I like the slow but detailed development in this chapter. Please see below for corrections:
1. Where it says, "She stood about 5'5, brown hair, brown eyes, and well endowed." It should be 5'5" instead.
2. Where it says, "She was a bit of a control freak, which in my ming led to her divorce." I think you meant to say "mind."
3. Where it says, "It could be who lost there job, who was pregnant and by whom, which cottage got broke into over the winter, and what had been stolen." The word should be "their" not "there."
4. Where it says, "The bathroom located to the right of the kitchen, was adequate, in that it had a tub, toilet, and vanity, with plenty of room to maneuver." The first two commas should be removed so the flow of this sentence is more natural.
5. Where it says, "In fact, there siting against one wall, were a sorry looking pair of old Whirlpool, washer and dryer." I believe you meant to put "sitting" and "was" instead of "were." Also, Whirlpools should be plural.
6. Where it says, "We creep cautiously up the stairs." It should be "crept" since the rest of your chapter is in past tense.
7. Where it says, "And another price for the painting" She said authoritatively as I looked away again in deep thought about the dimensions of the upstairs. --- There should be a comma after "painting" and "she" should not be capitalized.
8. Where it says, "I did not want to headache of running back and forth looking for materials, in an area I was not familiar with." I am thinking you intended to say "the" instead of "to."
9. Where it says, I will be back in an hour, is that alright with?" I am sure you meant to put "you" at the end.
10. Where it says, "Not only that, they used what ever materials they could get their hands on." You probably intended to put "whatever" instead.
11. Where it says, "So if the framing is not, sixteen inches on center, which is code and the way construction is today, then the dry wall has nothing to nail to when you get to the ends, and that means you have to add studs or you end up with a lot of extra cuts and waste, which translates into money! --- Quotes are needed at the end.
Good luck and write on! |
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