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491 Public Reviews Given
723 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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76
76
Review by Leeboi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Tim Chiu *Smile*
THOUGHTS:
Lovely poem you have here. I love the advice. I agree that positivity is needed to earn profit. Positivity = Success = Profit

I read a book recently on how rich people become rich. It was very intriguing. Instead of working a full 40 hour a week job, they instead make the money work for them. It's an interesting process. I figured it was the same with customer service, instead of you working for the customer, the customer works for you.


HAPPY MISTAKES:
None, awesome job! Keep on writing!

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77
77
Review of When it comes  
Review by Leeboi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hello Kings nono *Smile*
THOUGHTS:
I take this is a poem about the possibilities of an outcome if World War 3 happened. I like your predictions here. It's like a game of Risk coming to life.

HAPPY MISTAKES:
There are several typos in your piece/poem here. Most are three sentences in. I think if you went through, you will be able to see what I mean. The word, "nacistc," is this German? I figured it was a typo. One other note, the president of Yugoslavia, capital the word, "president" as it is a part of the entire job title there.

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78
Review of Lady of the Night  
Review by Leeboi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello SunBear *Smile*
THOUGHTS:
Now, this is B-E-A-U-tiful! I absolutely loved it! What a great use of a metaphor. If I ever teach English, this poem would be my example. This brings me to my only negative about your piece, it should be a poem with stanzas and verses. Regardless, it is an amazing write!

HAPPY MISTAKES:
None, it has reached level 5 perfection! Nice on! Keep on writing!

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79
79
Review of Fish Bowl  
Review by Leeboi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Lou-Here By His Grace *Smile*
THOUGHTS:
Your poem has great flow and rhyme. I love how you used repetition with the first and last stanza. My favorite stanza would be:

In my fishbowl
I float, looking
out at your
world,
so dry.


This stanza is an oxymoron inside a metaphor and those aren't easy to execute. The only criticism I have is the way the poem is spaced. Other than that, great write!


HAPPY MISTAKES:
None, excellent! Keep on writing!

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80
Review of Dear Me (2015)  
Review by Leeboi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk *Smile*
THOUGHTS:
Now this takes New Years Resolution a step further. This is genius! I need to start doing this, but for me, I lose focus easily. I think if I did one each month, then I can stay focus. The three things you listed are great priorities. Stay healthy!

HAPPY MISTAKES:
None, it's perfect! Keep on writing!

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81
Review of Pissed  
Review by Leeboi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hello SandraLynn Team Florent! *Smile*
THOUGHTS:
I'm speechless. I never thought I would ever read a story about bladder problems. I guess I can check that one off my bucket list. I really don't know what tempts a person into writing a story like this, but it's well written for the most part. I would assume to curb away writer's block, but that's just a thought.

HAPPY MISTAKES:
It never complained and at times, it seemed to have muscles of steel.

Consider revising to: It never complained and at times, it seemed to have muscles made of steel.

It became a very urgent "call of nature", right here, right now.

The comma should go inside the quotation. Side note: there are a few other places in your story after this where the punctuation mark is outside the quotations. Consider going back and revising.


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82
Review of Armageddon  
Review by Leeboi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Anonominous *Smile*
THOUGHTS:
What emotions! The poem started out with a furry and then logic and reasoning came soon after. It's like how the phases of emotion a teenager displays. They go from fully-heated to hot to, "oh-I-made-a-mistake-let-me-apologize."

HAPPY MISTAKES:
Verse: I don't have the soul to apologise or make amends

The word, "apologise" should be "apologize."

Verse: The day of judgement I keep on evading

"Judgement" should be, "judgment."


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83
Review by Leeboi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Aishwarya Sridhar *Smile*
THOUGHTS:
The fab five! You know when a writer gets bored, they procrastinate. Instead of coming up with brilliant ideas such as beginning each new verse with a "f" word, non-explicit, they hit writer's block. I have to give you all the credit. Never would I've thought such inspiration and creativity could exist.

HAPPY MISTAKES:
None, it's perfectly executed! Keep on writing!

