no comma

contnued. - continued.

sulk, but – no comma

child." He – child," he

"Mor..Morhem?" - "Mor . . . Morhem?"

features, but – no comma

tall, and – no comma

"Well I - "Well, I

dark, or - no comma

here." Morhem – here," Morhem

whispered "Sleep". - whispered, "Sleep."

him, he – him; he

big, we - big; we

Slowly Morhem’s – Slowly, Morhem’s

desk and - desk, and

thoughts he - thoughts, he

more he – more, he

Internally he - Internally, he

desk, and - no comma

ink and – ink, and

featureless, it – featureless; it

course that – course, that

hole he'd - hole, he'd

knees crawling – knees, crawling

reason it – reason, it

oak and - oak, and

opening and – opening, and

somewhere and – somewhere, and

Finally his - Finally, his

Wooden he - Wooden, he – italics work well for internal thought.

Slowly he – Slowly, he

reignited and - reignited, and

Eventually he - Eventually, he

grunt he - grunt, he

shirt, and – no comma

candle." A - candle," a

speak, and – no comma

laughed, and – no comma

sighed, and asking,- sighed, asking in

her'?" She - her'?" she

repeated, and – no comma

kids, or – no comma

okay, because - no comma

tons extra - tons of extra

cloaked, and – no comma

Thing?". - thing?"

".. no, - "... no,

Sam, and – no comma

cell-phone, or - no comma

faster the - faster, the

frowned, and - no comma

help, because – no comma

road, and – no comma

clothes riding - clothes, riding

replied "Armsman," - replied, "Armsman,"

commented, and - no comma

ma'am" – ma'am."

then, and no comma

order a doctor - ordered a doctor

force, and - no comma

Major I – Major, I

officer, and – no comma

Mom, because – no comma

go, because – no comma

her and – her, and

over, of - no comma

stand, and – no comma

note the three * are not needed. The chapter break is sufficient.

say "Get – say, "Get

her, because – no comma

open and - open, and

again, and- no comma

up, and – no comma

nervous, and – no comma

me, and – no comma

live, and - no comma

also, but – no comma

them, to - no comma

large, and - no comma

home and - home, and

wink and – wink, and

arrive, because - no comma

Base, and - no comma

parents, and – no comma

quiet, because – no comma

matter, because - no comma

sadly, and – no comma

Suddenly the - Suddenly, the

face, and – no comma

arms, and – no comma

crippled, because – no comma

better, but – no comma

it, because - no comma

watch, because – no comma

salute and - salute, and

me, and – no comma

up, and – no comma

help, and – no comma

bed it - bed, it

me and - me, and

switch and - switch, and

order, because - no comma

colony, to – no comma

parents, and – no comma

brother, although he - brother; although, he

outside, because – no comma

again, and - no comma

me, and – no comma

it, although she – it; although, she

it, and - no comma

feel, when – no comma

this, because – no comma

up, to - no comma

mind-whips, some – no comma

enough I - enough that I

stronger, and – no comma

often, because – no comma

it, and – no comma

Normally they - Normally, they

her, because – no comma

me, know, - me, now,

moved and - moved, and

Annie come - Annie came

message, because - no comma

Sam, to – no comma

her, and – no comma

year he – year, he

now he – now, he

stronger; he – stronger, he

him, nor – no comma

Finally he - Finally, he

alone, we’re – alone; we’re

kill, we - kill; we

nearby, and - no comma

things, we’re - things; we’re

deer, and - no comma

distance he - distance, he

deer, none – deer; none

it, and – no comma

again George – again, George

there, someone – there; someone

him most - him, most

your started - you started

Finally George – Finally, George

anymore, and – no comma

happening.” George - happening,” George

voices, there – voices; there

Finally he – Finally, he

idea, and – no comma

him, he – him; he

me, and – no comma

slowly, and - no comma

mind, and - no comma

left, and – no comma

“Okay.” Thought - “Okay,” thought

George, “So - George, “so

whatsoever, I’m – whatsoever; I’m

you, and – no comma

clearing, yet - clearing; yet,

gone, and – no comma

luck, but – no comma

object, and – no comma

story, but – comma

ordinary, but – no comma

said, “Yes - said, “Yes,

me, the – me; the

“I wish…”. - 'I wish…'.

