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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/peanutmom20
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4 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of self-delusion  
In affiliation with Mental Health Writers Alliance  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I like that you provided a backstory for the poem, but I believe you could've incorporated that information into your writing. The theme of refusing to move on when a friend already has is a relatable one, especially to me.

The structure of your poem is unique and creative. The last line is the most powerful as it provides the reader with an opportunity to reflect on themselves in relation to that question.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
2
2
Review of Chapter 1  
In affiliation with Mental Health Writers Alliance  
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
The exposition and worldbuilding are very well-done. You give enough detail to what is happening to the protagonist and his surroundings using more show rather than tell. I assume it takes a lot of experience to master that skill. How long have you been writing?

Also, the plot is perfectly paced. This first chapter provides the necessary information needed to know without excessive filler yet leaves the rest of the complete story as to how things got this way to be explained in later chapters.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
3
3
In affiliation with Mental Health Writers Alliance  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I'm intrigued that you're writing a slice of life piece for this exercise; I rarely ever see the slice of life style used in literature.

You're very descriptive in your writing, accounting even the tiniest details of your home's location and the appearance of your surroundings in your neighborhood.

You paint a vivid image of your writing by showing more than telling, which suits the slice of life style of narration exceptionally well.

As the first slice of life piece I've ever read, yours is outstandingly done. Keep it up!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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