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601 Public Reviews Given
603 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I am a published author. That doesn't make me an expert reviewer but it does means I've learned a few things about good writing. You can expect me to critique storytelling, character development, plot, transitions and other building blocks of writing. I will point out grammar and punctuation issues when I notice them but if you are looking for someone to give that kind review, there are others who will do far better than I. I try to be honest and encouraging but if you're requesting a review, I'm sure you expect it to be thorough. Good reviews sometimes hurt. I can't spare you that and give you an honest review.
I'm good at...
Critiquing your storytelling skills, especially first chapter reviews. I'm also good at building believable characters and recognizing good dialogue. I can review whole novels but my time is limited and it has to be worth my while.
Favorite Genres
Action adventure, comedy, historical, sci-fi and well-conceived fantasy.
Least Favorite Genres
Horror, Erotica, LGBTQ, Poetry. Some of this I don't like at all while the rest I am wholly inadequate to give a review on.
Favorite Item Types
Short stories, first chapters, and complete novels if they are not astronomically long.
Least Favorite Item Types
Extremely long novels, poetry, random chapters from the middle of a longer story.
I will not review...
Horror or Erotica. I will also not give reviews on random middle chapters. I don't believe they can be adequately reviewed out of context. Please don't ask me to review Vampire or Zombie stories. The sub-genre has been beaten to death and I don't want to read another one.
Public Reviews
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126
126
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Your title was terrific. That's what caught me attention and made me want to read this. There was a lot of good imagery here although it wasn't entirely clear all the time. There appears to be an effort at a rhyme scheme and there is rhythm in places. Honestly though I'm not sure what to change to make it better. Fixing one thing would trade off something I liked in it.

Was there any reason for the bold print words in this?

Good job here though! Keep writing!

Pico

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127
127
Review of My Angel  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (3.0)
The subject matter here has tons of potential. Powerful emotions, lots of pain and anguish. This can be harnessed into powerful poetry. Your poem is a great start. Your last line "The feeling inside of me will never be told" is the key here. I know that the emotions are impossible to adequately express but as writers and readers we want you to try.

Your writer's heart is there just keep writing and it will come out!

Pico

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128
128
Review of Stranger  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Structurally this is written very well. Excellent rhythm and rhyme scheme. Usually the repetitive phrasing will create a powerful mood in a poem but something with this imagery and all doesn't really do anything positive for me. I find that method will create a brooding mood which can be very effective. I just don't think it works with the subject here.

You're a better poet than I so don't be discouraged. Keep up the good work! Keep writing!

Pico

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129
129
Review of Karma  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a grand poem with a lot of powerful imagery. I liked that. The rhythm is also excellent. I don't quite get why the title and the repeated "refrain" is on a different centre than the rest of the poem. Might be something with your word processor that didn't translate exactly. If there is an actual reason for it I'm not clear on that.

Keep writing!

Pico

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130
130
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I give you high marks for this poem tribute to Brian Jacques. I was introduced to his books through my children who read them and ended up enjoying them myself. I enjoyed his writing style and the characters that he brought to life in the pages of his book.

Thanks for the tribute!

Pico

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131
131
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
As a cubicle person I liked this poem. I identified with much of what you wrote. First couple lines I didn't find really inspiring but it got better and most of it fits well. Rhyming was good and the rhythm wasn't bad. I would have not written "save my bottom" not just for political correctness but because you used the word bottom again two lines later and that made it really clang. I would have used the word butt whatever my readers would have thought. I think the poem sounds better that way.

Great job though! Keep writing!

Pico

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132
132
Review of Last Man  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is a well written Cramp entry. It is true to the writing prompt and delivers a compelling enough scene. Only criticism is the second to last paragraph. You put in a couple weak verbs had and was. I think you can safely get rid of both of them with out making a mess of the meaning.

Keep writing!

PIco

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133
133
Review of Your Intense Kiss  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hmmm... It isn't a load of you know what, but I don't know that it's really that "hot" either. I think most of the way it's subtle and heats up some at the end. Granted my idea of hot is something that makes my heart rate go through the roof and passion build inside of me. I think you're headed in the right direction but to be honest I didn't break a sweat. I think it needed another five lines of intense heat added to the end of it.

Don't be discouraged it isn't bad. Keep writing!

Pico

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134
134
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Terrific childhood nostalgia piece. The description is really good and it reads well. Your writing is quite good but I do have a criticism that might help you get your writing to the next level (pun intended). Go through your story and count how many times you used the word was. Was is a weak verb and so is had. If you worked most of them out of your story, it would be better for it. Don't be discouraged minimizing those weak verbs can be done. I struggled to get them out of my own writing.

Keep writing!

Pico

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135
135
Review of seeking freedom  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
As I read this piece I see a large free verse poem. I don't see any rhyming or effort at rhythm or even a great deal of poetic images but I do see that this can be broken up into lines and maybe even verses. If you write it that way it would make it easier to read. Think about it. You're probably a much better writer than you think you are.

Participate here in this site and try to learn everything you can while you are here. It's worth your time and effort.

Keep writing!

Pico

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136
136
Review of Only For Me  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
One thing I like about this poem above all else is that I know what it all means. Everything you've written clearly relates to the subject at hand and fits together. I'm not much on poetry but I don't much like poems that are baffling. I think you could have created stronger images or had better rhythm but you have communicated your meaning and that is the bottom line.