there, it - there; it

lamp;., and - lamp, . . and

it, you – it; you

up, and – no comma

lamp, it’s – lamp; it’s

wish.” Alex – wish,” Alex

immediately he – immediately, he

pepper, it’s – pepper; it’s

India, it’s - India; it’s

wish, and - no comma

Suddenly Ron - Suddenly, Ron

with.’” Alex – with’,” Alex

bar.” Ron – bar,” Ron

had, and – no comma

listened, he - listened; he

these, and – no comma

Suddenly the - Suddenly, the

suddenly, it - suddenly; it

think, and - no comma

again, all – again; all

Suddenly he – Suddenly, he

lifted, his – lifted; his

Suddenly he - Suddenly, he

mother’s, and – no comma

Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" !

subconsciousness and - subconsciousness, and

Greg but – Greg, but

hammers and – hammers, and

chair, then - no comma

lino and - lino, and

bombsight – bombsite

friend, I – friend; I

faithful and - faithful, and

bottle and - bottle, and

Surely I - Surely, I

remember and – remember, and

hatred and – hatred, and

small and - small, and

him, I - him; I

enough and - enough, and

house and - house, and

sentence and – sentence, and

this, it – this; it

operate and - operate, and

vortex and – vortex, and

arm but – arm, but

this bad. - this is bad.


patients, they – patients; they

“Laur - “ - “Laur--”

lie and - lie, and

minutes and – minutes, and

out and – out, and

like, I - like; I

hair the – hair, the

eyes and - eyes, and

kitchen but - kitchen, but

shaking and - shaking, and

precise) I - precise), I

faring and - faring, and

He is lying – a bit more detail to what happened would be helpful.

him but - him, but

Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" !

I wish – the use of italics works well for internal thought.

night that - “that” is not needed.

years so – years, so

"Really?" She - "Really?" she

traffic talking - traffic, talking

go, what's - go; what's

Luckily I – Luckily, I

"Hey Oliver, - new paragraph

happily, "I knew – happily. **"I knew – this is new paragraph.

mom." I teased. - mom," I teased.

years, and – no comma

math." Oliver - math," Oliver

jokingly, "Yeah, - jokingly. **"Yeah, - this is new paragraph

"Whatever." he – "Whatever," he

smile, "Alright, Collins. - smile, "alright, Collins,

chat, "Ok, - chat. **"Ok, - new paragraph

Nathan?" My - Nathan?" my

friend, "I'm fine." I - friend. **"I'm fine," I – new paragraph

"Do you – new paragraph

know that - “that” is not needed

tonight and - tonight, and

yeah." He - yeah," he

This just – new paragraph

"Nathan, - new paragraph

even – used twice in same sentence – one can be deleted.

him." I - him," I

Wondered - wandered

paperwork, I - paperwork. I

strong, that – no comma

screams, "I don't – screams. **"I don't – new paragraph

him, "You - him. ** "You – new paragraph

you." I - you," I

heart and - heart, and

head, I – head. I

up and – up, and

I lied - I laid

because my – because of my

while put - while putting

me, "Nathan." I - me. **"Nathan," I – new paragraph

faintly, "Well - faintly. **"Well – new paragraph

Shined - shone

papers and – papers, and

him and – him, and

tall thin - tall, thin

this she – this, she

up, then – no comma

times they - times, they

others she - others, she

response she - response, she

with, and – no comma

beside if – beside, it

face she - face, she

nose and – nose, and

point he - point, he

respects, and – no comma

season and - season, and

him One - him. One

abilities his - abilities, his

time she - time, she

ring and - ring, and

afternoon his – afternoon, his

day his – day, his

Leave a space between paragraphs for easier reading.

years now, - years now.

