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Public Reviews
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176
176
Review of Starman  
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*


Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: Excellent fight scene.

Opening: this is a very good opening paragraph. The reader's attention is captured right away andf held until the end.

Style and Voice: there is a quick pace with an easy writing style.

Scene/Setting: lots of good details bring the scenes to life.

Dialogue: good dialogue that advances the story.

Characters: both characters are interesting, and their interaction is well done.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



When you have a chance stop by "Invalid Item Then write a story and enter for a chance to win. Thanks, on behalf of pinkbarbie and Paul.

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177
177
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: an interesting science fiction idea.

Opening: as the opening to a longer story, this works well in that it introduces the character in an interesting way.

Style and Voice: easy reading style

Scene/Setting: good details add to the scenes

Dialogue: good dialogue that advances the story.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



When you have a chance stop by "Invalid Item Then write a story and enter for a chance to win. Thanks, on behalf of pinkbarbie and Paul.

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178
178
Review of HIM  
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Your story is being reviewed for "Invalid Item

Note: editing your item after submission is against the rules of the contest. If you edit your item, it will be disqualified from the contest. If I suggest an improvement and you make that improvement, the rating and judgment awarded will no longer be valid. Please do not edit until the contest results are announced.

Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: the idea is presented using science fiction.

Opening: the first few paragraphs introduce the characters and set up the story idea.

Style and Voice: easy reading style

Scene/Setting: there are many good details that add to the atmosphere of the story.

Characters: the characters are well defined, and they interaction is well done.

Dialogue: good dialogue that advances the story.


Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



When you have a chance stop by "Invalid Item Then write a story and enter for a chance to win. Thanks, on behalf of pinkbarbie and Paul.


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179
179
Review of The Naughty Gift  
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Your story is being reviewed for "Invalid Item

Note: editing your item after submission is against the rules of the contest. If you edit your item, it will be disqualified from the contest. If I suggest an improvement and you make that improvement, the rating and judgment awarded will no longer be valid. Please do not edit until the contest results are announced.

Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: a delightful story with humor and a surprise for Christmas.

Opening: The first paragraph sets the scene for the story, and the reader is engaged to the very end.

Style and Voice: the first person voice is used well to convey the story.

Characters: the main character is well done.

Dialogue: the dialogue is used well to advance the story.


Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



When you have a chance stop by "Invalid Item Then write a story and enter for a chance to win. Thanks, on behalf of pinkbarbie and Paul.


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180
180
Review of The Hand Mask  
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Your story is being reviewed for "Invalid Item

Note: editing your item after submission is against the rules of the contest. If you edit your item, it will be disqualified from the contest. If I suggest an improvement and you make that improvement, the rating and judgment awarded will no longer be valid. Please do not edit until the contest results are announced.

Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: it is a very interesting story idea developed in a good manner.

Opening: One of main characters is introduced right away, and the setting is well established.

Style and Voice: the story flows well.

Characters: the characters are well done, and there is good interaction.

Dialogue: good dialogue that advances the story.


Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



When you have a chance stop by "Invalid Item Then write a story and enter for a chance to win. Thanks, on behalf of pinkbarbie and Paul.


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181
181
Review of Bad Dreams  
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Your story is being reviewed for "Invalid Item

Note: editing your item after submission is against the rules of the contest. If you edit your item, it will be disqualified from the contest. If I suggest an improvement and you make that improvement, the rating and judgment awarded will no longer be valid. Please do not edit until the contest results are announced.

Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: Lots of great details that make for an exciting story.

Opening: excellent opening tha captures the reader's attention right away and holds it to the end.

Plot: I liked the plot and its development. The ending was not a surprise, but it was very well done.

Style and Voice: Dynamic easy flowing style that moves the story along very well.

Characters: excellent characters with a realistic feel.

Dialogue: good dialogue that advances the story well.


Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



When you have a chance stop by "Invalid Item Then write a story and enter for a chance to win. Thanks, on behalf of pinkbarbie and Paul.


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182
182
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: interesting characters, good plot, and lots of action.

Opening: lots of good detail in the opening paragraphs, which introduces the main character and creates a reason for the reader to keep reading.

Style and Voice: easy reading style that flows well.

Scene/Setting: a lot of small details that build realistic settings.

Characters: engaging characters that bring the story to life. Their interaction is well done.

Dialogue: good dialogue that advances the story.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



When you have a chance stop by "Invalid Item Then write a story and enter for a chance to win. Thanks, on behalf of pinkbarbie and Paul.

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183
183
Review of Dark Energy  
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: I really like the idea and how it was developed.

Opening: The first few paragraphs capture the reader's attention and kep it engaged to the end.

Style and Voice: easy reading style that flows well.

Scene/Setting: the scifi part of the story is very well done. It presented a realistic feeling.

Characters: interesting characters and good character interaction.

Dialogue: good dialogue that advances the story.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



When you have a chance stop by "Invalid Item Then write a story and enter for a chance to win. Thanks, on behalf of pinkbarbie and Paul.