Liked your writing. Keep on writing!

Pico

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137
137
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
A pleasure to get to review a fellow Canadian novelist on WDC. I'm reviewing this with the disadvantage of not having read chapter one. I may go back and do that later when I have more time.

A couple things jump out at me on the chapter. First the writing is clear and understandable. The story unfolds logically as well.

The downside that I notice right off is the use of way too many weak verbs. Was and had needed to be avoided as much as possible. Of itself making chicken soup isn't all that exciting. Dealing with those pesky weak verbs will help. I'm assuming there is supposed to be a little fire between the two characters here as well. Capitalizing on that more will also help.

A question here: Do you intend for the making of the soup as symbolic of events later in the story? Writing with that in mind with some foreshadowing might also deepen this chapter.

I'm not a terribly experienced writer so I hope what I've said here has been helpful and encouraging. I've learned an awful lot on this site just trying to be active and I'm sure it will be the same for you.

Keep writing!

Pico

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138
138
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (3.0)
There is a lot of good imagery in this piece. Your rhymes are good. I don't have a problem with using imperfect rhyming to convey meaning. Some people do but it works for me. I have trouble linking the imagery together in my mind and relating it to the title. I do see a progression but I'm not sure how it all fits together.

First post here is a good start. Keep on writing!

Pico

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139
139
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
The images of this are very down to earth and identifiable to anyone writing on this site I think. It expresses a lot of what I feel when I am trying to write around everything else that is my life. I'm not going to try and critique this from a technical point of view because I think it is more advanced than I am.

Keep writing!

Pico

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140
140
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a well written poem about the Joker. I don't think anyone who is familiar with batman from any era would have any real difficulty understanding the imagery you used. I does have the dark brooding feeling of the whole batman world. In that sense I liked it.

I don't quite understand the why of the colored words but I don't think it hurts anything.

Keep writing!

Pico

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141
141
Review of Immortality  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
An interesting question explored here. Your rhyme scheme is obvious enough and I though it was really well. I have no problem with ocassional imperfect rhymes because I don't think it harms the message you are trying to convery. My only critique is that it gets a little out of rhythm in a few places. Better than I can do that's for sure.

Keep writing!

Pico

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142
142
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
You created good poetic images and that I would say is the strength of your work here. It's written in free verse so there is not effort to rhyme and that is not an issue. I do think that this type of a poem needs to have a recognizable rhythm to it. I think that would make this poem a lot better.

Keep writing!

Pico

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143
143
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
There is potentially powerful imagery in this piece. It loses me a little though. This may be more of a critique of the reader than the writer. I like to have images that I can concretely identify and that's where I'm struggling here. You obviously have a great deal of ability as a poet.

Keep on writing!

Pico

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144
144
Review of Snake Eyes  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I'm not much of a poet and I don't think I'm that great at reviewing poetry. I really liked this poem. I liked the imagery for the most part. I think they work well. I could identify with the feelings expressed. In your description you missed a the "t" in heartbreak. Sorry to nitpick.

Keep on writing!

Pico

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145
145
Review of Will It Ever Be?  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I liked this. I've been there. Got the postcard. I should think that most of the writers here can at least identify with this a little bit. My audience is more than just the sun and moon... I make my spouse and kids read my stuff. They tell me it's real good but they have to live with me.

As for criticism, I think the third verse could be better. The second line comes off a little flat.

Keep writing though some day it will be you and hopefully me too!

Pico

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146
146
Rated: 18+ | (2.5)
Your story has an identifiable beginning and end. You seem to have a command of the english language. Probably use punctuation better than I do. Spelling and vocabulary are definitely above average.

This story does have a serious problem though. It rambles and rambles. There are a lot of potential good images and dialog but throughout the story I had trouble identifying why the author was telling us all of this. I can identify a beginning but there is no real hook to pull the reader in. Make your reader want to keep reading. Make them want to know what is going to happen next.

Don't let yourself get discouraged. Keep writing!

Pico

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147
147
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Great retrospective. It was an enjoyable read for me. The only thing I really remember about the turn of the millenium was laughing the Y2K scare to scorn before the grand fizzile actually happened. We did lose our father-in-law a month before. He had said he wanted to live to see the new millenium but he was more at peace with himself than anyone else I've ever known.

I don't have any criticism for the piece. Just keep on writing!

Pico

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148
148
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I didn't see any red glowing eyes in the pictures so your situation could be worse. I don't think you have a demon dog. I loved your story by the way. Very entertaining and well written. We used to have an entire zoo. Now we have only a miniature rabbit and home is just not the same.

Keep on writing!

Pico

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149
149
Review of Two Mimes  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Nice work making a story poem with a twist at the end. I don't have any problem with imperfect rhymes to achieve your purpose. I think it works. I find the rhythm hard to follow. That is the only place I feel there is room for improvement on this piece.

Keep up the good writing!

Pico

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150
150
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
The funeral scene is bizarre yet believable. The contrast between good and evil here I believe works its intended purpose. It works. I do sympathize with the Gardyner family in the dark hour. I think you handled it well. Most readers at this point I think want to read of Lord Blackstones demise soon although they don't necessarily want it to be swift. I'm looking forward to reading the next chapter.

Pico

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