house, and – no comma

team and – team, and

war, and – no comma

tonight; it – tonight, it

time Ed - time, Ed

first it - first, it

pack, then – no comma

can and - can, and

truck, unable - no comma

her, or – no comma

chair, and – no comma

eleven she – eleven, she

his paints - his pants

pulse, and – no comma

Leave a space between paragraphs for easier reading.

years now, - years now.

house, and – no comma

team and – team, and

war, and – no comma

tonight; it – tonight, it

time Ed - time, Ed

first it - first, it

pack, then – no comma

can and - can, and

truck, unable - no comma

her, or – no comma

chair, and – no comma

eleven she – eleven, she

his paints - his pants

pulse, and – no comma

months I – months, I

door, and – no comma

Lately some – Lately, some

out, or – no comma

in yard – in the yard

truss” I - truss,” I

busted trough - busted through

roof truss - roof trusses

could. they - could. They

shop, and – no comma

Bangor, and – no comma

first it – first, it

week, and - no comma
farm I - farm, I

shelves and – shelves, and

out I – out, I

around,” I – around.” I

room, and – no comma

farm I - farm, I

face, and - no comma

down, and – no comma

away?” He - away?” he

away, and – no comma

turned, and – no comma

yell “What – yell, “What

gumption and – gumption, and

morning, and – no comma

“Tommy,” - “Tommy.”

trouble, with – no comma

away, and – no comma

away, and – no comma

walk Mr. - walk, Mr.

Bennett, before – no comma

“Sure,...” - “Sure....”

to bun - to burn

sides, and – no comma

walk she – walk, she

Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" !

morning, I - morning. I

mind which – mind, which

definatly - definitely

day, it - day; it

unnaturaly – unnaturally

that im - that I'm

uncomftable – uncomfortable

clock which - clock, which

hard cold - hard, cold

throbed - throbbed

wardrobe which - wardrobe, which

legs, this - legs. This

scavanged - scavenged

buisness - business

something, and – no comma

Thats when - That's when

hanging of - hanging on

out, has - out; has

unfamilier - unfamiliar

figuered - figured

missused - misused

coopurate - cooperate

body, It - body. It

sleves - sleeves

t-shirt and - t-shirt, and

quarted lenghts - quarter lengths

different, that - different; that

knew, maybe - knew; maybe

day and - day, and

and quite. - and quiet.

detest, was – no comma

scales which – scales, which

usual; To - usual; to

occastional – occasional

tounge - tongue

teeth, slight – teeth; slight

somekind - some kind

believeable - believable

,thats - ,that's

door, cracked - door; cracked

opening yanking - yanking

us mutants, - we, mutants,

baby, I – baby; I

creatures, all - creatures; all

is, other - is; other

desk learning - desk, learning

here so - here, so

long and - long, and

them, you - them; you

breakes - breaks
day, or – no comma

loath, it - loath; it

hour', in – hour'. In

up, no, - up. No,

dies or - dies, or

there dorms - their dorms

shared, I - shared; I

now Im - now I'm

centered and - centered, and

to, wearing - too wearing

suit, what - suit; what

Darcy!" A - Darcy!" a

familier - familiar

favoured - favorite

place I had, came - place came

hall's - halls

me she - me, she

your weak. - you're weak.

Im not - I'm not

away so - away, so

joy, something - joy; something

unnaturaly - unnaturally

equaly - equally

human, while – no comma

and butt - and the butt

jokes which - jokes, which

"'Sup." I – "'Sup," I

laugh, why - laugh. Why

up Darko." She - up, Darko," she

encoraged - encouraged

name, I - name. I

response - response

andslaughtered hundrends – and slaughtered hundreds

judgeing - judging

storys - stories

alive, or – no comma

non existant - nonexistent

forgotten?" She - forgotten?" she

humerous – humorous

wear, was - wear. Was

laughed, I - laughed. I

expresstion – expression

face, she - face. She

compaines!" She – companies!" she

mimicing - mimicking

tone, she - tone. She

on!" She - on!" she

excitement - excitement

me which – me, which

and brought. - and bought.