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84
Review by Leeboi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Rhychus *Smile*
THOUGHTS:
Interesting poem about a blind cowboy and his faithful ghost dog companion. I never knew the two would make a great buddy-buddy system. Amazing creativity! I love how you used "bold" to highlight an even shorter poem. What would be better is if you made a haiku with the bold phrases, but that's just nitpicking. Great write!

HAPPY MISTAKES:
None, it's well written. Keep on writing!

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85
Review by Leeboi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello RocksbytheSea *Smile*
THOUGHTS:
These are notes/ideas for a story. It looks good so far. I'm no novelist. I do try and read novels written for feminism and those catered toward men. For feminism, I like the Lost Apothecary. For men, Tom Clancy novels. Your story seems to be a love story. The love stories I like are ones with an underlying themes like vampires aka Twilight. That movie, Love and Basketball, superb! I'm a guy so, I try to keep things neutral. So far, your ideas look good, now, it's just a matter of writing it out. I hope this story works out for you! *Smile*

HAPPY MISTAKES:
None, keep on writing!

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86
86
Review of Lesson# 5- Part A  
Review by Leeboi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello very thankful *Smile*
THOUGHTS:
I feel like I'm in grade school all over again with this assignment. I have to admit, my punctuation skills are pretty mediocre. My grammar skill, abyssal. How I even made it through high school is beyond me. I'm going to give this a shot.

HAPPY MISTAKES:
Part A

1. "Just where did he say he got that pink jumpsuit," asked Paul.

"Just where did he say he got that pink jumpsuit?" asked Paul.

2. The children's book made a lot of sense to the 3rd graders, but the 1st graders struggled with it.

The children's book made a lot of sense to the 3rd graders, but one 1st grader struggled with it.


3. The waiter asked if we wanted any chocolate chip pie.

The waiter asked if we wanted any chocolate-chip pie.

4. The rain kept pouring outside. We were very unhappy that we could not go inside.

The rain kept pouring outside, but we were very unhappy that we could not go inside.

5. Mother said we were to buy: sardines, blueberry muffins, Lysol, and prune juice; but we forgot about the muffins in our hurry to get home.

Mother said we should buy: Sardines, blueberry muffins, Lysol, and prune juice. We forgot about the muffins in our hurry to get home.

6. Mr Davis' briefcase lay near the door, his coat on the chair, and his wife on the couch.

Mr. Davis' briefcase lay near the door, his coat on the chair, and his wife on the couch.

7. Father liked everything to be in its place.

Father like everything to be in its place.

8. You might not agree but, it's my story and I'm telling it. (WATCH OUT! This one might bite you.)

You might not agree, but it's my story and I'm telling it (WATCH OUT! This one might bite you).

9. How old were you when you learned your ABCs?

How old were you when you learned your ABC's?

10. The classified ads contained twenty-three apts.

The classified ad contained twenty-three apts.


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87
87
Review by Leeboi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Toemetricist *Smile*
THOUGHTS:
I love this piece. You wrote with such passion that I felt each sentence. I was encapsulated. I feel this piece should be in poetry format. It read like a prose. I'm not sure what you intended to do with this piece, but I would recommend you turn it into a poem. Great write!

HAPPY MISTAKES:

Becomming still we will eventually notice the ripples.

"Becomming" should be, "Becoming."


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88
88
Review by Leeboi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Marvelous Friend *Smile*
THOUGHTS:
As I read through this, it reminded me of the 90s movie of the Leprechaun. I envisioned Warwick Davis as the Leprechaun here. What even amazed me more was your usage of Native-American culture/heritage; particularly with events like the pow wow and visions from an Indian chief. Well played!

HAPPY MISTAKES:
Verse: The Leprechaun’s spirit travels to and fro,

I believe, "fro" should be, "from." I'm not sure if this was intentionally considering it rhymes with, "owes," which comes two verses after.


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89
Review of New Lovers  
Review by Leeboi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello T.L.Finch *Smile*
THOUGHTS:
Love in the circle of life. Well executed! I really enjoyed the colors and word choices you used in the poem. The use of redish brown really brings warmth to the poem. I truly felt the passion in which you wrote this piece. Nice write!

HAPPY MISTAKES:
None, it's well written. Keep on writing!