Creepy, spooky. Scares me.

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184
184
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: lots of good detail that bring the story to life.

Opening: the first paragraph brings the reader into the story right away. The description paints a vivid scene.

Style and Voice: easy reading style that flows well.

Characters: the characters are believable, and there is good interaction between them.

Dialogue: good dialogue that advances the story.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



When you have a chance stop by "Invalid Item Then write a story and enter for a chance to win. Thanks, on behalf of pinkbarbie and Paul.

Creepy, spooky. Scares me.

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185
185
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Your story is being reviewed for "Invalid Item

Note: editing your item after submission is against the rules of the contest. If you edit your item, it will be disqualified from the contest. If I suggest an improvement and you make that improvement, the rating and judgment awarded will no longer be valid. Please do not edit until the contest results are announced.

Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: an idea that is different.

Opening: the first few paragraphs set the scene and introduces the characters.

Scene/Setting: there are good details in the scenes. Some cultural background would be helpful to the story.

Characters: interesting characters with good interaction.

Dialogue: good dialogue that advances the story.


Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



When you have a chance stop by "Invalid Item Then write a story and enter for a chance to win. Thanks, on behalf of pinkbarbie and Paul.


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186
186
Review of Promises  
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*


Note: editing your item after submission is against the rules of the contest. If you edit your item, it will be disqualified from the contest. If I suggest an improvement and you make that improvement, the rating and judgment awarded will no longer be valid. Please do not edit until the contest results are announced.

Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: a story with a strong emotional impact.

Opening: the first paragraph sets the tone and introduces the main character. The reader is drawn into the story and held until the end.

Style and Voice: the first person works well for this story, and the emotions come through clearly.

Scene/Setting: good details bring the scene to life.

Characters: strong characterization and good interaction between the characters.

Area(s) for improvement: notes


When you have a chance stop by "Invalid Item Then write a story and enter for a chance to win. Thanks, on behalf of pinkbarbie and Paul.


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187
187
Review of A Twisted Love  
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

Overall impression: Very strong emotional impact.

Rhyme: abab – the rhyme is well done.

Rhythm: good flow to the poem.

Imagery: good word choices conveying an emotional impact.

He mastered, wrath, strike, I cried, storm, blows, twisted monster, threats.

Area(s) for improvement: notes


When you have a chance stop by "Invalid Item Then write a story and enter for a chance to win. Thanks, on behalf of pinkbarbie and Paul.


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188
188
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: a strong emotional story that is well written.

Opening: the first paragraph introduces the main character and situation.

Style and Voice: an easy reading style that conveys strong emotion.

Scene/Setting: good details in the scenes bring the story to life.

Characters: strong character development, and the interaction between characters is well done.

Dialogue: good dialogue that has a natural feel to it and advances the story.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



When you have a chance stop by "Invalid Item Then write a story and enter for a chance to win. Thanks, on behalf of pinkbarbie and Paul.

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189
189
Review of Evil Wind  
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: This is a good drama that flows well. Good tension and suspense.

Opening: the opening paragraph sets the tone of the story and introduces the main character.

Style and Voice: easy to read style.

Scene/Setting: very good details make the scenes come to life.

Characters: the characters are well developed, and their interaction is good.

Dialogue: good dialogue that advances the story.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



When you have a chance stop by "Invalid Item Then write a story and enter for a chance to win. Thanks, on behalf of pinkbarbie and Paul.

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190
190
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: the tone of this story is very well done. I can almost see the story in black and white playing out.

Opening: the first few paragraphs set the atmosphere and introduce the main character.

Style and Voice: easy reading style.

Scene/Setting: great details make this story feel so real.

Characters: good characters and their interaction is well done.

Dialogue: good dialogue that advances the story.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



When you have a chance stop by "Invalid Item Then write a story and enter for a chance to win. Thanks, on behalf of pinkbarbie and Paul.

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191
191
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: an interesting character makes a good story.

Opening: the first few paragraphs introduce the main character and draw the reader into the story.

Style and Voice: easy reading style.

Scene/Setting: good details make for interesting scenes.

Characters: good character interaction.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



When you have a chance stop by "Invalid Item Then write a story and enter for a chance to win. Thanks, on behalf of pinkbarbie and Paul.

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192
192
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: a very creative story. I like it when I see parts of history or stories from the news inserted into a story. The Mars “expedition” reference is well done.

Opening: the first few paragraphs set the scene very well and introduces the main character.

Plot: the story idea is set up and developed well.

Style and Voice: the story flows well and is easy to read.

Scene/Setting: good details add to the setting, making for a good story.

Characters: interesting characters and good interaction.

Dialogue: I enjoyed the dialogue, and it advances the story.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



When you have a chance stop by "Invalid Item Then write a story and enter for a chance to win. Thanks, on behalf of pinkbarbie and Paul.

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193
193
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: Humor mixed with a serious theme makes for a good story.

Opening: the first paragraph sets the scene well and introduces the characters. The reader is pulled into the story right away and held until the end.