lessons we learnt - lessons, we learned

equivelent - equivalent

later, she - later; she

on her defence, - in her defense,

prosess - process

being brought - being bought

front, and – no comma

line, you - line; you

quicker." I - quicker," I

powers, you - powers; you

risk." She - risk," she

there." I – there," I

tounge – tongue

mimcked - mimicked

defencive responce. - defensive response.

chair, yeah that - chair; yeah, that

mimicing - mimicking

speackers - speakers

be properly, - be, properly,

suprising - surprising

roughtly - roughly

frount – front

forward - forward

Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" !

The story has present and past tense. Select one and stay with it.

knew that - that is not needed. Take a look at the word that in the story. If the sentence makes sense without it, delete it.

hands I – hands, I

captain or – captain, or

“Pull!” Fifteen - “Pull!” fifteen

hold, “Say – hold. “Say

moment, “Why - moment. “Why

away and – away, and

battered and - battered, and

me nothing - me, nothing

time what - time, what

dream the – dream, the

eye, “Put – eye. “Put

“Túlio why - “Túlio, why

implied, “Which – implied. “Which

me, “Look – me. “Look

focusses - focuses

task, “Quick, - task. “Quick,

breath and - breath, and

battle I - battle, I

ends and - ends, and

all but - all, but

Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" !

help, it - help; it

chair, and - no comma

old, and – no comma

moment, then – no comma

away, and – no comma

safe.” came - safe,” came

good, because – no comma

answers why - answers for why

questions which - questions, which

debatable, - no comma

white and - white, and

passing, but - no comma

contact, but – no comma

notice, was – no comma

stones, and – no comma

him.” He - him,” he

commands, and – no comma

arm and - arm, and

quietly. “Are - quietly, “Are

“Absolutely. I - “Absolutely, I

Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" !

muscular and - muscular, and

vest, and – no comma

mouth, and - no comma

"What?" came - What? Came – italics work well for internal spech.

sat, and – no comma

Saddlebag, - no comma

bush, and – no comma

hand, and – no comma

water, then – no comma

stringer, and – no comma

Brutus, and – no comma

fire, then – no comma

pocket, then – no comma

pain, and – no comma

area wanting – area was wanting

claws and – claws, and

vest and – vest, and

himself, and – no comma

paws and - paws, and

coat, and – no comma

awake, and – no comma

talk, when – no comma

stirrup, and – no comma

warm and - warm, and

through the - through, the

Finally the - Finally, the

and soft - and a soft

road lead - road led

"Horse,"" - 'Horse',”

Brutis – Brutus

"Me, and – no comma

grin, and – no comma

night, and - no comma

room, or – no comma

fiver, and – no comma

Brutus, then – no comma

mother and – mother, and

Turning back – some verbs are present tense in this paragraph.

around, then – no comma

Gideon lead - Gideon led

dust, or – no comma

chin, and – no comma

"All right. - verbs present tense

woodsline, and – woodline and

Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" !

Mine, and – no comma

later the – later, the

shoulders, - no comma

so, but – no comma

knelt, and - no comma

agreement, and - no comma

bit, and go – no comma

bit, and some – no comma

bucket, and - no comma

briefly, then – no comma

true, and – no comma

nodded, and – no comma

years, and – no comma

shaft, then – no comma

one, then – no comma

hole, and – no comma

corner, and – no comma

work, and – no comma

quickly, and – no comma

John and - John, and

debris, and – no comma

hole, and – no comma

mightly hands - mighty

ran, but – no comma

back, and – no comma

Washington and - Washington, and

Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" !

that, or – no comma

of any more were - of were

crashes...except – crashes … except

happened then, it - happened, then it

room, because – no comma

could, and - no comma

"Figures." He – "Figures," he

here." Cameron – here," Cameron

I'm..." - I'm--" suggest this for an interuption.

know." She - know," she

back, and- no comma

up and - up, and

Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" !

stop a train – if this is before trains use a different idea.