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90
Review of Pilate's Lament  
Review by Leeboi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Brenpoet *Smile*
THOUGHTS:
Back in Sunday school, my teacher showed up a video of Jesus being crucified. It was gory for my taste as it depicted a man being nailed onto a giant wooden cross. My eyes would squint and shut every time a new nailed was hammered in. To this day, I'm terrified of crosses. Perhaps, the video my Sunday school teacher showed was inappropriate for 6 year olds to view. But it was the early 1990s. Shock culture and high tolerance were the norm across the board for everyone.

HAPPY MISTAKES:
None, it's written well. Keep on writing!

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91
Review of For You And Baby  
Review by Leeboi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello amy-Has a great future ahead *Smile*
THOUGHTS:
What a wonderful Hallmark card greeting you wrote here. This is something I would hear or see at a baby shower. It's short, sweet, and to the point. This would also work for adopted babies as well. It's beautifully written!

HAPPY MISTAKES:
None, it's error free. Keep on writing!

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92
92
Review by Leeboi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (2.0)
NOTES/ERRORS:
I thought a summer of freedom lay ahead of me, but there was talk at the dinner table of extracurricular activities to prepare me for university.

Add, "a" before, "university."

I’d watched the branch grow for over a decade, stretching further each year for my window, as if silently daring me.


I believe, "for" suppose to be, "from."

Daring me to leave behind the family that had accepted me, raised me so lovingly alongside their own son, and made sure I wanted for nothing.

That last part, "made sure I wanted for nothing." Consider revising. I'm not sure what you met here. Also, "the family that had accepted me, raised me so lovingly alongside their own son," you should consider adding, "biological" before, "son" if you're indicating that the main character is adopted.

My classmates have been twittering about the big opening night of a new club, Castle, for the last few weeks.

Use italics on, "Castle."

Turning away from my house, I cut through the dark night towards the town centre without looking back.

Consider replacing, "looking" with, "glancing."

The inside of Castle is like nothing I've ever seen before.

Consider italicizing, "Castle."

Someone knocks into me, breaking my trance.


Replace, "knocks" with "bumps."

The bar’s length is guarded by a crowd three bodies deep.

Add a comma after, "crowd."

He pours multiple drinks side by side,

Add dashes to, "side by side."

If he’s made a mistake with any of the orders, no one has noticed.

Change, "has" to, "would have."

“Hi, I’m Kaira. You’ve never been to a place like Castle before, right?”

Italicize, "Castle."

“Luce. Cute name. Don't worry, I know some of the staff here at Castle. I'll look after you.”

Again, last time I will mention this, italicize, "Castle."

She pats me on the back in an oddly motherly gesture, then ruins it by handing me the next drink, this one a pale pink, cloudier than the last.

The part, "this one a pale pink" replace, "a" with, "is."

Conscious I don’t need it my hand reaches out on auto pilot and closes around the icy glass.

You're missing some commas/periods here. First, add a comma after, "Conscious." Add a period after, "it." Capitalize, "my."

She tugs at my arm, pulling me away from the safety of the bar and onto the crammed, heaving dance floor.

The word, "heaving" probably should be, "heavy."

I'll stop here as my review is becoming lengthy.


SUMMARY/THOUGHTS:
Keep in mind, I'm not a professional reviewer or novelist. Take my words with a grain of salt.

My thoughts on this novel so far is...what's the purpose? The way a novel or a story with several chapters should begin is by introducing the main character and giving him/her depth immediately. This can be done in the first chapter or in the prologue, if you include one. The parts I read from your story/novel doesn't "hook" me or encapsulate me to read further. Consider adding a prologue that introduces the main character better and setting him/her up to the main problem of the story.


*Delight* KEEP ON WRITING! *Cool*
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93
93
Review of The Log Cabin  
Review by Leeboi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Mary Ann MCPhedran *Smile*
THOUGHTS:
Not bad. I think there's a much more grandiose story to come from this. I believe you should carry forward and turn this early draft into a masterpiece. Just a thought.

HAPPY MISTAKES:
I was happy and I soaked up the atmosphere of the evening

This last part, consider changing, "and" to "as." It will make that last sentence much stronger and more meaningful. It would also summarize the entire segment with that concluding sentence.