Plot: the idea is presented well and developed with humor.

Style and Voice: easy and fun writing style.

Scene/Setting: good details make the scene interesting.

Characters: both characters are interesting, and their interaction makes the story work.

Dialogue: great dialogue that advances the story.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



When you have a chance stop by "Invalid Item Then write a story and enter for a chance to win. Thanks, on behalf of pinkbarbie and Paul.

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194
194
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: I enjoyed the imaginative ideas of this story. I enjoyed the action scene.

Opening: The first paragraph sets the scene and brings the reader into the action, holding their attention until the end.

Plot: the idea is established and developed well.

Style and Voice: easy reading style and from the pov of a mouse.

Scene/Setting: good details add to the creativity of the story.

Characters: the main character is well done.

Dialogue: good dialogue that advances the story.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



When you have a chance stop by "Invalid Item Then write a story and enter for a chance to win. Thanks, on behalf of pinkbarbie and Paul.

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195
195
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Your story is being reviewed for "Invalid Item

Note: editing your item after submission is against the rules of the contest. If you edit your item, it will be disqualified from the contest. If I suggest an improvement and you make that improvement, the rating and judgment awarded will no longer be valid. Please do not edit until the contest results are announced.

Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: The story flows well and is easy to read.

Opening: the first few paragraphs set the tone and introduce the main character.

Tone: there is a sad tone to this story for most of it because the main character believes that everyone forgot her birthday. By the time a happier tone is introduced, the sadness has not totally dissipated.

Scene/Setting: the scenes are well done.

Characters: the main character is well done, and there is good interaction with other characters.

Dialogue: good dialogue that advances the story.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



When you have a chance stop by "Invalid Item Then write a story and enter for a chance to win. Thanks, on behalf of pinkbarbie and Paul.


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196
196
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Your story is being reviewed for "Invalid Item

Note: editing your item after submission is against the rules of the contest. If you edit your item, it will be disqualified from the contest. If I suggest an improvement and you make that improvement, the rating and judgment awarded will no longer be valid. Please do not edit until the contest results are announced.

Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: Both main characters are well done, and the interaction makes for an interesting story.

Opening: the first paragraph sets the scene and introduces the main characters.

Plot: the idea is well presented and developed.

Style and Voice: easy reading style.

Dialogue: good dialogue that advances the story.


Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



When you have a chance stop by "Invalid Item Then write a story and enter for a chance to win. Thanks, on behalf of pinkbarbie and Paul.


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197
197
Review of Hope Turns 15  
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Your story is being reviewed for "Invalid Item

Note: editing your item after submission is against the rules of the contest. If you edit your item, it will be disqualified from the contest. If I suggest an improvement and you make that improvement, the rating and judgment awarded will no longer be valid. Please do not edit until the contest results are announced.

Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: I enjoyed this creative story, which has a mix of fun and serious ideas.

Opening: the first paragraph is well done in setting the scene and introducing the main character.

Plot: the idea is developed throughout the story.

Style and Voice: easy reading and flows well.

Characters: the two main characters are well done, and their interaction advances the story well.

Dialogue: good dialogue that advances the story.


Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



When you have a chance stop by "Invalid Item Then write a story and enter for a chance to win. Thanks, on behalf of pinkbarbie and Paul.


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198
198
Review of Where to Next?  
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*


Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: An easy flowing story that presents a mystery.

Opening: The first paragraph sets the scene and introduces the main characters. The reader is pulled into the story.

Plot: the idea is presented, and this chapter serves its purpose to capture the reader so they wish to read more.

Dialogue: good dialogue that advances the story.

Characters: both characters are well done, and their interaction is good.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



When you have a chance stop by "Invalid Item Then write a story and enter for a chance to win. Thanks, on behalf of pinkbarbie and Paul.

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199
199
Review of Birthday Girl  
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*


Note: editing your item after submission is against the rules of the contest. If you edit your item, it will be disqualified from the contest. If I suggest an improvement and you make that improvement, the rating and judgment awarded will no longer be valid. Please do not edit until the contest results are announced.

Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: An easy flowing story that expresses a birthday from a child's point of view.

Opening: The first paragraph sets the scene well and introduces the main character.

Plot: the idea is set up and developed well.

Dialogue: good dialogue that advances the story.

Characters: delightful characters with good interaction.

Area(s) for improvement: notes


When you have a chance stop by "Invalid Item Then write a story and enter for a chance to win. Thanks, on behalf of pinkbarbie and Paul.


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200
200
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*


Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: An easy flowing story that reads naturally. A big cast of characters that interact well.

Opening: The first paragraph sets the scene well and introduces one of the main characters in an interesting way. The reader is pulled into the story.

Plot: the idea is presented and well developed.

Dialogue: natural sounding dialogue that advances the story.

Characters: all the characters are well done and their interaction is great, making for a good story.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



When you have a chance stop by "Invalid Item Then write a story and enter for a chance to win. Thanks, on behalf of pinkbarbie and Paul.

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