she wass – she was

side.” Drel - side,” Drel

“Hello.” Stramula - “Hello,” Stramula

joke.” Drel - joke,” Drel

Celeste shaked – Celeste shook

shot.” Celeste - shot,” Celeste

care.” Kormina - care,” Kormina

Celeste.” Kormina - Celeste,” Kormina

again.” Celeste - again,” Celeste

you.” Kormina - you,” Kormina

on.” Celeste - on,” Celeste

“Xanderi-” Celeste - “Xanderi--” Celeste

bag.” Maximus - bag,” Maximus

claming Kormina - claiming Kormina

anyone.” He – anyone,” he

true.” He - true,” he

in town square - in the town square

They are all - They were all

anyone.” She - anyone,” she

incident.” The – incident,” the

again. There - again, or there

Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" !

Space between paragraphs makes for easier reading.


here, he - here; he

he acknowledge - he acknowledged

uneasiness, his - uneasiness; his

"Breathe," He - Breathe, he – italics work well for internal thought.

next, that is - next; that is

hadn't went - hadn't gone - Went takes no auxiliary verb.

written, and – no comma

"SCREEEEEE" Went - "SCREEEEEE" went

cue Jensen's - cue, Jensen's

only socked - only sockets

skin. Sharp - skin, sharp

softly then - softly, then

leaving and - leaving an

grinded his - ground his

him he - him; he – it not clear who is stepping. If it the man, then - he stepped slowly closer and put himself in its
if it is the creature - it stepped slowly closer and put itself in his

over came - overcame

Rotting flesh – a verb is needed here

where they empty but - were they empty, but

soul, then – no comma

All while - All the while

free the - free, the

hells deepest - hell's deepest


Instinctively his - Instinctively, his

fall…” He - fall… he

hands Jensen - hands, Jensen

hands, and – no comma

wall he - wall, he

battle he had - battle he'd had

fighting, was – no comma

Gods Angels - God's Angels

escape slowly he - escape; slowly, he

miniscule - minuscule

hours Jensen - hours, Jensen

Squinting he - Squinting, he

Slowly Jensen - Slowly, Jensen

He mumbled - he mumbled

cold, a - cold; a

toe, a - toe. A

sleeve nope, that - sleeve. Nope, that

definitely him - definitely not him

crinkled and - crinkled, and

onward, “Out - onward, “out

it, ever - it; ever

boy strange – boy, strange

around them - around him

back yard he remembers - backyard. He remembered

yard he - yard, he

bones, it - bones; it

obtained, do - obtained. Do

dilapidating - dilapidated

shower then - shower, then

a little dilapidated – this condition has been established.

implanted oh - implanted on

tell, and the world in which - tell and the world which

shirt, and – no comma

“Excuse me.,” Jensen - “Excuse me,” Jensen

me,” He - me,” he

around, Jensen- around. Jensen

pure discuss. - pure disgust.

out, his - out. His

audible, it – audible; it

sir I’d - sir, I’d

room” Jensen - room,” Jensen

off of his - off his

The mad - The man

evening” the - evening,” the

sleep the - sleep, the

check in - check-in

Madonna threw - Madonna banged - Madonna threw gives an odd visual picture.

again, she - again; she

hoped that Trish - delete that

muttering “I - muttering, “I

before stopped - before stopping

bedroom she - bedroom, she

bed she - bed, she

knew that she - delete that

screamed “Hello? - screamed, “Hello?

forward, “I - forward. “I

area, and being ushered - area and were ushered

** note** one of the prompt words, shattered, was missing from the story.

out and - out, and

weekend but - weekend, but

hat but - hat, but

“No …” - “No--" suggest this for an abrupt end.

and with - and, with

for but - for, but

knew and - knew, and

downward. . - downward.

him and - him, and

followed and - followed, and

teeth Thomas - teeth, Thomas

up, and - no comma

did, and - no comma

thought. There's - thought, there's

widen and - widen, and

then, and - no comma

Suddenly he - Suddenly, he

head, and - no comma

dream, all - dream; all