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94
94
Review of ARE YOU A TEEN?  
Review by Leeboi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Vaishali *Smile*
THOUGHTS:
Awesome like flowers that blossom! I enjoyed your poem. The very questions, as once-teenagers, we try to avoid. I love your flow and rhyme throughout. Very well done! My favorite part was the last stanza where you wrapped the poem up nicely about exiting the teen years. Excellent job throughout!

HAPPY MISTAKES:
None, it's written well. Keep on writing!

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95
95
Review of The Cuts  
Review by Leeboi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hello Rosewood *Smile*
THOUGHTS:
Yeah, suicide is a huge issue that many would like to overlook or turn the other cheek. It's a case of mental issues and having medical issues such as depression or having bipolar disorder doesn't help. Great write!

HAPPY MISTAKES:
Verse: You’ll be thanking me once its over

The word, "its" should have an apostrophe.


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96
96
Review by Leeboi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hello Prosperous Snow celebrating *Smile*
THOUGHTS:
It's missing something...emotional connection. Don't get me wrong, there are some displayed throughout, but it didn't encapsulate me like that of a broken character or soldier, who's life story consist of misery. Perhaps I'm being too picky. You did write this in a Go Vat format and you get my high appraisal there. Nice job!

HAPPY MISTAKES:
No grammar or punctuation error that I see. Superb job! Keep on writing!

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97
97
Review by Leeboi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hello RBM5 *Smile*
THOUGHTS:
It was a bit difficult to read considering the entire story is clumped together. Consider adding paragraphs and line-breaks to the story.

HAPPY MISTAKES:
Eclipse muttered to himself as he awaited the two to leave the room which seemed forever for them to do so. With the coast clear Eclipse knocked open the air vent panel and ran over to the main computer. Using hacking abilities he learned from going into Shadow's mind Eclipse found it easy to override the computer's systems as he now gained control over all machines that ran in the base.

You're missing some commas here. The first sentence after, "room." The second sentence, after, "clear." The third sentence, after, "mind."


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98
98
Review by Leeboi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Debby123 *Smile*
THOUGHTS:
I got Dr. Seuss vibes after reading this. I think it could actually be a Dr. Seuss book. It just needs a bit more verses/stanzas. As is, it's fine but I think if you add more length to it it will make it even more spontaneous. Just a thought.

HAPPY MISTAKES:
Verse: Children"s squeals, you used a quotation mark instead of an apostrophe.

,Flower bouquets, remove the comma at the beginning.


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99
99
Review by Leeboi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
NOTES/ERRORS:
"Thank you for the offer but if you had done your research into me properly you would know I'm retired. Goodbye".

The period should be inside the quotation.

"Mr Bishop", Harrington said, "please .... humour me, a few minutes of your time?".

Put a period behind, "Mr." Capitalize, "please." The word, "humour" should be, "humor." Remove the period at the end of the sentence.

"You have 10 minutes," he said, before pulling a chair over in front of the desk, "start talking".

Period should go inside the quotation.

I see several dialogues have this same issue. The period or comma needs to go inside the quotation marks.

Some of your words like, "humour" or "honourable" are misspelled. Is this British-version of English?


SUMMARY/THOUGHTS:
I have a question: Was this novel inspired by two things? The things are a TV show called, "The Queen's Gambit." The other, Tom Clancy? Because it has both inspiration or vibes to it. You're using chess to name characters like Mr. Bishop, but the story takes inspiration from Tom Clancy as he creates memorable characters like John Clark and Jack Ryan who go out and do secret agent missions or military adventures. Just thought I ask because it reminds me of both.

*Delight* KEEP ON WRITING! *Cool*
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100
100
Review of To love  
Review by Leeboi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Hank *Smile*
THOUGHTS:
Yeah! Right on! That's how you write a prose. I really enjoyed it. I'm not sure if you intended to be a poem or not, but it read and could be transformed into a poem. All it needs is the proper spacing and stanzas. Then you have an excellent grade A poem at your disposal here. Excellent write!

HAPPY MISTAKES:
It's well written. Keep on writing!

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